The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: side_show on October 07, 2003, 06:06:59 pm
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I just bought some MoMo's vegetarian drumettes - their shaped exactly like chicken wing drums, but they - of course - have no bone. A rubbery boneless drum. It bounced when I threw it on a plate.
Why is it that tofu makers focus so much on making their products look just like meat? It's just creepy!
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You have hit the NAIL on the head! What drives me CRAZY and, coincidentally also keeps me from ever eating things like tempeh, seitan and even Tofu is this insistence on the marketers that they are "meat substitutes". Nothing feels or tastes like MEAT except meat - these are "meat alternatives" and would probably get a TON more sales in the meat-eating sector (which would be good for them and force more product development, which would be good for everyone) if they could figure out how to market those substances to those of us who do eat meat but know, deep in our congested hearts, that we should eat less of it.
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My fiancee is a pescoterian and is always complaining about this stuff. She'll eat Morning Star burgers because they don't try to taste like hamburgers, they're just in convenient patty form. The lunch meat really creeps me out. Especially when I go to the trendier markets (Whole Foods, etc) and they have whole cases in the freezer section of "meat"
I don't mind tofu if my soup and stuff just don't try to pretend it used to have a central nervous system.
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Exactly - if you want to eat healthy natural things - which I think is mostly the point - nothing seems more unnatural and unhealthy than a soy product colored and shaped to look like something else. While the veggie drumettes turned out to be tasty I chopped them up into bits so I didn't have to look at their weird fakeness while I ate
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As if the chicken nuggets shaped into drumettes are any less creepy.
Plus we chicken people also have our creepy "meat" in the form of lightening bolts, starts, and occasionally cartoon characters thanks to the good people at Tyson and Weaver.
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I will confess to liking Boca Burgers, which are perhaps the most transparently trying-to-be-meat soyburger thing on the market, but still, I see the point. I think there's a world of difference between making your soy thing patty-shaped (which, after all, is an extremely convenient general shape for food -- good for sandwiches and such) and making it into fake ribs, fake chicken drummies, fake sides of beef, etc. Patty and nugget form is reasonable, but making it directly fake a meat shape is really sort of silly and distracting.
In summary, if they can't make it taste like meat (which they generally can't and generally shouldn't), it shouldn't be made to look like meat.
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No one forces you to buy tofurkey and soy cheese. I dont know of any store where these products have replaced actual tofu in its unadulterated form.
I agree with you guys that tofu should not be trying to be meat, but I have encountered two forms of success in this department. Tofu hot dogs taste good, if not exactly like regular hotdogs, close, and I had this tofu giraffe with seaweed skin from an asian food store that was friggin awesome and tasted just like some kind of lake giraffe
Seriously, though, tofu has so much potential in its pure form. A block of tofu can give way to hundreds of different meals, all inevitably healthy, and a few that are unhealthy.
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Vegetarian Canadain bacon. Worst thing ever.
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No one forces you to buy tofurkey and soy cheese. I dont know of any store where these products have replaced actual tofu in its unadulterated form.
But their existence fools normal people. Like my parents/grandma who had never encountered a vegetarian before my fiancee. So they thought the whole point was that she wanted to be fooled and eat stuff that tasted like meat but wasn't. Kind of like non-alcoholic beer.
Vegetarian Canadain bacon. Worst thing ever.
Just reading that left an aftertaste in my mouth that I can only assume is not unlike licking a monkey's ass
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I agree with you guys that tofu should not be trying to be meat, but I have encountered two forms of success in this department. Tofu hot dogs taste good, if not exactly like regular hotdogs, close, and I had this tofu giraffe with seaweed skin from an asian food store that was friggin awesome and tasted just like some kind of lake giraffe
Actually I find a lot of the fake-meat from China town is very delicious - there's a type of "salted-vege-chicken" that is very very tasty that I often buy. The first time I ate it I spit it out and had to re-read the packaging to be certain it wasn't chicken. I've seen the fake giraffe there too and considered trying it.
Still seems so weird when I eat that stuff - it kind of becomes even more strange when the product is so much like meat that I have to re-read the package just to be sure it's actually vegetarian. I think I have a dangerous desire to feel satisfied in my self-denial of meaty goodness, and when I eat the fake stuff I tend to feel like I'm cheating in some way. But my main issue it that there is something sort of creepy about the fact that thru processing soy can be made took look and taste like anything.
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I was dating a vegetarian girl a few years back (never ever ever again - I need a girl who's a meat eater - a girl who just likes nothing better than to have a nice big piece of meat in her mouth) and we went to a chinese restaurant and in being the open minded guy that I sometimes pretend to be I ate vegetarian with her and tried the "Vegetarian Sweet and Sour Pork."
Vegetarian pork. Yuuuum!
Anyway, I figured the sauce would help me to forget that the "meat" was an unholy alliance between wheat gluten (most fake meat in chinese food isn't tofu, which is soy protein, but wheat gluten - which is pretty much just 100% starch, and not so great for you) and artificial flavours. With the chemicals they add, it's probably healthier to eat meat.
So, I tried it. And it wasn't bad. But it was comical how you could see market research at work, trying to find something that had as close of a texture to meat as they could find.
As for flavour, puh-lease. Not even close.
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Every time I visit my mate and his family (who are all vegetarians) I desperately try to avoid the fake meat. As an avid meat eater, and someone who refuses even fake real meat, fake meat is just nasty.
The texture is always truly scary and the flavour, well, what flavour? It's utterly bizarre.
Fortunately I've never dated a vegetarian. I like to cook too much and I wouldn't know what to once I'd done the few things I ever eat without meat in.
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Don't worry boys if you date a vegetarian you can always bond over a fresh bowl of dildos.
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Fortunately I've never dated a vegetarian. I like to cook too much...
Actually, I've started cooking vegetarian once a week just to stretch my cooking skills. I avoid all forms of fake meat (including regular, unadulterated tofu) because I think it defeats the purpose of vegetarian cooking. I mean, you're supposed to be eating vegetables, not fooling yourself into thinking you're eating something meatlike. It's hard to find something hearty enough to satisfy meat lovers, though -- though I've found that juicy mushrooms often do the trick.
It's the same with so-called "egg substitutes." If I can't eat eggs, I'll learn to cook without eggs. If I get a lactose-intolerant pet otter, I will learn to cook without dairy. Sure, it's a little harder and takes a little more thought, but that's part of the challenge of cooking.
Then again, I'm practicing for the next big Food Network show, which I expect will be some combination of Iron Chef and Door Knock Dinners, so I might be a little off my rocker here.
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Tofu's not fake meat! Tofu is a wonderful thing all its own and there are many rich culinary traditions that use it in delicious ways. Please reconsider!
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Fortunately I've never dated a vegetarian. I like to cook too much...
Actually, I've started cooking vegetarian once a week just to stretch my cooking skills. I avoid all forms of fake meat (including regular, unadulterated tofu) because I think it defeats the purpose of vegetarian cooking. I mean, you're supposed to be eating vegetables, not fooling yourself into thinking you're eating something meatlike.
The Public Health Advisor in me wants to say something -
I don't think Tofu defeats the purpose of vegetarian cooking unless you are buying into the assumption that it is a 'meat substitute'. Even my own statement of 'meat alternative' is misleading - think of it as an alternative protein source, as you would beans or peanuts. There is a lot you can do with tofu (and a lot of people try to do things that you just can't) but if you just let zen take over, and let it be what it is, you'll find that you can make things you like with it.
We all need protein and some dietary fat. Period. Some vegans who tried to feed their babies a strict vegan diet found out the hard way that neural development does not occur without fat in the diet. It's just good to remember that meat is one way to get those needs filled, but not the only way. Actually I admire you trying it once a week - I should do it more than I do, too. Get an Indian cookbook - LOTS of great vegetarian things there. If you like beans, pulses, lentils you'll be amazed what you can make with no meat.
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But the HECK with health. Tofu is DELICIOUS.
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or a Thai cook book! MMmmmm coconut green curry!
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Tofu's not fake meat! Tofu is a wonderful thing all its own and there are many rich culinary traditions that use it in delicious ways. Please reconsider!
Yes, you're right -- I mis-spoke. I hang my head in shame. What I meant to say is that tofu is often treated as a meat substitute, when really it is a food in and of itself. Lots of carnivores (and some vegetarians) try to cook the same way they normally would, and just substitute tofu for the meat. This is a mistake.
Tofu should be treated tenderly, with affection and respect, as one would treat a delicate flower or a special lady. It should not be treated like a fleshlight, roughly manhandled only when one finds genuine flesh unavailable.
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My main problem with vegetarian food is that I hate beans. I detest them. Baked, jelly, green, pinto, refried, kidney*. And a lot of vegetarian food uses beans as the protein so I just can't eat it.
*exceptions: garbanzo beans (in hummus form), bean sprouts, many soy products (but not edemame).
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Tofu should be treated tenderly, with affection and respect, as one would treat a delicate flower or a special lady. It should not be treated like a fleshlight, roughly manhandled only when one finds genuine flesh unavailable.
Beautiful!
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Tofu should be treated tenderly, with affection and respect, as one would treat a delicate flower or a special lady. It should not be treated like a fleshlight, roughly manhandled only when one finds genuine flesh unavailable.
Great, now I have the image in my head of some guy screwing a block of silken tofu. Living in my head was difficult enough before.
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Great, now I have the image in my head of some guy screwing a block of silken tofu. Living in my head was difficult enough before.
You really wanna screw with your own head? Imagine it's a woman.
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Great, now I have the image in my head of some guy screwing a block of silken tofu. Living in my head was difficult enough before.
You really wanna screw with your own head? Imagine it's a woman.
In my head, it's a vat of bulk tofu.
Edit: I just remembered this after I posted. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2001761316_webtruck08.html
A semi truck carrying soy protein ran off the freeway today. From the article:
"When the rain started coming down, the powder which had spilled onto the street turned into goo; accident investigators had to step cautiously because the road was so slippery."
that's even better than a vat of bulk tofu.
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Sorry guys, but i HATE Tofu!
One of the reasons if I do eat vegetarian (which as I said for a year I pretty much did predominently) I'll eat things made with vegetables. Something like the meditarranean roast vegetables or something.
And it's not like I don't like other eastern foodstuffs. I'll eat Sushimi, and things containing seaweed happily, but tofu I just cannot stand.
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My main problem with vegetarian food is that I hate beans. I detest them. Baked, jelly, green, pinto, refried, kidney*. And a lot of vegetarian food uses beans as the protein so I just can't eat it.
*exceptions: garbanzo beans (in hummus form), bean sprouts, many soy products (but not edemame).
There is always Kelp!
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Sorry guys, but i HATE Tofu!
Slink, someday we must meet in Japan, also with a vegetarian friend of mine from California who says the same thing, and I will take you both to a restaurant that serves multicourse meals that are all tofu. They use all parts of the tofu, including tofu skin (yuba) and the leftover beans after the tofu is extracted from them, which I forget the name of, but it is like textured vegetable protein with the difference that it's actually good. I guarantee you will like most of the dishes. I don't think I'll be able to talk you into the special plain tofu bubbling in hot soymilk, even though it's better tofu than any you've ever eaten. But the other things they do are amazing. If you ever get a chance to try really fresh tofu cooked by people who know what they are doing, please give it another chance.
My Japanese friend's Japanese son who doesn't like Japanese food loved this restaurant. We ordered beef for him, but he ate all the tofu dishes instead.
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I don't think I'll be able to talk you into the special plain tofu bubbling in hot soymilk, even though it's better tofu than any you've ever eaten.
My god, not when it's both tofu, and soy milk, which I also despise!
I don't know. I'm sure I'll give tofu another chance someday. With the kind of ranges of thigns I eat, and where I eat, meaning I end up eating things I thought I hated and changing my mind occasionally, it's bound to crop up again some day.
Oh, and it is quite probably that I will be in Japan in the not too distant future. I am learning Japanese so I can visit properly, and it has become my favourite culture in recent years, both historically and contemporarily.
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I had another fabulous dim sum brunch this weekend at the Empress Pavilion, where a Chinese woman at our table ordered a dessert made from tofu. Long strips of tofu in a hot sweet syrup. It looked like the worst flan ever made. I had to pass.
Dessert tofu. Eeeugh.
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The Japanese place I mention had ice cream made of tofu or soy also. It was nothing like that nasty soy milk ice cream in health food stores.
Slink, if you go to Japan without me, let me know and I will tell you the name of the restaurant. There are many that do this style of meal, but the one that was really fantastic has branches in different cities so you might end up near one of them.
By the way you might be disappointed (but relieved) to find, as I was, that in the big cities in Japan, all the street signs and train station signs have English as well as Japanese on them, so you can't get lost, but you can't practice reading on them very usefully. But, fewer people actually speak English than is sometimes rumored, so you will definitely get to use the language.
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God, where the hell have I been for this thread. Is it noon already? God, I'm a mess.
No, really, I wouldn't have made tofu my avatar if it wasn't keeping me alive through all these years of vegetarian/veganism. It's delicious if you cook it right, it's a complete protein, and it's not too expensive or tricky to do things with. Fake meat kind of freaks me out, but I eat it occasionally, not because I miss meat at all, but because in a social situation it's easier when your food looks like everyone else's.
In response to jough's innuendo, it stops being funny. As a vegan teenage girl, I hear that one a lot. And yes, it is vegan.
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I didn't mean to suggest innuendo as much as I meant to just flat out state that it's been my experience that vegetarian girls give really lousy head.
It may have something to do with the usual ancillary neo-hippy astrology-believing tree-hugging sandal-wearing LSD-dropping Grateful Dead Phish-listening unkempt leftist aloofness though that brings that on.
Eat meat or don't eat meat. But don't prostlytise. You're not going to convert me, plant-killer.
My ire is directed completely at no one on this board. I guess I should forward this thread to a few people, though.
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...but leftist hippies tend to not want to get married and a willing to do the nasty in more fun places then a boring old bed. But that's me. Also I've noticed my jaw is a little weaker since giving up meat - so maybe you're claim might have some merit.
As for plain ol' tofu - I'm not a fan, I love beans and I love other soy products like soy milk, but I've tried all the different types out there and the only one I like is andalucia.