The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Science & Nature => Topic started by: Golfhaus on December 18, 2007, 03:01:32 am
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I can take 12. (http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/)
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28
You could take on 28 five year old kids in a fight.
I think there should be a question about summer camp staff experience.
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21
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26!
I was probably docked points for being fat.
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Shouldn't I get extra points for hating children even at the best of times?
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26 - most likely because I find the concept repellent. My kid is 5, for Pete's sake!
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THIRTY, bitches! Woooo! I knew that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu would come in handy someday. Thanks, Crap Dude ex fiance, for making me study at that academy!
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I imagine Brazilian Ju Jitsu to be a lot like normal Ju Jitsu except that one of your main weapons is searing hot wax.
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So Linnea's adventure last year was like a black belt test? Damn, no wonder those UFC guys are so cranky.
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THIRTY, bitches! Woooo! I knew that Brazilian Jiu Jitsu would come in handy someday. Thanks, Crap Dude ex fiance, for making me study at that academy!
Oh HELLS yeah! I always used to Kick Numerous Asses with the Brazilian guy in Tekken II.
So can you stand on your head and kick a dude square in the teeth? Four different ways?
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30 for me. I have no martial arts training, but I have fought plenty of zerg, am tall with good reach (basketball is the only sport I'm good at), and have no moral qualms with using a child as a weapon against other children.
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Also, I love how this is posted in science and technology. It lends such credibility to the results of the quiz.
Plus, 5 year olds are technically small mammals.
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um. embarassing.
I got 10. Probably because I would feel uncomfortable fighting kids.
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um. embarassing.
I got 10. Probably because I would feel uncomfortable fighting kids.
What exactly don't you feel uncomfortable doing?
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I mean, beating up 5 year olds? I feel like that is a reasonable thing to be against.
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Only 15 here. Being short and fat with no martial-arts training really seems to have hurt me.
I should totally get extra credit for being the daughter of a special-ed teacher and thus inheriting a terrifying genetic legacy of child-herding.
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18, a bit on the low side I feel. I put down that I'd only fight hard enough to win but I have a feeling in reality I would not draw the line so quickly.
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I mean, beating up 5 year olds? I feel like that is a reasonable thing to be against.
We'll see how you feel when you're being chased by a bloodthirsty horde of 5-year-olds.
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um. embarassing.
I got 10. Probably because I would feel uncomfortable fighting kids.
What exactly don't you feel uncomfortable doing?
Apparently you don't feel uncomfortable earning yourself a can, AW.
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I thought 9 wasn't bad till I read the rest of the thread and saw everyone else's scores. I mean, nine! Do you know what a five year old is like when it's riled up?
I think that since I am short I should have gotten extra credit for being able to reach them without bending over.
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I thought we were going to actually get to fight kids. What a gyp off.
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Alright, I ran this two ways...
1) I bought into the premise and decided that if I was to do that I would do it right. To hell with moral niceties, I'ma winning.
The number: 37
2) I bought into the premise (we fighting!) but left my moral filter on. I'm not particularly hip to crush hordes of children, y'dig.
The number: 33
Guess I'll start worrying about my moral filter!
I tried to throw the vote, so to speak, and just choose the most appropriate answers (muscular, highly trained, no moral fiber whatsoever) to get the highest total possible. I wound up with 39, just 9 higher than my total when I took the quiz for real. That... tells you something. I just don't know what.
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I think the premise kind of implies that you aren't just doing this for fun. Like you're fighting for food or medicine or the remote to an unstoppable super-weapon. Perhaps the kids are soulless clones created by some kind of Evil Overlord. The survival of mankind depends on you punching a little boy in the throat, then picking him up and swinging him around by his feet like an airplane to bludgeon other children.
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I spent enough time playing Dead Rising to make me think I'd be really good at this. Like, way better than 30.
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I believe that, in my lifetime, they will make that movie.
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Five gets you ten it will be made by the Japanese.
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CBS has made bold strides (http://www.cbs.com/primetime/kid_nation/) towards that end.
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I'm with you. The whole thing smacks of child abuse and exploitation. Doesn't matter if the parents said its OK, doesn't matter if they had a hundred child psychologists on hand. Just ugh.
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If I was a kid, I would kill to be on Kidz Nation. All those kids got mad money, and hella laid.
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from what I have heard, they make all the "tasks" so obvious that the show is a joke. The kids are not in any danger of failing, much less... being in danger. It is basically kids doing such as Summer Camp Trust Activities, is my understanding.
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Sweet angry jeezus, that looks like some kind of Lord of the Flies reality TV show. Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kid_Nation) sez that the kiddos only got five grand each.
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I think I could take more than 23 5 year olds. Must have been my 'fighting just hard enough' answer.
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25 here. I'm big and I've been in plenty of fights but I'm kind of a softy these days.
But maybe I would start having elementary-school flashbacks surrounded by all those pissed-off kids and bust out the recess-violence moves. I do not know.
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Well, the survey assesses your own willingness to fight, but it seems to assume all the children are completely full of fury. This could not be the case.
I can't believe that a group of five year olds can dial up rage on command like a hardened adult can. I mean, I'm sure kids know about violent ragin', but they got nothing on me, maaan.
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it has obviously been too long since you have been confronted by an enraged son, daughter, or sibling.
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Well, the survey assesses your own willingness to fight, but it seems to assume all the children are completely full of fury. This could not be the case.
I can't believe that a group of five year olds can dial up rage on command like a hardened adult can. I mean, I'm sure kids know about violent ragin', but they got nothing on me, maaan.
Obviously you are not a parent.
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If I had the money, I'd start the parody website: howmanyspearssisterscouldyouknockupinan ight.com. No matter how you answer the question, the answer is always two.
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If I had the money, I'd start the parody website: howmanyspearssisterscouldyouknockupinan ight.com. No matter how you answer the question, the answer is always two.
Man, I was reading Perez today and I was just dumbfounded. How could one family be so fuck*ng stupid? And did you read the HILARIOUS letter that Jamie Lynn's attorneys sent (http://perezhilton.com/?p=10850) when one of the tabloids reported on her pregnancy just a few months ago? Also... speaking of trailer trash, not only did their mother allow Jamie to have a live in nineteen-year-old-boyfriend, she sold the pregnancy story to one of the tabloids as an "exclusive" to make a few bucks. Classy!
It reads:
“Ms. Spears is a devout Christian with a spotless reputation, who lives in accordance with the highest moral and ethical standards in accordance with her faith.
There is no “rumor” concerning Ms. Spears’ (non-existent) pregnancy, except perhaps for the baseless “rumor” just now being created by the National Enquirer.
Ms. Spears is not pregnant. It is pathetic for the National Enquirer to attempt to create a wholly baseless “rumor” that Ms. Spears is pregnant, so it can run a malicious story and false story which would be emotionally devastating to a morally upright 16 year old girl.”
Ha ha ha ha!!!!!
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dude doesn't even know how to use quotes and he is making fun of people. What an ass.
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Well, they are used correctly in terms of the rumour is not a rumour in that it is true.
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Well, they are used correctly in terms of the rumour is not a rumour in that it is true.
Those tricky lawyers and their careful parsing of language.
"It depends on what is...is."
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Those tricky lawyers and their careful parsing of language.
"It depends on what is...is."
You'd better watch yourself, bub.
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...I counted sticking my head in a fire ant's nest as "experience fighting swarms." I hope that wasn't cheating.
Even then, I can only take 24 of the little bastards, which is apparently a bit shabby, given you other party people's reactions to similar scores here. I won't complain, though, seeing how I lost a fight against one 5-year-old back when I was twelve. Crotch-kicking was unfortunately not disallowed for that particular event.
Also...
I believe that, in my lifetime, they will make that movie.
Five gets you ten it will be made by the Japanese.
Already done, folks. (http://www.battleroyalefilm.net/)
...well, sort of. The kids are a bit older than that, but who knows? Maybe they'll come out with a chibi version.
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I just bought this movie. I have already now waited too long for its arrival.
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I love watching that movie when I am coming down from tripping or coke. It pushes it so much further.
Also, when you are quoting something that is in a quote you got to use the single quotation mark. Like this:
"Doc spells rumor 'rumour' because he is from Australia."
Basically though, don't get enjoyment because a 16 year old is pregnant, and especially don't make money by helping those people get their rocks off. They should be sad that there is another baby who will start off somewhat disadvantaged instead of happy that someone you don't know and will never meet is pregnant at 16. I mean, maybe don't care, but to get money and enjoyment from that? Hell of fucked.
Edit: Oh yeah, but if you are going to go through with it, then make sure that you spell and use grammar right, I guess was what I was saying.
No, that is not true. Just do something better with your life.
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To be fair, in this particular case, I don't know that the kid is going to be disadvantaged. Her aunty is a walking pile of cash.
Still, yeah, this (http://bp2.blogger.com/_FBXGhy-QmVw/R2kbfGOD-8I/AAAAAAAABXM/K06Y6vgz3Ig/s1600-h/card1200.JPG).
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More important things when raising a child then cash.
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This is true but there are enough kids having kids out there who live in complete poverty on top of dealing with all the bullshit in their social environment that I'm not going to worry too much about this one.
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This is true but there are enough kids having kids out there who live in complete poverty on top of dealing with all the bullshit in their social environment that I'm not going to worry too much about this one.
QFT. It's not like they're all mooching off of Britney, Jamie Lynn has been making enough bank of her own that her gestating spawn already has more money than I do. It may not guarantee quality parenting, but it does guarantee quality lots-of-other-stuff.
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Like cocaine, and then we can take pictures of and talk shit about the baby in 20 years and all of these sick fucks will eat it up and be happy at other peoples misery.
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This is also true, but as someone who doesn't buy that kind of media, doesn't try to pimp people to that kind of media and is rather aggressively against that kind of media I've kind of exhausted the possibilities present under my non-interventionist morality.
Besides, maybe the kid will dig on snow.
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Yeah, that is a good point, but people should not be so happy about it. I am not really pissed or anything, I just think it is a horrible way to spend your life and, possibly, the scummiest way to make a living.
Also, you saw what I was saying about the quote thing right?
Oh, and 29 I think, I don't remember, took it a couple days ago. I think in real life I would either be way to freaked out to take out the kids, or, if I did, come on, I could take at least 50.
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I got 22, and if anyone didn't know, this the fallout from a semi-famous AskMetaFilter post asking this question. It's a good read. I should go find it.
For posterity/completeness. (http://www.metafilter.com/40645/Round-One-Fight)
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33, bitches.
I'd totally use one as a weapon against the others, too.
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I'd totally use one as a weapon against the others, too.
I would too, but it would be by sowing dissention and thus eroding their collective resolve.
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I would too, but it would be by sowing dissention and thus eroding their collective resolve.
Dang, why didn't I think of that?
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The whole time I was taking the test, I was wondering why there weren't any psychological tactics. I work with children, so that is all I'm going to say about that. Let's just say my number would probably be higher than the test goes if those sorts of things were factored in.
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I got 18, which I felt was pretty high actually, until I got here.
You fuck*ng sickos.
;)
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With the writer's strike not ending anytime soon, I think I'm going to develop this idea as a TV reality series for NBC.
NBC's "How Many Five Year Olds Can You Take In A Fight?" hosted by Bob Goldthwait.
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Maybe they could work it into that 'Kid Nation' show. I'm assuming they all ended going all Lord of the Flies by the end anyway.