The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: arkabee on August 18, 2010, 12:08:38 am
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"hey man, you coming out tonight?"
'i can't, diego is on and i have to find out what happens to this fuck*ng llama, you know? otherwise, repercussions.'
"the boy'll throw a fit?"
'no. the boy is at his nana's. um. oh shit the bobos are back. bye.'
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I think I understand a little bit of that.
Also, the tooth is back!
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Yay for Arkabee's return. I didn't understand a word of that you wrote.
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I not only understood it all, I live and breathe it daily.
Anybody else want to punch the bobo brothers in the throat?
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I didn't understand a word of that you wrote.
this isn't meant creepy, but i swear to god about 2 years ago i dreamt of your mustache.
diego is the male-version of dora the explorer. supposedly her cousin, but i think he's just a god damned knock off. this kid is kinda a douche bag.
like, dora's backpack has crayons. right? and some string.
diego's is apparently powered by nanotech and turns into a fuck*ng hydrofoil at will.
and he's all nonchalant about it.
but i digress.
anyways, when someone calls me, on the phone, to ask me to leave the house,
but i can't leave,
because i'm caught up in the middle of an episode of diego and _fuck*ng need_ to know what happens to the llama diego is riding on,
and the boy isn't the one raptured by the show,
well,
i'm no longer cool at that moment.
sure, if it's Chowder, i can pretend i'm tripping a flashback and still de fuego and all,
but diego?
non.
and jl, yes, the bobos are like goofus and gallant sans gallant plus doofus.
swiper, he makes _sense_. he's driven, man.
but the bobos, i think they huff paint maybe.
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Okay, thanks for the Diego explanation. Now I'm wondering what Chowder is, if you are not referring to a type of soup.
And I'm not creeped out by your dream. My moustache thinks you're a stalker though. :P
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Yeah, I dig me some Chowder. Also Flapjack.
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Yeah, fuck the Bobos. Troublemaking shits. Astonishing, though, that you just yell "Freeze!" at them, and they stop whatever they were fuck*ng up and apologize. Really? You have no qualms about, I don't know, messing with Diego's zip line, potentially sending him plummeting a hundred feet to his death, but as soon as someone says "Freeze!" you realize the error of your ways and slink off?
Not unlike how unbelievable it is that the Machines stop attacking Zion because of a deal they made with Neo. Who is now dead. So, you were about to kill off all of free humanity, and that was fine, but now you have to keep your word to a dead guy?
Also: Kai Lan = Chinese Dora.
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I dreamed just the other night that I met Paul and he had shaved his mustache and I was sad that I didn't get to touch it after all these years. Paul, if you decide to take a bet, do not bet your mustache. It will make your imaginary friends sad if you lose.
Also: Kai Lan = Chinese Dora.
Except that Kai Lan is cute and doesn't yell all the time.
My girlface prefers Diego over Dora, which I have to say is fine with me. She actually learns, you know, stuff about animals, which is pretty darn endearingly precocious in a two and a half year old. (She greeted me this morning, with, "Hi, mommy polar bear! Let's go jump on the ice floes!" Also, she frequently suggests that we use echolocation to determine which path to take, which is WAY cooler than consulting a singing map.)
But yeah, I have been known to actively steer the kids towards the Wonderpets because I'm dying to know what kind of trouble the Baby Chameleon has gotten himself into and how the WPs will save him. And I don't turn it off if the kids leave the room.
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Except that Kai Lan is cute and doesn't yell all the time.
My kids are in active revolt against Dora. They call her... not a "slave driver," that's not the term, but they basically say "She's always telling you to do stuff, like you're her servant." I remind them that Dora always ASKS them if they'll help, and they could say no. It's gotten to the point that we got rid of a bunch of Dora toys the other day (which is just fine by me).
I push them to Yo Gabba Gabba, of course, because I am an aging parental hipster doofus.
As long as I'm bitching about kids' TV: Special Agent Oso can drive a car and walk in space, but he needs help knowing how to brush his teeth? WTF? I hate that stupid bear.
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Also Flapjack.
Thank you. Yes. Flapjack was cancelled on this side of the border on Cartoon Networks shoddy Canadian cousin of a station (Teletoon) after the first season, so I thought it was just one of those short sweet things that got buried under all the crap out there, but upon some looking, I see that they're now on their third season now, so it sounds like it's time for some downloading. The husband will be pleased. He loooooooved the first season. I'm excited to see more of the ominous Candy Wife.
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'Los, if you are raising kids who would think to throw off the chains of oppression from a cartoon, you deserve a tiny can of Dr. Pepper.
So here is one.
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I will, however, always keep an eye on Wow Wow Wubbzy just to see what [NAME]-3000 invention Widget will later say "Ohhh, that's not supposed to happen" about. I always say the key line with her.
BoyThing has started naming things the [Whatever]-3000. He was terrified of my stand mixer until I started calling it "The Mixinator 3000," and now he thinks it's cool and wants me to make cookies all the time. (He doesn't eat the cookies, he just likes to help make them.)
Special Agent Oso is all but unknown in this house, because we don't have cable. The kids have played a couple of Oso games on Playhouse Disney's website, but they gravitate towards Bunnytown (win) and, of course, Mickey penis Clubhouse of Awkward Pauses and Forced Comedic Situations.
My kids are a bit young for it, but we're trying to push them towards Phineas and Ferb (http://www.youtube.com/user/phineasandferbsongs?blend=2&ob=4#p/u/8/zxF4xDbh5TI). Probably the best series to come out of Disney since Walt died, if you haven't seen it yet it's worth a look.
Also, Carlos, if your kids are rebelling against being told what to do, you've got bigger problems than whether or not they like Dora.
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i am not cool when...
i actively spend part of my day worrying that tollee's obsession with panda bears is unhealthy for him.
seriously, tollee, dude... dude. DUDE!
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Also, Carlos, if your kids are rebelling against being told what to do, you've got bigger problems than whether or not they like Dora.
We have instituted an allowance, which is dependent on their completing simple chores, and on their getting ready for bed in a timely fashion (and come Sept. 7, getting ready for school in a timely fashion). So they are fine being told what to do, so long as there is financial gain involved. That is to say, we are preparing them well for their future as tools of the capitalist machine.
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We have instituted an allowance, which is dependent on their completing simple chores, and on their getting ready for bed in a timely fashion (and come Sept. 7, getting ready for school in a timely fashion). So they are fine being told what to do, so long as there is financial gain involved. That is to say, we are preparing them well for their future as tools of the capitalist machine.
My parents never gave me an allowance, nor did I have set chores to do. (It was more of a "come help me with this" whenever I was foolish enough to hang around nearby when Mom was doing housework.) And when I wanted something, they either bought it for me or explained to me why it wasn't a good idea for me to have it.
This is probably why I'm a government-loving socialist now.
From each according to his ability, to each according to his need...and let Big Brother tell you what's good for you, if you know what's good for you...
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I'm not cool when I call in sick to work, then spend most of my time in my sick bed thinking about work, solving work-related problems and otherwise working things out for work, rather than... you know watching cartoons.
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I'm not cool when I promised to read a friend's script for him promptly and then I stayed up all night listening to "Perfect from Now On" and watching little internet films making fun of bad movies.
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I'm not cool when I ... stayed up all night listening to "Perfect from Now On"
DOES NOT COMPUTE!
ERROR ON LINE STOP MAKING THAT SOUND
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I saw Built to Spill last year. Brett Nelson (I think) said "here's a game where people guess who's on Doug's shirt" - it was Vonnegut, but people were shouting shit like Jerry Garcia (Doug's response? "Who is Larry Garcia?"). I couldn't hear what he said, but then my wife told me later. I went up to the stage where they are all dicking around after the show, and I shook Doug's hand and said "Kurt Vonnegut" and he told me I won and gave me a drumstick.
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i am not cool when i get my ass handed to me by a 3 year old girl after an entire afternoon of lets-go-look-at-field-corn-and-stomp-the-remnants-of-the-stalks-into-the-ground/piggy-back ride adventure/looking for squirrels/tag/hide-and-go-seek.
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Well then maybe you should make some friends your own age, dude.
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I am not cool when I am half delirious from an ear infection.
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... I'm cleaning up blight-riddled, rotten tomatoes and have slug get on my hand and dance around on the spot going "eww, eww, ewwwww!"
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You are all cool in your own way.
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I am not cool when I am watching the entire six season run of Leave it to Beaver and enjoying it immensely.
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... when i pedantically explain to my neighbor that douches are for pu$$ys and enemas are for colons.
he was not cool either.
not a very cool moment, altogether.
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Technically, couldn't you say that douchebags are for pussies and enemas are for assholes?
Is there a slang term for enema-related paraphernalia that doubles as an insult? If so, there may be some cleverness in that conversation yet.