The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: Arachno-capitalist on June 26, 2008, 12:33:40 am
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http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06252008 (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=06252008)
YES!!! The meltdown!
So basically we can blame this catastrophe on global warming.
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Noooo!!! The meltdown!
Aww, man, you modified your post and ruined my "joke." Dang it. Despite the unusually harsh last panel, I liked this strip. A special monkey-style shout-out goes to the ever-frowning Aunt Nina. That is EXACTLY how she should look, yes!
Also, the next strip is obviously when Teodor swoops in for the kill, makes a move on Molly, and compounds this disaster.
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Yes. AKKOLADE.
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It's all going to be fine in the end... it's all going to be fine in the end...
Shouting Roast Beef's font is still (I think) smaller than the normal font.
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Nooooooooooooooooo!
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Nononononononononono!
*weeps*
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nooooooo
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Uncle George is a fun guy. I'd want him at my wedding/graduation/&c.
Yayyys?
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Uncle George saying "Yayyys?" reminds me of the little corn salesman (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=12132004).
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Even money Phillipe saves it all by doing/saying something cute.
Next-most-likely, Ray saves it all in an unlikely manner that involves Airwolf.
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Lonis F Edison + Nightlife Mingus FTW
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God I love uncle George.
Thoughts while reading this strip: 'Where's Aunt Nina, who's that dude sitting next to George... ahhhhhh'
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Even money Phillipe saves it all by doing/saying something cute.
Next-most-likely, Ray saves it all in an unlikely manner that involves Airwolf.
I will offer Onstad a shiny new five dollar bill if he has Teodor sympathy-lay Molly, and a contrite Roast Beef walks in, finds them in mid coitus and shoots Teodor. Why? One reason and one reason alone: Because a Teodor in Heaven arc is in order.
there is no actual five dollar bill
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Teodor will not make a move on Molly because he is a pussy. That's why he never gets laid. Also, Molly isn't going to fuck Teodor just because she's pissed off at Beef.
Married people help me out, but isn't this somewhat typical pre-wedding shenanigans?
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This is very funny to me because a co-worker is getting married this Saturday, and I get to hear one side of the constant marriage emergency calls he gets.
"Hello?"
"That seems like a lot of wine. Didn't we get stuff for mixed drinks too?"
"I'm thinking more people would like them."
"Just the basics. Vodka tonics, uh, rum and cokes, scotch and soda..."
"Uh huh."
"Okay, but..."
"Uh huh."
"Okay."
"Uh huh."
"So why'd you ask my opinion again if you're ignoring it?"
(Long silence on this end)
"We're starting a meeting, I'll have to call you back."
They are not, apparently, having mixed drinks at the wedding.
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A special monkey-style shout-out goes to the ever-frowning Aunt Nina. That is EXACTLY how she should look, yes!
You aren't kidding. I live in Greektown. I see old women who look like this all the time, all waddling around in their T-shirt/long skirt combos, looking mean as hell. This is exactly how an old Greek feline lady would look. I bet she doesn't even speak a word of English besides "Eat, eat!"
Even money Phillipe saves it all by doing/saying something cute.
Next-most-likely, Ray saves it all in an unlikely manner that involves Airwolf.
I was thinking much the same. Also, Cornelius might have something wise and worldly to impart to Beef, and never count out Vlad's ability to provide just the right advice when it comes to matters of the heart. Hell, the Man with Blood on His Hands might make him stop acting like such a fool. Bottom line, the dude's got good people standing behind him.
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I suppose it's been almost two years, but I still sort of expected Akkolade to be doing this (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=08212006).
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Akkolade might be pretty helpful, of course, given how much experience (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=09282006) he's had with weddings. The brother is ravenous for love.
This has to work out in the end. There's just too much potential. Seeing characters like Akkolade and Uncle George interacting with each other in the same strip has made me realize that the wedding could basically just be this (http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10012003) for a month and a half and still be indescribably awesome.
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Teodor will not make a move on Molly because he is a pussy. That's why he never gets laid. Also, Molly isn't going to fuck Teodor just because she's pissed off at Beef.
Married people help me out, but isn't this somewhat typical pre-wedding shenanigans?
Meh, we just eloped, it was easier.
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Marriages rarely portend good things in comic strips, so I would be perfectly content to see this end in bitter and unresolvable estrangement. Besides, guys like Beef know they've got no business being happy, or even entertaining the possibility.
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Married people help me out, but isn't this somewhat typical pre-wedding shenanigans?
Pedro made me cry two days before our wedding because I realized I'd left the special gift I'd gotten him at home, and he came on the scene as I was desperately trying to get in touch with my ex-roommate (the only person still on town with a key to my place) to have her pick it up before she went to the airport.
He tried to console me by saying it wasn't that big a deal, I could give it to him at home, etc. I was all, "No, I wanted you to have it for our wedding." And then something deep down inside made him utter the phrase which haunts him to this day: "It's not a watch, is it? Because I've got lots of those."
Tears ensued. It was, in fact, an extremely beautiful, heirloom-quality pocket watch. It made it just in time for the wedding and he wore it with his tux. We look forward to passing it down to our son when he gets married, with a stern warning not to be a dick to his lady just before they tie the knot.
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Meh, we just eloped, it was easier.
OK, I'll bite. With who? When?
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OK, I'll bite. With who? When?
Apparently somebody who goddamn loves the hell out of some bacon. Or I hope so, for her sake.
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Apparently somebody who goddamn loves the hell out of some bacon. Or I hope so, for her sake.
Nope, she's ovo-lacto-pesco.
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Nina! He says this!
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We really didn't have a crisis leading up to the wedding, not that I can imagine.
My best wedding-day crisis, though: I was an usher in a friend's wedding that was in an old and tiny historic church on Long Island in the middle of the summer. It was beastly hot in there, so everyone was hanging out outside until we went out and said "We want to start now, everyone come sit down." And then everyone came in at once, faster than the three of us could seat them, so people were seating themselves.
The pews on each side held three or four people. The first pew on the bride's side was reserved for the bride, groom, and maid of honor to sit down at one point in the service. Second pew: bride's mother, her husband, and the bride's brother. Third pew: bride's father, his wife and someone else from their entourage. Bride's mom and dad do not get along. So amid the stampede, we notice three women we didn't recognize sitting in the second pew on the bride's side. The bride's mom noticed this too and was standing at the back of the church looking furious. The ushers conferred, and I went up and asked "Who are you?" They said "[The bride's father] said we could sit here."
The ushers conferred, and we cleared out a pew in the far back of the church that was stacked with hymnals and bibles. I went back to them and said "You're going to have to sit back there. I don't care what he said, I'm not telling the mother of the bride that she has to sit in the back of the church." They were pissed, but fuck 'em.
The bride and groom were blissfully unaware of this minor drama until I told them several years later. Then they were grateful.
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The biggest pre-wedding drama we encountered was when I realized, while in the limo en route to the church that my dress was still at my mother's house, halfway across town.
My dad had to make a mad dash back to the house to get the dress while I hung out, fully bedecked in pearls, a sweeping up-do, and full makeup, clad in one of my dad's old flannel shirts (which I wore to my hair appointment because I had forgotten my own button-up shirt) and a baggy pair of jeans. With four-inch heels. I looked like a mid-nineties hooker from Seattle. But nobody saw me except my mom and my bridesmaids, so it was OK.
Meanwhile, Pedro had spend the morning wandering around downtown Toledo with his brothers, stopped into White Castle for some sliders, and ended up having to bail in the middle of the dollar dance due to incredible diarrhea. It was...problematic. We had to delay the cake cutting until he could stand upright again.
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Oh please tell me there is a picture of you dressed as a grunge hooker.
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Oh please tell me there is a picture of you dressed as a grunge hooker.
I don't think so, but I'll check my wedding album and get back to you.
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Oh please tell me there is a picture of you dressed as a grunge hooker.
JL needs to get herself on Suicide Girls like yesterday.
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Nope, she's ovo-lacto-pesco.
I think you meant to type: "She is a picky eater."
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I think you meant to type: "She is a picky eater."
Brother, you don't know the half of it.
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So in the run up to the wedding, the bride-to-be becomes an overpaid actor and the world becomes the PAs she feels it her cosmic right and duty to abuse?
Oh man, the whole "bridezilla" thing just finally clicked for me.
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I think that's exactly right. The way people seem to act is, it's the only chance in their lives that they get to Put On A Show.
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And then something deep down inside made him utter the phrase which haunts him to this day: "It's not a watch, is it? Because I've got lots of those."
Oh Dear Lord. Mankind could develop practical immortality, geologic epochs could pass, galactic civilizations could rise and fall and you won't forget that one. I know. Wives have loooong memories when it comes to husbandly misdeeds, especially when it comes to wedding days.
Here's mine. Wedding in St Louis, I left the wedding ring in Louisville. Maid of Honor was able to procure a substitute from a jeweler friend, but then during the ceremony I put in onto the wrong hand. If there is a heaven I expect St. Peter to greet me at the Pearly fuck*ng Gates with that story.