The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: wombat on May 05, 2008, 12:41:32 pm
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"In a time of murder, prostitution, hard liquor, and the foods that stood up to it."
That Nice Pete can turn a phrase, sometimes, when he's not busy killing people.
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"In a time of murder, prostitution, hard liquor, and the foods that stood up to it."
That Nice Pete can turn a phrase, sometimes, when he's not busy killing people.
Maybe he's like an action movie character and is even better at turning phrases while killing people.
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I did not ask for the free fresh-sliced onions, because I did not want to cool down the sandwich with vegetables.
This is how I think.
It was served open-faced, and I allowed for a squirt of pink-colored "chili" mayonnaise. I am glad that I did. The sandwich bites came alive and sang once inside my lips. I ate and ate, the pleasure of each mouthful growing like a fire inside me. Saliva squirted inside my mouth with abandon, like a car wash. That sandwich was literally treated to a car wash inside my mouth...
YES!
YES!
I can handle some inchezz in mah tite little bo-day.
Whoa.
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The other day I drove through Arby's on my way to get P from school because it was 2 PM and I hadn't had a chance to eat yet. I don't go to Arby's much so I don't knoe their menu well, but I wanted something different. I ordered the Chicken Bacon Swiss sandwich with no bacon. When I got my food, I realized it also had some sort of sauce on it. I took a bite anyway, because I was ravenous, and realized it was some kind of honey dijon sauce. Had I known, I would have ordered it sans sauce, but thanks to this oversight I came to the realization that, despite having a near-morbid fear of most mustard, I actually really, really like honey dijon.
Like, a lot.
Weird.
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I also hate mustard to hell unless preceded by the word "honey." Yellow mustard is especially bad. It's probably what Satan's jizz tastes like.
Of course I have a bottle in the fridge at home because I need it to make sloppy joe mix.
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I have no less than four varieties of mustard in my fridge right now.
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I have no less than four varieties of mustard in my fridge right now.
To my daughter's dismay, I do as well, yet none of them are simple, yellow French's. So I might as well have had none. A plain1 cheese and turkey sandwich for her today!
1Hopefully CPS won't come knocking
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I like me some mustard, but my brother was a fiend in his youth. Dude would put mustard on his oatmeal.
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Another glimpse of Pete's psyche - his illustration is mostly flat, but there is considerable shading and pen-pressure around G.Quizno's package.
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I wonder if Nice Pete's drawing was also done in Onstad's favorite watering hole (see the description on the newest eBay auction) and if so, what a stranger would think of an odd looking fellow furiously shading a bulging cartoon cat's package while gulping down scotch.
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I'm sorry Ray, but wine is boring, too. Not as boring as French history but all that "bouquet" and "nose" and "costs more than $10 a bottle" stuff just puts me right to sleep.
http://raysmuckles.blogspot.com/2008/05/im-sorry.html
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"Dry/wet".
Best. Wine. Review. EVAR!
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"Ketel One - My idea" made me laugh out loud
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http://corneliusbear.blogspot.com/2008/05/working-old-soil.html
I don't know about you but I'm going to have the theme song for Unfortunately Todd stuck in my head all day.
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It sounds a lot like the theme from "Maude."
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I like me some mustard, but my brother was a fiend in his youth. Dude would put mustard on his oatmeal.
I'd like to see a regular feature where Nice Pete reviews chain restaurant condiments.
"Arby's Horsey Sauce: I allow one molecule alone of this factoried garnish to reach the back of my throat. My mind awakens to memories that are not my own. I see a scab covered man roasting a small reptile over a can of Sterno. He takes a bite. I taste a mouthful of charred scales. It is the future I am tasting. That is where Arby's pimple discharge belongs: on the burnt skin of a radioactive skink being eaten by humanity's last son. Not now, not in my mouth. I will not speak for the rest of the day, until I know the particle is gone and not secretly influencing my words.
"Next week: Taco Bell's Border Sauce ("Fire" variety): a flock of lying bats wearing clown wigs."
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DeathRay, that was obscenely awesome.
How would Nice Pete describe the flavour of a tiny can of Dr. Pepper?
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I like hossy Sauce.
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Me, too. But somehow, I think NP wouldn't.
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DeathRay, that was obscenely awesome.
How would Nice Pete describe the flavour of a tiny can of Dr. Pepper?
"A wolf, salivating over the scent of a lamb he has just felled, hearing the worthless bleats of the mother who should have willed that her issue develop the traits of swift escape before it had quickened in her belly...that wolf sinks his teeth into fresh blood and warm flesh, and Dr. Pepper is what he tastes. It is a can of Thor's tears."
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*weeps*
In a good way.
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http://philippesblog.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-am-learning-about-hobos.html
I already learned everything there is to know about hobos from John Hodgeman's book, thankyouverymuch.
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But that is a book for grownups and Phillippe is five.
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Already he knows that karate is the proper response to being flipped off.
Kids grow up so fast these days.