The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: BUFFY on October 23, 2009, 09:10:24 am
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you've probably heard some of the grosser than gross jokes.
what's grosser than 7 dead babies in a trash can?
one dead baby in 7 trash cans...
I read somewhere that these jokes originated around the time of Vietnam as a byproduct of the American culture being exposed to the horrors of the war. The theory is that people often use humor to cope.
so anyway, if anyone wants to have a go at it, let's hear your best grosser than gross jokes.
I have one that's not really a joke so much as a practical joke. Well I guess idiotic jokes would work for this thread just as well. E.g. Tom Green climbing into a dead moose carcass.
anyway, I have this fascination and preoccupation with fetuses. (feti?) However the little runts are spelled.
I guess it's because deep down I have a mischievous nature that I like to find things that push people's buttons. And dead fetuses does the trick for some people. I really like to push people's buttons who are anti-abortion. It's ironic that on average, people who are anti-abortion come from the same group that is anti-gun control and anti-animal rights. To me it's extremely narcissistic to view human life as somehow more deserving of the right to life than animal life. It's really telling when you consider that the same narcissism that leads people to place human life above animal life often leads these same people to place one human life above another on the basis of race, national origin, sexual orientation, and so on. I can be a total idiot, so sometimes I engage these folks in conversation (that and I would get bored at work) and I remember arguing with this one dude about the detention of prisoners in Guantanamo, and I was like, dude, these folks were picked up in the fog of war by confused and poorly educated American troops (I didn't realize at the time that many of them were actually picked up by Pakistani troops, but whatever) and I was like "so basically, you're saying that because some American soldier says they committed some act of terrorism or war, we should lock them up and throw away the keys. You have that much confidence in our American soldiers." And the dude was like "that's right." and so I was like "hey that's great, then maybe after the war we could have American troops be police, they could patrol our cities, and we would save a ton of money on court costs because they could act as police, judge, jury, and if needed executioner as well." Anyway, this guy was a total douche and no one liked him, but he was generally pretty happy with himself.
okay, so on to my fetus idea.
It'd be pretty funny if you could get a dead fetus right, a dead human fetus, and I'm sure there are dead fetuses to be had here and there, and you find some hoss or something that's about to give birth, and you stuff the dead fetus up the hoss, so then when the vet is birthing the hoss, the dead human fetus spits out. The vet would be pretty freaked out. That would be an awesome candid camera segment. Only trouble is that after that segment, they would pretty much have to shut down the show, because that would be like the ultimate shark jump. I don't think they could top that segment. Well I can but I'll stop now before I get my ass banned again.
I dunno man, am I really all that sick and perverted? I mean, they have that traveling museum exhibit of dead people that they've preserved, in fact, they have several of these exhibits apparently from what I remember, done by different people with different preserving processes. The most famous one is some weirdo who developed some kinda latex preserving process. He works out of China. So anyway, he has all these different people (dead, I might add) that he's preserved, including a fetus in a pregnant woman (both deader than a doornail) and they are all partially dissected and you can I guess walk right up to them and lick their dead preserved titties apparently, or maybe they have glass or someone standing there, I don't know I've never gone myself. I guess they would have to have glass because someone standing there might not work as a deterrent for everyone, au contraire it might even be a turn-on for some people. There's some pretty weird sickos out there.
anyway for the love of christ please don't post any gross pictures in this thread I can't stand that shit.
thank you.
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tl;dr
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I can be a total idiot
get out of here!
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That was the funniest thing I've read all week.
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At first, one might be confused as to why there are more prepositions in Attic Greek than there are cases. This can be resolved by understanding that the original Indo-European had eight cases:
- Nominative (the lion)
- Accusative (to the lion)
- Instrumental (with the lion)
- Genitive (of the lion)
- Dative (for the lion)
- Ablative (from the lion)
- Locative (at the lion)
- Vocatice (O Lion!)
in Greek, however, many of these cases collapsed and were absorbed by the genitive or dative cases.
(http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs210.snc1/7726_103777916304452_100000167321792_103148_6090641_n.jpg)
Toward the Lion - ACCUSATIVE
(http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs210.snc1/7726_103777929637784_100000167321792_103149_6195259_n.jpg)
At the Lion - DATIVE
Note here that the dative has absorbed the functions of the locative.
(http://photos-h.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs230.snc1/7726_103777942971116_100000167321792_103150_882615_n.jpg)
Against the Lion - ACCUSATIVE
(http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs230.snc1/7726_103777966304447_100000167321792_103152_895483_n.jpg)
Around the Lion - ACCUSATIVE
(http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs230.snc1/7726_103777976304446_100000167321792_103153_1968416_n.jpg)
With the Lion (cognate German mit) - GENITIVE
Note here that the genitive has absorbed the functions of the instrumental.
(http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs210.snc1/7726_103777992971111_100000167321792_103154_6547451_n.jpg)
Upward against the Lion - ACCUSATIVE
(http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs210.snc1/7726_103778009637776_100000167321792_103155_7426211_n.jpg)
Over (greek Huper, cf. hyper, cognate with German über, Persian abar and Latin super) the Lion - GENITIVE
One would expect to see the dative for a locative term, but it seems that "fixed" locations use the dative, and "movable" locations use the genitive. This is similar to languages that have a locative (at) and locative-terminative (by) case.
(http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs210.snc1/7726_103778029637774_100000167321792_103156_6779597_n.jpg)
Above (literally on the outside of, cf. words like epidermis or epidemic) the Lion - GENITIVE
(http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs210.snc1/7726_103778052971105_100000167321792_103157_3938375_n.jpg)
Downward (as in catastrophe) from the Lion - GENITIVE
The genitive has also taken over the function of the ablative case.
(http://photos-f.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs230.snc1/7726_103778102971100_100000167321792_103158_6717140_n.jpg)
Under the Lion - DATIVE
(http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs230.snc1/7726_103778112971099_100000167321792_103159_2927604_n.jpg)
Into the Lion - ACCUSATIVE
As with all aspects of motion to.
(http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs210.snc1/7726_103778119637765_100000167321792_103160_5580083_n.jpg)
In the Lion - DATIVE
Note the cute swelled belly.
(http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs210.snc1/7726_103778126304431_100000167321792_103161_6116723_n.jpg)
Out of the Lion - GENITIVE
This explains rather intuitively why the genitive is also used for ablative purposes. Had he emerged from the lion's vagina, there would be precisely no difference between the two.
(http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs210.snc1/7726_103778142971096_100000167321792_103162_3111595_n.jpg)
Away from the Lion - GENITIVE
So the lesson learned is that the Greek case system, while simplified from Indo-European, still makes sense; that the subsumption of these cases necessitated prepositions to differentiate cases; and DON'T PLAY WITH A LION.
EDUCATION.
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I just had one of those incredibly rare 500 millisecond flashes of regret that I don't teach linguistics anymore, and can't use that for a class handout.
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I just had one of those incredibly rare 500 millisecond flashes of regret that I don't teach linguistics anymore, and can't use that for a class handout.
Wombat, this is for you: http://www.zazzle.ca/polyamory_is_wrong_tshirt-235838933475364492
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I just had one of those incredibly rare 500 millisecond flashes of regret that I don't teach linguistics anymore, and can't use that for a class handout.
Linguistics is a field that is being choked by its own pomp.
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Wombat, this is for you: http://www.zazzle.ca/polyamory_is_wrong_tshirt-235838933475364492
I want an 'octopi' version of that shirt.
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I want an 'octopi' version of that shirt.
Octopi/Octopodes over a nice rack doesn't have quite the same impact as polyamory/polyphilia though.
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I just had one of those incredibly rare 500 millisecond flashes of regret that I don't teach linguistics anymore, and can't use that for a class handout.
Wombat, correct my memory if it has failed, which is likely, but didn't you teach David Bowie linguistics?
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Octopi/Octopodes over a nice rack doesn't have quite the same impact as polyamory/polyphilia though.
Sounds like you haven't seen enough Japanese porn...
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Sounds like you haven't seen enough Japanese porn...
To the contrary - what I have seen was more than enough...
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Wombat, correct my memory if it has failed, which is likely, but didn't you teach David Bowie linguistics?
Yes. (But not THAT David Bowie, before people get all excited.)
Why do you know this? I know it came up before but I don't remember how or why, and the board search function sucks and I am trying to do ten things in ten different browser windows at the same time at the moment and can't remember how Cort said to search the other way.
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Yes. (But not THAT David Bowie, before people get all excited.)
Why do you know this? I know it came up before but I don't remember how or why, and the board search function sucks and I am trying to do ten things in ten different browser windows at the same time at the moment and can't remember how Cort said to search the other way.
http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,1524.msg30240.html#msg30240
site:touamb.com David Bowie undergraduate student
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http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,1524.msg30240.html#msg30240
site:touamb.com David Bowie undergraduate student
I know you've told me this a million times but as you can imagine, the problem is that when I can't remember it, I can't search for it.
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Ooo, lots of interesting people that I forgot about in that thread. What happened to sjlimmer? And Va?
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Ooo, lots of interesting people that I forgot about in that thread. What happened to sjlimmer? And Va?
Va disappeared right after she had her kid and never came back.
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Wombat, this is for you: http://www.zazzle.ca/polyamory_is_wrong_tshirt-235838933475364492
Mixing Greek and Latin roots is OK. You drive an auto-mobile right?
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Yes but I want to punch people who say "octopi."
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prescriptivist!
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prescriptivist!
Some thing are just beyond the pale.
Actually, it's the hypercorrection thing about it that drives me crazy.
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Yes. (But not THAT David Bowie, before people get all excited.)
Why do you know this? I know it came up before but I don't remember how or why, and the board search function sucks and I am trying to do ten things in ten different browser windows at the same time at the moment and can't remember how Cort said to search the other way.
I didn't remember how it came about on the board, either, but I remember the fact that you did because he was a great professor and I almost switched majors after taking his class. Looking back I wish that I would have.
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http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,1524.msg30240.html#msg30240
site:touamb.com David Bowie undergraduate student
The Nazirite has shorn himself. It's okay, he likes his hair short.