The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => People & Places => Topic started by: Nabubrush on February 13, 2004, 12:32:21 am
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Hey, just to let you guys know, and I don't know if maybe you already do, some of you, but RStevens just put up a thread at Dumbrella. It turns out that Ferocious J is in the hospital with appendicitis. Anyway, I know he's been here fairly recently but I don't know the frequency, so I thought I'd put this out there.
I hope you feel better soon, J.
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Don't let that useless body part get you down, J.
Do we yet live in a world where hospital rooms have internet access? Seems like someplace you'd really need it.
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I read an article the other day about a hospital that's offering patients internet access for $9.95 per day. Anyway.
Feel better, Ferocious J. Get well soon and post more.
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Don't let that useless body part get you down, J.
Do we yet live in a world where hospital rooms have internet access? Seems like someplace you'd really need it.
Come on, Mr. Carnation doesn't even have access at his house so there's not much hope for the hospital.
Somebody should make a sad, pained Mega Man for the occasion. He'll appreciate it when he gets back.
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Don't let that useless body part get you down, J.
That's changed. Scientist are now saying it has a purpose, but they still don't know what it is. Damn scientist.
Get well FJ
~Paul
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Don't let that useless body part get you down, J.
That's changed. Scientist are now saying it has a purpose, but they still don't know what it is. Damn scientist.
Get well FJ
~Paul
That's very holistic of them. Duuuude, everything has a purpose! We just don't, like, know it yet.
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Hospitals should have internet access and webcams. We all need a little sponge bath action now and again.
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One of the leading scientific theories on the appendix is that its purpose is actually to attract toxins, bacteria, and all sorts of sundry nastiness to a place where they won't be harmful. This explains why a ruptured appendix is so nasty -- all that nasty scum leaking out into the important body parts.
(It's either that or demons.)
Anyway, best wishes to J...
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Hey J, I hope they give you lots of leeches to suck out all of those impurities.
Get well soon.
-- Jough
P.S. Can I have your old appendix?
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As the least-easily-creeped-out-by-Jough person on this board, I have to say that asking for someone's leftover body parts scores pretty high on the skeeze meter.
Best wishes, J. Somewhere in the American Southeast, two Lutheran converts will be crossing themselves for you on Sunday.
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As the least-easily-creeped-out-by-Jough person on this board, I have to say that asking for someone's leftover body parts scores pretty high on the skeeze meter.
Well, it's not like J was using it... besides, appendicitis is the sure sign that the appendix wants to run free! Free, to a better home, like side_show's man's Andrew WK CD!
okay, board sketch level successfully raised. Time to make my clever escape.
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Are vegans allowed to eat an appendix? I know they can eat placenta since there's no cutting but body parts that have to be removed anyway should be okay for vegans too.
Our goal in this thread has suddenly become to bury the needle in the creepometer
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Are vegans allowed to eat an appendix? I know they can eat placenta since there's no cutting but body parts that have to be removed anyway should be okay for vegans too.
Our goal in this thread has suddenly become to bury the needle in the creepometer
Success!
I don't know what creeps me out the most about that first paragraph. The fact that vegans can eat placenta? The fact that multiple vegans probably have? Nah -- I think it's the fact that someone actually sat down and came to a decision about whether vegan placenta-eating is (pardon the bad, semi-unintentional pun) kosher or not. It's like rabbis figuring out how you do a kosher slaughtering of a giraffe, but somehow less amusing and more disturbing.
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And it (vegan placenta eating) apparently makes them feel ill because they've ceased to produce the enzymes necessary to digest the meat. That could create some actual, visible, chair-dissolving gas.
<OT>Feeling better FeroJ?</OT>
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And it (vegan placenta eating) apparently makes them feel ill because they've ceased to produce the enzymes necessary to digest the meat. That could create some actual, visible, chair-dissolving gas.
<OT>Feeling better FeroJ?</OT>
This may well have made my day. It's just such a precious, precious, image, and I can't help but think there's a level of poetic justice there.
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It's like rabbis figuring out how you do a kosher slaughtering of a giraffe, but somehow less amusing and more disturbing.
Kosher giraffe slaughter is basically the same as kosher anything else slaughter. The joke was that you have too many possibilities about where to cut the artery in the neck, but apparently you can pretty much pick anywhere you like along its length. The main problem is getting a giraffe and raising it correctly in the first place. They're pretty pricey.
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It's like rabbis figuring out how you do a kosher slaughtering of a giraffe, but somehow less amusing and more disturbing.
Kosher giraffe slaughter is basically the same as kosher anything else slaughter. The joke was that you have too many possibilities about where to cut the artery in the neck, but apparently you can pretty much pick anywhere you like along its length. The main problem is getting a giraffe and raising it correctly in the first place. They're pretty pricey.
Bastard giraffes making my dinner difficult. Quit eating leaves and get in my belly!
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Oh damn. Seriously weird.
I'm going to have to put my foot down: no more discussion of eating kosher giraffe placenta.
No more.
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But--
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no more discussion of eating kosher giraffe placenta.
Sentence of the Week!
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Seriously? And after I just had kosher giraffe placenta tonight, in a wonderful balsamic and basil oil reduction, with a sweet-potato mash and grilled asparagus.
I got the recipe for the chef, but apparently I'm not allowed to post it.
:cry:
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Anyone who claims to eat kosher giraffe placenta is immediately established as a liar who is lying. Not only is giraffe placenta not kosher, but there is no such thing as the placenta of a kosher giraffe (baby animals and pregnant animals not being kosher, either). Thus, either way you are out of luck in the kosher giraffe placenta department.
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What makes you think that a giraffe placenta can't be kosher? I mean, I've bought HOT DOGS that were kosher - surely a rabbi could bless a giraffe placenta and call it clean!
Not that I want to linger too long on this point, mind you.
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What makes you think that a giraffe placenta can't be kosher? I mean, I've bought HOT DOGS that were kosher - surely a rabbi could bless a giraffe placenta and call it clean!
So-called "kosher hot dogs" are a bit misleading. They should perhaps be called "kosher beef sausages" as they do not, generally speaking, contain the requisite percentage of unidentifiable animal portions to be qualified as a hot dog.
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I generally get Hebrew National Beef Franks, and find that they contain all of the nasty stuff that regular brand Beef Hot Dogs do, except they use kosher ingredients (i.e. kosher salt, etc.) that the other brands do not.
As far as I know, the kosher dogs contain things like beef tongue, pancreas, and hoove meat, too.
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Finally! I was wondering how long we had to exist as a message board until we got our very own Pedantic Asshole™. It's going to make life here so much less sweet.
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It's not my intention to be a pedantic asshole, but then I guess it never is anyone's. If it's annoying, I'll stop rambling about kosher laws. I thought they might constitute amusing trivia.
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Don't worry about it. All part of the initiation. For what it's worth, I've found pedanticism will get you far on this board.
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For what it's worth, I've found pedanticism will get you far on this board.
AND HOW, SISTER
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Don't worry about it. All part of the initiation. For what it's worth, I've found pedanticism will get you far on this board.
I believe the word you're looking for is "pedantry".
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Crap.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
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Yeah really. I almost want to pretend I made that mistake on purpose to facilitate The Best Contextual Burn EVER.
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Thank yew. Thankyewverrymuch.
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What makes you think that a giraffe placenta can't be kosher? I mean, I've bought HOT DOGS that were kosher - surely a rabbi could bless a giraffe placenta and call it clean!
So-called "kosher hot dogs" are a bit misleading. They should perhaps be called "kosher beef sausages" as they do not, generally speaking, contain the requisite percentage of unidentifiable animal portions to be qualified as a hot dog.
I just learned about hot dogs whit week: http://www.411mania.com/black/columns/article.php?black_id=142
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pedanticism
I believe the word you're looking for is "pedantry".
Case in point. :lol:
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I stand corrected on the subject of what can and cannot be an element of kosher hot dogs, as most parts of the cow do in fact have preparations which can render them kosher (after which they can be pureed and stuffed in a casing as normal). However, the hoof is not one of them, for what that's worth; neither are the kidneys, the blood, most tendons, or the fat of certain regions, and the thigh is apparently generally left alone for reasons of difficulty removing offending tendons. I apologize to anyone misled by my hastily-assembled trivia into eating hot dogs which could, potentially, contain pancreas. It may also be worth noting that kosher all-giraffe hot dogs could potentially contain giraffe pancreas, so be warned.
Regarding the placenta issue, I am still fairly certain that kosher giraffe placenta is an impossibility no matter how much kosher salt is used.
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Anyone who claims to eat kosher giraffe placenta is immediately established as a liar who is lying. Not only is giraffe placenta not kosher, but there is no such thing as the placenta of a kosher giraffe (baby animals and pregnant animals not being kosher, either). Thus, either way you are out of luck in the kosher giraffe placenta department.
I've seen too many Jews eating veal to believe this sentence is 100% true. I suppose they could be liberally Jewish, or just Jewish in terms of culture. Wouldn't eggs not be kosher extending the argument? They contain both baby and placental properties.
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Wouldn't eggs not be kosher extending the argument? They contain both baby and placental properties.
This is scientifically true, but not entirely germane to a system that classifies by "beasts that walk upon the earth", "beasts that fly through the air", "beasts that crawl through the earth", etc. Birds and their eggs are subject to a different set of rules.
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Truly, though, at it's core, Dietary Law (Both Jewish and Islamic, which are very similar) represents early approaches to solving Public Health Issues more than anything else. My Admittedly Christian version of God doesn't care what you eat and don't eat; He created everything for Mankind to use to his greater glory. It's hard to work toward God's greater glory when you are laid out with febrile diarrhea, though.
Undercooked pork was giving people trichinosis, so the guys in the Big Black Hats (like in Jesus Christ Superstar) said "G*d doesn't want you to eat that". Because the people would listen if you invoked the almighty. The ONLY body of law was religious law, so that is where it had to be codified. Civil law and Religious law were one and the same in those days.
Same goes for Shigella, Hepatitis and all those other lovely diseases you can get from Shellgiraffe. Enough people get sick and here comes the Black Hats again "Hey, G*d say's don't eat that either". "And also, we'll standardize the way we kill things and also how we prepare them because G*d told us how and here's how to do it" (plus there will be less illness and the (sometimes sketchy) water supplies out here in Palestine will stay fresher longer)
Jewish Dietary Law was the first attempt on a community level to regulate food preparation and processing in order to minimize illness in the community. Of course, it came from the place where power resided at the time - Religious Authorities. It was very well though out and absolutely necessary for it's time. Modern farming and slaughtering practices make most of the restrictions unnecessary from a public health standpoint, but they represent thousands of years of religious tradition and they remain, particularly around the Holiest of Holidays, Passover.
Everything always comes back to Public Health for me. It's like I work seven days a week. Someone shoot me already.
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AlohaDawg, I love you. No, wait, in a totally pure and spiritual way - nothing like that fantasy zoo boy I was talking about in the other thread. That would be wrong.
My only fond memory of graduate school is sitting around the lounge talking about kosher laws with my roommate and my most and least favorite professors. I wonder if people in graduate school in public health sit around the lounge talking about linguistics.
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Aloha, I swear to G*d you've said exactly that post before. Damned near verbatim. If it weren't you, it has to have been like BizarroAlohaDawg or something.
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The only thing I could possibly add to that is that it's not necessarily the case that the public-health idea came first and was put into the religious law because that was the only law handy. In a worldview where diseases are acts of demons or divine punishment, the link between "this food makes you sick" and "this food is unclean in the Lord's eyes" is pretty straightforward and direct.
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Boy, I sure hope Jon is feeling all right.
Anybody?
Also, I had some giraffe placenta helper tonight . . . that's good eating. Perhaps this should be moved to the tastes forum, but then he'd never see our kind words.
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Boy, I sure hope Jon is feeling all right.
Anybody?
Yeah, I was wondering if this thread would ever make it full circle.
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Does anybody have a recipie for burst appendix?
~Paul
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I'm sure J will be touched at what was inspired by our concern for him.
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I'd like to send him a gift basket with a jar of matzo ball soup and a nice marbled rye. I consider matzo ball soup and klezmer music two great contributions of the Jewish world to culture in general.
Ben-San is right in terms of diseases being attributed to 'demons' in many ancient civilizations. But at it's most basic, the premise of my discussion is that there was an observation of causation that lead to the proscription of certain foods and the regulation of the processing of others. Lacking microscopes and research history, they called the cause "demons" or "uncleanliness" but the terminology they used, based on their worldview, is basically a proxy for what we know today about the relationship between microbes and food.
Choop - I did write a post about food handling around the time we were discussing botulism but I don't think we touched on Jewish dietary law that time...I could have rambled on some other time. I'm kind of a Public Health Junkie. Or a junkie who works in public health - I get confused between fixes.
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Those and circumcision!
I'm very sorry about this
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Ben-San is right in terms of diseases being attributed to 'demons' in many ancient civilizations. But at it's most basic, the premise of my discussion is that there was an observation of causation that lead to the proscription of certain foods and the regulation of the processing of others. Lacking microscopes and research history, they called the cause "demons" or "uncleanliness" but the terminology they used, based on their worldview, is basically a proxy for what we know today about the relationship between microbes and food.
Well, yes, this is true as far as it goes. However, I think El Ben is questioning your assumption that the law was necessarily created out of public health concerns and then was just sort of slotted into the religious law because, hey, religious law. I think what he was actually trying to say -- and what, if I recall my very vague grounding in this sort of thing correctly -- was that the public health concerns were secondary; people dying from these sort of things was considered a logical symptom of their uncleanliness, and a prohibition on their consumption was intended more as "don't eat these because God will hate you if you do (and you'll probably get sick 'cause that's what God does in these cases)" and not "don't eat these because you'll die (and it's convenient to say 'God' to make you believe)."
Yeah, so I came into the pedantry-fest late, but I can come out as a two-fisted pedant.
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Remember when this thread was about wishing well to Ferocious J?
Aaah, those were the days.
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I remain wishing FeroJ well. Be well, FeroJ, wherever you are.
Also: J, I'm really sorry that I'll probably never be able to think of you without thinking of non-kosher giraffe placenta. It was not intentional.
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I remain wishing FeroJ well. Be well, FeroJ, wherever you are.
Also: J, I'm really sorry that I'll probably never be able to think of you without thinking of non-kosher giraffe placenta. It was not intentional.
For me it will be Mega-Man doing the cabbage patch with kocher giraffe placenta dangling out of his mouth.
I don't even want to consider what his canine sidekick will be getting himself into. While also dancing.
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Just to let non-giraffe-placenta-obsessed folks know, Le J Feroce is doing much better.
Edited because my keyboard is waging a pitched battle with me.
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Remember when this thread was about wishing well to Ferocious J?
Aaah, those were the days.
Yes, but this particular thread -- with all its characteristic tangents and diversions -- is dedicated to the J-man. So what if it veers WAY off topic? It wouldn't be an Acheboard thread if it didn't!
The important thing is that this is Ferocious J's thread and we're here posting in it. The positive mental energy thus generated is thereby directed at him. Get it?
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Remember when this thread was about wishing well to Ferocious J?
Aaah, those were the days.
Yes, but this particular thread -- with all its characteristic tangents and diversions -- is dedicated to the J-man. So what if it veers WAY off topic? It wouldn't be an Acheboard thread if it didn't!
The important thing is that this is Ferocious J's thread and we're here posting in it. The positive mental energy thus generated is thereby directed at him. Get it?
So what your saying is that it's actually tangential off-topic roaming threads are actually the best medcine, not that silly laughter?
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Remember when this thread was about wishing well to Ferocious J?
Aaah, those were the days.
Yes, but this particular thread -- with all its characteristic tangents and diversions -- is dedicated to the J-man. So what if it veers WAY off topic? It wouldn't be an Acheboard thread if it didn't!
The important thing is that this is Ferocious J's thread and we're here posting in it. The positive mental energy thus generated is thereby directed at him. Get it?
So what your saying is that it's actually tangential off-topic roaming threads are actually the best medcine, not that silly laughter?
Well, not exactly. I would say that tangential off-topic roaming threads are our unique idiom and that as long as our efforts are dedicated to Ferocious J's well-being then the particular issue being discussed is irrelevant.
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So what your saying is that it's actually tangential off-topic roaming threads are actually the best medcine, not that silly laughter?
Yes. Reader's Digest lied to you - to us, to all of us. It's all right. We're here. You're sitting there in shock, thinking life in these United States will never be the same again, but it's okay. It's okay to feel that way.
You'll adjust; we all have, over time.
COMING UP: A FULL HOUR OF DIFF'RENT STROKES
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You're sitting there in shock, thinking life in these United States will never be the same again, but it's okay. It's okay to feel that way.
Well, thank god we'll always have Humor in Uniform.
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Wait, but my Word Power, does it still pay to.... no, don't tell me.
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I must go Ponder all of these Points.
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All of these quotes are quotable.
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I can feel my heart warming already, you bunch of sentimental internet weirdos!
(seriously, thanks)
(also, pic of disappointingly small scar will follow in due time)
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Welcome back, J. Sorry about all the giraffe placenta.
Good to see they didn't accidentally amputate your typin' finger.
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(also, pic of disappointingly small scar will follow in due time)
Take a photo of that scar in the same pose/lighting condition every day until it's all done w/ the heal process then use them to make a flipbook that shows mad regenerative powers.
Or, flip it backwards as a demonstration of the way of all flesh...