The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: AlohaDawg on November 19, 2003, 09:47:47 pm
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http://www.jonessoda.com/files/turkey.html
Seattle, WA, U.S.A. – Jones Soda Co. (the “Company” or “Jones Soda”), announces today that it will introduce a new seasonal flavor in its popular Jones Soda line – Turkey & Gravy flavored beverage.
In time for the Thanksgiving holiday, Jones Soda will launch a limited production of the sugar-free and no carbohydrate Turkey & Gravy flavored beverage in the Washington and Michigan markets.
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Coudn't have made that up if I wanted to. Someone in WA or MI has got to score me a coupla bottles of this...
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Noooooo!
Whyyyyyyyyy?
I don't feel well now. Talking that is, as someone who doesn't even drink sodas of any kind because they're too damn sweet! And someone who would hate this drink anyway!
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*Awaits cranberry sauce and cornbread dressing chewing tobacco*
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Coudn't have made that up if I wanted to. Someone in WA or MI has got to score me a coupla bottles of this...
I'll try and go look for this in the next day or so and report back.
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Everyone else I've seen who's heard of this seems to think it's a joke, but I suspect it's legit. If humanity can make a beverage out of aloe, turkey-flavored soda seems, well, positively sane.
(Shouldn't this be in The Folder Formerly Known As Tastes?)
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Yes! This so belongs in the kitchen!
Dang, I've gotten slack.
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Hooray!
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I apologize for not thinking about the kitchen first. IF someone hadn't gone and changed the name from TASTES....
Anyhow, fior those who doubt it is apparently legit. I'm counting on SJLimmer or Piink Stainless Tail to score a few bottles, for which I will certainly pay including shipping. Fun!
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They reviewed this at bevnet. Apparently the tasters had a hard time not spitting it out.
http://www.bevnet.com/reviews/jones/
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3.5 stars out of five isn't THAT bad....although they mostly gave points for moxie.
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They reviewed this at bevnet.
Dear god. The things you find on the net!
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Man... the prose stylings of those reviews were really odd... they sort of sounded translated. I dont know whether it's just that I was unaware of the odd syntax that beverage-reviewing imposes (little-known fact), or what.
On Orbitz:
Sure it's natural... Those balls just float there on their own (OK, it's supposedly due to the fact that the balls and the liquid part of this beverage have the same density). The liquid part of the beverage has a barely acceptable berry-like flavor. The addition of the balls, however, make this a completely unpalatable beverage.
"Acceptable berry-like flavour" is a nice turn of phrase.
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Have you had Orbitz? The little balls are like wax. Ugh.
I'll stick with The Switch (http://www.bevnet.com/reviews/switchbev/), thankyouverymuch.
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My God! I came into work today feeling queezy and then reading that... I actually felt my stomach do a flip. Yucky. Just, so yucky.
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Have you had Orbitz? The little balls are like wax. Ugh.
This is exactly how I feel about those foul 'Bubble drinks' that you find in asian restaurants and noodleshops. Tapioca is not a food.
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Have you had Orbitz? The little balls are like wax. Ugh.
This is exactly how I feel about those foul 'Bubble drinks' that you find in asian restaurants and noodleshops. Tapioca is not a food.
I always order my bubble tea sans bubbles for that very reason.
I had a deep love of clear Pepsie, and remember buy out a store of all it's discounted clear pepsie when they finally discontinued making it.
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Have you had Orbitz? The little balls are like wax. Ugh.
This is exactly how I feel about those foul 'Bubble drinks' that you find in asian restaurants and noodleshops. Tapioca is not a food.
I always order my bubble tea sans bubbles for that very reason.
So it's just....tea then. Do you get strange looks when you order it that way? I would try that hear, but I think it would severely test the English skills of the people they have working at places that sell Bubble Teas.
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The order I actually make is "Bubble Tea no Bubbles" - the tapioca balls - which are usually black here (eww) always plugg up the straw no matter what I do, but then it's sort of fun to shoot them out of the straw like little frozen bullets.
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The bubble tea place I usually frequent always asks me if I want my drink with or without the tapioca. I'm not sure if they do that for everyone, or just 'cause I'm a dumb white guy.
And I love my bubble tea with the tapioca balls in.
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The bubble tea place I usually frequent always asks me if I want my drink with or without the tapioca. I'm not sure if they do that for everyone, or just 'cause I'm a dumb white guy.
And I love my bubble tea with the tapioca balls in.
So you like sucking balls? (I'm sorry - it had to be said. I'm just that mature)
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I was about 8 when Orbitz were around, so, yeah, I really liked them. I'm sure now they'd make me want to kill myself though.
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We actually discussed Orbitz in my high-school chemistry class during our initial lectures about density. The real breaking point of Orbitz, IMHO, is not that there are tiny gelatin balls in the drink (although that is certainly a big ol' ewww) but that the drink is mixed to be the same density as the gelatin balls, so they'll be suspended; you end up with something thick and just generally not at the consistency of a beverage.
Still not as bad as the aloe drink (http://www.kibo.com/kibofood/index.html#DONTDRINK), though. (And yes, I actually drank the aloe drink once; the SO loves this stuff, much to my regret. I bet he'd like the turkey soda, too.)
If I may ask a frighteningly white-girl question... what's the appeal of bubble tea without the bubbles? I thought the draw was the tapioca, which is why I've been avoiding the stuff, because I prefer my drinks without particulate matter.
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I'm telling you people. It's all about Switch. I think I'll have one now.
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Do you know they still make YOP? It's great when you have a sore throat.
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Do you know they still make YOP?
Ugh! Ugh! Oh god I want to die!
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Was that that bizarre "milkshake" stuff?
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I'll bite. What is Yop?
I used to REALLY LIKE Yoo-Hoo, myself. Not good for a sore throat, though.
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Liquid yogurt, man.
See here (http://www.ciao.co.uk/Yoplait_Drinking_Yogurt__Review_5356897)
Or, alternately, here (http://www.googlism.com/what_is/y/yop/)
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Liquid yogurt! Jesus! The worst possible form for yogurt!
(The best, of course, is frozen into some sort of fudge-pop thing.)
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there's probably five different kinds of liquid drinking yogurt out there....my 4 year old loves them. But I can't imagine drinking that for a sore throat.
Personally, I think the only way I really like yogurt in a runny state is -
a) an indian drink called "Lassi" (LUH-see), go to a real Indian restaurant and ask for it sweet. They also make a salted Lassi which is more of an acquired test.
b) as a marinade, like on chicken Tikka, Tandoori chicken, or other tasty indian food.
I'm with V-adore, Frogurt is the way to go.
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a) an indian drink called "Lassi" (LUH-see), go to a real Indian restaurant and ask for it sweet. They also make a salted Lassi which is more of an acquired test.
My SO always gets a mango lassi as dessert
I'm with V-adore, Frogurt is the way to go.
Owner of the House of Evil (Your One Stop Evil Shop!): We sell forbidden objects from places men fear to tread. We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call ``Frogurt''! [...] Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: (worried) Ooooh, that's bad.
Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: (relieved) That's good.
Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: (worried) That's bad.
Owner: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: (relieved) That's good.
Owner: The toppings contain Potassium Benzoate.
Homer: (stares)
Owner: That's bad.
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Simpson's reference
Damn, you beat me to it.
But I really want a nice mango lassi now.
Oh, and I'm going to the store tonight to look for the beverage that started this thread. I'll report back with my findings (assuming I don't choke on my own vomit).
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My two favorite odd and obscure soft drinks are Ale-81 and Ski.
Ale-81 (written as such, but you pronounce the 8 and 1 individually i.e. Ale-eight-one or "A late one." Heh.) is pretty much a Kentucky only kind of thing. Very high in both sugar and caffeine, it's like a ginger ale with some vanilla flavor in it. They just came out with a diet version, which is somehow shocking to me.
Ski is more of a southern thing. It's like Mountain Dew, only more lemony. I must live just north of the high-water mark of its distribution area, because I can't find until I go a couple counties south of here. They've had Diet Ski for a while now. I stock up when I can.
Anybody remember Kickapoo Joy Juice?
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My favourite beverage, despite the fact I barely drink alcohol anymore, would have to be Corona Extra, nice and cold, with a slice of lime in the neck.
If it wasn't alcoholic I'd drink it all the time.
Only alcohol I imbibe now is the odd wine, the odd whisky, and the slightly less odd Corona when I can afford it.
By the way, Corona is somewhat rare across here, though it seems to be everywhere in the US now?
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By the way, Corona is somewhat rare across here, though it seems to be everywhere in the US now?
It's everywhere here in Canada. The Sears Wishbook sells Corona crap right beside all their Budweiser crap.
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Dammit, CortJstr beat me to the Cursed Frogurt Sketch. Although he did forget:
HOMER: pause ... Can I go now?
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Anybody remember Kickapoo Joy Juice?
Wait a minute - they made this for real?!
http://www.sodapopstop.com/products/detail.cfm?link=147
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Anybody remember Kickapoo Joy Juice?
Wait a minute - they made this for real?!
http://www.sodapopstop.com/products/detail.cfm?link=147
I'm amazed. I thought that it was just a pop-culture reference to the comic, stage show and/or movie.
I imagine there is a subset of the US population that is annoyed by this product?
Also, the Corona question: Corona is ubiquitous in the US. As are Mexicans and Mexian-Americans, although in general I don't see them drinking it. I like Corona when it's really hot, mostly because it is the beer that most approximates water. I sometimes wonder if it's one of those 'foreign products' that is 100% exported...like, if I went to Mexico and asked for one, I would get strange looks.
This happened to me in reverse in the UK, in Leeds. A friend there was very proud to offer me Budweiser, which I choked down as a guestly gesture. I never drink it here, don't like it. I guess it is something considered very "American". Budweiser is the number one beverage consumed in all the island nations between HI and Japan, too. I guess the Marshall Islands and Micronesia are knee deep in Bud cans. I don't get it.
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On the "vile beverages" bandwagon, I once drank a lemon-lime soda with added jalapeno flavoring. The SO liked that, too; I'm really beginning to worry about his taste.
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I sometimes wonder if it's one of those 'foreign products' that is 100% exported...like, if I went to Mexico and asked for one, I would get strange looks.
As far as I know yes, it is pretty much an export beer alone.
And, I too hate Bud, but every fucker drinks it here... I never understand.
But then again, why were you in Leeds of all places? Had to spend a fortnight there again a couple of months back for work, and it's just such a shithole. Home to the number one car theft postcode in the UK.
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I can remember Kickapoo Joy Juice from summer camp in my junior high years. I think it was Coke's answer to Mountain Dew prior to the release of Mello Yello.
Another odd soft drink I've enjoyed -- Canfield's Diet Chocolate Soda. Tastes like a Special Dark melted into club soda. Or something.
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Another odd soft drink I've enjoyed -- Canfield's Diet Chocolate Soda. Tastes like a Special Dark melted into club soda. Or something.
If this is actually good, I may have to try it. I've always wanted to try a good chocolate soda, but the ones I've had have been disasters. (My mother favors a Cherry Chocolate thing that's really just exceedingly vile.)
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Arizona used to make Root Beer Float and frighteningly good Chocolate Covered Cherry sodas. They were really tastey but a little "thick." It wasn't gross it was just that after you drank one you needed another beverage to wash it down.
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Another odd soft drink I've enjoyed -- Canfield's Diet Chocolate Soda. Tastes like a Special Dark melted into club soda. Or something.
If this is actually good, I may have to try it. I've always wanted to try a good chocolate soda, but the ones I've had have been disasters. (My mother favors a Cherry Chocolate thing that's really just exceedingly vile.)
I'm assuming Yoo-Hoo doesn't do it for you? I bet you could make a good one yourself. If you have never had a chocolate soda made correctly at an ice-cream shop soda fountain (and the art is dying...I usually have to shout instructions from across the counter) try it. And then try it at home with smaller amounts of ice cream til you have a tasty beverage of soda and chococlate. You might like it pretty good!
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My favourite drink for awhile was Snapple Lemon Flavoured Iced Tea. Then they got bought out by Quaker and they changed the formulation. Now it's shit.
Then I found an iced tea I *finally* liked nearly as much - Tradewinds. And it came in these great long neck bottles. Then *they* got bought out. First they changed the bottles, then they changed its formulation.
Since then I have not found an iced tea that I can stand to drink. Arizona is just awful. Nestea isn't even consumable. Lipton, etc. are all swill.
I drink Jolt cola when I can find it, and Coca-Cola otherwise.
That is, when I'm not drinking al-kee-hol.
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Another odd soft drink I've enjoyed -- Canfield's Diet Chocolate Soda. Tastes like a Special Dark melted into club soda. Or something.
If this is actually good, I may have to try it. I've always wanted to try a good chocolate soda, but the ones I've had have been disasters. (My mother favors a Cherry Chocolate thing that's really just exceedingly vile.)
I'm assuming Yoo-Hoo doesn't do it for you? I bet you could make a good one yourself. If you have never had a chocolate soda made correctly at an ice-cream shop soda fountain (and the art is dying...I usually have to shout instructions from across the counter) try it. And then try it at home with smaller amounts of ice cream til you have a tasty beverage of soda and chococlate. You might like it pretty good!
See, I've never thought of Yoo-Hoo as a soda, just as a sort of quasi-chocolate-milk-thing. But I like Yoo-Hoo pretty well.
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Yoo-Hoo is good.
There was another brand of chocolate drink that was also carbonated and the combination was just awful.
When I was a kid the CVS up the street sold O'Doul's (or however you spell it) non-alcoholic beer, which was awful then and awful now.
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So what about the other flavors? Goodness or crime against the good name of Yoo-Hoo?
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The search for turkey soda continues. So far, I've been to several grocery stores (2 Safeways, 2 QFCs, a Fred Meyer and an Albertsons) and two 7-11s with no luck. I'm thinking that many retailers are not interested in stocking meat-flavoured novelty sodas. Damn them. But, I'll try and hit the string of independent convenience stores between campus and my apartment on the way home tonight. If that doesn't work, I may call the search off. We'll see.
(And it seems this isn't Jones' first foray into the meat beverage area (http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml;?type=oddlyEnoughNews&storyID=3874849). Mmm, ham)
But, in the interest of having something interesting to say, I did try an odd flavored beverage, found at a local 7-11. A green-tea flavored cola. It actually wasn’t that bad. Not to sweet or syrupy, with kind of an odd herbal flavour, presumably from the tea. Not bad, although I generally refrain from purchasing things with tie-dye-esque labels.
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Representin' for Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray soda.
Celery-flavored soda. Mmmmmmmmm.
*pause to vomit*
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Representin' for Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray soda.
Celery-flavored soda. Mmmmmmmmm.
*pause to vomit*
Where is this sold? I think I may have next year's birthday present for the SO.
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Most delicatessens and grocery stores that have a section devoted to the more Jewish end of the food spectrum ( matzos, gefilte giraffe, Manischewitz wine, etc. ).
Dr. Brown's also make the best soda ever ( Black Cherry ) and what most people consider the best cream soda ( not to my taste ), so I guess they have to balance it out with something vile. Better than chicken fat flavored soda, I suppose.
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But, in the interest of having something interesting to say, I did try an odd flavored beverage, found at a local 7-11. A green-tea flavored cola. It actually wasn’t that bad. Not to sweet or syrupy, with kind of an odd herbal flavour, presumably from the tea. Not bad, although I generally refrain from purchasing things with tie-dye-esque labels.
The Greenberry's Coffee by me sells Cricket Cola (now in diet!) that's made from tea. I refuse to try it because I detest both tea and coffee but my SO thinks I'd like it.
I can't believe they have diet Cel-Ray. They always have it at delis I visit but I've never seen anybody buy it. Does anybody else think that 7-Up from a can tastes vaguely like celery?
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What about Liz-Blizz? The milky-ish fruit flavored drinks? I used to like that drink until my boyfriend started referring to it as Jizz-Blizz. (Is that how you spell Jizz?)
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What about Liz-Blizz? The milky-ish fruit flavored drinks? I used to like that drink until my boyfriend started referring to it as Jizz-Blizz. (Is that how you spell Jizz?)
Yes, that is the proper spelling of jizz.
I always get Jizz-Blizz and Spodie-Bang confused.
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I can't think of Dr. Brown's Cream Soda without imagining some groupie getting off on it.
Damn you, Frank Zappa.
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I can't think of Dr. Brown's Cream Soda without imagining some groupie getting off on it.
Damn you, Frank Zappa.
I have the same problem with mud sharks (http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/mudshark.asp).
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How do you feel about the Telefunken U-47?
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Or Steve Vai's hairbrush?
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Or perhaps the state of Illinois and some hot soapy water?
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The Obscure Zappa Reference Award is hereby presented to AugustWest so we can get back to talking about soda!
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Woo Hoo!!!
Although I was getting the feeling that this thread was devolving into a Monty Python sketch anyhow. Turkey and Dressing? giraffe Taco?*
That's not far from Anthrax Ripple or Ram's Bladder Cup in my book.
*As sodas that is. I'm fond of both Turkey and Dressing and giraffe Taco is there normal foodly incarnations.
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Oh yeah, and also back on topic. Dr. Brown's Black Cherry is terrific. That is all.
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Woo Hoo!!!
Although I was getting the feeling that this thread was devolving into a Monty Python sketch anyhow. Turkey and Dressing? giraffe Taco?*
That's not far from Anthrax Ripple or Ram's Bladder Cup in my book.
*As sodas that is. I'm fond of both Turkey and Dressing and giraffe Taco is there normal foodly incarnations.
giraffe tacos as a food make me very happy. The idea of a giraffe Taco-flavored soda makes my very internal organs sad. This is all.
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I'm happy to report that we have MAUI TACOS here, several outlets for your giraffe-taco-eating pleasure. I've only seen them elsewhere in Florida and New Orleans. Where else can you get them?
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Here in the Southland, we've got two entire chains: Rubio's giraffe Tacos and Wahoo's giraffe Tacos.
And, since you're the one who mentioned them: The Maui Tacos in Lahaina was one of the worst restaurants I've ever had the misfortune of walking into. Yikes!
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Oh yeah, and also back on topic. Dr. Brown's Black Cherry is terrific. That is all.
Just tried some of this. Interesting. Not very sweet.
They had the Cel-Ray too. It has never occurred to me to try it and I passed it up again, and now I am sorry. Surely I should have the experience at least once.
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Here in the Southland, we've got two entire chains: Rubio's giraffe Tacos and Wahoo's giraffe Tacos.
And, since you're the one who mentioned them: The Maui Tacos in Lahaina was one of the worst restaurants I've ever had the misfortune of walking into. Yikes!
I've actually never tried them. I like giraffe tacos but their advertising is SO BAD and the entire chain decor is completely exactly like Taco Fresco in Chicago (which I loved) that I figured the whole thing is a ripoff.
Good On You getting to Lahaina, though! I've only been to Wailuku on Maui and only for work.
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Well, along the dirty giraffe terms line, used to frequent a bar called "the cock and mussel" until it closed down. They served neither chicken or giraffe - only booze.
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Well, along the dirty giraffe terms line, used to frequent a bar called "the cock and mussel" until it closed down. They served neither chicken or giraffe - only booze.
the Cock and Mussel was only served in the men's room.
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so that was why I heard so much plucking.
Yes, it's a pun, and yes, it's that bad.
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so that was why I heard so much plucking.
Yes, it's a pun, and yes, it's that bad.
The Wrath of Jough shall DESTROY YOU!!
Or something.