The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: Asherdan on January 14, 2010, 06:13:21 pm
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(http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--k5m636Zb--/m5dvkzj95cd6xl0k4nnx.gif)
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i havent done anything scandalous for money.
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A lot of the nutty stuff I've done was for attention rather than cash. I would have made that streak purely for bragging rights. Yeah, I'm an atttention whore and an exhibitionist. I did accept a $5 bet to eat an Oreo dipped in jalapeno bean dip. After taking the 5, I went back for seconds - which increased the incredulity of the onlookers.
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i once ate two dozen krispy kreme glazed in five minutes because they were free if i could, and i'd have had to pay for them if i couldn't.
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At 200 Calories each, that was a free pound of bodyfat! 1.37 pounds to be more precise.
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I have done so many odd jobs that I honestly don't recall them all anymore. Which was a really problem when I was made to do a high level security check for a place of employment (#21). Let me try and list my jobs, in order of occurrence:
1) flier delivery, 2 years
2) baby sitter for multiple families, occasionally over 6 years
3) dog walker, pet sitter, occasionally, about 3 months total
4) dietary technician @ old folks home = putting food in blender, serving and removing plates, getting ass pinched by horny old dude, less than a month
5) KFC cashier, less than a year
6) discount bookstore staffer, 4 months
7) sample girl - gave out free sugar-based food stuffs, 3 months
8 ) cashier in porn video rental store (under age), 1 month
9) housewares and small appliance sales person @ Wal-mart, 1.5 years
10) used book and comic store staffer, 5 years
11) outdoor art gallery staffer, 5 months (seasonal)
12) AT&T internet dial-up service call centre agent, 6 months
13) stage actor, professionally, two productions, approx 3 months
14) outdoor art gallery assistant manager, 5 months (seasonal)
15) assistant director (film), one film, approximately 1 month
16) director (stage), a dozen + productions, overlapping several other jobs before and after, 10 years
17) freight company file clerk, 6 months, got groped by boss and quit
18) Mastercard call centre agent, 6 months
19) journalist interviewing aboriginal elders, 4 months
20) theatre school program director, almost 5 years
21) office assistant to microbiologist at a level four biology lab, 3 months (I was hired by a good friends husband, totally unqualified and left before I had to order any monkeys)
22) playwright, three productions, over lapping several other jobs before and after, 7 years
23) volunteer, marketing and communication coordinator for an HIV health centre, 6 months, changed my life, would never do it again.
24) community newspaper journalist, on-going freelance work
25) community newspaper contributing editor, one issue, 1.5 months
26) program coordinator for a writing program, 6 mnths
27) community arts tour booking coordinator for music acts, 5 mnths
28) I quit #26 & #27 in the last two weeks (both were part-time), and will start a term position, full-time job at another arts organization in an admin roll next month
29) There is a long term full-time job that is currently in the planning stages at a program that prevents child exploitation which I have already been offered a job with.
Goddamn, I sure would like some constancy in my life.
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I thought I had a varied employment history, but after reading that I feel like an old stick-in-the-mud.
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8 ) cashier in porn video rental store (under age), 1 month
Aww, you edited it. I thought perhaps the experience was sufficiently cool that a smilie was called for.
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At 200 Calories each, that was a free pound of bodyfat! 1.37 pounds to be more precise.
How much is that in Daniels?
At summer camp, I became the first girl in my camps history to swallow a live goldgiraffe, clinching my cabin's victory in the weeklong competition to get the most points (awarded for completing such dares and winning various competitions). And the next year, I became the camp champ by swallowing four of the little suckers -- more than any of the guys who completed the dare. The only guy who swallowed more than one dropped out after the third, then ran to the bathroom and puked them all back up.
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At summer camp, I became the first girl in my camps history to swallow a live goldgiraffe,
Whoa!
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I completely knew this posting was by jay-elle.
I did not have to scroll up to the author line.
It just made sense.
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I completely knew this posting was by jay-elle.
I did not have to scroll up to the author line.
It just made sense.
That's because I run with the wolves.
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well I have done over the phone tech support for various companies. worked in a few factories building stuff. airplanes and tractors. worked as welder for a while. did on site tech support for a while. that job sucked because of the travel, but I got to keep boxes left over cat 5 cable. At my last job I got dental insurance, so I got my cavities fixed. it kinda sucked because the insurance only covered half the cost, and it had an annual limit, so it took 2 years to get most of them fixed. I still have a few 'cause I have cobra still for a few weeks, but being unemployed I can't afford to go for the rest, and I'm gonna have to ditch the cobra too because I can't afford even $80/month :-P. Might have to ditch my car insurance too. that has been the extent of my remuneration pretty much. Going forward, I'm thinking I might try to get in the Peace Corps or something similar. Might find another job too. Might get recalled to my old job, too. Not that they want me back. They'd probably much prefer if they could avoid it. But it's a union thing - they don't have a choice. Within the next year you'd think I'd come up next on the recall list. I have recall rights for about 3 years. Man.. that's a long time to wait to get a job back that you don't want anyway. But it pays $18 an hour. And it has dental insurance.
on a slightly similar tangent, my roommate got fired from the last place I worked because his annual authorization to work paperwork renewal (an alternative to a green card that is granted in some cases when a green card application is pending) got forgotten about by the immigration people. I guess the economy slowed down, so immigration said to themselves 'screw it, we're just gonna file a bunch of paperwork in the dust bin' Sucks 'cause that was a good job for him. So I don't know if he ever got that paperwork fully straightened out or not, because he got a job as an OTR truck driver, and I just got a collect call from him... seems he got pulled over by a cop for something, and the cop called the border patrol (Immigration and Customs Enforcement, aka "ICE") who arrested him for failure to produce evidence of his being authorized to work... I think this might be one of those deals where there isn't even any bond, where you either prove you're innocent or they repatriate you. Amazing stuff. Anyway, my roommate is honest to a fault. He donates money to the 700 club. I guess that's what you get when you make a pact with Pat Robertson.
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Whereas I stop to catch my breath.
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oh yeah, and I forgot to mention, I found a way to make skynet gain sentience. I'm not sure if I will make any money doing that, however.
is that one person with the cat avatar with all the jobs in australia? There's aliens on this board?
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oh yeah, and I forgot to mention, I found a way to make skynet gain sentience. I'm not sure if I will make any money doing that, however.
Come with me if you want to survive make a buck.
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I thought I had a varied employment history, but after reading that I feel like an old stick-in-the-mud.
Where as I see the list as a clear indicator of my need to calm the fuck down.
I have an avid interest in learning about things, and understanding from different perspectives, etc. so I can genuinely say I've valued all of them.
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I've lost all interest in my theatre and writing work at this point, and I've started to feel the ticking of a biological clock I didn't even know I had... I feel a little frantic to establish firm ground before/if I chose to bring a kid into the picture, but who and what am I supposed to be? I don't know.
I've been told many times, by many people that I should be a therapist, basically because I have respect, empathy and interest in most people's experiences. I really want to understand the human experience. Honestly though, having come close to therapy work both interviewing elders and working at the HIV centre I don't want that trauma. I've got enough pain of my own to process. I know I'd be good at it, but I also know I would take it home with me, be unable to distance myself from it, and burn out in ways that would negatively affect those I love.
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I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.... I feel a little frantic to establish firm ground before/if I chose to bring a kid into the picture, but who and what am I supposed to be? I don't know.
I've found that having that "not really a grownup" feeling is actually a pretty good quality in the parent of a young child. One of the great things about parenting is that it lets you rediscover the world.
I'm not trying to give you advice or anything, but bringing a kid into a picture that's not altogether complete is probably preferable to trying to fit a kid somewhere in the corner of a life that's already built. The uncertainty can be rendered into flexibility; a detriment turned into an asset. If that's where your heart is, and if finances aren't a problem, it's easier (though scarier) to have a child when you're already standing on the sand, so you can better mold it into what you need it to be.
Just my $0.02.
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No one is ever grown up enough, or established enough, to be in the perfect place to have a child. Other than untreated mental disease, or raging drug dependency, you just need to have 'em. If that's your thing, that is. If its not, ferchissake don't have them!
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One of the great things about parenting is that it lets you rediscover the world.
That is so incredibly true. I don't have any kids myself, but I lived with a girl for 2 years who had a toddler and I really loved watching her experience things for the first time. Snow, riding a big wheel down a hill, blowing bubbles, water fights with the hose, books I loved as a kid, Disney movies, etc. It really brought the kid out in me.
That is really the only thing I miss about that relationship.
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Come with me if you want to survive make a buck.
heh heh... It occurs to me that there may be some overlap between the practice of law and the practice of stand-up comedy.. : - )
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Where as I see the list as a clear indicator of my need to calm the fuck down.
[...]
I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I've lost all interest in my theatre and writing work at this point, and I've started to feel the ticking of a biological clock I didn't even know I had... I feel a little frantic to establish firm ground before/if I chose to bring a kid into the picture, but who and what am I supposed to be? I don't know.
[...]
The uncertainty can be rendered into flexibility; a detriment turned into an asset
I both agree and disagree with you on this, jay-ell. What you say is correct, but, I think it can still be terribly difficult to be 'standing on sand.' What you say evokes my own 'adhd' experience where I'm never certain of anything, and all I do is respond to whatever stimulus is immediately in front of me at the moment. Yes this can be an advantage, but, it can be a horrible disadvantage too in that there really needs to be some certainty, some sort of structurally sound conception of who you are, and where you're going in your life. If side_show is missing this a little bit, that might be okay, but missing it a whole lot might be a problem.
Perhaps a good compromise would be to adopt instead of have your own kids. That way there is less pressure; if you screw up as a parent, hey, at least you tried, the kid was probably going to grow up in foster care anyway which would have been just as bad if not worse. This rational works best if you pick an ugly kid that was therefore less likely to be picked by someone else.
So if I read you right, side_show, you're wondering how to find meaning in life, how to find out who you are? Well meee-ooowww that is only the most difficult kinda question for anyone, right? But fortunately for you, I'm a god damned genius, and I have all the answers. The problem is that the answers are so simple and obvious that they're impossible to communicate. You can see them easily without understanding them... understanding simple things is the most difficult thing. Well so actually I guess I'm probably not any help. never mind. well no wait, maybe I can enlighten you if we establish a dialogue. let's see... what are your fears and hopes and dreams and what is your perception of the meaning of life (if any) currently.
fvrat
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and what do you see in the above ascii blot?
also, have you ever murdered anyone, and are you willing to murder anyone? Because if this really works, it'll result in us killing the side_show you know. I'm ready to do it for you, but you have to help me; you have to want to die...
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Perhaps a good compromise would be to adopt instead of have your own kids. That way there is less pressure; if you screw up as a parent, hey, at least you tried, the kid was probably going to grow up in foster care anyway which would have been just as bad if not worse. This rational works best if you pick an ugly kid that was therefore less likely to be picked by someone else.
that part of your post is the epitome complete idiocy. adopting a kid isnt like adopting a dog. if parents screw up with a kid, its morally and legally the same, whether the kid came from their loins or not.
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I think he's just being funny, GKA.
Rough chuckles, but I grinned.
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heh heh... It occurs to me that there may be some overlap between the practice of law and the practice of stand-up comedy.. : - )
Abso-frickin-lutely.
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I think he's just being funny, GKA.
Rough chuckles, but I grinned.
boo at i sometimes i take the internet too seriously.
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boo at i sometimes i take the internet too seriously.
Maybe you were picking up on some element of honesty in my statement. Honestly, I probably do believe that statement to some degree. I don't have much of any conception of the implications of raising a kid. I wouldn't even know how to raise a dog. I have enough problems with my cats. All I know is that most people have some pretty f'ed up ideas about raising kids. If I did have a kid, probably by the age of 9 the kid would be a lot smarter than me in most respects.
I bet at some point we'll have artificial intelligence that can raise kids for you. That would rock. Then maybe people would finally grow up smart enough to stop having kids. Having kids is great and all, but with the world's population as it is, you have to admit that at some point in the not too distant future the world will be literally out of room. Kids are like a new sofa. You don't move the new sofa into the living room until you've figured out what you're going to do with the old sofa. Otherwise you have two sofas in a living room and then when the cat tears open the garbage and you run after him screaming, he can run around the sofas and you can't catch him to spank him on the hiney because there's sofas all over the place.
(http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/features/brains-of-babes/images/harry-harlow.jpg)
"Harry Harlow with baby Rhesus monkey and it's wire frame surrogate mother." (http://www.cbc.ca/ideas/features/brains-of-babes/index.html)
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as a dude who isn't having kids i usually don't profess an opinion, but the thought of parentbots frightens me
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Harry Harlow & Bill Murray - separated at birth?
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As a student I've done WAY too much of this for food-money. Students love WACKY OH SO RANDOM behaviour.
Normally they are physical feats with guaranteed (and possibly lots of) pain. Worst ones were jumping off a bridge for a cereal bar (cut my right side of my body up terrible on the rocks with over 18 miles hiking still to go that night), going down a 45 degree sodden hill populated with rocks and a fence at the bottom in a bivvy bag for a fiver (cut up my hands but survived pretty well. Hitting the fence was brilliant. It was like dying as a mercy, immense short burst of pain to end ongoing intense pain) and leaping into a stinking, filthy bog which went up to my shoulders before I stopped sinking. Nothing worse than the initial SPLASH taking you up to your hips, and then sinking ever so slowly into what you think's your death. That was for a pint but I earned multiple ones for that.
Easiest one: someone offered me a tenner to eat a bowl of cereal with the liquid being wine, advocaat, lager, cider, chocolate milk and whisky. Easy money.
Oh actually worst one was walking into a service station wearing nothing but high heels, boxers and a cowboy hat. I got £30 but almost got stabbed, had to say I was being filmed for a comedy. The gruff Scottish lady at the checkout called me a poof.
Aaand I'm sure you've heard enough to never want to spend any time in my company or otherwise associate yourselves with me.
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See the thread re: queers to find out why I have to go take a cold shower now.
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See the thread re: queers to find out why I have to go take a cold shower now.
Also, many other threads where JL professes undying Mrs Robinsonesque crushes on Judy. A perfect storm of arousing imagery no doubt.
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I admit it: I have a crush on every boy.
And most girls.
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I admit it: I have a crush on every boy.
And most girls.
Well now I feel far less special.
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You're special, Judy, because you're the only one here young enough to make me feel dirty about it.