The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: iron_felix on February 26, 2007, 12:06:30 pm
-
Maybe Ray should have stuck with his first idea. (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=02262007)
I'm really digging panel four. Is it just a metaphor, or was he actually going to construct a set for some sort of David Blaine-esque street performance?
Wow, two first posts in a row. Maybe I should get my own crescent moon.
-
Of COURSE you're digging panel four. You like cats in crescent moons, dude.
-
You can practically see Ray's ambitions augering in like a gut-shot mallard before he even gets so far as a possible number three.
I love that crazy guy!
-
I think the biggest question I have is who is Ray talking to on the phone?
-
I'm guessing he's talking to Teodor, since he was the only one there for the initial discussion.
The SO read Julia & Julia about a month ago and was really into it.
-
Of COURSE you're digging panel four. You like cats in crescent moons, dude.
Cats in crescent moons rule. I honestly forgot about my own avatar until after I posted, though. Now I feel really stupid. I blame it on the influence of the moon last night, which was also a crescent.
On second thought, I think the bowtie and starry background may give panel four away as more than a publicly staged dictionary-reading stunt. No, Ray is clearly being hoisted into the heavens during the grand finale of a of a big song-and-dance number, the lyrics of which consist entirely of random words from the dictionary.
-
Lark's tongue in aspic!
-
Lark's tongue in aspic!
What was with that owl all covered in mayonnaise? That was depressing.
-
The contrast between panels four and six really make this strip and show a lot about Ray's mindset lately. When he reads words in the dictionary, he does it with flair and showmanship and attracts a crowd. When he attempts new sex positions, he just keeps turning back to that old reliable way, the Shameful Masturbation Triple Lutz. (Incidentally, is there anything more shameful than turning on the water in the bathroom to masturbate when you're alone in your own house? That just indicates some low self-esteem, right there. Or maybe he doesn't want to hear Beef getting his bone on out in the boathouse.)
-
Or maybe he doesn't want to hear Beef getting his bone on out in the boathouse.
I don't think Ray thinks that far ahead without prior needling and... I don't think Beef would ever call a man on the fact that he heard the fella wanking. It would be close to almost kinda sorta being slightly gay.
I'm thinking it was Molly who overheard him and called him on it. Only since then has he thought to be paranoid about the subject. Not because he's ashamed but because in his mind, he's afraid it would tempt Molly to go after him and he couldn't do that, not to a buddy from small times.
On the same token, he knows that if Molly came onto him in a time of particular desperation, he would in no way have the force of will to not have sex with her. It is like someone who knows that if they get drunk in the bar, they will hook up with a stranger and don't want to do that...
It's not that they figure out how to control themselves when they're drunk. They don't go to the bar and not drink enough to do that. Their own ability to overcome their instincts, well, they don't believe they could ever do that.
So, instead, they don't go to the bar.
Ray thinks Molly would not resist mounting him if she caught him pulling one out and... Ray realizes he would not resist the mounting either if he was already pulling said one out... and he would never want to hurt Beef like that.
In Ray-Logic, where he thinks all women want him and where he knows he wants all women, the only path out is avoidance. Doing everything he can to obscure when he is playing his one-man band.
-
People please. This is bordering on the slash fic I thought we'd get buried under after last week's T&A cartoons. It is none of our business how or if a cartoon cat wanks.
Incidentally, my phone number is one digit away from spelling CAT-WANK. It's a handier mnemonic than you might imagine.
-
augh
mets I loved that thing you did in the other topic but this might be too much
Incidentally, my phone number is one digit away from spelling CAT-WANK. It's a handier mnemonic than you might imagine.
score
-
I feel that there is a difference between "fan fic" and "comparing the cartoon cats' situation to a situation that happens in the world, you know"
and LFM is firmly within the latter. He is just saying what he knows about jacking off.
-
He is just saying what he knows about jacking off.
Damn right.
Wait. Wait, I mean...
Damn right.
I know guys who would be afraid of jerking off in the same house as their friend's girlfriend only because they wouldn't wanna tempt the lady in question. There are people like that in the world. More than you would ever care to think.
Alls I'm sayin' is.... Ray is one of those dudes.
-
So I guess this would be entirely the wrong time to point out that the sight of Ray's sack draping ever-so-slightly over the edge of the moon is somewhat... unnerving?
Nevermind. There pretty much is no right time for a thing like that.
-
I know guys who would be afraid of jerking off in the same house as their friend's girlfriend only because they wouldn't wanna tempt the lady in question. There are people like that in the world. More than you would ever care to think.
Despite of course the fact that the possibility of such a situation taking place is almost completely nil as anyone who would get jumped by a woman if he were to be discovered jerking off in their house would have such a powerful draw as to not ever require jerking off?
-
I know guys who would be afraid of jerking off in the same house as their friend's girlfriend only because they wouldn't wanna tempt the lady in question.
Ladies: Is there something wrong with me, or are such guys totally out of their gourds to think that there would be anything, um, appealing about this scenario?
-
Of course that couldn't REALLY happen... or has only happened a few scattered times in human history where the lady was genuinely mentally unhinged and... the whole situation probably didn't end well at all. But that's not the point.
The point is... there's a lot of dudes out there whose images of sexual fantasy were molded by their readings of "real life sex stories" in the letters pages of porno-mags and lad-mags like FHM and Maxim and so on. These guys are, yeah, insane to believe them but...
That kinda shit can imprint on you when you're thirteen. Especially when you're a guy which... is a kind of being crazy already. Millions of dudes are rolling around thinking that things like that are happening ALL THE TIME. Just not to them.
Millions of guys think that the only reason they aren't getting into sexy shenanigans like that are because they are crap dudes and... smooth-talking motherfuckers are having weird sexy adventures like getting busted in on jerking off by their best friend's mom and then totally getting jiggy with Mrs. Robinson all the time.
They believe that they are losers for not getting into those situations, not that those situations don't happen.
Ray is just one of those dudes. Dude was all twelve and memorizing Playboy letters, trying to figure out how to get into those situations. A third of the guys I knew in high school were like that. Half the dudes I knew in college were like that.
Probably for the better, my young sexuality was molded by talking video store people into renting me the uncut versions of the softcore B-movie comedies they used to show on USA Up All Night with the boobies and the butts and the swearing cut out.
In that universe of sexual fantasy, yes, shenanigans are afoot and nakedness goes down but... at the end of the day, the protagonist is really just trying to get his bone on with the one girl he actually loves. There was a sweetness to them, they weren't about cruising for faceless random boning encounters.
But, in summary, yes, to think Wacky Penthouse Letter Sex Events happen a lot is totally unrealistic and gross but, yes, many many men are still imprinted with the idea that... those kinds of things happen to guys cooler than them all the time and that they are awesome events.
-
um, I feel like this kind of thing happens to Ray all the time.
I seem to recall
her thong underwear was visible above her low-rise jeans, and pretty soon we were getting mad rutty
in reference to a social worker who came to talk to him about LN.
I am not proud of remembering those phrases.
-
I think the biggest question I have is who is Ray talking to on the phone?
I like to think he's talking to the guy who wrote "Esquire's 100 Favorite Sex Positions", from this strip: http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04212005 (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04212005)
-
Hmm... while ray may have once been in the habit of getting mad rutty with thonged social workers, lately (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09132006) even in his fantasies he just goes to the library and reads about coins. I like to believe that in spite of all the boning he's done, and in spite of all the talking about boning he's done, deep down he's still afraid that if he masturbates without the water running, his mother will somehow know. Miles away, she'll feel a disturbance in the force. She'll put down her cocktail and say, "My, I do wonder if little Raymond is alright. Perhaps I ought to drop by and see how he's doing." Run the water, though, and she'll be none the wiser.
Oh, also: I just made this avatar of a shark jumping out of the water, but now that I'm looking at it I'm thinking it looks really familiar. Did someone already use this picture for their avatar? Did I steal it?
-
In Soviet Russia, shark jumps you.
-
Oh man! I was totally going to say that if someone mentioned jumping the shark in response to my avatar. You premptively stole my joke, so now I feel less bad about possibly stealing someone's picture.
-
So did we cover the Treasure storyline in Ray's blog where Ray said that he was one of the few guys who doesn't spend time alone in the bathroom with the water running?
-
Don't forget Ray's date with the (also thonged, if I remember correctly) art store clerk, where she passed out before the mad rutting could commence. I remember thinking until last summer that baking bread at home would make such an awesome date. It's novel, and it has a hands-on kind of feel to it, but I have this nagging suspicion that a lot of women would just get weirded out if I asked them to bake bread with me. My own version (following a rather loose interpretation) involved buying a kit from a website from which to assemble an authentic candlestick rotary phone from the 1920s. I planned to buy such a kit and then store it somewhere in my apartment until such a time as I asked a girl on a date, at which point I would invite her over to help put the phone together. Fortunately, I realized how silly this was before I had actually bought anything and got an already-assembled replica phone for about $300 cheaper.
I'm not really sure why I wrote all that, actually, but it's worth sharing anyway.
-
A few years ago my then-boyfriend turned to me and said,
"You know what? I think I'm going to go to a thrift store, buy an old rotary phone, and take it apart."
"That's amazing!" I said. "Can I help?"
"Yeah," he said, "It'll be fun."
For weeks I thought about the impending project, and about what a great relationship we had. It's easy to find a guy who'll buy you dinner, but guys who'll buy you a rotary phone and take it apart with you are few and far between. I imagined how we would sit over the phone, look down at it, talk about the memories it evoked. How we would search its surface for removable parts, then run our eyes over its insides. Together we would figure out how it worked, and explain it to each other, weaving our ideas together, sharing every revelation, working to build a conceptual rotary phone in our heads while deconstructing a physical one with our fingers. At last one day we went to a thrift store, but they didn't have a rotary phone. We planned to check back later, but he left me before we got around to it.
-
I once took my girlfriend to this really old Virginia town with a small river running through it and footbridges. The town had some great pie shop where you could get any kind of pie and eat it outdoors in this garden/courtyard. There were historic signs about the history of the small town remained small town and the mayor's house was on main street where it had always been since the civil war or what have you. It was beautiful.
Then I locked her in a bathroom at the pie shop so I could smoke a cigarette.
-
A few years ago my then-boyfriend turned to me and said,
"You know what? I think I'm going to go to a thrift store, buy an old rotary phone, and take it apart."
....At last one day we went to a thrift store, but they didn't have a rotary phone. We planned to check back later, but he left me before we got around to it.
Somehow, this sounds like Dutch cinema.