The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: Asherdan on July 26, 2011, 10:30:24 pm
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I usually just do "Sorry, he's not here," and hang the fuck up.
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I do "sorry, there's nobody here by that name" whenever somebody calls and asks for me by my maiden name. Unfortunately, the longer our marriage continues, the less often I get that one. Not having a landline helps, though, as my cell is unlisted and also on the Do Not Call registry.
I also don't open the door unless the front drapes are open and it's obvious that I'm sitting on my couch ten feet from the front door. If I do have to answer, I pull the "Oh, gee, you'd have to talk to my husband, he makes all the decisions about this kind of thing" deal, and if they keep pressing, I say, "He'll be home after 6, can you come back then?" If they do bother to come back, he gives 'em the quick brush-off.
Sometimes one of the kids helps out by screaming in the background while I'm trying to shoo someone off the porch or phone. Then I can say, "Gotta go, bye!" and slam the door/phone.
Exception: a couple of weeks ago, some girls from the neighborhood came by selling refrigerator magnets they made themselves for $1 apiece. We were so impressed with their entrepreneurial spirit, we bought a few and wished them luck. That was pretty cool.
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I do "sorry, there's nobody here by that name" whenever somebody calls and asks for me by my maiden name.
We don't have the same last name, so that's what I mostly say when we get calls asking to speak to Mrs Tech Staff or Mr Wombat. But if they say to me "Is this Mrs Tech Staff?" I've taken to answering "Not exactly" or "Sort of." It disorients the caller nicely.
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I don't feel much obligation to be more than minimally courteous with unsolicited callers.
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I haven't shot any yet.
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When I was young and didn't know about such scams, I went to what I thought was a job interview for "charity fundraising." The guy told who set up the interview over the phone told me that I would be interviewed and, if successful, would also have to pass a "practical test." I arrived wearing uncomfortable, but stylish shoes that a young lady might wear to a job interview, and a skirt even though it was chilly out. I was asked a few non-questions, then taken on the road, dumped with a bunch of hapless chumps like me into a neighbourhood and told to partner up with the equally young "employees" and ring doorbells with my partner to fund-raise and that the guy who dumped us there would be back in six hours. We were told this was a test and that if we were successful we would be hired to do this and get a cut, I instantly knew wasn't interested in such a type of work. So why did I willingly get in the van to begin with? The guy moved fast, and I was told I was going to the second part of the interview, and this involved an elevator ride and everyone immediately getting into a vehicle. It all happened quickly and intentionally ambiguously. The kid I was paired with was already "hired" and it was his first day of trying to make some money, and I had no change for a bus ride home or any idea of where I had been dropped off other than it being the depths of some unknown part of suburbia. It only occurs to me now as the memory was triggered that the entire thing was a scam. Not only was I scammed into going door to door, but clearly the "donations" were fraudulent. We were told to adjust what we were supposedly canvassing for based on the appearance of the person who answered the door, and had laminated logos of legitimate charities to show people. I remember being so fuck*ng pissed off at the guy who finally picked us up, as I was very cold and in a lot of pain from the bad shoes and not at all interested in the "job" of collecting "charity donations" door to door for commission only. I let him know this, and and he he had heated seats, which was equally creepy, but at that point I didn't care - I just wanted to get back to some place familiar and go home. In the end, I'm pretty lucky that I only got roped into a days worth of semi-organized criminal activity, rather than, say, sexual slavery or something, but it sure was easy to trick the teenaged me into getting into a car and being driven somewhere unfamiliar and dumped.
Anyway, I feel bad for people going door to door for commissions. I don't give them any of my time, but I don't treat them like shit because I was once briefly tricked in to such a situation and know just how horrible it is and how exploited most of the folks doing such work are.