The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Victoria Waterfield on May 29, 2007, 04:50:37 am
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Beef's wedding is going to be awesome. (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=05292007)
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Ray Smuckles: getting pre-drunk to make the embarrassing best-man speech generation process more efficient!
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at my wedding, I want my best friend to tell everyone that my c*ck is huge.
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Yes, I have heard of "pre-gaming". In my long-distant college years, I even HAVE pre-gamed. But only by hours. By pre-gaming for a wedding reception when the question has not even yet been popped, Ray has set a pre-gaming record.
Also, snapping a ruler to punctuate the concept of marriage is clutch.
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Also, note that Ray speaks of his fountain pen, but later switches to computer. From personal experience, I can attest that the fountain pen is an instrument to be wielded in sobriety — for drunkenness, always the keyboard.
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Also, note that Ray speaks of his fountain pen, but later switches to computer. From personal experience, I can attest that the fountain pen is an instrument to be wielded in sobriety — for drunkenness, always the keyboard.
An excellent point, but I'm not sure Ray is ever capable of really wielding a non-metaphorical fountain pen. After all, sour cream lids have proven to be beyond him, back in some alternate Hypertime. (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09272002)
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Yes, I have heard of "pre-gaming". In my long-distant college years, I even HAVE pre-gamed. But only by hours. By pre-gaming for a wedding reception when the question has not even yet been popped, Ray has set a pre-gaming record.
Also, snapping a ruler to punctuate the concept of marriage is clutch.
Snapping the ruler is symbolic of Beef's inches record being broken since he is off the market...as you know, it is measured by the ruler, and so if Beef is off the market then Ray takes the crown back by default.
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Once again Achewood reminds us that it is always about the cat c*ck.
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For best results imagine Beef's face as Ray reads this. Best reception-ruining best man speech ever.
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For me, the best part is the "Can I uh get an extra towel, please" because it's SO RIGHT ON.
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That is the perfect... wedding toast.
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When this came up in my RSS reader, I thought it said "Ray c*ck His Wedding Toast." That would have been appropriate, as it turns out.
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I'm suitably contented with my birthday strip.
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Molly is going to say no. Then what!
Sorry. I'm just ... having trouble enjoying this arc 'cause everybody in the strip seems to think Molly's acceptance is a done deal and the only problem is getting Beef to pop the Q.
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This is Molly and Beef here. Even if she says yes there are decent odds that one or both of them will be back in heaven before the ceremony is over.
If Ray makes that toast, then Mexican Magical Realism Pat will job up on the podium to settle the wang-size question once and for all.
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NO, Ray. BAD, Ray. Do not listen to what the Glenfiddich is telling you. It doesn't know.
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Man, that's a cold thing to do to a cat who is fairly well known to have a notoriously small ding-a-ling due to his intersex nature.
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Roast Beef claims that when he was born he wasn't really developed all the way, phrasing which implies further development was possible, but had not yet occurred. This sounds different from being intersex. Besides, we've seen Beef's c*ck firsthand (or secondhand, if a flashback counts as a hand), and it doesn't look notoriously small to me.
Also: Ray needs a fake gym towel for his prop gag. This is because real gym towels, like real snakes, are impractical.
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My best friend and I got married to our respective wimmins this past fall/winter, and we took different strategies to tackling the question of our toasts. I made an attempt to plan it out ahead of time, his was to wing it. Of course, both plans had something in common - the open bar beforehand. I totally blew mine, having forgotten most of what I wanted to say in a whiskey-blur. His was improvised and wasn't going to win any Toastmaster awards, but at least it was coherent. His wedding came first, and there were many people who attended both weddings. The thought has crossed my mind that he may have intentionally tanked his so I wouldn't feel so bad about blowing mine.
Is he really that much of my dogg (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=03032006)? I moved to Charlotte in September. He moves down next week.