The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: Bozack on February 05, 2004, 07:15:49 am
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This is a continuation of the post where I taught everyone about the joys of Oreo Soup. I think this should be the topic for everyone who is confused and bewildered by these hoity-toity "I COOK my food" cats.
So, Ghetto Chef tip #1: If you crack an egg in a container of ramen right after you pour the hot water in, the water will cook the egg, and it will be tasty. Also, if you are doing this for another person, and I mean a very special person, it shows you have class oozing out of your classhole.
Enjoy!
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Man, that was my fave food before I went all vegan. I'm the ghettoest.
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If you crack an egg in a container of ramen right after you pour the hot water in, the water will cook the egg, and it will be tasty.
I'd want to all beat the egg then stir it in like erm, oh, you know, that Chinese soup where they do that, which I just love.
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Mmmmm, ghetto sukiyaki.
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Ash, that's almost as beautiful as the "Frito Pie" which in my worldview is ghetto food. You get the snack size bag of fritos and open the top, add a ladleful of warm chili (try the canned kind), throw in some meltin' cheese and maybe some green peppers. Spoon it back out and eat. It's good walkin' around food, too.
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Is this the right place to report that I haven't tried the Oreo Soup yet, but did have the cereal. Uncannily like Oreos. Unfortunately I forgot that I always take the cream out of Oreos before I eat them. I haven't figured out how to take those little specks of cream stuff off all those bits of cereal. I think it will involve soaking them in a bowl of milk then pouring it off and putting new milk on. I haven't tried this yet because I suspect it will cause domestic unrest.
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Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, Providence Rhode Island style:
Prepare one package of Kraft M&C. Add one can of tuna giraffe. Add a can of peas if you're feeling ambitious. Serve.
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My version of ambitious would have been adding a can of peas & carrots.
You aristocrat you.
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Ghetto Chef Tip# 2:
Salsa is actually more than a meal, because you can add it to items that are nominally not a meal, and they will become a meal. For instance:
Rice-not a meal.
Rice WITH SALSA- meal.
Can of tuna- not a meal.
Can of tuna WITH SALSA- meal.
The possibilities of salsa are endless. For instance, I'm sure you know that salsa on egg is delish. But what about salsa on a stale piece of white bread?
STILL GOOD!
Ha, and sadly, I've eaten everything above at one point in the last few months.
Also, I think i've got a tapeworm.
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The really great thing about salsa is that unlike ketchup it really does have to count as eating your vegetables, don't you think?
Irrelevant aside: Duh, I finally figured out that Ghetto Chef's weird screenname must be his address. I come from an outer borough, but still, I feel like a dope.
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The really great thing about salsa is that unlike ketchup it really does have to count as eating your vegetables, don't you think?
Irrelevant aside: Duh, I finally figured out that Ghetto Chef's weird screenname must be his address. I come from an outer borough, but still, I feel like a dope.
There's a Dumbrella guy who lists his Location as his latitude and longitude so I was thinking it was something like that.
Oh, and rice + tuna = meal too. Especially if either the rice or the tuna is the flavored kind. Saffron rice rice and that new spicy tuna pouch is pretty good.
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Personal favorite: Mac & cheese with little cut-up hot dogs. I cut up the dogs and put them in with the pasta so I only have to dirty one pot. Then, after draining the pasta and dogs, I put them back in the same pan, add the cheese sauce (I get the deluxe kind with the Bag O' Cheese), and eat it with a fork right out of the saucepan.
At least, that's what I did when I was single. Like Asherdan, marriage has enhanced my culinary skills considerably. Now I put the Mac and Cheese in a bowl.
And I buy "lite."
And don't eat the whole thing myself.
Yup, that's about it.
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Leftover gravy (or gravy from an envelope) on rice. Also good.
Leftover white rice: excellent with milk and sugar in the morning.
Also, pillsbury biscuits are a convenient way to make a pot pie out of anything leftover that has some liquid. Or canned stew like dinty moore.
Class it up by putting the stew in a baking dish and the biscuits on top.
Ghetto Hors d'oeuvres: wrap half hotdogs in pillsbury croissant dough. Get something better than yellow mustard to serve them with, though.
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Ghetto Hors d'oeuvres: wrap half hotdogs in pillsbury croissant dough. Get something better than yellow mustard to serve them with, though.
I like to slit my hot dogs down the center, and tuck thin slices of procesed, store-brand American cheese inside for gooey delight.
For true ghetto goodness, buy the store brand crescent rolls and Armour hot dogs. And, because I'm mentally ill, I like mine dipped in mayonnaise.
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The very concept of mayonnaise makes me feel very sad and icky inside. I guess I'm not as ghetto as I would like to imagine
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Oh my word. All of these things truly scare me, involving tinned vegetables, and instant gravy type things. Both of which I am too picky to eat.
I mean, that kraft thing with tuna, you can make with some cream, some pasta, some tuna, and onions, and then add some peas to. And it makes a fresh and tasty version of it!
Man I just have to cook properly out of survival since I refuse to eat things that scare me, which is a lot!
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Ghetto Hors d'oeuvres: wrap half hotdogs in pillsbury croissant dough. Get something better than yellow mustard to serve them with, though.
Oh oh oh! This was my favorite thing when I was a kid! Oh no, now I have to go eat some. It will probably give me such a tummyache at my age.
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An old favorite of mine:
Prepare ramen in microwave sans seasonings, drain, and add your choice of chili straight from the can. Stir so both the noodles and the chili become lukewarm.
Devour. Flatuate.
Chili-Spagetti in three minutes!
I used to do something similar with Ragu and Ramen. 3 minute spaghetti!
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Also, I had a friend in college who would eat Ramen raw. Just open the package and crunch down.
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Who's nasty enough to have done that before?
**timidly raises hand**
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Also, I had a friend in college who would eat Ramen raw. Just open the package and crunch down.
Who's nasty enough to have done that before?
I am. (Me)
Hell, I'd often have to make two packages, because I'd end up eating at least half the first one raw while waiting for the water to boil. Or while digging out a bowl to microwave it.
My low class meal of choice was usually fried ramen. Boil and drain noodles. Throw in pan of hot oil, add soy sauce, seasoning packet and pack of red pepper flakes left over from the last time you could afford pizza. Add torn up bits of paper-thin Carl Budding meats for extra flavor.
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Who's nasty enough to have done that before?
Everyone but me in grades... say, 3 through 6. I wasn't allowed, but sometimes my friends would share. This was concurrent with the eating-Jello-powder-from-the-box trend.
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We ate Kool-Aid powder.
A habit I picked up from my mom is keeping out a few noodles to crunch on when I made pasta.
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How about this one:
Spaghettio's straight out of the can -- cold. For an extra special kick, add a little cayenne.
Axually there's a long list of stuff I'll eat right out of the can. Most vegetables, anchovies, the occasional clam chowder (it's almost vichysoisse-like).
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The very concept of mayonnaise makes me feel very sad and icky inside. I guess I'm not as ghetto as I would like to imagine
The best thing- in the South, where we like to live dangerously, I know people who don't refrigerate mayonnaise. Technically (I read on the Straight Dope or something), you don't HAVE to refrigerate mayonnaise, just don't let it sit out open in the warm air. But when I've got mayonnaise, bet your ass it'll be kept pretty chilly.
Last night, made Oreo soup again. And, if you like Ore-O's, the cereal, you must eat these, they are the sex to Ore-O's masturbation. And, because the person I was with doesn't drink milik with anything, I ended up chugging about half a quart of skim out of the carton. I'll bet there's a special level of hell for people like me.
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I'll bet there's a special level of hell for people like me.
Well, I ain't arguin'.
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When I was a kid, we used to make the classic ghetto sandwich - two slices of bread, mayo, and catsup. Delicious and filling!
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I prefer the Poor Man's Burrito. Salsa on a tortilla. Maybe with cheese if you've got it, 'waved for 30 seconds.
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I prefer the Poor Man's Burrito. Salsa on a tortilla. Maybe with cheese if you've got it, 'waved for 30 seconds.
My version: Salsa, cheese & Carl Buddig lunchmeat on tortilla. Nuke 'n' go. I'm a fancy-guy like that.
My dad makes ghetto quesadillas like that. They're pretty tasty for being totally ghetto.
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The ghetto-est food I can think of that I eat is Triscuits with squeeze pizza sauce and the powdery parm nuked for like 25 seconds.
Splattery and delicious.
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My most ghettorific snack is Triscuits with EZ Cheeze on top, and a green olive (with pimento). Yummy.
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The other day, I had two eggs and some parma. cheese. As it turns out, fried eggs with ANY cheese AT ALL is delicious. Especially with barbeque sauce.
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Bozack, when you're feeling especially non-ghetto, track down some Jarlsberg cheese. It's my fave with eggs.