The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: AugustWest on December 02, 2003, 04:35:19 am
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Chris seems to have taken up automotive rendering as a sort of avocation, much to all our delight. For humorous effect, he is choosing the odd and obscure motorcars of the fleet.
What's next?
I say either a 1978 Fiat X-1/9 or a 1972 Ford Torino (which coincidentally was my first car!)
What smooth ride will we see the Achewood denizens tooling around in next?
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Pat will drop off Arthur and we'll watch the rotund rabble-rouser try to wedge himself into a 1996 Honda Civic Del Sol - metallic mint green, of course.
Following that, we'll probably hit a one-off that has Liebot and Vlad drag-racing in mid-fifties Cadillacs. One El Dorado (convertible), and one Fleetwood (Series Sixty).
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I know this is boringly unobscure, but I want to see a VW Bug (new or old), which is the only car that's so cute it's almost a mammal. Wouldn't Philippe drive one? If he were old enough of course.
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(http://www.wingnuttoons.com/spdbugani.gif)
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Following that, we'll probably hit a one-off that has Liebot and Vlad drag-racing in mid-fifties Cadillacs. One El Dorado (convertible), and one Fleetwood (Series Sixty).
Best. One-shot strip idea. EVER.
Vlad would have a classy car like that, wouldn't he?
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I know this is boringly unobscure, but I want to see a VW Bug (new or old), which is the only car that's so cute it's almost a mammal. Wouldn't Philippe drive one? If he were old enough of course.
No. Even if old enough he just gets to push Todd's van around.
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This thread is just too "fan boy-ish" for me.
Sorry.
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Poor Jough. It's not this thread, it's just that bitch goddess Technology who sucks you in and then breaks your heart that has put you in a bad mood.
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To be fair to Moderator Sad, any thread which involves an anigif of "Speed Buggy" is just a little fanboyish.
(EDIT: I believe this is Board Post #8000. I'm oddly proud of myself.)
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(http://www.autoexpress.co.uk/picture_library/dir_9/car_portal_pic_4950.jpg)
Looks pretty Achewood to me!
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Some kind of British car thing
Looks pretty Achewood to me!
I think that's Mr. Bear's backup model, for when the liquor runs out on the other one.
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I just. saw. one of those in Vegas - we went to a car show. Its top was down, and it shows that it's very clearly meant for two people to ride in it. Two Hilton sisters, maybe, but there are two seats in there.
They also had two - two! 1998 Shelbys there with these hoodscoops so ridiculous you could fit a grown man in them. Ridiculous. I'm sure they can hit sixty mph in like 3/4 sec.
Ridiculous.
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How about a Maroon 1971 Buick Riveria with a 455?
Or a 1980 Datsun B-310 hatchback?
Or a 1977 AMC Gremlin? Yellow in color.
Or a 1982 Chevrolet Impala Station Wagon. With genuine simulated wood side panels.
Or the Popemobile.
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If you drive a 198X Buick Riviera, the Elves come at night and knit you a stylish and warm wool cap that reads
SEXY SENIOR CITIZEN
Was there ever a car for El Camino people with Cadillac tastes? Yes.
EDIT: THUS BEGINS AND ENDS MY KNOWLEDGE OF RIDICULOUS CARS; THIS POST IS DEDICATED TO MY GRANDMOTHER, WHO WOULD MOST LIKELY CHIDE ME FOR "WASTING FOOD" WERE I TO POUR PART OF A FORTY ONTO THE GROUND ON HER BEHALF
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1974 Vega wagon (http://www.stationwagon.com/gallery/1974_Chevy_Vega.html). Brown.
I've never seen one of these (http://www.humans.com/pages/ugliestcar.shtml) in real life, but i'd love to see what the inside looks like. And it's pretty Ugly, too. In a Mr Bear sort of way.
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ugh, I've seen those weird Fiat things in the UK, but not in Italy where there's Fiats on every street. Because of style, you know.
And we get those weird things that are half regular car, and half big American car with massive chrome grilles. What is up with that?
Don't diss Mr Bear's custom Mini Cooper. There's 2 of those on my street. One is British racing green with a chequered flag roof, one is blue with a Union Jack roof. They rock.
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Some kind of British car thing
Looks pretty Achewood to me!
Not British. It's the Messerschmidt car from way back.
My fater had an obsession with those, despite not being able to fit in one.
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1974 Vega wagon (http://www.stationwagon.com/gallery/1974_Chevy_Vega.html). Brown.
I've never seen one of these (http://www.humans.com/pages/ugliestcar.shtml) in real life, but i'd love to see what the inside looks like. And it's pretty Ugly, too. In a Mr Bear sort of way.
A. I used to regularly drive a yellow Vega wagon of about this vintage. Sweet!
B. MAN! That thing is uglier than an Aztek. And that's sayin' somthing, brother.
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B. MAN! That thing is uglier than an Aztek. And that's sayin' somthing, brother.
I'm not sure if it's uglier than the newish Renault with the ulgy ass. It is similar to that Fiat's front end, the way it bulges over. Only it does it at the back instead.
It's hideous.
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1974 Vega wagon (http://www.stationwagon.com/gallery/1974_Chevy_Vega.html). Brown.
I've never seen one of these (http://www.humans.com/pages/ugliestcar.shtml) in real life, but i'd love to see what the inside looks like. And it's pretty Ugly, too. In a Mr Bear sort of way.
A. I used to regularly drive a yellow Vega wagon of about this vintage. Sweet!
B. MAN! That thing is uglier than an Aztek. And that's sayin' somthing, brother.
I was just composing a post comparing that thing to the Pontiac Aztec myself. Awful, awful cars.
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Pontiac Azteks (Aztecs?) hurt me inside. It's like they took every possible ugly feature of a car, added it to the body, and then painted it all Olive Shit Green just to spite my eyeballs. Why would you drive an Aztek, anyway -- just to personally injure the people you come into contact with on the interstate?
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But an Aztek was a prize on the first Survivor! They wouldn't give away something crappy. That would destroy my faith in reality shows.
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1974 Vega wagon (http://www.stationwagon.com/gallery/1974_Chevy_Vega.html). Brown.
I've never seen one of these (http://www.humans.com/pages/ugliestcar.shtml) in real life, but i'd love to see what the inside looks like. And it's pretty Ugly, too. In a Mr Bear sort of way.
A. I used to regularly drive a yellow Vega wagon of about this vintage. Sweet!
B. MAN! That thing is uglier than an Aztek. And that's sayin' somthing, brother.
I was just composing a post comparing that thing to the Pontiac Aztec myself. Awful, awful cars.
I hate the Element only slightly less than the Aztec. Truly Montezuma's Last Laugh. This Multipla, though, does less to disengage and forcefully eject my last meal through the nearest orifice than to actually make me want to laugh. Perhaps this is the vehicle in which the elves commute to Santa's Workshop. Or... "Multipla: The official transport of Disneyland". I picture a Seven Dwarves Cab Service... A fleet of Multiplas! Door to gate service, Hotel to the Teacup Ride! Reduced fare if the passengers sing "Heigh Ho! Heigh Ho! To Disneyland We Go!" out the windows on the way!
This Multipla makes hybrid cars look VERY cool.
It reminds me of these oversized golfcart vehicles (http://www.gemcar.com/) (electric!) that someone is actually selling from a dealership here in Hawaii. Street Legal and, in my opinion, street lethal as well. Not to the pedestrian it hits, though - I think if one of these hit me about pelvis level at it's top speed of 30 mph, the front end would decapitate the passengers on it's way to both reversing the car-to-road orientation and turning it inside-out.
Although, bowing to those of you who are annoyed I would make sport of this, (I love you all anyway) they are clean (although the electricity DOES come from somewhere, don't forget) and you get free parking at meters in Hawaii with them. I wouldn't want one because I don't think they are safe - not any fault of their own, but the dominant feature on the roads move way faster and are way heavier. I don't want to be a martyr to the planet. I just want to get my family to the Safeway.
Has Segway put out a police model yet? Now THAT would be funny!
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Has Segway put out a police model yet? Now THAT would be funny!
I saw a photo of this during the whole "recall" hullabaloo and it was indeed quite comical. It was like the one guy the bicycle cops could make fun of.
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Has Segway put out a police model yet? Now THAT would be funny!
I saw one of our local police on one of these at a street fair this summer. Actually he didn't look much funnier than when they make them wear shorts and ride mountain bikes, but that isn't saying much. I think if you are going to grow up to be police, you should make sure the only non-standard conveyance you will have to operate is a hoss.
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Has Segway put out a police model yet? Now THAT would be funny!
I saw a photo of this during the whole "recall" hullabaloo and it was indeed quite comical. It was like the one guy the bicycle cops could make fun of.
SEGWAY COPS: The new Steven Bochco (probably spelled wrong) series!
Of course, this would inevitably lead to "Law & Order: Segway Unit."
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Of course, this would inevitably lead to "Law & Order: Segway Unit."
DUH-DUNNNNNNNG
SOCIETY FOR CREATIVE ANACHRONISM
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 3
BRISCOE (Jerry Orbach*): The perp was caught riding a Segway, so are you supposed to use hand signals on these little faggot scooters or what
CURTIS** (Benjamin Bratt): Hey easy there Lenny, no need to push his head into the urinal like four or five times
MUNCH (Richard Belzer): Right yes this reminds me of like the Magic Urinal Cake that entered the perp's head at a sixty-six degree angle and then buried itself in Governor Connally's wrist at a -
SAINT ZARTAN: Did you know that you are the coolest recurring character on television ever
BRISCOE (Jerry Orbach): I used to drink
TEN DOLLAR REBATE ON THE BOX SET
Also, I'd watch "Law & Order: Putting Little Bits Of Colored Paper Into Sorted Piles Unit" if Mariska Hargitay was on it. I mean, come on. Damn.
* who would make a perfect Judge Dredd if they hadn't already made the movie and it went ahead and sucked and everything
** this is how long it's been since I watched Law & Order: Adjective-Free Unit