The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => People & Places => Topic started by: theinevitable on December 26, 2007, 05:17:12 am
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Maybe it is too early for this thread. I figure, you know, this shit comes real in 6 days.
This year, I want to:
write words to some of the songs I have banging around in my head. I am pretty down on my skills at playing guitar, but goddamn, I think that some of these things I've come up with could be damn good songs. It's not like I want to be able to be John Lennon or whatever... I want to be able to play a song on the guitar and sing it in front of people. A song I wrote. My problem is that I'm too critical of my lyrics... I always throw them away as too lame and obvious after 2 lines.
Get some sort of girlfriend-type-situation going on, but, you know. It's not something I'm planning like D-Day, it's just something I would like to happen, and I am going to try to be my usual charming self when meeting new people, etc.
find something to do this summer. Right now I am about to start an application to be a counselor at summer camp, the camp I went to for... I think 4 summers? Anyway, every time I go there to drop my sister off I completely flip out and get all emotional, I loved it there so much. On the negative side: no AC, no electric guitar, no CDs, no iPod, no computer, no internet, no cell phone, no good food, no peers except a bunch of hippies, a bunch of 12-year-old boys, long hikes, nature, rain, probably cruddy pay
on the plus side: no AC, no electric guitar, no CDs, no iPod, no computer, no internet, no cell phone, a bunch of 12 year old boys, nature, long hikes, rain, happiness, acoustic guitar playing.
Otherwise maybe I will get some kind of intern-y thing. I will be working on my options.
I want to say get healthier, but I don't know if that's realistic. I would like to gain some upper-body muscle, but otherwise I am pretty content with where I am.
Read more great books, hear more great music, keep finding new books to read and music to listen to, read comics, read the news... learn. There is little danger I will stop doing these things, but it's nice to have something on this list I know I'll be able to check off. I would like to be better about keeping up with new music that comes out this year, especially since that is kind of a responsibility I have at the radio station. Actually, no, that is my exact responsibility, and I want to do better at it.
Lately I have been being more conscious about wasting things-- remembering to recycle, remembering leftovers before they go bad, turning off the faucet when brushing my teeth, taking shorter showers-- and I know it's just little things, but I'd like to think that every little bit helps. Good habits, regardless.
Oh, and finally, college and more specifically my college friends have been turning me into kind of a snob, and certain of my friends, while awesome, are making me turn Mean in a way that I don't like. I am not a mean person, I am a nice person by nature. I know this is true. I am just judgemental about weird things, and lately I am not as generous with my assessments of other people as I should be. I am going to be nice. My mom was telling me about meeting my little toddler cousin, and how he's so sweet-- she said he reminds her of me. This made me sad, thinking about needlessly cruel things I've said lately, especially things that I didn't even really mean. I can beat this thing. Most specifically, I am going to try to be better about accepting things that other people are enthusiastic about. It takes all kinds and all that jazz.
Resolutions? Goals? Thoughts?
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I like your last one. Stay nice man.
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Oh, man, summer camp. Thank Christ my parents never pawned me off onto a summer camp.
John Varney's ribald adventures notwithstanding, I always had the distinct feeling that camp was actually summer prison for children. Why the hell would I want to go somewhere else for the summer, there was an entire library and a summer of televised baseball to enjoy!
Why would I... want to hang out with too many other kids? I hated most of the other kids, I was trying to prove I was as smart as the adults and smarter, you know.
Granted, had I been more socially acclimated, maybe I would be generally more successful at being a person but... I would probably also be applying my skills in life to fitting in more instead of coming up with ideas that... never go anywhere because I... have a hard time dealing with structured situations with other people and...
Fuck, one of them Catch-22s again.
Back to my original premise, I was definitely more comfortable in the short term without summers at children's prison. I was definitely more comfortable and that has to count for something.
Or, at least, it did.
FUCK, ANOTHER CATCH-22. I'll... I'll get back to you on this one.
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Oh, man, summer camp. Thank Christ my parents never pawned me off onto a summer camp.
John Varney's ribald adventures notwithstanding, I always had the distinct feeling that camp was actually summer prison for children. Why the hell would I want to go somewhere else for the summer, there was an entire library and a summer of televised baseball to enjoy!
Why would I... want to hang out with too many other kids? I hated most of the other kids, I was trying to prove I was as smart as the adults and smarter, you know.
Granted, had I been more socially acclimated, maybe I would be generally more successful at being a person but... I would probably also be applying my skills in life to fitting in more instead of coming up with ideas that... never go anywhere because I... have a hard time dealing with structured situations with other people and...
Fuck, one of them Catch-22s again.
Back to my original premise, I was definitely more comfortable in the short term without summers at children's prison. I was definitely more comfortable and that has to count for something.
Or, at least, it did.
FUCK, ANOTHER CATCH-22. I'll... I'll get back to you on this one.
Oh HELLS No.
Summer camps rocked. It was an opportunity to get the hell out of your hometown and hang out with dozens (or hundreds) of like minded people of your same age for a week and do activities. I went to hell of summer camps and extra weeks when I could. You could do shit, meet people and make things at summer camp.
Plus, I liked sleeping in a tent.
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Sort of on topic now.
I'm vaguely certain that we've had a New Year's Resolution topic every year thus far.
In fact, I'd be willing to bet that on virtually all message boards that have a long-term existence this topic turns up every December.
Where's CJ when you need him?
P.S. I have some resolutions, but I'm not telling you what they fuck*ng are. It's too personal. Screw you, imaginary internet pals.
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yeah man, Summer Camp was like the one time where I remember really enjoying being Outside and Active and all that shit. During Free Time, I'd go read a science fiction book under a tree. Maybe I wasn't like mr Super Fit In-y. But we went on long hikes and identified trees and looked for deer and went into caves, it was awesome.
I mean, granted, this was basically smart-kid summer camp where the hikes were led by people with biology degrees who were taking a few years off before grad school, in the middle of basically a forest in the mountains of NC...
it is like heaven, people. It is so nice.
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I loved the hell out of summer camp, man.
Anyway, my resolutions basically sum to "get my shit together." Maybe I'll formalize those later.
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Doing shit, seeing things and meeting people were all things that I did definitely not want to do as a kid at all. Meeting people, I like now that I am an adult, much as we like jerks less the older we get but...
I still don't like doing even that out of doors.
Compulsory activities, man, that's why I hated school so much. That's why I was your standard hybrid goof-off/know-it-all, getting good grades meant I could get away with being insular and surly and basically only participating when it was about getting a grade.
They couldn't call you on... mostly doodling, really, and counting down the minutes... if you were the top of the class.
I'm not saying that this turned out well for me in the long run.
I fell into a pattern of structure avoidance that I've been fighting against my entire life. There's a part of me that's still thinking "well, I got good grades, everything else should be voluntary".
It would'a felt like "children's prison" to me but maybe I'd'a been trapped there and forced to adapt.
Maybe I'd be a better adult for it but I swear, the whole thing sounds just exceedingly unpleasant.
Summer was the time when there were no teachers to tell you what to do, man. Especially not teachers who were basically teenagers trotting you out onto forced marches.
That is what I thought about when my peers told me of summer camps, forced marches from war documentaries. I pitied the hell out of them. I was eating cremesicles and catching up on my Press Your Luck re-runs.
I was living as unto a god-king.
As I say, in hindsight, I am deeply ambivalent and concede that forced interaction with strangers and forced activity might've done me good in some sort of intangible kind of way.
But I spent those summers rooting for The Whammy to steal those suckers money because I was smarter than them and I was a fuck*ng kid, for God's sake, and my inner-child regrets nothing.
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Wait, what's happening? Is someone attacking your summer camp hate? Creamesickles and war marches? I am so confused. Forced interaction with kids in some intangible way? This is soo much too much. Seriously. If you are happy, then you will be happy. It isn't that hard. Have fun and do stuff instead of thinking about shit you hate all the time.
Seriously, read this thread again. I know you are losing a job and all, but it is a job. Read this thread again. What is happening?
As for resolutions: leave oklahoma, get in super great shape (like mainly raw food vegan ish+drugs and alcohol.) That is something you got to work to, I think.
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I didn't do summer camps ever, and I'm glad that I didn't. I don't think I would've liked the experience. It was a time to get outdoors and hang out with other kids, neither of which I particularly enjoyed doing. I was really bad at making friends in school, and I don't think it would've changed at all in a camp environment. I was a loner, whose best friend for a long time was his Apple IIc. I know they have computer camps now and shit like that, but 1) AFAIK, they didn't in 1987, and 2) I don't think I've have like the kids there either.
I didn't become a social person until about halfway through the 10th grade.
Resolutions... I don't really do them anymore. No one ever sticks with them, what's the point. I want to work out and get in shape, but I can't afford a gym membership. I'd like to eat better, but after doing the math, I determined that we can afford to spend $3 a day for each of us on food. I'd like to do some more traveling, because I haven't gotten to take Mrs. Haus many places, but again... maybe my resolution should be to get a part-time job - that way, the problem won't be that I have the time but not the money, it'll be that I have the money but not the time.
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My first resolution will be to lock this thread with extreme prejudice if there are any more PRO or CON summer camp posts. People, take your ADD Meds and stay on topic.
Further resolutions include:
Getting a job on the mainland in Q1 2008. Could involve transferring to a PO there in June if nothing breaks before that. God forbid.
Getting back to the gym with some regularity.
Spending fewer hours in the Post Office.
Getting money back into my retirement accounts.
Paying all my debts off while I have minimal living expenses for a couple of months.
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...stay on topic.
On TOUAMB? What now? Are you kidding?
If you lock a thread solely because it went off topic I'm afraid El Guapo might fly out to Hawaii and kick you square in the nuts. We have a heritage of tangential discussions to preserve here, y'know!
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Plan an achecon here and I will make myself available for kicks square in the nuts. Better hurry, this offer expires Jan 1st, 2008.
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My resolutions last year were deeply complex and I undertook them quite seriously. A lot of shit went down at the end of 2006 that required me to reexamine my life. I can say without a doubt that I am a different person now than I was this time last year. It was, as I have said earlier, the hardest year of my life (so far). I think it had a lot to do with seeing the other side of the world, followed by the SO and I almost spitting up. I was thinking about it, and this year I want to keep it simple - something doable, measurable and not necessarily life changing.
My resolution for 2008 is to practice better oral hygiene. I am actually pretty bad at taking care of my teeth. I am considering buying something like this (http://www.oralb.com/us/products/power/triumphsmartguide/)to help me out, but maybe it's unnecessary?
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oh, um, better oral hygiene is something I forgot about and which is important for me to do this year.
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Dang, that toothbrush has a theme song.
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man, that toothbrush... they are really excited about these new technologies which will change the way we brush our teeth, forever.
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It has to be done, so I'll just get it out of the way:
My heart's explodin'! THIS TOOTHBRUSH!
At one time, my dentist told my mom to buy me a waterpik, and to dump a full dose of Listerine (although at first it was prescription mouthwash) into it and fill it the rest of the way with water and basically mouthwashblast my teeth and gums. I have never flossed, and never will. I just can't. Many of my teeth are slightly crooked, and one is just completely out of place. I need braces something wicked, though I'd rather just do that surgery they do that gets it all done in a couple of days.
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Oh, goodness, SMells! The Oral-B TRIUMPH is a triumphant toothbrush indeed!
Shit, I say get it. Or at least a crappy battery-powered spin brush, like I have. It works tolerably well. But the TRIUMPH is the toothbrussssh of the future!!
Resolutions? for 2008? ~~~
Obtain as much horizontal professional credit as possible.
Look into buying a year or three of retirement credz.
Save a ton of money so me and the SO can go to Australia this coming summer.
Better financial habits all 'round. Especially when it comes to budgeting and saving the mon-eh.
Keep going to the gym with Linnea, and sculpt an awesome physique once more. Yesss!
Crazy goal: to one day obtain an elite heart rate. Like. . . 50! That would be teh awesome.
To log some serious mileage on the bicycle.
To obtain flattering bridesmaid dresses for both my BFF and my younger sister's weddings in 2008. And rock the hot bod to pull it off.
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horizontal professional credit
????
Is that a euphemism for sleeping with one's boss?
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yeah, flossing is like...
maybe with practice it would get less obnoxious? but right now, for me, flossing is like when Ray decides to drink milk, and goes all out. (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12062005)
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I predict '08 will be professionally interesting wrestling.
This is how I misread your post Ash. I'm kind of disappointed now.
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Is that a euphemism for sleeping with one's boss?
I read it as meaning "collecting favors from coworkers to cash in later," but I like your interpretation better.
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Sleeping in tents? Man that sounds like a messed up summer camp. At my summer camp we learned to write our names in Mayan, wrote a bunch of poetry, built stuff with solar cells, and played us the hell out of some egyptian rat screw and spades.
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Horizontal pay scale, as in teacher stuff.
My goals...I think I touched on them in another thread.
Run a 9 minute mile.
Get back down to my Pre-Alaska weight (from our Not Dying thread, remember that?)
Save money, pay off credit card
Do a bunch of psychological housekeeping so that I'll be in better shape to meet my fella, when he comes along
Make a much bigger effort towards finding meatspace friends
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Actually, horizontal professional credit sounded to ME like pro-wrestling so...
There has gotta be some kinda wrasslin' mojo to this thread.
In college, I played a pro-wrestler in a short film and...
I'm surprised none of those old knuckleheads ever put that up on the internet.
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My actual New Years Resolution is to let negativity bring me down as little as possible.
It sounds vague as hell but it really sort of covers all the bases.
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I think mine is "eat less red meat and dairy fat." Hope the cows of the world are happy with this, at least.
Past that, it was starting to sound like "figure out what I am going to do when I grow up," and that was just too depressing at my age and after how many years in a row lately that I should have been doing that... so let's just stick with the healthy eating habits. After all, it seems like I am going to have to stay alive and healthy a pretty long time to figure out the other question.
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I've discovered that I'm very nice to the people around me. I've surrounded myself with some amazingly awesome people.
I've also discovered that I'm not very nice to myself.
I have intents to be nicer to myself. I'm very good at things, and am pleasant. It is my resolution to allow myself to feel that way.
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My New Year's resolution is to do things on time rather than a couple days la--damn.
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I got a jump start on my new years resolution, which is to stop biting my nails. I quit in mid-December, and I'm starting to see some disturbing progress. I say disturbing because the new nail (the stuff that hasn't grown in since forever) is coming in all white instead of the fleshy color of the rest of the nail. It's like... it hasn't been there in so long, it doesn't know what color to be. Gross.
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yeah, now that I don't bite my nails, I am amazed by how fast they grow.
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Wait, isn't that what always happens?
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Not when the white part starts when your fingernails can still be considered a "nub."
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I'm becoming a vegetarian (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/2160544915/).
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I've got nearly 2 years now. It is pretty easy; when you want to eat meat just don't. Holidays and stuff are easy because someone will ask you questions about you being a vegetarian in a way to make you appear such as a fool. The rage you get off of that will make it easy. Random times; don't eat it. Seriously, it is easy. Do not eat meat.
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I suspect becoming a vegetarian is made exponentially easier if it gives you the opportunity to introduce more feta cheese into your diet.
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Seriously, it is easy. Do not eat meat.
I've tried before and after only a short period of time I started having insane cravings for meat. But I feel like I can do it now for whatever reason.
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See, the comedy premise here for me is that one becomes a vegetarian in the same way Jeff Goldblum became a fly-man in that one movie "Jeff Goldblum: Flyman"... slowly, painfully, physically bizarre mutations and all and then... at some point... you just start liking it, liking becoming A Vegetarian.
"I'm... getting... better." You might say.
This was the comedy premise for me, your results may vary.
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Paul - the best way to stave off the meat cravings is to eat plenty of beans and other iron rich stuff - hummus, spinach and dried apricots are great for this. When you're craving meat, it's likely the iron your body wants.
I was listening to a dietitian a couple of days ago who strongly opposes the vegetarian diet for most people because of how heavily North American vegetarians tend to depend on soy as a source of protein while we're already getting more than we need even in foods that aren't particularly vegetarian in nature. Because it's become an additive in so many foods, she was saying we're eating way more soy than the body is meant to ingest. She noted that even in cultures where soy is traditionally part of the diet, they eat much less soy than North Americans do - and she was talking non-vegetarians here. She went on to talk about how too much soy can drastically throw your endocrine system out of whack.
I know this story well since I have hypothyroidism which constantly fluctuates and is very difficult to controle even with constant medical supervision. When I became a vegetarian I was depending on soy based foods as my main source of protein and I became sicker than I've ever been in my life. I was very confused because I was eating in a way I thought was very healthful - eating lots of veggies, very little fat, etc. I was vegetarian for almost a year, growing sicker and sicker and having no idea why. I started talking about the specifics of my diet with medical practitioners, and finally realized that my problem is dietary. I learned that soy in large amounts not only throws off regular hormone productions like testosterone, estrogen, sex hormones, etc, but it also prevents the absorption of the synthetic hormones I need to take to stay alive (as well as the absorption of several other medications and even some vitamins), so my hormones crashed, and I became so ill that I felt like I was dying - I was in crisis where I couldn't stay awake for more than 4 hours. My thyroid hormone levels were the lowest they'd ever been while I was on the highest dose of the synthetic hormones I've ever been on. My adrenaline was almost nonexistent, so even walking short distances exhausted me to the point where I'd have to sit down. After I stopped eating vegetarian and started avoiding soy (as much as possible any way - that shit is in everything!) my hormones began to level out. So though it wouldn't be impossible for me to be a vegetarian, it would take more work than I'm inclined to.
So take serious care of what you're eating Paul. Good vegetarianism isn't just about avoiding meat but about intaking a conscious balance of the right amounts of nutrients. If nothing else- take a vegetarian vitamin supplement at least.
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A guy on NPR the other day talked about a study that found that people who ate a little meat a few times a week were just as healthy as vegetarians. Unfortunately the NPR website is stupid and I can't find the story right now.
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But soy is so delicious. I don't want to avoid it.
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I was talking to my Latin teacher, and we somehow ended up briefly touching on the subject of religion, and I realized... I am approaching 20 years old, and I have never read the Bible. So now my goal is to read both testaments in the next 5 months, which should certainly be doable. I will probably just go to a used book store and get whatever they have, but, is there any one translation/edition you folks prefer?
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The easiest to obtain will likely be the NIV.
The worst, is likely the LOLCat Version (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_1).
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Read the King James, because reading the bible should be as hard as possible. It makes baby Jebus happy when you don't understand.
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That might entail reading it in Latin with a priest hovering over you making sure you don't fall asleep.
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If you want to read it as Literature, read the King James.
If you want to read it for Religious Instruction and/or Spiritual Growth, try The Message. It's a modern-day translation from the original texts, and it's both thought-provoking and accessible. They even made some effort to make the Psalms rhyme and stuff like that. It's not a work of classical beauty like the KJV, but it's at least good writing.
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I'm not sure if this is the case where you live, but locally all used book and thrift stores give away any of the standard (i.e. without fancy illustrations or gold leaf, etc) versions away for free. The King James version is what both my catholic school and catholicism classes required. I tried to read the bible from beginning to end, but got really bored by the biblical lists and all the stuff.
Once in a textual analysis class back when I was studying English, one of my Jewish classmates showed me a fascinating version of the Torah (ie Genesis through Deuteronomy) where each page had the "original" translated text in the centre, with the earliest analysis in the first outer margin, the second earliest analysis and/or response to the previous analysis in the next margin, up to the most recent "accepted" discussion. It sort of looked like a rectangular version of the rings of a tree. I thought this was one of the most scholarly and interesting versions of the Bible I'd ever seen. I'm not sure of the specific name for this version of the Bible (because I grew up in a highly antisemitic church, I'm usually pretty embarrassed to ask questions about Judaism to people in the know because I'm terrified I'll say something ignorant and jerk-like) but it may be something that's pretty well known to anyone you know who's a practicing Jew.
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The worst, is likely the LOLCat Version (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_1).
Oh my Lord:
OK so liek if threads iz havin mildews /
or anyting iz havin mildewz /
and if mildewz iz greens or redz, den must be showed to priest of Ceiling Cat.
(Lev 13:47-49)
Jebus seed tehm sed "Oh hai, sup?" They sed "Oh hay Teachr, ware ur place?" /
Him sai ovr heer. So they chillt wit him an eated cheezburgrz.
Andrew was 1 those gais./
Andrew telled his brother Simon "Oh hai we found teh Messiah. He was behind teh sofa."
(John 1:38-42)
Is there a bot doing this?
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The bots are the ones who read it and find it hilarious.
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I'm not sure if this is the case where you live, but locally all used book and thrift stores give away any of the standard (i.e. without fancy illustrations or gold leaf, etc) versions away for free. The King James version is what both my catholic school and catholicism classes required. I tried to read the bible from beginning to end, but got really bored by the biblical lists and all the stuff.
Once in a textual analysis class back when I was studying English, one of my Jewish classmates showed me a fascinating version of the Torah (ie Genesis through Deuteronomy) where each page had the "original" translated text in the centre, with the earliest analysis in the first outer margin, the second earliest analysis and/or response to the previous analysis in the next margin, up to the most recent "accepted" discussion. It sort of looked like a rectangular version of the rings of a tree. I thought this was one of the most scholarly and interesting versions of the Bible I'd ever seen. I'm not sure of the specific name for this version of the Bible (because I grew up in a highly antisemitic church, I'm usually pretty embarrassed to ask questions about Judaism to people in the know because I'm terrified I'll say something ignorant and jerk-like) but it may be something that's pretty well known to anyone you know who's a practicing Jew.
I got as far as catholicism and bible and my brain shut down. Maybe it's different when one goes to catholic school, but I know that growing up my CCD classes never involved the bible, unless it we talked about that week's reading from church. The idea of reading the parts of the bible not covered in the missals seemed like it never really occurred to anybody. We'd talk about stuff like the ark and Goliath and whatnot but there were no actually passages or anything.
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When I was nine, I read the whole bible (NIV) front to back in ninety days on a bet. The bet was made with my pastor, who didn't think I'd finish. The prize: a stack of books.
I was...a deeply, deeply geeky kid.
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hm.
the version SS is talking about sounds soo familiar. I know there is a word for it that is on the tip of my tongue. I remember it from reading The Chosen, I think.
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hm.
the version SS is talking about sounds soo familiar. I know there is a word for it that is on the tip of my tongue. I remember it from reading The Chosen, I think.
There is a similar Christian bible called the Amplified bible. It is pretty great from what I hear.
Theinev, I'd start with the New Testament because it's shorter. I am a huuuuge fan of the updated, "modern" translations like the Message. I'd pick up one of the newfangled editions and breeze through that. Another option is to get a "The Bible in 1 year" books and just read the daily chunks out of that. There are also guides online that will direct you to read specific chunks (like the Anglican Daily Lectionary, which I really love) so that you cycle through the entire bible over a period of several years. I am not sure that reading it straight-through is the best idea. I that the Amplified bible would be better for study groups and other situations where you are studying only one small passage at a time, and you have other people reading it with you so that you can discuss it. That's how true understanding is formed, imho.
JL, did you just have to "read" it in order to get the prize, or actually demonstrate concepts or passages from the bible? Because I'm a fast reader, and I have actually read the entire Bible myself. I did not retain any of it because I just read it straight through. If there had been quizzes or mandatory written synopses of each book, I would have actually learned something.
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I'm not religious but I used to be and it always throws me a little when the Lady (who came up through an anglican school like I came up through a catholic one) doesn't get it when I throw out bible references. I don't put the same emphasis on those stories as a lot of people do but I think they are still worth knowing not only because they inform our society so much but because a lot of them are actually quite good stories and then when you get into the history surrounding the time they were written they get even more interesting.
Plus: Jesus curses the fig tree.
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My personal favorite is The Black Bible Chronicles (http://shipoffools.com/Cargo/Features98/Unauthorized/Bible1.html).
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hm.
the version SS is talking about sounds soo familiar. I know there is a word for it that is on the tip of my tongue. I remember it from reading The Chosen, I think.
Oh, I just remembered one of my best friends is an extremely scholarly fellow and also a Jew- I didn't think of him because he lives far away and I don't get to see him that often, but as it would happen he's in town and coming over with his lady tomorrow night. I'll try to remember to ask him.
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The lolcat Song of Solomon (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Song_of_Solomon_1) is pure fuck*ng comedy gold. This is awesome.
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If you're reading it as literature, the King James Version is indeed the way to go; if you want a good modern scholarly text, I'd recommend the New Jerusalem Bible. Being a Roman Catholic edition, it includes all the deuterocanonical books (the ones Roman Catholics consider to be part of the Bible, but Protestants don't) in the right places too - many of these are excellent and well worth reading. The Susanna and Bel and the Dragon chapters of the Book of Daniel are basically "Daniel, P.I.", and Maccabees has war elephants. If you don't go with a Catholic bible, there are also quite a few Protestant editions that will have them in a separate section, most likely between the Old and New Testaments, labelled "Apocrypha".
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You know, I went to the Lolcat Bible link and grooved on the Genesis 1. I thought that was the whole joke, as well it could have been.
But no. Somebody out there spends his time translating Habakkuk and 2 Timothy into Lolcat.
It is a seriously fucked up world.
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The Book of Revelation(s) is just comedy gold... I will read it two or three times a year, just as comical reading, and I never get tired of it. It just does not fail for easy laughs.
"The Exorcist" is to Beetlejuice as "Revelations" is to LFM.
Just keeps gettin' funnier.
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I have a 90 year old great uncle who visits once or twice a year and will sit in the guest bedroom and read the news paper or revelations, and it's normally revelations. The weird thing is he's never really evangelical about it, he's given us time life videos on noah's ark once or twice but nothing over the top, he's comfortable with this sinful little world. Though I think he was kind of disappointed when the world didn't end when he predicted it would (2004).
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I have a 90 year old great uncle who visits once or twice a year and will sit in the guest bedroom and read the news paper or revelations, and it's normally revelations. The weird thing is he's never really evangelical about it, he's given us time life videos on noah's ark once or twice but nothing over the top, he's comfortable with this sinful little world. Though I think he was kind of disappointed when the world didn't end when he predicted it would (2004).
So wait, every couple hundred days or so, this 90 year old man shows up to your house and just reads the last chapter of the bible to himself? If I live to be someones 90 year old relative, I need a routine like that to freak out the kids.
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I already know that mine will be being that lady who talks to strangers on the bus about personal things. That is my weird creepy eccentricity of the future.
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So wait, every couple hundred days or so, this 90 year old man shows up to your house and just reads the last chapter of the bible to himself? If I live to be someones 90 year old relative, I need a routine like that to freak out the kids.
Yeah that's pretty much it. Then he tells the same jokes over dinner. Often multiple times in the same night.
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I think that New Year's resolutions are too short-sighted. Intead we should all decide what's going to be our creepy eccentricity when we are old people. It's good to plan ahead, right?
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JL, did you just have to "read" it in order to get the prize, or actually demonstrate concepts or passages from the bible? Because I'm a fast reader, and I have actually read the entire Bible myself. I did not retain any of it because I just read it straight through. If there had been quizzes or mandatory written synopses of each book, I would have actually learned something.
I just had to read it, but my parents sort of looked over my shoulder to make sure I wasn't skipping the begats. I've forgotten large portions of what I once knew, but I'm still pretty well-versed (NPI), all things considered.
I think that New Year's resolutions are too short-sighted. Intead we should all decide what's going to be our creepy eccentricity when we are old people. It's good to plan ahead, right?
Womb@ does it again. I love this idea.
My gramma was the lady who talks to strangers about personal things. It's one of the more endearing old-person eccentricities, I think.
I'm going to be the crazy old person who lies to children about what things used to be like. Like Grampa Simpson, but on purpose.
"Back before the internet, we had to send messages the old-fashioned way...with pigeons! PMs, we called them, for Pigeon Messaging. Every family had at least one pigeon, most times two -- one for each parent, in case of an emergency. Why, when your father was born, we sent a pigeon ahead of us to the hospital with the registration forms, and other to my mother to tell her to meet us there. Except the pigeons went to the wrong places, and the hospital never got our forms! When the errant pigeons finally did come home, we had some fine roast squab for dinner. It was the first meat we'd had in ages, after the Mad Cow and the Bird Flu wiped out most of the domestic beef and chicken populations..."
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I always figured I'd just buy liquour in brown paper bags wear rumpled suits and sit on the back seat of a bus in vaguely lewd positions.
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I always figured I'd just buy liquour in brown paper bags wear rumpled suits and sit on the back seat of a bus in vaguely lewd positions.
Can'd for making me imagine what a "vaguely lewd position" looks like.
it looks like comic gold
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You know, I went to the Lolcat Bible link and grooved on the Genesis 1. I thought that was the whole joke, as well it could have been.
But no. Somebody out there spends his time translating Habakkuk and 2 Timothy into Lolcat.
It is a seriously fucked up world.
Well, admittedly, mine is not... your usual ministry. I'd like to think that God speaks to everyone in his own way. Everyone can haz his love. Everyone can haz.
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That quote from reverend lolcat makes me believe that LOLcat bible is a serious endeavor. That is terrifying.
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http://www.slate.com/id/2179370
Economics.
Also, first response, which I think is a great idea:
This kind of "punishment" for not doing 200 push-ups is interesting, but you haven't taken it far enough. After all, by doing your 200 push-ups (a good thing for you), you are also taking away $100 from what you have described as a "hugely deserving charity." ("Whew, glad they didn't get my money this week.") Conversely, if you slack off, you get a feeling of undeserved charity for having NOT done your push-ups. ("Not doing my push-ups was my chance to make sure I made a solid donation to a favorite charity during the holiday season.") If you really want to motivate yourself, the object of your charity should be an organization you DON'T approve of. E.g., if you're a Democrat, have them send your money to the national Republican Party if you fall short on your push-ups. ("I sure don't want those bastards to get my money.") Then, having done your push-ups, you can take the money you haven't sent to the RNC and give it to your own favorite charity instead.
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http://www.slate.com/id/2179370
Economics.
Economics can make everyone a better person. Economics for everyone, prison for some!
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This whole new years resolution to stop biting my nails thing is working out a little too well. I just had to use a nail clipper for the first time in probably over a decade. I felt like I was trying to give myself a fuck*ng haircut. Luckily, though, I made it through with all my fingers still firmly attached to my hands -- and not a drop of blood in sight! So that's good.
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Hey, good job Melack. Just think how terrifying it must be to trim a newborn baby's nails. That shit scares me.
My plan for better oral hygiene is working out pretty good too. I'm still using the traditional brush. My gums don't seem to bleed when I brush now, which is good. I still sort of want that fancy tooth brush though. I do worry about brushing technique - how do I know if I'm brushing too hard? Do I need to spend a $100 on an electronic brush that will tell me this? If a tooth brush gives advice on tooth brushing, why can't it give some life advice too? Like, you know, when you finish up and the time is up it just gives you a simple suggestion for the day: drink 8 glasses of water, hug someone who needs it, don't use the public washroom at the park, etc. Just a little nugget of helpfullness with the rest of your day. If it did this I would be much more into spending so much money on it.
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good morning, MELANIE
Your word of the day is
oralingus, n
means
kissing with the mouth
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I don't know if I'm keeping my New Year's resolutions, because I've already forgotten what they are.
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Hey, good job Melack. Just think how terrifying it must be to trim a newborn baby's nails. That shit scares me.
My plan for better oral hygiene is working out pretty good too. I'm still using the traditional brush. My gums don't seem to bleed when I brush now, which is good. I still sort of want that fancy tooth brush though. I do worry about brushing technique - how do I know if I'm brushing too hard? Do I need to spend a $100 on an electronic brush that will tell me this? If a tooth brush gives advice on tooth brushing, why can't it give some life advice too? Like, you know, when you finish up and the time is up it just gives you a simple suggestion for the day: drink 8 glasses of water, hug someone who needs it, don't use the public washroom at the park, etc. Just a little nugget of helpfullness with the rest of your day. If it did this I would be much more into spending so much money on it.
I got one of the Oral-B Sonicare toothbrushes about 2 years ago, and I'm extremely pleased with it. I highly recommend them.
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I got one of the Oral-B Sonicare toothbrushes about 2 years ago, and I'm extremely pleased with it. I highly recommend them.
What does your dentist think of the results?
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What does your dentist think of the results?
I literally have zero plaque/tartar in my mouth. They are always amazed when they look in my mouth. Even the far back molars, which I brush really carefully, have zero plaque. For some reason I seem to get it on my front lower teeth, but that's about it. I LOVE IT. I do not have any enamel damage, either.
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Hmmm. Tempting. Since we're all living longer these days, I'm trying to figure out how to keep my teeth. So far, so good - but my dentist is always tsking over the sides of my molars near the hinge in my jaw. I've got all 32 teeth at this point, and relatively few fillings (always have lived with either naturally fluoridated or city fluoridated water). My only other real problem is I hate flossing. I've actually been much better since I had my kid. All being a good role model.
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Damn Russians trying to help with cavities.
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In Soviet Russia, cavities something-something YOU.
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I'm down to 172.2 from 180 about a week and a half ago.
Apparently eating breakfast every day, drinking lots of water, and not having french fries for lunch every day helps. Who knew?
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I'm down to 172.2 from 180 about a week and a half ago.
Apparently eating breakfast every day, drinking lots of water, and not having french fries for lunch every day helps. Who knew?
That was my diet in high school and it was thinnest time of my life.
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Well, obviously I was doing something wrong. Tell me: How do I get the metabolism of a 16 year old high school boy, because the metabolism of a 31 year old desk jocky just isn't working for me.
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Hmmm. Tempting. Since we're all living longer these days, I'm trying to figure out how to keep my teeth. So far, so good - but my dentist is always tsking over the sides of my molars near the hinge in my jaw. I've got all 32 teeth at this point, and relatively few fillings (always have lived with either naturally fluoridated or city fluoridated water). My only other real problem is I hate flossing. I've actually been much better since I had my kid. All being a good role model.
Good for you. I hate flossing as well, but I'm fanatical about it because my mom had to have $20,000 worth of periodontal surgery on her gums to try and repair some of the damage that smoking for 30 years and not flossing had wreaked. It was pretty disgusting. I floss and use Biotene every single night, whether I want to or not. Despite my ridiculously meticulous oral hygiene, I was taking medication that gave me really dry mouth, and in 2006 I got an infected parotid gland. God, it was SOOOO painful and so disgusting. I had to have IV and oral antibiotics for that shit. Had I not been as good with the oral hygiene, I could have had recurrent parotitis. Yuck.
Anyway, when you brush, try closing your mouth slightly when you try to reach your back teeth. If you open too wide, your jaw muscles will prevent you from brushing as far back as you might otherwise. I have a really small mouth and it's hard to reach my back teeth. My mouth is so small that my wisdom teeth had to be extracted by an oral surgeon when I was 22, and none of them had erupted yet because there was no room for them to come up. In order to brush at the very back of my mouth, I have to close my mouth and relax my jaw so that I can angle the toothbrush back there.
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Wait, I've finally figured out what my resolutions should be.
1. Try to learn to fall asleep without listening to NPR.
2. Refuse to get caught up in the pug hysteria first thing in the morning. If they want to run downstairs like lunatics, fine, it's probably not because they're in a hurry to pee.
I'll try to floss more often, too.
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2. Refuse to get caught up in the pug hysteria first thing in the morning. If they want to run downstairs like lunatics, fine, it's probably not because they're in a hurry to pee.
The idea of "pug hysteria" as a concept is just too cute. Getting caught up in it, or not... it pretty fantastic also. Canned
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The idea of "pug hysteria" as a concept is just too cute. Getting caught up in it, or not... it pretty fantastic also. Canned
Hells and damn yes.