The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Arachno-capitalist on May 29, 2008, 08:53:56 pm
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http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=05292008 (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=05292008)
I have a mind where I have a hard time digging on pomp and superfluous things at otherwise events. Check it- a marriage occurs when the certificate is in my hand. Everything that happens before, or after that transfer of document is superfluous. Why the dress? Why are we dancing the funky chicken and spending hundreds of dollars on pigs in a blanket. Why is it such a big deal when we walk down the aisle? My mind doesnt work like that, I dont get it.
Same thing goes with graduation. A dude graduates from college when the registrar says so and the president signs a document. Thats it. end of story. Why is graduation dragged out over an entire fuck*ng week? Give me a break.
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That magazine is the best idea ever. I want to write for that magazine.
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Arachno-capitalist, you are a low type of dude that would post a bare link with no thoughts about the strip. There is more to life than "firsts." I thought we all knew about this.
I only know of three safe places to toss your biscuits in a church, but maybe that is because I was bright up Methodist. Maybe Greek Orthodox churches have better hidey-holes.
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Youre just jealous you didnt get firsts.
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Two in a row... Onstad's bringin' the sack!
"Any cake is a wedding cake if you call it that." Now THOSE are words to live by. That's the kind of advice that you can use long after rings have been exchanged and your best friend has pissed off her sister.
Also, in the mess-with-A-Cap department: Prision? Don't sacrifice accuracy for speed, dude. Is so crass.
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I just today got an e-mail from a friend wherein she was needling me to marry my girlfriend so that she can dress up as in "A League of Their Own" for our baseball-themed wedding.
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Go ahead, edit some goodiness in there.
My insight was asked for and it was provided.
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Its mostly because those of us who sit there mulling over the best way to encapsulate our reaction to the new strip (delighted that we might be first to comment) get all pissy when some punk beats us to the punch. At least you didn't foul the nest with a "Firsties!" comment.
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I've been thinking about weddings a lot lately, and I have come to the conclusion that if Girlface wants a big frilly dress and a hoss and carriage and ridiculous food and flowers everywhere she can have it...
...but I'd like to think I'll raise her better than that.
If she opts for a family-only wedding without Shenenigens, I'll give her the going rate for a wedding in 2035 or whatever in cold, hard cash.
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A) Great strip.
B) The wedding is for the bride. Your job, as groom, is to show up capable of standing up straight and saying "I do" at the correct moment. The rest of it is for the hens.
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As I am sure I have mentioned before, we got married in a justice of the peace's living room, with no witnesses. So seriously, I am totally qualified to write for Beef's magazine.
I do regret not having a cake, though. I definitely should have just gotten a cake that I wanted and called it a wedding cake. There would have been nothing wrong with some pigs in a blanket while we were at it. I guess we went out for fancy French food instead.
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So the bigger half of my family is a bunch of Lexington, KY bluebloods. If you want some boring ass ceremony, just go to any fancy WASP-Episcopalean knotting. Boring, that is, until the Bourbon comes out and we all start to remember just how painfully humiliating we find each other's company.
I believe I've stated my "wedding money is only for intoxicants and fireworks" policy on this board before.
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I've long proposed a law that any woman who calls a wedding "my day" instead of "our day" should be immediately slapped by anybody in earshot.
For my wedding we're thinking cupcake tree instead of cake. Also, tiki bar.
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I had wedding cake last Friday. Well sorta. I was my folks anniversary (http://"http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/2519086666/).
The social aspect of a wedding used to have significance as the community, family, church, etc. actually had a say in the matter. Now it's just a self-aggrandizing party.
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Me and my missus tied the ol' knot twice: we eloped on a steamboat and I dressed like Elton John minus the goofy shades and/or hat, with a Giant Mall Cookie for our wedding cake; then we had the event-style wedding in our backyard with everything wholesale, free, or gifted.
We spent our money on the ten day honeymoon in Italy. It was a good party, and then we had a fuc*ing great time doin our thing Tuscan-styylez.
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Times they have a changed as well... no doubt that in history half the joy of the day was the anticipation of finally finding out what was underneath that dress and all. It is like a reward for having put up with all of that party and bride stuff.
But these days, where is my reward?
I think that my father did something right with his wedding - he proposed, she accepted, and then he went away for three months while she planned the wedding and did not return until a couple of weeks before the day itself. Thankfully my mother is the forgiving type. Which must also be how he didn't get divorced straight after the comment "the only woman I've have to marry to get into bed" in his wedding speech.
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Man, I love the Chris Ware-esque titles on the last five panels. "Soon. Then. Graphic Design. So." It's like poetry.
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We served a trio of wedding pies at ours, all different recipes.
The gratitude on the faces of our guests was absolutely priceless.
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My parents had a traditional tiered wedding cake, but it was triangular.
I don't think I'm going to be able to one-up that.
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As I said in another thread I just went to wedding on Sunday where the couple sent identical chocolate cake recipes to 10 of their friends, and each one brought a cake to the reception. So they ended up with 10 mostly-identical cakes for free.
Plus fresh strawberries from the farm next door.
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The cake is the best part of the wedding! We totally skimped on everything BUT the cake. YUM!
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The cake is the best part of the wedding! We totally skimped on everything BUT the cake. YUM!
That's the spirit. If I ever get married it's gonna be at a justice of the peace. But goddammit there's gonna be cake.
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That's the spirit. If I ever get married it's gonna be at a justice of the peace. But goddammit there's gonna be cake.
Justice of the piece, then? Yuk yuk yuk! I'm sleepy...
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Last year I participated in a couple of weddings.
One was sort-of on the frugal, with lots of donations and gifted attributes, and a pot-luck dinner we all contributed to. It went well.
The next was out in the wine country in the ruins of an old mission, with a killer reception that featured an amazing butter nut risotto. The afterparty was drum-n-bass and ecstasy oriented. Overall it was quite fun.
The third was a ceremony performed by Elvis (Blue Lagoon theme) with showgirls, in Vegas. I was the best man, in a hawaiian shirt and an AC/DC "Highway to Hell" tie. It was followed by an incredible dinner and a lot of genuine celebration in spite of the artificial nature of Vegas. It was the best wedding I've ever been a part of, and a real bona fide celebration of love and unity.
This Friday I'm best man in another event, best described as "when white people and tradition attack". No one's happy about the marriage, the family's are at each other's throats, it's at some overly expensive restaurant that threatens legal action if they catch you bringing in any food or drink, in the middle of a desert, on one of the hottest days of the year, in fifty pounds of polyester because it's "traditional".
I. Am. Not. Enthused.
The lady and I have decided that, if we decide to officially tie a knot, we're throwing a kegger. We'd throw a techno-hippy raver campout in the forest, but the families probably wouldn't understand, so we're willing to make some accommodations.