The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: Bozack on February 24, 2004, 01:36:55 am
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Coming from the thread about today's comic: If you had your own liquor, what would it be called? Label images encouraged. I'm working on mine.
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This may be biased by my current mood, but right now my liquor would be "Tiny Quivering Ball of Rage and Pain Dark Ale." (extra bitter.)
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"Ye Olde Slurr Factoree" - a barely-distilled, fast-aged grain alcohol which basically turns into fire as soon as it comes into contact with air.
"Schutzbrillehersteller" - (translates to "eye protector manufacturer") high-content lager which takes you from 20/20 to beer goggles faster than you can conceive. Guaranteed to get you laid. not guaranteed.
"Ye Olde Janx Spirit" - oh, snap. That one's taken.
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Old Cranky Bastard: pre-mixed manhattans.
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"Ye Olde Slurr Factoree" - a barely-distilled, fast-aged grain alcohol which basically turns into fire as soon as it comes into contact with air.
We actually have a chemical where I work that does exactly that. It's some crazy fucked up shit that is combustible with air. The only way to put it out is cover it up with sand or foam. Water only makes it worse.
~Paul
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Definitely "I Ain't Putting Up With Anybody's Bullshit" brand gin. Serve very, very cold. Drink while alone, and in the dark, if possible.
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SHIT IN YOUR FACE beer. It gets it's name because that's how you feel in the morning, like someone has literally shit in your face, but it's only $1.99 for a sixer of tall boys so it's an acceptable trade off.
~Paul
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"Daaaaaaaamn!" pure grain alcohol. Why should Everclear have the market cornered?
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"THIS DICK AIN'T GONNA SUCK ITSELF" brand Sake. Americans should drink more sake.
And the tag line would be:
Sake Sake Long Time
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After listening to some New Pornographers, I'd like to add "Slow Descent" red wine. Comes in a plastic bottle.
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"THIS DICK AIN'T GONNA SUCK ITSELF" brand Sake. Americans should drink more sake.
And the tag line would be:
Sake Sake Long Time
Sometimes, I say sometimes I really lilke the way you think there Jough.
~Paul
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Bile Producer Tequila - now with ring and tapeworms.
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How 'bout Pozeur brand vodka? Put it in a fancy bottle with the slogan, "Even though you can't tell the difference, you'll pay the difference."
Or maybe "Roofie" brand PGA -- "Specially brewed for punch spikin'!"
and perhaps, "I Can't Believe I Have Such Enormous Genitals" brand beer -- From the folks that brought you the Hummer!
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After listening to some New Pornographers, I'd like to add "Slow Descent" red wine. Comes in a plastic bottle.
This spirit should come with a guarantee that one's own horrifying internal decay will be translated into a punchy pop song within six to eight weeks of the diagnosis. Also none of this flaking out and saying she's the vocalist sometimes - if I am going to die by your poisonous gravity, I get Neko Case papering the walls.
Americans should drink more sake.
Right. I happen to love sake, and I am what common parlance refers to as a Reasonable Human Being. Sake is delicious and makes me absolutely fuck*ng bananas. If capital-A Americans drank more sake, we'd be looking at fuck*ng Thunderdome in less than five years.
WE LIKE CARS DRIVING IN OVALS BUT WE CANNOT DRINK HARD WITHOUT STABBING RELATIVES, OR PERHAPS BURYING OUR CHILDREN IN CELLARS WITH GALLON JUGS OF IODINE
WOOOOOOOOO STATES' RIGHTS
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I'm surprised nobody's suggested "So Not Afraid of the fuck*ng POLICE" brand tequila.
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"I Could Be Macho If I Tried, Dammit" brand peach cordial.
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"Long-Time Companion" Peach Schnapps
"Gag Reflex" Ouzo
"Dinner Ejector" brand Fruit-flavored Malt Beverages
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if I am going to die by your poisonous gravity, I get Neko Case papering the walls.
We loves us some Neko Case in Chicago. She is purty, has one of the best voices ever, is nice, and is damned funny to boot.
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Have you seen those nudie pictures of her on the net? You ain't seen purdy yet.
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What what?!?
I know she did a much too sexeeheeeee pin-up shot (http://www.sympathyrecords.com/calendar/2000/february2000.html) for Sympathy for the Record Industry, but I think Neko Case nudie pix are an urban legend.
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Broken Shins Murphy Irish Whisky, which tastes like pure Methanol, and has roughly the same effect.
The Shane McGowan Tooth Rotter, which is actually a cocktail, made from 6 parts Coke, 2 parts Scotch, 2 parts Vodka, 2 parts Rum, and a half lb. of sugar. The christmas release plays Fairytale of New York when you unscrew the cap.
And... who the hell's Neko Case!?
Damn Atlantic.
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Like I didn't love Neko Case enough, her favorite cocktail is Maker's on the rocks! And I bring the thread full circle!
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Like I didn't love Neko Case enough, her favorite cocktail is Maker's on the rocks! And I bring the thread full circle!
And her favourite films and TV are Lynch. But then from all the descriptions of who she is I can just tell her music may well suck big time...?
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And her favourite films and TV are Lynch. But then from all the descriptions of who she is I can just tell her music may well suck big time...?
Well, I like it, for whatever the hell that's worth. I suggest you listen to it rather than make guesses based on the fact that she likes David Lynch. Blacklisted channels Patsy Cline, The Virginian is a more upbeat country/bluegrassy sort of thing. Go here (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B00006BTC6/104-2058189-2658314?v=glance) to hear samples from the former, or here (http://www.puremusic.com/listen15.html).
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We loves us some Neko Case in Chicago. She is purty, has one of the best voices ever, is nice, and is damned funny to boot.
Is she some kind of musical performer? Because Google is letting me down.
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but I think Neko Case nudie pix are an urban legend.
Oh they're out there, and they're awesome.
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but I think Neko Case nudie pix are an urban legend.
Oh they're out there, and they're awesome.
That's easy to say - but can you produce links to prove it?
Huh? Can you?
CAN YOU?
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I knew somebody was gonna call me on it, and google's letting me down at the moment. I seen 'em though, I swear.
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I knew somebody was gonna call me on it, and google's letting me down at the moment. I seen 'em though, I swear.
I've seen 'em too, dammit, I knew I should have saved them.
~Paul
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They ran in Cutie or Kutie or something like that.
And there you have it:
http://www.kutie.com/html/fotos/neko.html
I love Blacklisted. Especially Deep Red Bells: http://xenex.*****bee.org/Music/existangst/Neko_Case_-_Deep_Red_Bells.mp3. Indeed. Her pedal steel player is awesome and very fun to watch.
Of course, I am some alt.country asshole, I think.
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I love how we've now subdivided ourselves into alt.country assholes with crushes on Neko Case and hell no depression also a love of cartoon cats.
ALSO:
because this is my thread DAMMIT and i'm taking CONTROL again:
Crazy Drunk Hillbilly- "IT'S A ROOTIN' TOOTIN' AWWW GOD SOMETIMES I CRY!"
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Your second subdivision confuses me, but I am going where there's no depression (the bathroom).
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I'm seconding the alt.country assholeness. Tonight I'm going to see Southern Culture on the Skids. Not as good lookin' as Neko (thanks for the link, btw), but awesome nonetheless.
How 'bout "Booty Call" brand malt liquor?
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Hell, I was alt.country when alt.country wasn't cool.
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When was alt.country not cool? I call bullshit.
That is, I Call Bullshit brand liquor. When you get drunk enough you tell everyone that you're on to them.
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I have no idea whether I'm an alt.country asshole or not, so I am unclear on whether or not to mock you, but I do internet-heart "Deep Red Bells" desperately.
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I have no idea whether I'm an alt.country asshole or not, so I am unclear on whether or not to mock you, but I do internet-heart "Deep Red Bells" desperately.
That song appeared on Carlos D's mix and it's beautiful.
~Paul
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I have no idea whether I'm an alt.country asshole or not, so I am unclear on whether or not to mock you, but I do internet-heart "Deep Red Bells" desperately.
That song appeared on Carlos D's mix and it's beautiful.
~Paul
Yes, this would be where I heard it first. I would elaborate on my love for it, but this is the Kitchen and not the Conservatory.
Another new liquor: "I Can't Believe It's Not a Soft Drink," for those of us who have issues with booze tasting like booze.
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How about a malt liquor called "The Man" as in "I coulda been something, but The Man held me down."
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How about a malt liquor called "The Man" as in "I coulda been something, but The Man held me down."
Going with that theme: The Flu. "I can't come into work today. I got The Flu last night."
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Damn, I don't know enough about alcohol to be any good at this game, but now I think I should try to get mole rats into every thread tonight. Something like Damaraland Bitter - Has a Bite like a Mole Rat.
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Damaraland Bitter - Has a Bite like a Mole Rat.
You could probably sell massive quantities of this -- more on college campuses with good biology programs.
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http://www.kutie.com/html/fotos/neko.html
Oh. Oh, my.
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Oh. Oh, my.
What's happened to your carefully monitored little world in your absence?
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WELL I DO DECLARE
she does not have much clothes on