The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: linnea on April 05, 2007, 09:00:06 pm
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I was reading some bullshit email today that is referenced on Snopes yet people still forward them. I was thinking about all the things I have learned. Originally I was going to do "28 things I have learned by age 28" but I only have time to do 15.
1. In high school, people loved gossip. That never changes. At church, at the workplace...even when you're finally a grownup at age 55, people will still be talking s#*t.
2. Exercise every day, even if it's just a walk.
3. Change your passwords periodically. And pick good ones, not like "boris yahoo (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=01142004)".
4. Music has healing and restorative properties.
5. The true measure of a person's niceness is most readily apparent at 3AM on a stressful ambulance call. Their true worth can also be seen in how they treat waiters, clerks, and children when they're rushed, stressed, or busy.
6. When you're on your deathbed, things that are things won't matter (like clothes, the size of your bum, your degrees, your house, your cars, and your materialist trappings won't matter). The people that you love will be the only thing that matters. Live your entire life so that you nurture those relationships.
7. Don't ever burn bridges unless you enjoy shooting yourself in the foot, or being up shit creek without a paddle.
8. Live to LIVE. i.e., don't live for food, your job, or to work.
9. Even when you're horribly sick, few things comfort like a cup of hot tea and some toast. Unless you have a hangover, in which case it's your own damn fault, so get hydrated and get to work you pansy.
10. Rest assured that you will be judged – by idiots for superficial shit like your appearance, clothes, vehicle, house, friends, etc. Disregard those people. Smart or shrewd people will judge you for non-superficial things like your words, deeds, and tone of voice. Those are the things that really matter. You will ultimately have to answer to God/the woman upstairs. So just be the best version of yourself. Don't "strive", just fuck*ng do it.
11. Treat others with kindness and respect. If they are a total shit excuse for a human being, sarcasm is okay.
12. No matter how busy and tired you are, brush and floss before bed. Don't forget to wash your face and use eye cream nightly even if you're under 25 cuz your face will majorly thank you later.
13. Save money from every paycheck even if you're 15. Put it in a separate savings account and periodically shove some of it into an investment fund, like a CD or mutual fund. Don't put it off, and don't spend it. You will need this when you're my age and want to buy a house, only to discover that you've pissed all your money away on CDs, perfume, and going to restaurants.
14. Don't stress if he or she doesn't call. Wait until the right one shows up in your life.
15. For the love of God, do some goddamned research before you hit the forward button on the email.
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That's a great list. I would only add: As well as changing your passwords, back up your files. And try some chocolate with the hot tea and toast.
Also, one of the things that won't matter on your deathbed is where you went to college. In fact, it will stop mattering long before that, so don't have a nervous breakdown about it.
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This is a fairly bitching list. With the passwords, I would stress the importance of keeping email or other significantly private passwords different from all others. It's all good and well to have "carebearstare" for all forums or games, as the worst that can happen is pretty insignificant, but Bad Shit can go down if your email is read. Don't make it easy.
And I'm not sure that #14 is correct, but I am young and kind of needy in terms of affection, so I am not a good arbiter.
I would also distill the essence of several to say: It is never wrong to be a Nice Dude to people you don't know. Frequently, it will do you good.
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Yeah, it's awesome to see your lists, that's why I posted mine. Post more lists!
Teatime, I put in #14 because I have wasted years of my life worrying and fretting and hoping that my Current Love Interest would love me back. The relationship that I had to put the most effort into (the one with Crap Dude) didn't pan out for shit anyway. Maybe I had to cross those bridges to get to the place where I am now...but I'm going to stand tall and say, "Fuck it, I am going to chill back with my bad self and if someone comes into my life, then so be it." No more of this stupid hankering and pining. I'm done with it.
...of course this new resolve will probably be thrown the hell out the window as soon as a hot guy asks for my number.
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When encountering a new situation, and wondering whether or not to take a risk, don't weigh the chances of failure. Instead, imagine the worst that will reasonably happen if you do. If you can deal with this, take the risk, no matter how likely it is that nothing will come of it.
I am totally incapable of doing this, being pretty repressed and shy, but if you can pull it off, it's likely to make you wildly successful.
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and seriously, just chill out man.
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edit: damn, I am kind of depressed that I said that before. I am not a bad boyfriend, I swear. I think.
Things I have learned-- today!
-the answer to "why shouldn't I skip class occasionally? everyone else does it!" is "because then your professors might not believe you when you have a legitimate reason to stay home."
-while I personally like people to give me a reason if they screw up ("sorry I was late-- I knew I said I'd meet you at 9, but I lost track of time"), many people will take this as trying to avoid responsibility. There is not any way to explain yourself that some people won't understand in this way. This sucks, but, you know.
At the same time, WTF? "Why didn't you come to class yesterday?" "I'm sorry. I slept through my alarm." (several others answer same question) "That is not an excuse.Guys, come to class." Well... was I supposed to lie? I mean... if he asks me for a reason, how am I supposed to answer? I feel like failing to give a reason will be interpreted as "I just don't give a shit, sorry" instead of "I made a mistake".
Damn.
PPS: I know that the whole "knock on wood" or "asking for it" or whatever concept is bullshit. however, in the past few days I have learned not to say the following things, EVER:
"wow, it sucks that you're sick. I haven't been sick like that in a long time"
"huh, that's weird. I don't think I've been sick and thrown up in like... 2 years"
"wow! I'm impressed at how fast I got better. I guess it was just a 24-hour bug."
NEVER let a youth gang make fun of an older Chinese man on his way home at night. NEVER, EVER let them knock his hat off. I cried when I saw this.
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That is the saddest thing.
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*1) There is no secret.*
2) Find that thing that you love more than love, and do it as much as you can.
3) When you see someone doing well, celebrate it. When you are doing well, celebrate it. When you or someone else has done bad, but had learned from it, celebrate it.
4) Keep hydrated.
5) Seek good sex and good food as much as possible. Don't rush either - allowing yourself pleasure is an important gift.
6) Tell people honest, silly things about yourself, especially in situations where power is in play. For most people, this will bring out their human side too. If a person won't rise or fall to your level, watch out.
7) You don't have anywhere near as much time as you think you do.
8) Happiness is the most valuable commodity in life. Don't buy into anyone else's standard of what your life should be.
9) Love is it - give it and accept it as if you've never been hurt.
10) Know where you've been, where you are, and where you're going.
11) Accept that there are many things you will never know, but continue to be a student until your brain turns to dust.
12) Accept that there are many things you do know, and be a teacher. Record the things you know in writting, in words spoken to share, in art, in code, in laboratory results, in the spaces you create, and put them out there so that you can teach even after you've gone.
13) Share your hurt, hear out other people's hurt. Talk about solutions, look for hope.
14) Think about your role as a citizen of the world everyday - and take positive action wherever possible.
15) Laugh, even if you're the only one laughing. If you find joy, hold on to it with both hands.
* number one is the most important advice I've ever gotten. It was first presented to me in relation to art, and it's an important lesson. Many people will present themselves to you as having some secret knowledge that they are either keeping from you for your own benefit, or will give to you if you earn it in some way. But there is no secret. The art is in the doing. This is how I make my art as a director and writer, and it's how I live my life too. Art and living are both processes based in action.
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Sure Im only 21, but here is what ive learned.
1.) Stuff that is stuff DOES matter. When you are on your deathbed, money will decide in what condition you die, and how well your family lives.
2.) your degree DOES matter. Sure there are plenty of people who do well without a good college degree. These people are lucky and not the norm. I know many people who are rich or poor because of where they went to college.
3.) Love is mostly a joke. The US has something like a 50% divorce rate. Dont fool yourself.
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Things I have learned in the last two posts:
1) No one has told Smells the secret yet.
2) A-CAP is totally right and yet totally wrong.
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Things I have learned in the last two posts:
1) There is no thread so good A-CAP will not find a way to crap on it.
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1.) Stuff that is stuff DOES matter. When you are on your deathbed, money will decide in what condition you die, and how well your family lives.
well, assuming that your family is relying on inheritance for money. And assuming that "how well you live"="standard of living." Personally, my parents have informed my siblings and me that they are planning on leaving us (nearly) jack shit, money-wise. The concept is, you know, that we should actually earn our own money, and make our own ways. I am glad this is the case, because to be honest, I don't know how I'd deal with getting money from my parents dying to begin with.
The only thing that pisses me off about this is that they seem to be disposing of their funds in three ways:
-charity donations, which is great.
-visiting family, foreign countries, seeing the sights of the world. This is awesome, and I hope one day I can afford to do the same.
-buying random-ass shit that no one needs, that I never thought my reasonable and responsible parents would buy. I am refraining from going into details because, I mean, they're my parents. I guess saving up your money won't accomplish anything since you can't take it with you... but some of this shit is just a waste.
I guess this can be summed up in:
--no matter what you start out with or are given in life, the quality of your Life comes from what you do with the stuff beneath your chest and between your ears. We're just a bunch of lucky atoms that have come together to make people, and the only natural "purpose" of our lives is to have babies, and then die. However, humans have a tendency to make their own plans. Make your life into what you want it to be. Make your own purpose.
(not to say I'm doing this, but... I'm working on it.)
(I don't mean this to be some sort of weird rant, I (think) I had a point. I hope this will be taken in the spirit of the thread.)
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Things I have learned in the last two posts:
1) There is no thread so good A-CAP will not find a way to crap on it.
Get the hell off my lawn, A-CAP.
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2.) your degree DOES matter. Sure there are plenty of people who do well without a good college degree. These people are lucky and not the norm. I know many people who are rich or poor because of where they went to college.
I can't find the reference now - I will probably look harder for it later when I am trying to avoid working and if I post a link someone should yell at me about how far I have gotten on today's list of things to do - but someone did a very interesting study that really showed that it didn't matter where you went to college. It LOOKS like it matters because people with certain qualities go to the fancy colleges. But if you pick out a group of people who got into, say, Harvard, and then follow the ones who chose to go somewhere less fancy (yes, those people do exist), it turns out that they are just as successful in later life as the ones who went to Harvard. So it's much more that people who have the qualities that lead to success get into Harvard, than that Harvard can give you those qualities.
Of course, this is sort of the depressing answer. It's who you are. If you aren't that kind of person, it doesn't matter if you fool Harvard into taking you. It won't help. You're still stuck with who you are. But on the other hand it means that if Harvard makes the mistake of not taking you - because they already have too many, I don't know, students from Long Island or lacrosse players or some shit - and you're the right kind of person, you're going to do fine anyway, so fuck them.
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Damnit, I thought I said something like:
"if you get into a fancy college, it is because you are really rich or really hardworking and smart. These are the things that matter, not where you went to college."
Guess I forgot to submit?
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Another deep observation about life: 99% of success is remembering to hit "post".
Or something like that.
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I dont think I crapped on the post so much as I offered the truth to a hippie. I was thrice decanned for this.
Also, the author and I are both volunteer life savers and yet have radically different views on life that we are saving. I ponder this when Im pooping.
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A-CAP, now you're just going to lose yourself more cans. Instead of anonymously decanning you, I am going to try to explain why. People have contributed actual content to the discussion since your last post, casting doubt on your position. If you think your point is defensable, why not try rationally and civilly defending it? Instead of being a snot to a well liked poster with a much longer track record than you have? I'm not sure what you intend this to accomplish but what you get is the decanning.
If your goal is to be a dick to people on the internet, fine, but don't complain about the results.
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Seriously? What are you trying to prove by calling me a dick and a snot? Calling me names on an internet messageboard says more about you than it says about me.
I didn't realize we were all expected to "rationally defend" all of our posts. I'm pretty sure "15 things I have learned" is a post consisting of personal opinions that don't require documented sources.
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Seriously? What are you trying to prove by calling me a dick and a snot? Calling me names on an internet messageboard says more about you than it says about me.
Maybe this says something about the side of the fence on which I reside, but I tend to think that referring to someone as a "hippie" is a bit of name-calling unto itself.
And referring to oneself as "offering the truth" seems to be sort of, ah, passive-aggressive.
*sits back and wonders if this is constructive criticism*
*puts on Simon wig*
*ssssssip*
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1.) You won't know who your real friends are until you've hit rock bottom.
Oh... say... laying in bed with panic attacks except for the times you kind of show up for work, for weeks at a time. Your real friends will be the people who are still calling you after weeks of that sort of thing. Those are your real friends. When those people need a lift somewhere or help moving, do those things for them while smiling.
2.) If you don't succeed at what you're trying to do until you really figure things out, it's okay.
Life is short but not so short that it's worth doing things the wrong way to get them done quicker.
The Buddha didn't figure his shit out until he descended from his daddy's castle to witness Poverty, Sickness and Death. Jesus basically wandered around struggling with unseen voices in the desert until The Dude was thirty. Mark Twain was a goddamn riverboat captain, a war deserter, a failed prospector before he stumbled into writing.
Motherfuckers who succeeded young? Yankees minor league prospect Brien Taylor. The "Home Alone" kid. That chess player who went into hiding and became virulently anti-semetic. Michael Jackson.
If you're eating ramen for five years, you are probably actually learning real things about the real world that will make you wiser in the long run. It's okay. It's okay.
3.) Nobody gives a fuck how good you were in school.
They might care WHERE you went or WHAT you did but... you ain't getting nothing for having a 3.7 instead of a 2.8... and at most, even that will only get you into an interview.
And in that interview, they won't give a fuck at all. College will help you a lot if a professor that likes you is well connected or a good friend of yours is a success out the gate. But unless it's about, like, you need a certain level of certification or something, such as to be a lawyer or a nurse or a teacher... they don't fuck*ng care.
Remember how after your first semester of college, your SAT score no longer meant a damn because even if you tried to go to another college, all they would look at would be those grades? Multiply that realization by fifty. Now triple that.
4.) Anything you do out of a desire to impress someone else will fail horribly.
When you find a way to do things that is about pleasing yourself, man, now you are in the goddamn sweet spot.
Truth to yourself IS success, motherfucker.
5.) Self-confidence is a kind of being insane.
So is arbitrarily agreeing to the concept of time or the concept of money or whatever. But we're here and sometimes you gotta be crazy to survive. Only be as crazy as you need to be. Never let yourself be crazier. Down that path are dragons.
6.) In eighty years, you will be organic compost no matter how big you succeed, no matter how big you fuck up.
This fact can console you at your lows and temper you at your eyes. Nothing will defend you from death, nothing will trap you in a place where death can't reach you. And it's the same for everyone.
7.) We are all in this together.
Don't let the bastards tell you any different.
8.) Possessions will never make you happy because there will always be another bigger possession outside your reach, just over the next goddamn hill.
The bear kept going over mountains and there kept on being fuck*ng mountains. And yet, not having the essentials material possessions CAN make you feel awful and hurt you.
At least today and in the Western world, we are innoculated with an addiction to the heroin that is the pursuit of disgusting wealth from a very young age. And we will all of us always be addicts, even those of us who have been recovering for decades.
Find your methadone.
9.) The good guy finds a way not to kill. The guy who kills for good reasons is only the least bad guy.
10.) If nobody gets hurt and people are happy, it's good. If people get hurt, it's bad, even if the other people having fun don't know that they're hurting others.
Ignorance is a mitigating circumstance, not an excuse, for hurting others.
11.) Anyone who tries to tell you that they know more about the nature of God than you is either trying to use you or completely fuck*ng crazy. Probably both. Any time you try to tell someone that you know more than they do, you are either trying to use them or you're fuck*ng crazy or probably both.
If there's a higher power, each of our experiences with it are different, personal and completely subjective.
12.) There is no objective truth.
We are each of us a sphere of reality with its own subtly different rules. Parallel universes overlapping and changing as we interact with other realities. The whole damn show is subjective. Ayn Rand was a whiny little whore, so unsure of herself that she had to pretend there was one truth for everybody. That's the heart of goddamn insecurity.
13.) If you can find someone who can deal with all your shit patiently and you can deal with all their shit patiently... and you both like fuck*ng each other... shack up together and never let go.
That's love or, at least, that's where love begins from.
14.) A rainstorm that would be an annoyance in New York City is God's own mercy in LA.
15.) Whenever you're hurting bad, remember: everyone else feels that way sometimes too.
Your pain is the same pain that that bum in front of the Seven-Eleven feels, as a senator feels, as a janitor feels, as a nun feels.
No one deserves it... especially not them, especially not you... no matter who they are, no matter what they've done.
We are all the same woman and man in the face of hurt.
If you can remember that and act on that at all times, you will never have anything to regret.
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Maybe this says something about the side of the fence on which I reside, but I tend to think that referring to someone as a "hippie" is a bit of name-calling unto itself.
And referring to oneself as "offering the truth" seems to be sort of, ah, passive-aggressive.
but calling someone a dick and snot... thats totally rad?
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LFM's 14 reminded me of the thing I have learned about perspective: Your biggest problem in life will always seem like a big problem, even if you're so lucky that your biggest problem is a hangnail.
There's nothing you can do about this, it's just the way the mind works - just remember not to complain about your hangnail to your friend with cancer.
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Neil Young:
Though my problems
are meaningless,
that don't make them
go away.
I need a crowd of people,
but I can't face them
day to day.
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HELL OF CANNED, KEITH.
"On The Beach" is one of the best albums ever made.
The title track that you reference is Full of Truth and there are few things more fun than tearing down the Hollywood Freeway blaring "Revolution Blues" with the windows down.
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For a second there, i imagined you crying in hollywood blaring music with the windows down.
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1) Don't de-can people for posting their personal list, even if it's wildly opposite to the vibe/outlook everyone else has.
Okay, okay, just messing. I have a few serious ones, just hope I'm not re-posting anything:
1) Falling in love is not something to be cautious of. You will never understand what it is until you mistake it for something else a few times, and you will never know the joy of the ups if you don't have the initial lows.
2) Backing down is never a bad option, and is often a good one, but don't ever consider it the only response to a confrontation.
3) While it's important to be yourself, it's also important for your own happiness and that of others to accommodate different people by never being inflexible with how you act.
4) You can bullshit your way through a lot of things if no-one scrutinises you too carefully, but this does not give you the right to commence with said bull-shitting.
5) For God's sake, revise!
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HELL OF CANNED, KEITH.
"On The Beach" is one of the best albums ever made.
The title track that you reference is Full of Truth and there are few things more fun than tearing down the Hollywood Freeway blaring "Revolution Blues" with the windows down.
Yes, yes. I have to put it in my top five. I just discovered this less than two years ago, and it quickly became one of my all time favorites. I love Neil Young, and this is his last classic album that I discovered. It became my favorite by the time it was over. Vampire Blues is probably my favorite cut, but the whole second half is just killer, all capping off with the brilliance of Ambulance Blues (also, I know that Vampire Blues is not on the second half, just to make clear).
Have you heard him talk about honey slides? My mouth is all types of burned from them.
Also, a good lesson would be not to bug people about stuff they don't like/ care about, but honey slides are part of the conversation this time. (honey slides are a way to consume marijuana, possibly developed by Neil or a member of his band, the link I give makes me think Rusty Kershaw, who I can only say played on On the Beach, so that makes him a hero to me.) Neil used hell of Honey Slides during the recording of On the Beach, just to make it clear. I am sorry it always comes to this, but, well, another lesson that I have learned in life is that you know what you know.
http://www.thrasherswheat.org/rns/honeyslides.htm
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1. Triple check your alarm clock.
2. Don't get involved in MMORPGs.
3. If you want to sound more confident on the phone, eat an apple during the call.
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I want a honey slide.
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2. Don't get involved in MMORPGs.
Yes.
Or, perhaps, more generally: "understand that your recreation activities are, above all, meant for recreation. If they stop being fun, stop doing them; don't let a sense of obligation or nostalgia keep you bound to them. Fun should be fun, and if it ain't fun, don't do it."
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Keith, I'm glad you've come to understand the "this one time when I/my buddy/this guy I heard about was so full of drugs/booze..." stories are getting old. Your post about honey slides is all about education, so I approve. I think maybe you are getting this whole "posting on TOUAMB thing. With Keith's personal growth in mind, here comes...
...things I have learned (about posting on TOUAMB)
1) Feel free to let your dork out. Everyone is letting their dork out.
2) Don't be a one note wonder (aka the M. Night Shamalamadingdong method) - post messages with varying themes, content, topics.
3) Beware the mods - they are extremely smart, don't put up with shit, and have secret powers that you don't want to be on the wrong side of
4) Re-read a post more than once before you respond if it's pissed you off. Maybe you misunderstood, maybe the person who posted it isn't very good at communicating via the written language
5) Every chick on a message board is a hot chick. Don't take it too seriously.
6) That poster who makes you angry? Does s/he remind you of either of your parents? If so, treat them as you do your parents - ignore what they say, and visit them as little as possible.
7) Arcane or weird stuff is always interesting - if the post is about EDUCATION, it is totally worth posting.
8) Everyone is no one until they post something surprising.
9) Do not feed trolls
10) There is a difference between a troll and an uneducated n00b, but that difference is sometimes really hard to tell.
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Hell of can'd, Smells. That should be our new official posting guide!
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... but trust me on the sunscreen.
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... but trust me on the sunscreen.
Heheh... I thought it was amusing that people attributed that speech to Kurt Vonnegut, who is one of my favorite authors. I remember when it had heavy airplay on the radio in Colorado in the late nineties. I liked it, can't remember who wrote it or performed it.
And A-CAP...calling someone a hippie and "enlightening them with the truth" is a total Pat move. Don't be a dick, much less a self-righteous one.
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Some dude wrote it as an editorial for the chicago tribune then Baz Luhrman read it (I think in one of those infuriating e-mails it was propagated in) and got it recorded by some dude.
Baz Luhrman: The man gets things done.
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In college, I had that song on repeat for a while as it was inspiring something I was particularly interested about writing. I'm... pretty sure it was one of my many crank letters to the student newspaper that never got published and I basically only wrote for my own amusement.
Anyhow, my roommate was... watching videos of old Dolphins games as he was inclined towards on a lazy Saturday afternoon and... at one point, he shoots up out of bed, looks over at me and yells:
"EAT! PANCAKES!"
And then just lays back down and watches more Dolphins highlights. I have no idea how to react to this so I just, like, go back to writing.
Half an hour, he shoots back up, looks me square in the eye:
"BUT TRUST ME! ON THE PANCAKES!"
Turns of his video, puts on his sandals and walks off to the lunch hall.
I'm gonna be a groomsman in his wedding next summer.
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Complain loudly at the reception about the lack of pancakes.
Of course he'll probably never remember what you're talking about, but deep down, you'll know.
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2. Don't get involved in MMORPGs.
if your friend asks if you will play in his D&D game, do not say "sure, why not!"
It will be fun and cool for like 10 minutes, and then you will start hating all his annoying-ass geek friends.
And then you'll start thinking "oh my god, am I turning into one of them? How can I hate geeks?? I used to be/am a geek! ahh! I have to like these geeks."
and it'll turn into this huge thing.
Also, said friend will constantly bring up your D&D game in front of other people. Female people.
I guess it's pretty specific advice, but... take it. Take it if you don't want to end up playing D&D for hours on your Saturday night.
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things I'd like to add:
1) changes and obstacles are an inherent part of life. We need to buck up and deal with them the best we can; whining and/or fearing change doesn't do crap for us. It's how we deal with those obstacles that shows our true, inner mettle.
2) In the Vonnegut vein (heh), often finding a community to belong to can be very helpful--religious or otherwise, so long as it's a community. It gives us a crazy extended family to feel connected to. This in turn helps us to be better humans. It can be all to easy to flounder about alone, unconnected.
3) Especially don't be a crap dude or lady to those you love/care about. Life is hard enough, we don't need to be eroding trust and respect with our loved ones.
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Sage advice.
Canned tae fuck.
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1.) You won't know who your real friends are until you've hit rock bottom.
As one who *has* I'll say both "Amen" to that, and add the corollary: and you may be surprised who those real friends are - they may not be those you'd expect.
I could go into this in greater detail but I'll keep it vague and impersonal now in the spirit of generic wisdom.
4.) Anything you do out of a desire to impress someone else will fail horribly.
When you find a way to do things that is about pleasing yourself, man, now you are in the goddamn sweet spot.
Truth to yourself IS success, motherfucker.
In my experience I've found that people don't give a shit about things that you do for yourself. If you want to be successful, work to make other people great.
Ask yourself "What would George 'It's a Wonderful Life' Bailey do?"
9.) The good guy finds a way not to kill. The guy who kills for good reasons is only the least bad guy
Some people just need killin'.
10.) If nobody gets hurt and people are happy, it's good. If people get hurt, it's bad, even if the other people having fun don't know that they're hurting others.
Love God and do what you will.
Do what you wilt, lest it hurt none.
12.) There is no objective truth.
That's not true.
15.) Whenever you're hurting bad, remember: everyone else feels that way sometimes too.
Knowing that others suffer doesn't make my suffering any less painful.
Misery may love company, but that's only because Misery is a complete dick.
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15.) Whenever you're hurting bad, remember: everyone else feels that way sometimes too.
Knowing that others suffer doesn't make my suffering any less painful.
Misery may love company, but that's only because Misery is a complete dick.
I hear this a lot, and I think it completely misses the point.
True, you'd be a huge dick to feel better about your own suffering because other people's suffering just makes you feel good about life, but that's not what it's all about. Suffering is part of life, and sometimes it's easy to lose sight of that. The nature of humanity is for us to blow our own problems out of proportion, and remembering that other people have it just as bad - and probably much worse - helps put things back in perspective.
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One: Being a guy who likes beer and works at a beer factory is not as much fun as being a guy who likes chocolate working at Willy Wonka's Factory. This lesson was learned in the hardest of ways.
Two: People will always act in their own self interest. This is a good thing because other people benefit from have teachers that want to be really good teachers and construction workers who want to be really good... etc
Three: Transferring to a different college is the biggest one of the biggest pains in the ass a young person can experience.
Four: Your best friend isn't the one who tells you what you want to hear; Its the person telling you what you need to hear.
Five: Being part of a community is awesome and rewarding - but so is being able to survive alone (inner resources if you will).
Six: Bathe daily - Always have clean clothes - Always have a suit ready (you never know when a fancy party or funeral could happen) - Always fold your clothes and put them in their proper places - Drink heavily but remember to go to work when the party is over.
Seven: Ditto on the alarm clock triple checking.
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Sadly, the only advice I can give is this:
1. Get up when your alarm clock rings the first time. Otherwise, you may hit the snooze button and suddenly wake up an hour later and completely late for your morning classes/work.
2. Don't eat milk products if you're lactose-intolerant and not taking something like lactaid. Even if you really like ice cream.
3. Knives are sharp. Remember this. Your fingers are important.
Truthfully, I have more advice, but it would only apply to specific instances of stupidity that most people would never encounter. Unfortunately, I am not most people.
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Don't write on CD-R's until the tracks have successfully copied.
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* Don't download the screener rip of that new hollywood movie from a public tracker. Use a private group.
* Don't suffer just to try to prove to someone else that you're hard.
* Don't ever look a gift hoss in the mouth, which basically means if someone offers you something you want or need, fuck*ng take it. Don't let pride fuck with you. Whenever you have a conflict between your greed and your pride, let the greed win every time. Pride don't pay the rent, mufugga.
* Video games are huge time sucks, but they ain't gonna play themselves. Since someone has to play them, it may as well be you.
* Let the ugly girl blow you. She'll enjoy it more, work harder to please, and will have such low self-esteem as to not expect reciprocity.
* Give her hers anyway.
* Sex is about her orgasm, asshole. Yours is pretty much a given. So get to work.
* That dipshit college kid who screwed up your lunch order at TGI McFriday's will be running the dang world someday. That thought'll turn you off your feed faster than the chicken jalapeño guacamole shooters will.
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Don't let pride fuck with you.
Fuck Pride!
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L-Money, I reposted my answers into my journal and three of my friends posted their answers and... I do believe some of their friends have posted theirs.
Congratulations, you have birthed a meme. It has your eyes!
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L-Money, I reposted my answers into my journal and three of my friends posted their answers and... I do believe some of their friends have posted theirs.
Congratulations, you have birthed a meme. It has your eyes!
Heh, awesome nickname. Thanks!
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* That dipshit college kid who screwed up your lunch order at TGI McFriday's will be running the dang world someday. That thought'll turn you off your feed faster than the chicken jalapeño guacamole shooters will.
Replace TGI Friday's with Quiznos and that describes my summer exactly. I still remember the face of every soccer mom that complained about a sandwich. Now I regret deciding not to be a science major because I don't know enough chemistry/biology to blow things up.
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* Let the ugly girl blow you.
The concept that I could one day be allowing someone to perform oral sex on me is... bizarre.
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Replace TGI Friday's with Quiznos and that describes my summer exactly. I still remember the face of every soccer mom that complained about a sandwich. Now I regret deciding not to be a science major because I don't know enough chemistry/biology to blow things up.
You want to blow up Quizno's because it reminds you how much you suck at making sandwiches?
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The concept that I could one day be allowing someone to perform oral sex on me is... bizarre.
For me this was high school. There was the ugly girl who never went on any dates and even her friends would frequently "forget" to tell her about gatherings because she was annoying. Starting in like 7th grade she decided that I was her ideal man and would try to get with me whenever I was single. She was of the "if I offer to be his fuck-buddy he'll slowly realize we're meant for each other" school of insanity.
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oh no. so sad.
OK, now I am kind of thinking of a circumstance where I have a story. It was weird being in a situation where the lady wanted that more than I did. I am pretty sad that that girl ended up being a bitch, because damn was that a situation to be in.
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The concept that I could one day be allowing someone to perform oral sex on me is... bizarre.
Hey, this dick ain't gonna suck itself!
I think this is one of those "Thank you? More like 'You're welcome.'" kinds of deals.
I also forgot to add that the ugly girl will try harder to please and probably be better at giving head than the really pretty girl who doesn't need to be skillful - although on the other side of that coin is the insanely pretty girl who overcompensates and excels at everything because she doesn't want people to think she's skating by on her looks.
So maybe let the neurotic really pretty girl blow you? That way you get the competence AND good looks. It's win-win.
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So maybe let the neurotic really pretty girl blow you? That way you get the competence AND good looks. It's win-win.
What if they have a panic attack and bite? Then they realise what they are doing and descend further into a panic attack and get panic induced-lockjaw and they refuse to go near a hospital out of embarassment.
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You want to blow up Quizno's because it reminds you how much you suck at making sandwiches?
I just want to blow things up in general. Alas, I can only make Mentos and Coca-Cola fountains.
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I can confirm; neurotic girls are the way to go.
Also: a guy down the hall says that the first really popular mentos + coke video on youtube was some guys he knows.
they are in the circus with him.
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I did 32, because I'm 32; and also because quite a few of them are just quotes that really resonate with me but I can't claim credit for them. Also, some seem like duplicates. I'm pretty sure Lao Tze's, "It is better to light one small candle than to sit and curse the darkness," is essentially the same thing as "No whining" (#32 on my list). So really, once you put the duplicates together and get rid of the quotes, I'm pretty sure it's actually just 15. :)
1. We can do no great things. Only small things with great love. (Mother Teresa)
2. One sees clearly only with the heart. The essential is invisible to the eye. (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry)
3. Do the best you can with what you have to work with. (my father)
4. It takes pain to be beautiful (my mother)
5. No matter how much you love someone, your chances of separating from them are infinitely better than your chances of separating from yourself.
6. Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. (Ambrose Bierce)
7. When I am worm food, people will not say, “Oh she had a great car and perfectly manicured nails!” They will (hopefully) say, “She changed my life for the better, she was there for me when I needed her, she helped me be a better person,” etc.
8. The only person you can count on to love you 100% of the time, and be there with you for your whole life, is yourself. Love your Self first. You are useless to others if you do not have the self-esteem to keep your body, mind, and spirit intact.
9. Understand that loving yourself first does not mean loving yourself exclusively.
10. Every day I count wasted in which there has been no dancing. (Friederich Nietzsche)…Dance every day. No excuses. Move. Stretch. Breathe. Fly. Smile.
11. Remember What’s Important.
12. You are always on time; you are always in the right place. Be here.
13. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission (Eleanor Roosevelt)
14. It is better to light one small candle than to sit and curse the darkness. (Lao Tzu)
15. It is easier to be uncomfortable when we’re young than when we’re old. Live a modest lifestyle in your youth to enjoy comfort in age.
16. Learning is lifelong. It is not something that happens to you, it is something you do, and you do it by living and by paying attention.
17. A life without the arts is nothing.
18. Humans, for all our languages, for all our art, for all our technology, are utterly incapable of communicating.
19. When it comes to food and wine, consume the very best you can afford as often as is reasonable for your current life situation, and take the time to savor it. Anything less and you may as well get your nutrition via injection.
20. Be responsible in how and what you savor.
21. There’s treasure everywhere (Bill Watterson)
22. It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.
23. Love is essential, but is insufficient, for a lasting relationship.
24. Relationships—romantic or otherwise—are work. And they are worth it.
25. There are no shortcuts to anywhere worth going (a beloved dance teacher of mine)
26. Do snakes sneeze? (Dr. Andrew Sihler)
27. A woman confronting the world has no greater resource than those she finds within herself. What modern woman has to recapture is the wisdom that just being a woman is her central task and her greatest honor. It is a task that challenges her whole character, intelligence, and imagination. (Aline W. Hazard)
*I would change “woman” simply to “person” in the above.
28. Life/Fate/God (whichever makes sense to you) never puts you in any situation you aren’t equipped to handle, even if you don’t realize it until after the difficulty has passed. Have faith, in yourself most of all.
29. Four things come not back. The spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life, and the neglected opportunity. (Arabian proverb)
30. Embrace your internal Fuck It. (Mr. Muse)
31. Every single day of your life is a clean slate if you let it be so.
32. No whining.
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"Don't take life too seriously-- you'll never get out alive."
-someone, who knows. It's probably a falsely mis-attributed quote.
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32. No whining.
If every student at my school followed this rule, nobody would ever talk again.
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No. 28 is from the bible. I've always thought this was wrong. It seems to me that people find themselves in situations they aren't capable of handling all the damn time. This truth is particularly acute in the wake of what has occured at Virginia Tech this week.
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My favorite Lao Tze moral/story/quote:
A Taoist and a Confucian were walking along, when the Taoist says, "look at that giraffe, how happy he must be to swim around all day". The Confucian says, "You are not the giraffe, how do you know what makes it happy". The Taoists says, "You are not me, how do you know I don't know what makes the giraffe happy".
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At least one thing I've failed to learn: "It is better to remain silent and appear a fool than to speak and remove all doubt." This was one I picked up in my World Relgion class back in the day, so I can't remember if it's attributed to Buddah, Confucious, The Tao... or something else, but I always remember it. I think it is true, but I never remember this until after I've said too much. Holding my tounge is something I just don't seem to do very well.
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I'll chime in with a couple...
1. Don't disown your friends if they make one lousy err in judgement. Forgive and forget.
2. The most important people in your life are the ones who you can't wait to share news with.
3. Never fry bacon in the nude.
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-- you can put out a (small!) grease fire on a pan by putting the top on the pan.
...you do not need to call 911 and evacuate your pets. They will be amused when they show up and you are outside in the snow in a t-shirt, holding your various pets, afraid that your house is burning down.
(this happened to my friend, not me. He was making doughnuts while home alone.)
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My favorite Lao Tze moral/story/quote:
A Taoist and a Confucian were walking along, when the Taoist says, "look at that giraffe, how happy he must be to swim around all day". The Confucian says, "You are not the giraffe, how do you know what makes it happy". The Taoists says, "You are not me, how do you know I don't know what makes the giraffe happy".
I like how these discussions between Confucians and Taoists frequently come down to an old school "p0wnd" exchange.
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No. 28 is from the bible. I've always thought this was wrong. It seems to me that people find themselves in situations they aren't capable of handling all the damn time. This truth is particularly acute in the wake of what has occured at Virginia Tech this week.
There's a corollary to the statement that goes "The purpose of your life might be to serve as a warning to others". I think there's a "demotivational" poster for it somewhere.
Edit: found it:
(http://www.fotolode.com/images/jaydub/mistakes.jpg)
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No. 28 is from the bible. I've always thought this was wrong. It seems to me that people find themselves in situations they aren't capable of handling all the damn time. This truth is particularly acute in the wake of what has occured at Virginia Tech this week.
Huh. Didn't realize it was from the Bible. I have to disagree, though. Just because you're "never in a situation you're not equipped to handle" doesn't mean you will never fail or will never die, or will never use poor judgment.
I am not seeing the connection between the VA Tech massacre and peoples' (in)ability to handle situations. Are you talking about the shooter, the victims, the emergency workers? *confused gaze*
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I think the better way to phrase that one would be 'You can't change life so just suck it up and deal.'
It's not a matter of you being 'able' to deal with stuff or that life/god/flying spaghetti monster/whatever is ultimately benign it's that life is life and you haven't got a choice but to move on with it. Even if your way of moving on is curling up into a ball in your room and adopting 50 cats.
There's a line from the desiderata (that I thought was from the desiderata and now I've got no idea where I heard it) I've always liked 'This too shall pass'. It's good because it's true whether good or bad everything changes so you may as well get used to it.
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Yeah that's a better way to express it, Doc. Thank you. The voice of clarity!
"This too shall pass," is from the Bible. Or, as a friend's minister father used to say, "This, like gas, shall pass." ;)
Oh... and one more thing I have learned: "Whether you think you can or you can't, you're right." I think it was Thomas Edison? *googling*
Ugh. Henry Ford. Wasn't he in cahoots with the Nazis or something?
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Ugh. Henry Ford. Wasn't he in cahoots with the Nazis or something?
Not directly. I think he just admired their efficiency. Or the way they talked about efficiency. I don't think he cared much for Jews, either.
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I don't know, people. "God won't dish out anything you can't handle" sounds exactly like what would be in the Bible. Maybe it's just me.
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My favorite Lao Tze moral/story/quote:
A Taoist and a Confucian were walking along, when the Taoist says, "look at that giraffe, how happy he must be to swim around all day". The Confucian says, "You are not the giraffe, how do you know what makes it happy". The Taoists says, "You are not me, how do you know I don't know what makes the giraffe happy".
In the Forbidden City there is a "Bridge of the Happy giraffees" (or something like that) from which that conversation allegedly took place. It's a little stone bridge over a small pond with some koi in it.
I've heard Smells' quote attributed to Abe Lincoln before, but by the sound of it that's probably way off.
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Ok, I asked my Mother to find this quote for me and it doesn't exactly match the meaning as the quote Moose used and i'm not sure that it has the exact meaning as what my Mother has used it for, but it's very close.
There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man, but god is faithful who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able, but will with the temptation also make a way to escape that ye may be able to bear it.
This passage is speaking specifically about temptation and the avoidance of sin whereas Moose I think is speaking more to bearing the sins of others. In her case a wicked boss. I still don't buy it. There are countless peoples who are damaged beyond repair because they found themselves in situations they couldn't bear.
The Bible quote seems contradictory to itself because it's saying you can avoid sin if you follow God, while elsewhere in the Bible it says that it's impossible to live a sin free life. But that's a totally different discussion.
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I was looking at Doomglobe's profile in honor of his birthday, which led me to look at some other folks who aren't here anymore, which led me to this - and in the interests of recent stock-taking I've been doing, I think there are some very nice things contained herein, so I thought I'd bump it.
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I want a honey slide.
Oh god yes please.
I just started playing On the Beach. It's too bad I have shit to do.
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I hadn't realized that it was a hard album to find - my brother had it on vinyl when I was a kid, so I always had a copy of it.
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Thanks, this was just what I needed while trapped at the day job for a few hours on a gray day when everyone else has a holiday and no one is posting on the internet.
Did we have the giraffe filter when this thread was originally posted? It adds a nice touch to the last few pages.
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Those fuckin' seagulls ARE out of reach.
The dude is absolutely right.
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Ahh, Chuanoplast and MuseOfFire. Some quality acheheads there. Wonder what's happening with them these days.
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They probably figured the message board folded with the comic.
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They probably figured the message board folded with the comic.
Some people can earn 1000 cans, but the rest of us are down in the trenches everyday earning them one at a time.
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Some people can earn 1000 cans, but the rest of us are down in the trenches everyday earning them one at a time.
Down here is where the real work gets done, my friend, and I'm glad to share the trench with you.
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Down here is where the real work gets done, my friend, and I'm glad to share the trench with you.
just lay off the beans because we share the air, too.
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0) 15 things are hard to learn.
1). How to cook dry pinto beans. Soak them overnight then simmer them (in different water) for an hour or so (DON'T add salt too early!) and then add all your seasonings (chicken stock, half an onion, hella chiles, salt, cumin, sugar, cinnamon, garlic, more heat) and simmer till tasty
2) The lyrics to Oh! Darling describe how I feel about my GF so perfectly
3) The only times I forget all the extraneous BS are when I am skiing or having sex
4) Clothes that fit well are worth every penny
5) Having a body type that is well outside the norm was even more depressing once I realized that well fitting clothes cost way more than I could afford
6) The Rockies are my favorite part of my country
7) I hate most people. That doesn't make me a bad person
8) Injuries and physical pain makes you less afraid of those things.
9) Your experiences do not define you. The way you react to them does.
10) It is really hard to articulate things you think you've learned
11) Coming home to a clean apartment feels really goddamn good
12) I really REALLY love Kiki's Delivery Service
13) The right music can make me feel good under most any circumstances. This might be why I feel the urge to play my ipod whenever possible.
14) Growing your own food is extremely satisfying. I plan to make full use of my windowsills and fire-escape this year.
15) Gashes and bruises and other injuries while skiing mean you are pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone: that is the only way you get better. The rush of dropping into and then finishing a line that terrified you at the top is maybe the greatest feeling I know.
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Wow, this happened while I was on hiatus, and there were definitely some quality n00bs that didn't stick around. Huh.
It also makes a little more sense to me why you guys thought A-CAP was a troll at first. He has certainly mellowed with age.
Just on the off chance anyone cares, here are my 15:
1) We're put on this earth to learn stuff, but not the stuff we're usually focused on. I believe that we're here to learn about relationships, and that every type of relationship we have with another person teaches us something about our relationship with God. Parent/child (in either direction), husband/wife, peer/peer. Even the difficult people with whom we struggle to get along can show us, if we're reflective enough, that we, too, fall short and must sometimes seem unloveable -- therefore, how much greater the glory of God that he can forgive us and love us in spite of ourselves? (Personal philosophy; YMMV.)
2) Sometimes, though, not knowing stuff (or trying to forget you know it) is advantageous. Watching my kids try and figure out the way the world works has taught me that if you don't know the rules of the game, you're much freer to be creative and invent your own rules. Knowledge is power, but it can also limit the number of things you can think of to do with that power.
3) Writing, drawing, playing an instrument, and singing are similar in that anyone can learn to do them, but some people are born with a knack.
4) Nothing is as important to other people as it is to you. Therefore, if you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
5) Your dreams belong to you; nobody else is responsible for making them happen.
6) There are worse things than failure and rejection. For instance, allowing the fear of failure and rejection to rule your life.
7) You can have either time or money, but never both. If you want to free up some time, you're going to have to spend some money (on hiring someone else to care for your kids, yard, or house; on buying convenience foods or eating out instead of cooking; flying to visit relatives instead of driving across four states). But you can save a lot of money by spending time on them (repairing the toilet yourself instead of hiring a plumber; taking an hour a week to clip coupons; learning how to change the oil in your car). The trick is to find the balance that works best with your life.
8) If you own something but don't use it, you're not just cluttering up your house/attic/storage unit. You're depriving someone else of the use of that item, someone who would appreciate it for its true value. Hoarding is selfish; give up your stuff and don't look back.
9) It's just as wasteful to stuff food into your mouth after you're full as it is to throw it in the trash can.
10) Go to the doctor once a year, even if you're not sick. Take your car in for its regularly scheduled maintenance, and see a therapist every now and then to keep your head on straight.
11) Don't take other people's decisions personally. If someone chooses a different path from yours, it doesn't mean they think you're wrong, but if you try to push your decisions on them, you will be.
12) There are three things a child can never get enough of: crayons, paper, and praise.
13) Sometimes you have to apologize even when the other person is wrong.
14) Turn the other cheek.
15) Judge not, lest ye be judged.