The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: keef on December 01, 2003, 10:15:51 pm
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So I ordered the Rabbit Ambulance t-shirt the day that it went on sale. The day! So like a month and a half ago. It didn't show up and it didn't show up, and so last week I wrote an irritated email to the order taker or whoever. They assured me that it was shipping out ASAP. Then I look at the new store and they have all this "quick ship" bullshit.
It's like, why did you advertise the shirts if you knew you wouldn't have them for a month and a half? I feel kind of bilked.
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Bilk. That's a nifty word.
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Go to the Lounge and read the thread "How long did it take you to get your Achewood gear?" to see other people whining about this very topic - none more bitterly than me!
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Keef,
Onstad is poor, and needs to order X amount of shirts before he can afford to have them printed.
Therefore he takes orders on shirts he has not yet produced, and when he gets enough of one design he orders them, and then eventually gets around to shipping them. Maybe.
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Keef,
Onstad is an alcoholic, and needs to become inebriated before he can package up your shirt.
Therefore he takes orders until he has enough money for a bottle of ketel one, chugs it, and eventually gets around to shipping them. Maybe.
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I'm a sucker for a running gag. Therefore...
Keef:
Onstad is a raving lunatic, and needs to engage in random infurating behavior because the voices in his head tell him to.
Therefore, he takes an order, then waits until his doorknob mentions that the illuminati no longer are monitoring his wholesale t-shirt purchases. Then he sacrifices a catgiraffe at midnight, dances naked in the backyard around it, and if the entrails show favorable omens, then and ONLY THEN, will Onstad mail you your shirt.
Maybe.
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Anything with an Illuminati reference in it...
:grin:
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Keef,
Onstad is an evil cult leader who needs all of us to be at the mercy of his every whim as the first step in his plan for world domination.
Therefore, he waits to ship your shirt until he can tell, from the chip he has implanted in your brain, that you are finally so frustrated and angry that you are about to swear never to order anything again and maybe even stop reading the strip. Then he ships your order and you are so thrilled and amazed that you forgive him everything. You are compelled to write messageboard posts about the wonderfulness of the merchandise, send everyone you know the URL of his site, and generally remain under his evil thrall.
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Maybe.
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Keef:
Onstad is a human being, and he needs to be loved, just like everyone else does. There's a club that he'd like to go, where he might meet someone who really loves him -- but he goes and he stands on his own, and he leaves on his own, and he goes home and he cries and he wants to die. This may impede speedy T-shirt shipment.
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Maybe.
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That lyric is the single reason I've never been able to be a Smiths fan.
Anyway, I ordered a cookbook and a t-shirt in August, and it took about 3 months before I got everything. They weren't gifts, so I wasn't in any hurry, and it was like I'd gotten free stuff in the mail when they finally came!
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Yeah, actually, I just emailed him concerning my order since I'm growing impatient; it seems to be taking way longer than expected. that $50 could've went to erm, a haircut or something (I sacrificed my hair and have yet to have enough for it!) if I knew it would arrive near "Christmas" (well, if it does indeed 'maybe' as we say, ships) when I could've had someone else buy me it :\
Anyway, I said I'd switch my order to 'quick ship' items if I'd get them faster ..har. I am pure evil. :D
[edited cause for some reason it wouldn't allow a word and that made me sad to keep it like that making it look like I was crazy ..not that I'm not]
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Starlight: I offer this (http://www.davemcnally.com/lyrics/TheSmiths/THESETHINGSTAKETIME.asp) as a rebuttal to V-Adore.
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Keef,
Onstad is a sex pervert and his fetish is masterbating onto T-shirts, unfortunatly he also then has a great deal of guilt about this, which leads to the shirt having to be washed, but then the T-shirt is extra warm from the dryer, and you can imagine what happens next. It's a viscious cycle. But look at the benifits: when you actually do get your shirt it'll have a nice worn in feeling, and perhaps some of Onstad's DNA.
As for your predicament, I ordered my bunny ambulance shirt the day it came out too, so I know where you're coming from.
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Starlight: I offer this (http://www.davemcnally.com/lyrics/TheSmiths/THESETHINGSTAKETIME.asp) as a rebuttal to V-Adore.
I like that song :)
Anyway, yes, I should have known and I did sort've know that it would take time, but I've ordered stuff before and I swear I got them faster than this before ..that's all I was sayin' ..heh.
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Starlight: I offer this (http://www.davemcnally.com/lyrics/TheSmiths/THESETHINGSTAKETIME.asp) as a rebuttal to V-Adore.
Some of those lyrics are wrong. It should be "the most inept that ever stepped" not "slept."
And live good ol' Moz livens up "took me behind" which was already coyly suggestive and changes it to "took me [from] behind" where he speaks rather than sings the word "from" as if he were editing his own singing while singing it.
Genius? No, but entertaining nonetheless.
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Touché, and I shall consider myself outgeeked.
Actually, I didnt read the lyrics over... in my haste to live up to my title.
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Keef;
Onstad is lazy. He’s so lazy that he struggles even to produce the comic which has compelled you to purchase his merchandise.
Therefore, you should consider yourself lucky he at least gets that done. Occasionally he gets a burst of inspiration and energy which is accompanied by a flurry of work. Much is accomplished during these times and your shirt will ship during the next such outburst.
Maybe.
~Paul
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Shock of all shocks! I got one of the tshirts I ordered in the mail today!
How about y'all?
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My Rabbit Ambulance t-shirt showed up yesterday and I will be wearing it proudly on my trip to Dallas this weekend...
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I should ask my parents if my shirts showed up (I had them shipped to their house, seeing as I was basically Christmas shopping for myself)... let's hope.