The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: littlefallsmets on January 01, 2013, 02:48:15 am
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Today I'm gonna make 2013 Resolutions:
finish a novel
kiss at least one beautiful woman tenderly full on the mouth
find a day job
kiss at least one beautiful woman tenderly full on the mouth
figure out if I should go to grad school or not
kiss at least one beautiful woman tenderly full on the mouth
visit Brooklyn
kiss at least one beautiful woman tenderly full on the mouth
visit LA
kiss at least one beautiful woman tenderly full on the mouth
perform at least once as the lead singer of a rehearsed full band either as Screaming Viking or as Velvet Waltz
kiss at least one beautiful woman tenderly full on the mouth
start a web comic
kiss at least one beautiful woman tenderly full on the mouth
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My folks came over to keep me company on NYE. We ate sweet potato pie and watched The Maze (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Maze_%281953_film%29). It was pretty good. Then we drank sparkling wine and watched the NYE artcar parade on television. Then we drank sparkling wine (http://www.flickr.com/photos/pmcd9/8332052563/in/photostream/lightbox/).
Happy New Year!!!
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Today I'm gonna make 2013 Resolutions:
Are those resolutions, or goals? Now I am confused.
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I don't do resolutions, but this year I am sitting down with spouse and writing specific, measurable, attainable, realistic goals in the areas of mental, physical, social, spiritual, career, and creative. My youngest is starting Kindergarten in half a year and I have several paths laid out in front of me; I want to do some carpeing of the diems to come so I'm trying to figure out which one I'm gonna walk down so I can position myself to start sprinting down it when the time is right.
Should we have a resolutions & goals thread?
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Yes!
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Wombat resolves to use her awesome power only for good, even if it means she sometimes splits not quite the right set of messages into a new thread. This also includes resolving to make sure her imaginary characters post more on the board in the new year.
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I don't do resolutions either but the other day I decided the problem was that I didn't have any Daruma dolls with one eye filled in. The custom is that you color in one eye when you start a project, and the other when you meet a goal. Like this. (http://www.flickr.com/photos/wombatarama/5589909885/in/photostream/)
So I went online and ordered three of them. I never had three at once, so I may be in over my head. This is what I am working toward this year:
1. get another book published.
2. get my dog training certification
3. get a paying assignment to write something about Japan
(2) will take longer than a year but 1 and 3 I would like to actually happen this year. I have more than one book I am shopping around. And there are only so many travel publications to pitch so it should only take a few months to do all that and figure out if it's going to be yes or no.
I thought about getting another for the goal of getting my Japanese up to a useful level but I'm going to call that part of 3.
This is all going to proceed really slowly till I get the cast off my arm though, because now I'm getting tendinitis or something in my other wrist from using it too much in weird ways. So I'm saying they're my goals starting in the Year of the Snake. And I should stop typing now.
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This is it. The year I:
1. Figure it out
2. kiss beautiful women
3. rule the world
4. get a "real job"
But actually, I am going to figure out how much gas I use driving to and from work, and if the numbers work out I'm going to start taking the bus. This could save money, is good for the environment, will force me to plan ahead, etc. We'll see.
More conservatively, this buying lunch at work everyday has got to stop. Need to start cooking lunch again.
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I guess I am nitpicking but I think something like "finish novel/get job" is a goal and "take the bus" is a resolution. Right? Maybe because one has a point when it is finished and the other never ends?
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"grab life by the nips" is kind of a generic idea, but i need to do more of it.
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get debt free. i'm damned close already, just the last couple months of student loan payments and my sole credit card. maybe i'll buy a car.
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Around here is it indeed cheaper to take the bus in absolute dollars, but the amount of your life you give up in wacky detours and gerrymandering routes is almost never worth it.
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Same here. The busses run, generally, from poor neighborhoods to crappy strip malls. There are very few stops in places where middle-class people actually work or shop.
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I gotta lose some goddamn weight. I feel lousy.
Otherwise, things are pretty good.
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I would like to make one comment on a couple of these lists: what do you have against less than beautiful women?
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I tend to find women extremely beautiful when they want to kiss me.
The bus system here sucks too, but there is a relatively direct route to my job from my house.
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That's just my short-hand less-clinical classier way of saying "women I would like to bone".
"Beautiful" just sounds less coarse than "I would like to bone".
Traditional sense of beauty is not what I am talking about at all.
I am told I have an odd sense of what I find beautiful in women, insofar as a lot of the women I am most attracted to would be considered to be freakishly tall and/or slightly heavy and/or have weird noses in comparison to the mainstream American media sense of what is a beautiful lady.
I am mostly saying that I would like to kiss women I would like to bone in the hopes that maybe after a couple of weeks or months of kissing I would then also start boning them.
But you know. That sounds chauvinist and coarse in a manner that I do not actually intend.
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I think that sounds less offensive than sounding like you are only interested in beautiful women.
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This year I am only going to kiss ugly broads with bad attitudes.
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that gets 1000 cans as soon as I remember my password to get to the admin page.
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I only kiss beautiful women because all women are beautiful.
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It's been a couple years since I've been serious about debt reduction, so that's a major deal this year. I have two credit cards I need to pay off and also need to look at refinancing my auto loan. That's not all of it but would be a huge improvement. Question for you financially responsible adults. I've been lousy about building up an emergency fund but pretty good at saving for retirement (especially considering that I didn't make a single good financial decision until I was 27). I'm going to continue to contribute 10% or so to my 401k (and I have a really good company match on top of that), but should I focus the rest of my "saving" solely on paying down credit cards or should I also work on an emergency fund?
I need to lose weight. So I resolve to eat less but more frequently and more vegetables and stuff. I also need to find a sport I can participate in because I enjoy playing but generally hate exercising.
I resolve to take the train to work at least 3 days a week. This includes walking about a mile to the nearest stop.
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should I focus the rest of my "saving" solely on paying down credit cards or should I also work on an emergency fund?
Assuming the credit cards carry interest, I'd pay those down first. You'll reduce the amount you pay in interest over the long term. The amount you would earn in interest on a savings account these days is basically nothing, so building up savings first doesn't really help you.
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Lose 15 lbs, so as to be able to send the gnar. I already work out in pretty much every spare hour, so it is going to have to be from restraint. I think I could get the full 15 from beer alone, but I don't want to say goodbye to it altogether. I already don't eat sweets, i guess I could cut out red meat to some extent, or possibly pizza and bread and pasta will get me the rest of the way. Maybe I need to work in more cardio and skip a few hours of climbing. I guess I also want to gear up for long approaches, and work on my endurance, so that couldn't hurt.
Work on timing, so as to stop being late everywhere and to everything. I've made this one before, at intervals more frequent than years. This time I am working on it from the angle of expectations. My expectations of what I can accomplish in some amount of time might be higher than is reasonable.
Get a new job, or huge raise. Because I need more money.
Re-evaluate every aspect of my lifestyle and see if I really want it. Toss everything I don't.
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Re-evaluate every aspect of my lifestyle and see if I really want it. Toss everything I don't.
I am doing this with my physical stuff. It is mentally exhausting.
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I am really enjoying the process of getting rid of clothes. I have realized I am way more satisfied by having, for instance, one winter coat that I think is really awesome, instead of a bunch of cheap thrifted ones that kind of don't fit. Also, I get compliments on my lumberjack coat every time I wear it. So that feels nice.
My mom's thing about getting rid of crap is "one grocery bag at a time." She has some sort of schedule (one a day? one a week?) and says it is nice because it is such a manageable amount that nonetheless makes a big dent over time.
I have realized that what I really need to get rid of is books and records. Boo to that. I have been looking into grad schools, which makes the "oh god I'll have to move" panic start setting in.
JL-- UNC has one of the top urban planning programs, while also letting in more than half of their applicants. Maybe one day I will show up in your store. In-state tuition is calling my name.
I realized that since I still have my school ID, I can get a free bus pass from one of my friends who is still in school and pretend to be a student. This pushes me over the edge, I am going to start taking the bus to work at least a few days a week. Although maybe this is a cop-out, since I would not be financially supporting the bus system?
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I should be doing this sort of thing but since I'm not supposed to lift anything with my broken wrist I've had a legitimate excuse. Check back next week.
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I am really enjoying the process of getting rid of clothes. I have realized I am way more satisfied by having, for instance, one winter coat that I think is really awesome, instead of a bunch of cheap thrifted ones that kind of don't fit. Also, I get compliments on my lumberjack coat every time I wear it. So that feels nice.
I did a thing on 1/1/2012 in which I turned all the hangers in my closet backwards. Then, when I wore something, when I hung it back up I put back in the right way. Fast forward to 1/1/2013: Anything still backwards, I haven't worn in a year, and I have to ask myself if I really need it. (I haven't done the actual purging part yet though. Maybe this weekend.)
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I've heard of this, but it doesn't work for formal wear (which I might not have worn this year but will sorely miss when someone I know gets married) or if you're changing sizes (I plan to lose 20 lbs this year; the stuff I'm wearing now won't even fit by next December, but it'll be on right-way-round hangers anyway).
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- Find an apartment to rent and finally live alone.
- Start boxing
- Do a full medical exam
- Try to salvage my teeth
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I am doing this with my physical stuff. It is mentally exhausting.
Me too. Ain't it the truth. It's draining. Just a thought, I wonder if this might be connected to your dream life.
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I did a thing on 1/1/2012 in which I turned all the hangers in my closet backwards. Then, when I wore something, when I hung it back up I put back in the right way. Fast forward to 1/1/2013: Anything still backwards, I haven't worn in a year, and I have to ask myself if I really need it. (I haven't done the actual purging part yet though. Maybe this weekend.)
This tactic would work for me if I did laundry any earlier than I absolutely had to. NEW YEARS RESOLUTION: START DOING LAUNDRY ON REGULAR BASIS.
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I am still setting goals and stuff (I figure I have until my birthday to plan and institute Project JL-2013) but this is sort of what I have so far:
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Mental - work through this book I have that helps you organize your house and life, one room at a time, in 12 months. (I did part of it last year, but Pedro read it over the holidays and has agreed to work through it with me.)
Physical - Run a 5K. (I have an training-program app; the hardest part about this is going to be scheduling time to run every week.)
Social - ? ? ?
Spiritual - I'm keeping a "Thankfulness journal." It's neat. This is the only one I've already started. I'm trying not to punish myself if I miss a day, but I'm also trying to write in it every day (or at least think of what I *would* write if I had time to sit down and do it).
Career - I think I have decided not to "buy in" to the game store (the reasons for which I'll have to go into Elsewhere) but I do want to ask the owner to give me a new title. I'm going to ask him to pay me as a 1099 employee (which spares him the expense of paying into workman's comp and payroll taxes etc.) and "promote" me to "Director of Marketing & Research." Partly because I find it hilarious, partly because it better describes what I do, and partly because it will look good on a resume. I also want him to give me a small budget of $100 or so a month to put towards advertising the store. That last part is going to be the tough sell.
Creative - ? ? ?
Financial - Pay off $x in debt (have to run the numbers, but it's possible I will be able to eliminate the small balance of credit card debt this year with my earnings alone. If so, I can start saving up for something specific, like a family vacation to Disney World or remodeling the kitchen or a new used car when my van inevitably bites it.)
Romantic - continue last year's goal of setting aside a few nights each month to spend with Pedro and no kids. We have agreed to schedule time to go over scheduling for the spring quarter, that will happen sometime in the next couple of weeks.
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Any suggestions for social or creative goals? As an introverted, practically-minded person, I'm at a loss. Though I guess, given the circumstance, my "creative" goal could be simply to read more fiction. I haven't had nearly as much time for that as I'd like over the last...twenty years...
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My suggestion is that that already seems like a shitload of goals?
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My suggestion is that that already seems like a shitload of goals?
Seems like? But two of them are things I'm already doing, one is basically having a conversation with my boss, one involves spending less money on stupid crap and another is a joint venture between myself and my spouse. So they are not, like, major life changes -- they are all incremental steps towards having a better & more balanced life.
How late do the kids sleep and how late is Pedro around in the morning? I solved the time dilemma by changing my schedule slightly to take advantage of a morning slot.
Nope. The kids are usually up before I am, and Pedro is the one who gets up super early to work out anyway.
I could go after I drop Chaos Girl off at school, but that's only four days a week and I have other responsibilities during that time. Plus, it doesn't fly when Danger Boy is tracked out (three out of every twelve weeks). When Chaos Girl starts kindergarten it will be super easy to get into a routine of running in the morning as soon as they're at school, but I don't want to wait 'til July to get started.
The theory is that if I get started now, by the time Danger is tracked out again I'll be able to do activities with him that will keep me in condition (temporarily) without having to go the the gym. Running alongside him on his bike, or taking him down to the cul-de-sac to play street hockey. But Chaos is still the limiting factor.
It's only a few more months, honestly; I should just decree that Mondays and Wednesdays are my Gym days in the afternoon and say "screw it" to everything else. Then I can get up early on Saturdays and run before work, or send Chaos to her grandma's on Friday afternoons. Heck, I could have Pedro pick her up at the gym on Fridays and he could take her to lunch at his office cafeteria while I run on the treadmill. But I need to commit to it, and I need to keep reminding myself that if I can survive another five and a half months, both the kids will be in school full-time and I'll finally be able to do all that shit I keep saying I'm going to do around the house.
Social - Toastmasters. At lunch with a local group. Once a week. Learn to speak in front of a group of strangers comfortably and persuasively. It will serve you the rest of your life.
I conquered my fear of public speaking a coupleafew years ago when I did stand-up at the local club. Not that it was very bad to begin with -- my mom put me on stage for the first time when I was two years old and I did theater through all of middle & high school.
I feel like I should probably say "meet new people," but I meet a lot of people at work. I am doing a good job of learning names, that's a neat thing. I've surprised a few people who come in after talking to me once and I greet them by their names, and they're like, woah. I always thought I was bad with names; turns out it's an acquired skill that literally anybody (who doesn't suffer from short-term memory loss) can pick up in a matter of months, with practice. Gotta love the plasticity of the human brain.
Maybe what I need to do is spend more time with the people I already know, in contexts outside of being at work.
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So they are not, like, major life changes -- they are all incremental steps towards having a better & more balanced life.
And the problem with that is?
I always thought I was bad with names; turns out it's an acquired skill that literally anybody (who doesn't suffer from short-term memory loss) can pick up in a matter of months, with practice.
It is? Could you tell me how?
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And the problem with that is?
It's not a problem, just explaining why there are so many.
It is? Could you tell me how?
Here's a good article that summarizes the methods I use:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mental-mishaps/201003/remembering-names-secrets-memory-experts
And a clip:
Pay attention when you meet someone. Use that person's name immediately and frequently during that first conversation. Associate the name with important personal attributes of the individual - particularly those attributes that will lead to future encounters. Keep written records and use those records prior to times when you know you may encounter individuals again.
There's a certain amount of finesse involved in using someone's name repeatedly without coming off as a creeper or a salesman. But it's been said that the most beautiful word in any language is the listener's own name, so you can usually go farther with it than you might think.
At my store, an encounter might go like this:
Me: Welcome to [Store], can I help you find something?
Joe Customer: Well, I'm looking for a new game.
Me: You've come to the right place. Anything in particular?
Joe: Well, I really like Settlers of Catan but I want similar that can be played with only two people.
Me: Sure thing, I think we've got something like that. Right over here -- hey, by the way, I'm JL, what's your name?
Joe: It's Joe.
Me: Hi, Joe. [Shakes hands.] We've got the Catan card game for two, but personally I'm a fan of Carcassonne, because it's great with two but can play up to five if you have a larger crowd. [Blah blah blah about the game, invite him to Thursday board game night, etc.]
Joe: Okay, I think I'll take this then.
Me: Awesome! I think you're really going to like this, Joe. If you have any trouble at all, don't forget you can come in next Thursday and I'll answer any questions you may have about it.
Joe: Yeah, and I'll try to bring my wife for game night next week.
Me: Great! [Ring up item] OK, Joe, that's $42.38, on your card? OK. [Make note of last name on card, swipe it.] What's your wife's name?
Joe: It's Helen.
Me: Joe and Helen, lovely. Here's your card, Joe, I look forward to seeing you and meeting Helen next week!
[Joe leaves. Ideally, I jot his name & his wife's name down on a notepad along with what game he bought & look at it periodically throughout the night. But more likely I move on to the next customer and forget about Joe until the next time I see him; at that point I will probably remember his name but not his wife's, and I won't remember what game he bought unless he mentions it. Not perfect, but Joe will be impressed and Helen won't mind giving me her name since I've not met her in person before.]
Another trick I use is to encourage people to follow us on Facebook. Since I manage the store's facebook page, I get notifications of new Followers, which puts their names in my path again and gives me a way to look them up surreptitiously if I encounter them again -- even if the name isn't in my active memory, I'll usually be able to connect it with the right person if I can pick it from a list.
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I think that it always strikes me as creepy when people use my name like that. I will have to pay attention to whether anyone ever does it with enough finesse that it isn't.
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When I took the morning slot I committed to giving Spouse an evening slot so she could Zumba and ride her hoss. Last night I, for example, I ran the household.
It scans like it is on you to make the fit, but I bet that's just short information.
Yeah, our time is tight and Pedro is by far the morning person, so he gets that slot by default. We both use the gym at his office complex (it's free) but it's across town, so there's also the realism in the fact that I am not going to give up spending time with my family in the evening so that I can drive thirty minutes round trip to sweat my butt off on a treadmill for an hour. Or get up at 4:30 AM to do the same, especially after working 'til 11 PM the night before. But the gym isn't far from Chaos Girl's school so it's easy to swing by after I drop her off.
Like I said, this will be much easier when I have 30 hours a week of JL Time instead of 12, but I'm going through a period now where every minute is spoken for (including the 30 minutes I've been fuck*ng around on this board, whoops I guess I'm not going to get the kitchen cleaned today, sorry Pedro) and that three hours a week working out (plus drive time to & from the gym) comes at the expense of other things. I need to sit down and take a hard look at what I can cut -- not because Pedro isn't willing to pick up the household slack but because there just aren't enough hours in the day as it is.
As for the other thing, you just recently mentioned having a tussle with making a business contact and conversation. What I suggested was meant to address that kind of interpersonal communication skill, rather than making jokes for drunks.
What? I'm blanking on the tussle to which you refer. I'm still afraid of the telephone but I do pretty well in person these days. Unless I'm misreading you.
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I think that it always strikes me as creepy when people use my name like that. I will have to pay attention to whether anyone ever does it with enough finesse that it isn't.
Yeah, that's a bit exaggerated. But you can sort of tell if people are feeling sales-pressured and back off. If someone says "just browsing" or whatever I leave them the fuck alone, but if it's someone I've seen come in a lot, if he's there for an event or if he asks for a recommendation I work on learning his name.
If I did this to everybody who came in the store it would turn a lot of people off, for sure.
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What? I'm blanking on the tussle to which you refer. I'm still afraid of the telephone but I do pretty well in person these days. Unless I'm misreading you.
I think he means how you wanted to talk to the owner of the competing game store.
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Yes! Ok, yes. But that's less about interpersonal relations and more about how I'm not sure how badly the owner of my store has pissed her off in the past.
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I think resolutions would be more fun if we were allowed to make them for other people.
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That is a great idea for a thread.
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Even if you replace "fun" with "satisfying" or "rewarding" I think my remark still stands.
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I mean my remark about that being a great idea for a thread.
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I'm deaf and need a respirator to sleep at night. At least I'm better looking than Ash.
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I still haven't gotten to the part where I throw out all my stuff. Anybody got any motivation they aren't using, which I could borrow for a bit just until I have a clean apartment and a trashbag full of goodwill clothing?
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Just ask yourself what does this contribute to my life. When the answer comes back nothing, toss it.
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Problem is I can think of reasons not to throw out a ton of stuff based on it's 'art project' potential, or usefulness in 'seasonal actiivities'. I have pretty strong seasons in New England, so my summer stuff and winter stuff are pretty discreet. I have stuff I haven't used in years, but still keep around for emergencies and what.
Okay that paragraph was all excuses and bullshit, I'm getting on this this weekend. Fuck superbowls, I'm cleaning house!
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This one works on me:
Am I realistically likely to use this in the *near* future? If I think so, I look at my calendar and set aside a day to do the project.
If I can't find the time, I ask, "Could someone else gain benefit from this item?" If so, it's selgiraffe of me to hoard it & keep it from someone who will put it to good use.
If not...it's trash.
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Sort of a short term goal met today:
MILES RUN IN ONE MONTH
Previous record: November 2012 -- 56.4
New record: January 2013 -- 80.3 (http://runkeeper.com/user/FrankDempsey/fitnessReports/cardio)
Blew that mother away by almost 50%.
I also have been thinking about longer term, annual/life goals lately. As usual I'm running a little bit late. I need to decide on some new habits to cultivate. Should be developments soon -- I hope they're interesting and productive.
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Nice job!
I've been sticking with my increased mileage and am starting to dig it.
Good luck with the cruft removal Doomies.
Do you use any kind of run tracker? Cause it's a motivator, plus it's a cool high-tech GPS space radar thingy, so it's got that going for it.
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For the last several months I've swapped between an elliptical machine and a treadmill so I haven't used any of the phone apps. If I go back to the trails, I'd take a shot at the one you use, the feature set seems pretty cool, what with the mapping and the reporting aspects.
I do push myself with distance/speed/heart rate goals, with the modern machinery it's all right there on the display in front of me with no where to hide.
The constant numbers on the machines are motivating, but nothing beats a big impressive map of YOU DID THIS.
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The constant numbers on the machines are motivating, but nothing beats a big impressive map of YOU DID THIS.
Yes.
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Agreed re: maps. I also usually run the same set of trails, and I enjoy watching the time it takes me to run X trail drop incrementally. Going from the 1-mile loop in 30 minutes to the 1.4 mile loop in the same amount of time (at the same park; they overlap) and then, eventually, being able to go back to the 1-mile and do it twice -- that is pretty cool.
I'm almost there -- I can do a 17-minute mile (that's mostly walking with sprint drills in the middle), but the training program I'm on has me doing heel lifts between sprints so that's nerfing my mileage a bit.
Soon: the 1.4 mile loop, twice in under half an hour. That'll put me right around a 15-minute mile on average, those sprints are going to get longer and the walk period in between is going to get shorter. Ultimately I'll want to do the 1-mile loop 3x in half an hour, while will have me on track to do a full 5K without walking.
Dangit. This should go in the running thread, shouldn't it?
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Ultimately I'll want to do the 1-mile loop 3x in half an hour, while will have me on track to do a full 5K without walking.
That would be three 10 minute miles, or about a 31 minute 5K. Keep it up and you'll get there no problem. I would suggest working on running one full loop, then gradually ramping up to increase the distance you run -- i.e, after you can run one loop without walking, try running a loop and a quarter for a week. Then a loop and a half, et cetera, et cetera.
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Dangit. This should go in the running thread, shouldn't it?
Yes, and could you make sure you keep that thread on topic so I don't have to check it?
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Yes, and could you make sure you keep that thread on topic so I don't have to check it?
I think some kind of on/off topic meter for each thread would be really useful.
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Today I dropped my 19th pound since Jan. 5th.
Yay, congratulations! Your steady success is encouraging.
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I let myself get kinda fat last year from thinking that since my activity level was similar to my 20's I could eat like my 20's. "If I can step out the door and run a 5k at will I must be in good shape, Right-O!" This was wrong thinking and I fixed that stupid wagon. Today I dropped my 19th pound since Jan. 5th.
Here's a tiny can in honor of your tiny can.
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A tiny man is doing the can can in honor of your tiny can canning. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWgCqbWwpBg)
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There was a lot of snow this week, and I rode the bus instead of taking my car for three days. It was actually kind of nice. The thought of riding the bus to work seems much more pleasant now that I've done a trial run. April: buy a month-long bus pass.
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My motto for 2013 would be something like: "2013: I'm not complaining, I guess?"
The one for 2014: "No sudden movements please."