The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: pmcd9 on June 29, 2011, 06:38:57 am
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File this under crazy thoughts that cross my mind. This actually came to me when I saw a kid, or maybe he was a junkie, walking down the street today wearing a hoodie in 97 degree weather. I can't explain exactly why my mind jumped from that kid to why we wear clothes, but that's what happened.
For me, I've never given the subject that much consideration beyond what I was told as a child. That we wear clothes because we are ashamed. Shame being introduced into the world in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve partook of the fruit of knowledge.
While I understand that Shame and the subsequent indecency laws are a major factor why we wear clothes, I'm sure there must be more to it than that. I haven't googled it, I prefer to get my knowledge from the geniuses in this room.
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Because lots of powerful men have small c*cks?
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I think because we have longer and more complex lives than any animal in history, we need changable and evolvable constant physical displays of our statuses and tribal affiliations.
Our selves, our society and the arc of our physical lives are too fluctuating and fluid for tattoos or piercing to get the jobs down. Paint too cheap and easy for anyone to copy by any old schmuck. So we developed the need to have a second skin to protect us from the elements in certain situations into the mixed psycho-social bag of signifiers we call "clothes" and it stuck.
Throw in clothing's ability to mask whatever is considered a physical flaw in that society with enough time/money put into the clothing and/or artificially enhance whatever is considered a physical advantage in that society with enough time/money and you got yourself one hell of a tool of social interaction. Before we had a facebook or a myspace where we could use as our physical interface a literal list of our preferences, we had clothing as our primary physical display of encoded social traits.
We wear clothing because it gives us a social shorthand to communicate to all what we value and to whom we are allied without even speaking a word, even though it was originally to protect our dicks from pointy branches and whatnot.
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We didn't want to die in the cold and we're bad at breaking habits. Also when the first people put on raggedy furs there was due who had a slightly nicer fur and we're all still chasing that horizon.
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Pockets.
Jesus, people.
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I'm constantly surprised that my female colleagues often have no pockets at all. Or worse non-functional pockets. What the hell, people?
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I'm constantly surprised that my female colleagues often have no pockets at all. Or worse non-functional pockets. What the hell, people?
Dovetails nicely: your female colleagues should be naked.
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I'm constantly surprised that my female colleagues often have no pockets at all. Or worse non-functional pockets. What the hell, people?
That's why they carry purses. The female species hasn't mastered pockets yet.
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I thought the purses were for handguns and narcotics. That's what the women I know use them for.
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That's why they carry purses. The female species hasn't mastered pockets yet.
We would if your $^&%#*& male clothing designers would give us some!
Seriously, I am at the point where, no matter how much I love a pair of #####, I will not buy them if they (a) require dry-cleaning or (b) lack pockets.
I think we wear clothes to keep dirt out of our junk.
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I have said this before: Sometime women are our own worst enemies. If we refuse to buy ##### with no pockets, they will stop offering them. Lack of pockets, which forces women to carry a purse, which they then have to constantly be keeping track of because it's full of valuables - it is one of the ways they keep women down. Don't let them do it.
As for the first question: Only someone who lives in Texas would ask this. As Doc says, it is originally obviously so we don't fuck*ng freeze to death. But Nabu is also right: once pockets were discovered, even in hot places people realized they should do this thing.
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I feel the need to point out that lots of people in warm places didn't wear (many) clothes until we started making them.
much? many?
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c*ck gourds.
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I have said this before: Sometime women are our own worst enemies. If we refuse to buy ##### with no pockets, they will stop offering them. Lack of pockets, which forces women to carry a purse, which they then have to constantly be keeping track of because it's full of valuables - it is one of the ways they keep women down. Don't let them do it.
I have tried to get all the other women in the universe to get with me on this, but for some reason, I haven't been able to convince them. Something about "fashion" and "clean silhouettes." I don't get it.
Don't forget, though that in addition to keeping us down by making us always be worried about where our purse is, they've also upgraded the purse from its utilitarian purpose to "fashion accessory," requiring us to own more than one, preferably an expensive name brand. They're getting our hard-earned, $0.75 on the $1 wages, too.
My only solace is that the rise of "messenger bags" and other forms of the ManPurse means that a whole generation of young dudes is bound to be nearly as downtrodden as us ladies. Maybe if they develop anxiety disorders worrying about their bags, by the time my peers and I are old enough to be considered "cougars" they'll be easy prey.
Then we (women over 30) will rule the world. ;D
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Don't forget, though that in addition to keeping us down by making us always be worried about where our purse is, they've also upgraded the purse from its utilitarian purpose to "fashion accessory," requiring us to own more than one, preferably an expensive name brand. They're getting our hard-earned, $0.75 on the $1 wages, too.
Oh, I totally get this, because even I own like a dozen purses even though I only carry one a few times a year when I have to wear a dress. Most of my dresses have pockets, even, but a few without pockets have somehow managed to circumvent the rules.
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JL, you are way too optimistic (pessimistic?) about messenger bags.
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Today I am wearing three items of clothes, plus underwear, none of which have pockets. I'm wearing a skirt today, and it is rare to find a skirt with pockets. Or most dresses for that matter. I typically carry a file folder briefcase bag, but I still prefer to have my keys and cell phone in my pockets to prevent digging around and/or fumbling.
As for why we wear clothes, for where I live the climate demands it. The weather swings too dramatically from hot to cold so our bodies are never fully adjusted to one or the other and need protection. Also, sitting with your bare ass on things is very uncomfortable. I've tried doing so enough times to know this is a fact.
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Yeah, vinyl chairs are a bitch if you ain't got ##### on.
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also, its easier to keep things clean since undies and ##### catch the brunt of our lower functions.
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That's what I was getting at. Even if you live in a warm climate, who wants to sit on the sand with nothing on your crotch?
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That's what I was getting at. Even if you live in a warm climate, who wants to sit on the sand with nothing on your crotch?
youre correct, but i was referring to public surfaces, such as barstools and park benches.
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That's what I was getting at. Even if you live in a warm climate, who wants to sit on the sand with nothing on your crotch?
Or in the grass for that matter - there's always a twig, rock or a bit-y bug or something. I suppose instead of being soft and tender, one's ass would become calloused over time though. Not that that's a desirable thing either.
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Personally -- and this might just be me -- even if I'm wearing a skirt and under#####, I still worry about bugs getting in my vajayjay.
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Personally -- and this might just be me -- even if I'm wearing a skirt and under#####, I still worry about bugs getting in my vajayjay.
In general? Because that might be something you want to talk to someone about.
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I feel the need to point out that lots of people in warm places didn't wear (many) clothes until we started making them.
much? many?
Ain't you ever seen Nat'l Geo? Those people balance all their belongings on their heads.
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In general? Because that might be something you want to talk to someone about.
No, just when sitting on the grass in a skirt.
Which I think is somewhat reasonable -- what's to stop an ant from just marching on in? Would I even know?
Skeeves me out. You wouldn't understand, you've got your junk on the outside after all. But really, do you want your wang waving around loose when there are mosquitoes in the air?
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I got a messenger bag.
You can't keep a laptop or a Bristol sketch pad in a wallet, dig.
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No, just when sitting on the grass in a skirt.
Which I think is somewhat reasonable -- what's to stop an ant from just marching on in? Would I even know?
Skeeves me out. You wouldn't understand, you've got your junk on the outside after all. But really, do you want your wang waving around loose when there are mosquitoes in the air?
Reminds me I got to make plans to get to Sauvie Island (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collins_Beach_(Sauvie_Island)) this year.
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Skeeves me out. You wouldn't understand, you've got your junk on the outside after all. But really, do you want your wang waving around loose when there are mosquitoes in the air?
I once had to explain to a gay man how semen leaves a woman's pu$$y - "gravity." He thought it just stayed in there unless it came out with a baby or got menstruated or douched out. I then had to explain what douche was for, since he thought that that was the purpose of douching. I'm not googling this, but I'm guessing that the dude was whatever the male equivalent of a Gold Star lesbian is. Clearly women's pu$$ys only existed as a theory to him.
I never worry about ants or bugs getting in, but when wearing a skirt I've been bitten on the butt enough times to know it isn't good. I do occasionally go commando under a skirt, and the feeling of the breeze on my bits is a tad alarming for that brief moment before I remind myself that I'm wearing a skirt. There's that flash of "oh no - I forgot my dungarees!" before I remember myself. I've had nightmares where I've forgotten my clothes, which I guess is where that fear comes from, as I don't think I've ever forgotten to get dressed in my waking life.
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Damn, I won't even buy pajamas if they don't have pockets. The concept of pocketless ##### just boggles the mind. I have a female friend that owns pocketless jeans. The fuck? The whole purpose of jeans is to be cheap and durable. "Silhouettes" and shit do not even enter into the equation.
vajayjay
I may have to slap you the next time I see you. This is how much I hate that term.
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There is nothing wrong with buying jeans based on how they look... but jeans without pockets look really stupid.
When I look at a butt without butt-pockets, it is like my brain can't process the shape of the butt. It is really disappointing.
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The whole purpose of jeans is to be cheap and durable. "Silhouettes" and shit do not even enter into the equation.
Where you are wrong about this is that a properly fitting normal pair of jeans - with pockets - is possibly the most attractive garment that a person can wear. AND it's practical.
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I'll be the voice of dissent here. My wife's can looks fantastic in snug slacks without pockets. Of course, it also looks fantastic in jeans. And then in a skirt (of course no pockets) her hips look terrific.
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Who remembers those jeans with the zipper all the way from front to back, up through the hams - as it were?
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How about this one?
http://www.alleewillis.com/awmok/hair/walking-turn-un
(I just saw this today, and I can't remember where it was linked from. If someone posted it on TOUAMB earlier, just kick me in the shins.)
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I remember seeing an ad in the back of Rolling Stone magazine many years ago for a pair of ##### that had an affordance for the male member. It was like a glove for your dick.
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Found 'em: Rag City Blues
(http://s.ecrater.com/stores/22993/4629770fd9964_22993n.jpg)
Good image of the idea
(http://tightjeans.co/gal1/Images/1.jpg)
Good image of the implementation.
God bless the Internet!
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I....
....don't remember ever seeing those. But now I sort of want a pair.
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I shudder to think of 4-7yr olds wearing those, JL.
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At first I thought these sort of ##### would be useful for sex trade workers, but then I thought about how unpleasent it would be to try to do the deed while working around zipper teeth, and I decided that they are instead totally functionless.
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You could always peel them back down to the knees. It could work.
Jaydub, I had a brother and cousins ranging from 8 - 15 years older than me, and I sometimes hung out with them and their friends. So I'm more well-versed in 80's fashion and culture than most people born at the tail end of the '70s, so I find it kind of surprising that I never saw jeans like those anywhere. I didn't mean I expected to see them at grade school.
Then again, my brother's friends were mainly churchgoing types, and even if one of my cousins had owned a pair, my aunts certainly wouldn't have let them wear it to a family gathering.