The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => People & Places => Topic started by: Golfhaus on March 05, 2008, 02:47:46 am
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I have a nasty habit of developing Inev-like crushes on chicks in commercials... and I've long considered that if I ever get my website back in business, I would have a section called "The Anonymous Hottie of the Indeterminate Time Period," where I could act like a 14 year old girl gushing over Justin Timberlake when discussing cute women in television ads who I've never seen before, and will probably never see again.
The first candidate was a girl from a set of recentish McDonald's Monopoly commercials, who revealed that she planned to win big using "my Egg McMuffin strategy. It involves eggs... and McMuffins." Sadly, this commercial doesn't run anymore, and not even YouTube seems to have recorded it for posterity.
So her indeterminate time period has come to an end. Long may her successor reign... the redhead in the purple shirt in this commercial (http://youtube.com/watch?v=r2y_GwKzxck).
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dude, it's not a nasty habit. it's AWESOME.
I was just telling someone the other day how much I like random girls in commercials.
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Really it's complimentary, it's showing that they are doing their job correctly in causing your hottie-seeking instincts to override logic.
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dude, I fuck*ng hate that Dunkin Donuts commercial.
The girl I'm digging on is the one in these ads lately for... some Department Store? Maybe Sears? JC Penny? It's a bunch of people doing American things, and this one girl is roller-skating, she's adorable. I think she has an afro?
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I'm wondering when IMDB will have a listing for the woman currently starring as Perky Cashier in the Progressive insurance commercials. Without a name to go with the face, my fansite domain registration is holding up production.
EDIT: Or I could ask Google and learn it in a hurry. (http://imdb.com/name/nm0183960/)
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Similarly, I had a big-time woman-crush on The Chick From The Glad Bag Commercials (http://imdb.com/name/nm0005025/). I used to say that we'd be seeing her again, that she had a good camera presence and would land a bigger role someday.
Sure enough, she's the girl who replaced Sherona on Monk.
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I will give a dollar to the first person who can tell me the name of the sultry redhead in the New Pornographers "The Laws Have Changed" video (http://New Pornographers "The Laws Have Changed" video).
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weird. I don't know who that is. I am going to see that band with my little brother in April.
They actually do not do that much for me, and certainly not enough to justify that I just spend 60 damn dollars on tickets for the two of us. He'll pay me back for his, but, damn, that is some dough to see a band I don't particularly like.
But, you know, he's at a point in his life. He needs to do things with people or he will just turn into a little machine that does math problems and plays basketball and ignores my parents, all of these incredibly well.
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weird. I don't know who that is. I am going to see that band with my little brother in April.
They actually do not do that much for me, and certainly not enough to justify that I just spend 60 damn dollars on tickets for the two of us. He'll pay me back for his, but, damn, that is some dough to see a band I don't particularly like.
But, you know, he's at a point in his life. He needs to do things with people or he will just turn into a little machine that does math problems and plays basketball and ignores my parents, all of these incredibly well.
I gotta say, not the best choice. The NPs are (according to last.fm) my 2nd favorite band and I skipped their current tour. As wombat has said part of their appeal is how slick their recordings sound, which is of course lost at a live performance. Plus they tend to mumble their banter.
The fact that I don't like what I've heard of the opening act, Okkervil River, sealed the deal. Last tour Emma Pollack opened and she was awesome.
But hey, the stage-left keyboard player is pretty cute. And her other band, Imperial Teen, is worth a listen.
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For a while, I was definitely torn on whether it was a good or a bad thing that I haven't had any idea of who the "new" bands were... basically since I graduated college. That while is over, I think.
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post 5000:
They aren't that new. sorry.
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post 5000:
They aren't that new. sorry.
But they have the word "new" in their name!
Man, I'm torn. The Dunkin' Donuts commercial is still on, but the "Hola!" chick from that Taco Bell commercial is there... crisis in the Hottie House!
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DISCONNECTED RAMBLING ABOUT THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS
I'm listening to "Challengers" right now; it is a pretty good album, but it is a little slower than their other stuff. It makes me rather glad I saw them in Boston in October, since I think I like a lot of the songs better having heard them in a high-energy setting.
In retrospect, I'm a little ambivalent about that concert. I agree with Cort that, in hindsight, the "this is interrupting my drinking time!" attitude from Bejar was palpable. On the other hand, I kind of liked them live and jangly; it was an interesting alternate perspective on music I find interesting and dense.
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In retrospect, I'm a little ambivalent about that concert. I agree with Cort that, in hindsight, the "this is interrupting my drinking time!" attitude from Bejar was palpable. On the other hand, I kind of liked them live and jangly; it was an interesting alternate perspective on music I find interesting and dense.
Bejar drives me nuts. His songs are always the ones I like least, and both times I've seen them live Carl and Neko practically had to beg him to come out and actually sing a song. During the encores he was even more stubborn.
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Bejar drives me nuts. His songs are always the ones I like least, and both times I've seen them live Carl and Neko practically had to beg him to come out and actually sing a song. During the encores he was even more stubborn.
Dan Bejar lives on Drinking Island.
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DISCONNECTED RAMBLING ABOUT THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS
I don't seem to be getting into the new album. The previous two I listened to over and over and over. This one - I remember once in a while that maybe I ought to try listening to it again and then half the time don't.
I don't think this is just because it has a new Bruce Springsteen to compete with. But I guess I ought to try listening to it again...
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Agree with the comments on Bejar's material--he's got a couple good songs over the course of their four albums, but I skip over his tracks more often than not. I wonder if you polled the entire NewPornos fan base, if that's a majority opinion.
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Agree with the comments on Bejar's material--he's got a couple good songs over the course of their four albums, but I skip over his tracks more often than not. I wonder if you polled the entire NewPornos fan base, if that's a majority opinion.
I doubt it. I know a few people who love the two Jackie songs. And his band Destroyer seems to have a pretty decent following. I find his songs sort of boring.
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I doubt it. I know a few people who love the two Jackie songs. And his band Destroyer seems to have a pretty decent following. I find his songs sort of boring.
I found his songs sort of boring until I saw the New Pornographers live and realized that he sings his songs live even more off-key than in the studio, and with beer in hand. To realize that so little effort goes into them somehow improves them.
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To realize that so little effort goes into them somehow improves them.
I hope your appreciation of this tiny can is increased by the knowledge that I didn't have to work very hard to give it to you.
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And his band Destroyer seems to have a pretty decent following. I find his songs sort of boring.
Oh, jeez, I knew that and then forgot it.
Right before posting here, I had been holding that CD in my hand, and I put it in the CD player, and then decided that it was not worth reviewing, as it sounded completely boring.
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I, um, really like the Jackie songs, although "... Dressed In Cobras" more than the original. And I've liked the bits of Destroyer I've heard.
Really, I think I just like anything the NPs put out, although suddenly for some reason my laptop is no longer playing Challengers on request. Is it trying to tell me I have bad taste?
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Passing fad? No sir!
The protagonist of this gem (http://youtube.com/watch?v=1LLLPVtXz2U) is the new AHotITP.
I am not talking about the dude.
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Passing fad? No sir!
The protagonist of this gem (http://youtube.com/watch?v=1LLLPVtXz2U) is the new AHotITP.
I am not talking about the dude.
I am! Hello, Captain Jack-Hammer!
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She just couldn't look away.
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Thank God for the Internet. Now I don't have to watch TV to see the good commercials.
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For your viewing pleasure... or at least mine... the new AHotITP... this chick (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZrT4EgXw3Gk). I think it's because of the way she says "pitchers" instead of "pictures." You don't see that in commercials.
I'm trying to make "You big dummy!" one of my little sayings around the office. You have no idea how hard it is to establish something like that without pissing off the people you work with.
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Similarly, I had a big-time woman-crush on The Chick From The Glad Bag Commercials (http://imdb.com/name/nm0005025/). I used to say that we'd be seeing her again, that she had a good camera presence and would land a bigger role someday.
Sure enough, she's the girl who replaced Sherona on Monk.
What year was the glad commercial? Because this chick was on that show 2 Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place with that guy that was in Van Wilder back in 1998...which, I'm sad to say, I actually remember and did not look up because she was adorable on that show, but her character on Monk, though better than Sharona's, not so appealing to me.
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I think the Glad bag commercials were post-2 Guys but they were definitely pre-Monk.
I did like Sharona better on the show, but I'm just glad that Glad Girl got a decent job.
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That Tom Bosley is hot.
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That Tom Bosley is hot.
Yeah, but my knees go weak when Wilfred Brimley says "Diabeetus"
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"So Golfhaus, are you still drooling over the Michael Phelps chick?"
Yes. Yes I am. But now I like the woman in this commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWPwrIVk6v4), too. Is it because she likes sports? It is because my job is soul-crushing too? Possibly. It could just be that I like ponytails.
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"So Golfhaus, are you still drooling over the Michael Phelps chick?"
Yes. Yes I am. But now I like the woman in this commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWPwrIVk6v4), too. Is it because she likes sports? It is because my job is soul-crushing too? Possibly. It could just be that I like ponytails.
Now my job is way less soul-crushing.
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Now my job is way less soul-crushing.
I go back and forth between that and "Live sports at work? That's MUCH better than work at work!" as my new catch-phrase. I like the other one better, though, I think, because she says it.
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. It could just be that I like ponytails.
even in cubicles?
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holy shit ark
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It's Ark from out of NOWHERE!
How the hell are you dude?
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Why do girls do the thing where they make a ponytail, and then fold it back on itself so that the hair sticks out in all kinds of directions?
As a person who pays too much attention to hair, it always bothers me watching that happen.
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I used to be teased for having a "peacock butt" hairdo. Now I have long hair again and still often do a variation of this, but it's more peacock-like as I've adopted random colors resembling bright plummage. but this isn't middle school so no one seems to care.
my b/f has told me a few times that he won't put his growing hair in a ponytail because the only types that do that are "douchbags" but he's perfectly fine with a top knot. which is cool 'cause i think it's real sexy. but dudes don't be afraid to worry about your long hair and to gather it in some organized fashion. the ladies will only want to get their hands on it even more!
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As long as a lady doesn't have a beehive style, I'm cool. The fact that it resurrected zombie-like to terrify us once again is no excuse to have one. A stake should be driven through its heart and it should be allowed to die a (second) natural death.
The hotness: Pixie cut.
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OK yeah, that pixie thing is one that can stick around.
As far as guys hair...my wife shaves my head so I have no opinion hair.
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Getting back to hotties, Kari Byron is pregnant. Which is sad both for her hotness over the next few months and because it means she'll be doing less insane things on Mythbusters.
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But...I was supposed to get her pregnant. And we would have beautiful daredevil science babies together. Curses!
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Huh, I thought she was my secret crush.
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She's every nerds crush but I don't think there's anything secret about it.
Actually I found her to be annoying after a while but I think that's just a self protective mechanism because I know I shall never have her. Alas. I also think Tory gets annoying on that show so let's stop reading into things.
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Actually, from some of the comments I've seen in other places her appeal goes beyond the nerd demographic and into, at least, the middle America based outdoorsman type.
She's casting a wide net, is all. Exploding stuff and science will do that, I've heard.
Macho women with guns. Always a hit with the orange camo vest crowd.
(http://www.fotolode.com/thumbs/jaydub/machowomenwithguns.jpg)
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A search through the first few pages of images yields almost no nudity, so is it like weed porn (which, by the way, if you search for, yields a fair amount of nudity) in magazines like High Times?
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Getting back to hotties, Kari Byron is pregnant. Which is sad both for her hotness over the next few months and because it means she'll be doing less insane things on Mythbusters.
That's the worst news I've heard since Scarlett Johansson got married!
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shg1WlCQFr4 -babes using power tools. i dont even know what theyre trying to sell, but i was looking for my checkbook.
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I dunno, I'd be a lot more attracted to a normal-good-looking woman who actually knew what she was doing with that stuff... maybe just in flatteringly-tightish work clothes... than I am to all those fake ladies with fake bodies pretending to know what to do with them. Skanky fashion models, what the hell are you supposed to do with them after sex? Try to pretend that you know something about American Idol so that you can have a goddamned conversation?
I mean.
I guess I don't even need to turn thirty in August. I was just born old.
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I dunno, I'd be a lot more attracted to a normal-good-looking woman who actually knew what she was doing with that stuff... maybe just in flatteringly-tightish work clothes... than I am to all those fake ladies with fake bodies pretending to know what to do with them. Skanky fashion models, what the hell are you supposed to do with them after sex? Try to pretend that you know something about American Idol so that you can have a goddamned conversation?
I mean.
I guess I don't even need to turn thirty in August. I was just born old.
im into more (mentally, physically)substantial women, as well. i just appreciate the jiggling, in a visual way.
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this reminds me of a conversation I had with my dad about how my brother is "judgmental" for picking girls to date based on intelligence.
Which is an interesting perspective.
(also, they often have large breasts, but that was not mentioned.)
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everyone judges things all the time. you judge whether to run a red light, or apply the brake, at an intersection. you know? crap like that...
when it comes to people: who should we spend our time with/on? whose happiness should we put our efforts towards? all personal questions. different people value different qualities. the way we relate to others is as varied as we are.
i dont know why i got all philosophical, but what im really trying to get at: if your brother doesnt use his intelligence standards for potential dates as a reason to think less of the women he doesnt find appealing, then your dad is probably overrreacting.
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Looks like Professor Toaster is going to teach a class on math and sexiness. So, sexy math (my favorite kind).
Rate your own physical attractiveness from 0 to 100 (I'm not speaking to anyone in particular here, I'm using the proverbial "you"). Now rate your intelligence from zero to 100. Do the same for a potential mate. Now subtract your attractiveness number from their attractivness number, and subtract your intelligence from their intelligence.
Now let's graph this shit.
Let us have an abscissa (x-axis) that represents physical attractiveness. Now let us have an ordinate (y-axis) that represents intelligence. Let the origin (0,0) represent the value of your own attractiveness and intelligence. Now plot a point at the co-ordinates where your person's score should be.
(x,y) = (AttractivenessYours - AttractivenessTheirs, IntelligenceYours - IntelligenceTheirs)
Remember that in the Cartesian system, quadrants are numbered counter-clockwise starting with (+,+). Also keep in mind that almost no-one is exactly as hot and as smart as you, so almost everyone is going into one of the four quadrants. It will be up to you to judge how far out is still compatible. 5? 25? 50? It's up to you. (Remember Pythagoras' Theorem, sexy mathematicians!)
If your potential mate is too far into Quadrant I, you are only going to do them a disservice. You might be happy, but they never will. Please let them go so they can find someone better.
If your potential mate is too far into Quadrant IV, then yes you might have a chance, but they will drive you batshit insane and you will probably hit them. You are a terrible person.
If your potential mate is too far into Quadrant III, then you clearly have emotional problems and you are being taken advantage of.
If your potential mate is too far into Quadrant II, then sit quietly and don't look a gift hoss in the mouth. Unless they hit you. Then you should leave.
Here's the thing (In two parts):
(1) Most people want someone very far in Q I. Stop this. It's creepy, and no one likes to see it.
(2) But most people ultimately end up settling for someone in Qs II - IV. They do this because they have been beat down by life and have no hope, and so they compromise (yuck) because they believe that someone who is in their range does not exist. This is one of many reasons why people suck. Because they are just as bad as the people in example 1, but in the opposite direction.
I guess what I'm saying is that I do not like compromise. Sorry about the rant!
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I used to be really into the Orbit gum ("For a good clean feeling") spokeslady.
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zooey deschanel
(http://woodchipped.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/zooey-deschanel2.jpg)
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Cute sissies
(http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_CaFoH8AHXI8/SZa6rowVwzI/AAAAAAAAADU/o5ThbrFlS6k/s1600/Emily%2BDeschanel%2Be%2BZooey%2BDeschanel.bmp)
Emily and Zooey D.
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I dunno... a little too much of the fake-innocent-schoolgirl thing for me.
Conceit turns a dude off, I guess.
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I dunno... a little too much of the fake-innocent-schoolgirl thing for me.
Conceit turns a dude off, I guess.
I used to be so into this. It is funny how you posted this right when I was thinking about posting something about this, which disappeared off into wherever unmade posts go.
I like her album of motown-y songs.
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http://zooeydeschanel.tumblr.com/
This tumblr isn't mine, I swear.
Unmade posts to go Limbo. I read about it in Final Crisis.
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I dunno... a little too much of the fake-innocent-schoolgirl thing for me.
Conceit turns a dude off, I guess.
im just a sucker for the combination of dark hair and light-colored/frosty eyes.
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I am bothered by how into Juno Temple I am based on her combination of "doesn't know what the fuck is going on" and "really attractive" (and weird, messy hair) in Year One.
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I am bothered by how into Juno Temple I am based on her combination of "doesn't know what the fuck is going on" and "really attractive" (and weird, messy hair) in Year One.
sometimes a soul boner(or mental boner, if you prefer) translates into a physical boner. other times, your soul is otherwise occupied and its because of titties.
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Typical: ends up she is the child of two rock-music-documentary makers.
I am destined to follow the path of "the guy who reads about rock music more than he listens to it."
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I got it bad for Samantha Brown from the Travel Channel.
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Uh.... who DOESN'T, Turb?
Seriously.
I just assumed that every human alive past the age of sexual awakening had the hots for her.
Perky librarian type. Excellent.
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Yeah, I guess she isn't so "anonymous" given that she's on TV several hours a week as opposed to popping up in a commercial here or there and I shouldn't be surprised that I'm not the only one who digs.
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(http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs135.snc1/5773_122096051078_541686078_2882251_5080576_n.jpg)
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I would.
I SINCERELY HOPE NO WOMEN WERE OFFENDED BY THE OBJECTIFYING NATURE OF THIS POST.
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'that Nigella?
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I don't know who that is, but can someone get her to burn that dress? Yuck.
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I find myself agreeink with you here (well I really don't care what happens to the dress, but, you know...)
I miss Vlad.
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Whoever she is, I don't forsee any boudoir evictions on the basis of cracker-based infractions.
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Cracker Infraction would be a very nice band name, if you wouldn't always get filed next to, and mistaken for a Cracker album named Infraction.
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'that Nigella?
long story:
http://www.facebook.com/notes.php?ref=sb#/note.php?note_id=116463443472 (http://www.facebook.com/notes.php?ref=sb#/note.php?note_id=116463443472)
also, no, but here you go:
(http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-photos/nigella-lawson-the-golden-age-of-couture-vip-gala-departures-08MuNs.jpg)
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I feel like the high waist and full skirt obscure her figure. What is with that? Own it. Own your figure.
at the same time, I am 100% for big flowy dresses/skirts.
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I feel like the high waist and full skirt obscure her figure. What is with that? Own it. Own your figure.
at the same time, I am 100% for big flowy dresses/skirts.
according to what little i know of womens fashion, the idea of the high waste/flowiness is to make her hips and midsection appear smaller. i dont think she is insecure, i think shes just showing of the dress because thats what she paid to do. knawmean?
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There is something wonderfully... democratic about a lady of that kind of build.
A lusty kind of strength to shoulders and hips like that.
The ability to absorb and mete out energy equally, you know, for democratically exhausting sexy-times.
Something to be said for a Lady of Substance.
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Amen to that.
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Something to be said for a Lady of Substance.
Damn Straight.
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Whoever she is, I don't forsee any boudoir evictions on the basis of cracker-based infractions.
The punchline to that gag is to say "Right, Crackers?" while looking down at your junk.
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uhhhhh.... were all in agreement. now what?
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now what is her name? let her not remain anonymous, that we may go ogle her!
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I guess the "now what?" is to share the existence of a lady you're heavily attracted to that's more divisive?
And then, hopefully, debate ensues?
I dunno, though. The people in these parts tend to have a broad appreciation for... broad appreciation.
Unless you're lying or pretending just to start a false debate, most of the guys and a few of the girls will probably chime in to agree.
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whatever smets
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here's a debate.
luscious curves, or manageable curves?
Sometimes the curves are too much. Do you know what I mean?
Like, my optimum curves are "a handful," I think.
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Yeah, you want a serviceable amount of curves. I've got a friend who believes that the ideal rudeness of titties equates roughly to the size of the lady's head but frankly that titty is too rude for me, I need a titty of manageable size.
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Yeah, you want a serviceable amount of curves. I've got a friend who believes that the ideal rudeness of titties equates roughly to the size of the lady's head but frankly that titty is too rude for me, I need a titty of manageable size.
You don't want rude turning into mean, d'you know what I mean? Mm-hmm.
If there is such a thing as too rude of a set of titties, is there such a thing as "too polite"? I say yes.
Also this got me thinking, can fake titties even be rude? I'm thinkin' no. Not that I don't like fake titties, but it is clear that rudeness is not in their repertoire. Thoughts?
I knew a girl in High School with rude titties. We were friends, but we could have been better friends, and I mean that both ways.
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I guess the "now what?" is to share the existence of a lady you're heavily attracted to that's more divisive?
And then, hopefully, debate ensues?
I dunno, though. The people in these parts tend to have a broad appreciation for... broad appreciation.
Unless you're lying or pretending just to start a false debate, most of the guys and a few of the girls will probably chime in to agree.
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
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The internet is good for nothing if you cannot find pictures of Amy de Lucia (http://www.plainkate.com/prod12-else.html) in it (She was "Bobbi" in Supertroopers). Back in the day when I would get these so-called "crushes", she made a deep impression on me. Something to do with big eyes, maybe, big enough to make little folds underneath them, giving her a perennial look of having just woken* up...
* - I screwed up the conjugation of this verb, didn't I? Can't figure it out for the life of me...
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"Having just awakened" - but that's just being pedantic. Its a hell of an irregular construction. Many English speakers would have said it the same.
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here's a debate.
luscious curves, or manageable curves?
Sometimes the curves are too much. Do you know what I mean?
Like, my optimum curves are "a handful," I think.
i tend to judge appearance on a case-by-case basis, but there is such a thing as too much substance.
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"Having just awakened" - but that's just being pedantic. Its a hell of an irregular construction. Many English speakers would have said it the same.
Hey, no fair teaching the foreigners to speak in an elaborately "correct" old-fashioned, unnatural way. Don't you hate it when you're learning a language and they do that to you?
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Hey, no fair teaching the foreigners to speak in an elaborately "correct" old-fashioned, unnatural way. Don't you hate it when you're learning a language and they do that to you?
B-but I like elaborately "correct", old-fashioned, unnatural ways...