The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Wild Card => Topic started by: pmcd9 on October 07, 2013, 09:43:02 pm
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Who has the worlds tightest pussy? Throughout the ages science has tried and failed to determine the answer to this question.
Along the lines of my billion dollar Christian Porn idea, I have come up with my second billion dollar idea, the worlds tightest pussy competition. It's a kind of tug of war only instead of the hands the competitors use their pu$$ys to grab the rope. Picture a pair of nunchucks. Replace the wooden ends with dildos, that is your rope.
I imagine this competition taking place in a small ballroom in a casino. Like a wrestling match only instead of a squared circle there is a large long table with a line drawn in the middle. Behind the table is a scoreboard. The contestants each make an entrance accompanied by their own choice of music and a video montage shown on the scoreboard. The contestants climb atop the table and face one other with their asses. A referee inspects the contestants for foreign objects and inserts the rope. Two "experts" call the action as play commences. The object is to pull the dildo from your opponents pu$$y before they do it to you. The audience of elegantly dressed spectators cheer on their favorites.
By the way this "sport" came to me in a dream.
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If someone could figure out a performance enhancing drug for that competition - there is money to be made.
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I'ma ramp up my kegel exercises starting right now, just in case.
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Am I crazy or didn't there used to be sideshow or burlesque performers who did something vaguely like that? Maybe not as a competition, but as an act. No wait - it was that they could pick stuff up? This isn't the sort of thing I would make up, but God knows I am not going to try to Google it.
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There was (is?) an English performance artist called penis that could toss a ping pong ball an impressive distance.
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Who has the worlds tightest pussy?
You don't want to have anything to do with the world's tightest pussy. It is terrible. In college I briefly dated a girl who was impenetrably tight. It was like trying to have sex with a keyhole. We would try A LOT and she would make this terrified face and it was clear nothing was going to happen. That was the only relationship where I dumped a woman with a handshake and a "this isn't going to work"
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If someone could figure out a performance enhancing drug for that competition - there is money to be made.
Like… bees?
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You don't want to have anything to do with the world's tightest pussy. It is terrible. In college I briefly dated a girl who was impenetrably tight. It was like trying to have sex with a keyhole. We would try A LOT and she would make this terrified face and it was clear nothing was going to happen. That was the only relationship where I dumped a woman with a handshake and a "this isn't going to work"
Well then I guess she would be a contender. Sign her up.
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I am assuming the filters are messing with my mind in Jaydub's post?
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Uh, yeah. The artist's name (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KyiE5-Pqpk) is that of the small rodent. (NSFW link, duh)
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You don't want to have anything to do with the world's tightest pussy. It is terrible. In college I briefly dated a girl who was impenetrably tight. It was like trying to have sex with a keyhole. We would try A LOT and she would make this terrified face and it was clear nothing was going to happen. That was the only relationship where I dumped a woman with a handshake and a "this isn't going to work"
That is actually a surprisingly common thing. There is a corrective surgery for it. It is apparently totally liberating after years of impossible or extremely surgical sex. Expect the same insensitive conversation that women having breast reductions have with everyone. This girl needs to be put in touch with a gynecologist who knows what they are doing (apparently much more rare).