The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Sports & Leisure => Topic started by: linnea on April 09, 2004, 03:49:40 pm
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Oh man. After promising myself that I would not eat that nizzasty, Crisco-packed, waxy Easter candy, I have found myself hunting it down and consuming it with an almost burning compulsion.
So what are your favorite kinds, everyone? I swore that I would hold out for Godiva, but my knees get weak from those goddamned Reese's products.
Eggs, cups, mini-cups, Pop'ables... no form of chocolate snack is safe from the evil clutches of Reese's.
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Cadbury eggs and nothin' else. Until my teeth hurt.
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Cadbury Eggs were definitely in the top 5 reasons that Jesus sacrificed himself. I am convinced this is the case. But only the original creme flavor.
Those Russel-Stover CUNT eggs aren't half bad.
Jell-O eggs are a tool of The Adversary.
Pastel Nerds and M&Ms are pretty dandy, though.
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I am split between Cadbury's Creme Eggs and Cadbury's Mini Eggs as the primary reason I care about Easter. mmmm, sacrifice.
I just received my Easter care package today, and among the usual Cadbury's stipend and secular candy* (flavored fudge and caramel creams -- damn fine, but not exclusively Easteresque) I apparently have a few Reese's white-chocolate-covered peanut butter eggs. This might be totally awesome.
* This box also contained a bag of potato chips, microwave popcorn, the first volume of the "One Piece" manga, and two pairs of capris. I think it turned into the "Stuff V Left At Home After Spring Break" Box somewhere in the middle.
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(EDIT: V accidentally hit "quote" when she meant "edit" on the previous thing and spawned this. V is a moron. Carry on.)
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I have a love/hate relationship with Cadbury eggs. I always want one up until it actually happens, at which point I bite into its center and go into some kind of systolic shock from the overwhelming sugariness. I'm not sure how they achieve this effect when Pixy Stix don't, but the result is at best a variety of weird faces and at worst a violent coughing fit. Then once I'm done choking it down, within a few minutes I'm wanting another. Guinea pigs learn faster than I do in this kind of situation.
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I have a love/hate relationship with Cadbury eggs. I always want one up until it actually happens, at which point I bite into its center and go into some kind of systolic shock from the overwhelming sugariness. I'm not sure how they achieve this effect when Pixy Stix don't, but the result is at best a variety of weird faces and at worst a violent coughing fit. Then once I'm done choking it down, within a few minutes I'm wanting another. Guinea pigs learn faster than I do in this kind of situation.
This is the power of the Cadbury egg, man -- you want them even when you don't.
Come to think of it, maybe Cadbury eggs are some sort of manifestation of the fleshly world of vicarious temptation, and by eating them at Easter we're displaying how deeply we miss the point... but at least we miss the point in a highly tasty manner.
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Cadbury eggs, through and through. The classic ones -- I hate caramel, so those are out, and the double chocolate ones just aren't traditional enough. But, since I generally take small bites, I sort of prefer the little ones. That way I don't have to unhinge my jaw like a the snaky mutant that I am.
However, I am convinced that marshmallow peeps are the spawn of satan. They are, truly, The Nast. I'll forgive anyone who actually eats them, because they are the candy corn of Easter -- but I do not under any circumstances allow Peeps into my home. Especially the pink ones.
Ew.
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I love marshmallow peeps, but only after I've microwaved them for 45 seconds.
They blow up to about 5 times their size, and then AS SOON AS the microwave stops you have to open it up quickly to watch it shrink down to a tiny burnt sticky thing, which is then delicious.
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P.S. The same technique works with kittens (although they don't taste too good after you're done).
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Skittles, Jelly Belly and Malted Milk Anything. I think I prefer the candy covered malted milk eggs to actual Whoppers, though.
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The fact that they come in a milk style carton so one (me) can pour them straight down the gullet does not help a lick.
This is dangerously close to belonging in "The Conservatory and Milk Purchases".
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I have a love/hate relationship with Cadbury eggs. I always want one up until it actually happens, at which point I bite into its center and go into some kind of systolic shock from the overwhelming sugariness. I'm not sure how they achieve this effect when Pixy Stix don't, but the result is at best a variety of weird faces and at worst a violent coughing fit. Then once I'm done choking it down, within a few minutes I'm wanting another. Guinea pigs learn faster than I do in this kind of situation.
This happens to me with old Cadbury Eggs. The fresh ones (how messed up is this thought, btw?) are gooier and almost liquid. As they age the center kind of crystalizes and gets way less tastey.
Fact that freaked me out when I first heard it: Smarties are just Pixy Stix compressed into pellet form. This caused me the same look of awe as when I realized that the Barny Song is just This Old Man and Mr. Feeny from Boy Meets World was the voice of K.I.T.T.
And if you think Pixy Stix are bad you should read a package of Nerds sometime. The first three ingredients are (I believe) sugar, high fructose corn syrup, and sucrose. That makes honey look like brocoli in terms of sugar-delivery/oz.
The fact that they come in a milk style carton so one (me) can pour them straight down the gullet does not help a lick.
This is why Whoopers in other packaging (like at the movies) just don't taste as good. The carton/gullet connection is special. If Nerds came like that I'd have died from diabetic shock at age 5.
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I love marshmallow peeps, but only after I've microwaved them for 45 seconds.
They blow up to about 5 times their size, and then AS SOON AS the microwave stops you have to open it up quickly to watch it shrink down to a tiny burnt sticky thing, which is then delicious.
That is awesome.
My favorite Easter-Peeps tradition is to host a Jousting Match in my microwave.
You give each Peep a toothpick for a sword. Set the timer for 45 seconds. Whomever gets punctured first is the LOSER.
Then you can make delicious, sugary Peep S'mores with their liquefied remains. Mmm. Easter.
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Save some peeps till the summer and toss them directly onto the coals after you finish a barbeque.
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This happens to me with old Cadbury Eggs. The fresh ones (how messed up is this thought, btw?) are gooier and almost liquid. As they age the center kind of crystalizes and gets way less tastey.
I'm actually thinking of fresh Cadbury eggs here. That's the effect they have on me and I am not certain of how they manage to be more sugary than colored sugar. My assumption is that it's just because they're thicker and thus the flavor doesn't get quickly washed away or diluted by saliva.
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Sugar is like cocaine, man. It goes faster than Jeff Gordon in Raleigh... or something like that. Now, when it's slowed in its going process, as if magically suspended in a slow-flow mixture such as Cadbury filling, it's more intense than Jeff Goldblum on a mixture of heroin, pot, GHB, ecstasy, crystal meth, and Shakespeare.
Not that I celebrate(d) Easter* but tomorrow's a buddy's birthday, and mrs_choop made a sweet potato cake. It was delicioussss. I'll post the recipe as soon as I receive permission from the magazine it was in - the recipe ain't on the website. Anyway, it was dayum good.
* round these parts we calls it "ether"
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Mmmmmm, ether. It makes every Easter better.
(I spent half the day wandering around an anime convention, which is fundamentally the same neurochemical phenomenon.)
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V, you're still my internet crush. If only it were legal! And not so immoral!
;)
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Come now, Choop, surely it would be legal and sort-of-moral to long after me from afar! As long as you don't, like, marry my mother to become my guardian and then kidnap me after she dies accidentally, taking me on a cross-country road trip to oblivion and both of our certain dissolution in a mire of uncertainty and duality. I think my dad would be sort of mad about that.
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As would my wife, V.
As would my wife.
*edit* As also would Alicia Silverstone/Kirsten Dunst/Mandy Moore/Kim Catrall and her screenwriter with whom she's remaking the same goddamned movie again and again and again ...erm? Wake up, Hollywood.
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I inherited my favorite peep mutilation technique from my grandmother. Buy peeps for cheap after Easter, poke holes in the celophane, and put into cupboard, preferably until next year. Once stale, peeps turn into marshmellowy goodness.
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Me, I like Nabokov AND nasty-tasting marshmallow-thingys.
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Instead of traditional Easter candy, I received Swedish giraffe.
While I'm sure one could read a significance into that, I think it's just because my girlfriend knows that I like Swedish giraffe.
I have yet to actually eat any though, so no sugar OD for me.
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Me, I like Nabokov AND nasty-tasting marshmallow-thingys.
Hey baby, how you doin'?
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Opened up the bag of caramel creams today. These may be humanity's most perfect every-season candy and are only prevented from being the finest ever by the existence of Cadbury Mini Eggs.
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The sweetie convinced me to go out and buy huge quantites of Cadbury eggs at like 9:00 last night - so we have some 15 boxes of them in our refrigerator. Once we got them all home she looked in there, at them, and turned to me and said "I'm not eating any of those - I'm too fat". I'd get all bent out of shape about her not actually being fat, and it being a waste of money to go buy them and everything, but I get to eat 'em so the hell with it.
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Instead of traditional Easter candy, I received Swedish giraffe.
While I'm sure one could read a significance into that, I think it's just because my girlfriend knows that I like Swedish giraffe.
I have yet to actually eat any though, so no sugar OD for me.
I always get red Swedish giraffe as presents. Easter, Christmas, Steak & A Blowjob Day, birthdays. Because they are just that good.
Unlike mini Cadbury Eggs. I don't get these. They totally throw off the tastey center:shell ratio. That's why I don't like mini M&Ms and am wary of the new giant Reese Cups.
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Unlike mini Cadbury Eggs. I don't get these. They totally throw off the tastey center:shell ratio. That's why I don't like mini M&Ms and am wary of the new giant Reese Cups.
When I say "Mini Eggs" re: Cadbury, I actually mean those little candy-coated chocolate thingers in the purple packages. They are love. The ones that are just miniature versions of the Creme Eggs are also tasty, but they're not all that good compared with their siblings.
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That's why I don't like mini M&Ms and am wary of the new giant Reese Cups.
The giant Reese's Cups have their own problems. They retain the same proportions (internal and external) as a regular Reese's Cup only increased to huge size. The result is that the volume of peanut butter near the middle and chocolate near the edges increase much more than the other element, and vice versa, which not only makes them taste funny but also makes them structurally unsound such that the middle sags out. It's a living, sugary embodiment of a mathematical principle I had previously only had reason to apply to bad science-fiction movies.
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That's why I don't like mini M&Ms and am wary of the new giant Reese Cups.
The giant Reese's Cups have their own problems. They retain the same proportions (internal and external) as a regular Reese's Cup only increased to huge size. The result is that the volume of peanut butter near the middle and chocolate near the edges increase much more than the other element, and vice versa, which not only makes them taste funny but also makes them structurally unsound such that the middle sags out. It's a living, sugary embodiment of a mathematical principle I had previously only had reason to apply to bad science-fiction movies.
This is the best analogy about anything I've seen in a while. It's just plain rad, and it also evokes images of the Giant Peanut-Buttery Black Hole, ala "Event Horizon" if it had less Hell and more peanut butter.
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It made me think more of biological principles: that thing where if cells were bigger, they'd starve and fill up with garbage.
But these comically oversized chocolate saucer-items, I have not encountered. I shall have to look into it.
My best Easter candy this year was something a friend's mom gave me: one of those things where you have to turn it so the small orbs go into the little depressions in a board, but EDIBLE.
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I'm now sad at my home's criminal lack of pastel Spree/Nerds
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That's why I don't like mini M&Ms and am wary of the new giant Reese Cups.
The giant Reese's Cups have their own problems. They retain the same proportions (internal and external) as a regular Reese's Cup only increased to huge size. The result is that the volume of peanut butter near the middle and chocolate near the edges increase much more than the other element, and vice versa, which not only makes them taste funny but also makes them structurally unsound such that the middle sags out. It's a living, sugary embodiment of a mathematical principle I had previously only had reason to apply to bad science-fiction movies.
Wait a minute...
There are... GIANT Reese's cups? For real? What the hell is wrong with my local grocer's? I haven't seen them yet. :( I shall have to troll the intarweb to purchase vast quantities of said sugary-embodiment-of-wonder.
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The sweetie convinced me to go out and buy huge quantites of Cadbury eggs at like 9:00 last night - so we have some 15 boxes of them in our refrigerator. Once we got them all home she looked in there, at them, and turned to me and said "I'm not eating any of those - I'm too fat". I'd get all bent out of shape about her not actually being fat, and it being a waste of money to go buy them and everything, but I get to eat 'em so the hell with it.
This happened to me. It could be a trap. The way it went down in my case was she then proceeded to eat them anyway and, in a piquish fit of history revision, blamed me for buying them in the first place. Not that this is the only way it can go down.....but you never know.....
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It made me think more of biological principles: that thing where if cells were bigger, they'd starve and fill up with garbage.
I'm pretty sure we're thinking of the same principle here. The square/cube law, which is the thing where if you take a cube and double the length of the sides, you quadruple the surface area and octuple the volume. The upshot tends to be that a lot of things that are structurally sound on a small scale need to be redesigned on a larger scale as the mass being supported by load-bearing chocolate (for example) increases faster than the amount of chocolate underneath it. It generally gets applied to bad science-fiction movies in the format of "how does the Amazing Colossal Man breathe, much less stand up" and similar such.
(Note: Anyone who is an Actual Structural Engineer or Actual Mathematician can correct me on anything I may have gotten wrong here.)
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Wait a minute...
There are... GIANT Reese's cups? For real? What the hell is wrong with my local grocer's? I haven't seen them yet. :( I shall have to troll the intarweb to purchase vast quantities of said sugary-embodiment-of-wonder.
I've only seen them at 7-11. You only get one in the package but it's like 3"
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Hey, I LIKE those giant Reese's. I am more into the peanut butter than the chocolate, and in my experience the large size increases the PB-to-choc ratio.
If you don't like them, SEND ME YOURS.
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It generally gets applied to bad science-fiction movies in the format of "how does the Amazing Colossal Man breathe, much less stand up" and similar such.
Well, with the Amazing Colossal Man, you have the much more pressing issue that apparently the "embiggening" process made his heart a single cell. This seems troublesome.
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i gave up chocolate years ago. rarely i will dip into the confectionare's bag of sinful chocolate temptation, but when i do it is usually for reesy cups.
easter-style chocolate never made me fill the pit of emptiness i had on the inside.
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WELL AREN'T YOU JUST THE HOODLY-HOO!!?
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I don't eat Easter chocolate to fill the pit of emptiness I have on the inside. I eat Easter chocolate because it's really very, very tasty, and because chocolate is a gift from Whatever Deity You Prefer.
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i gave up chocolate years ago. rarely i will dip into the confectionare's bag of sinful chocolate temptation, but when i do it is usually for reesy cups.
easter-style chocolate never made me fill the pit of emptiness i had on the inside.
Similarly, I gave up chocolate, and rarely succumb. I did for two tiny blocks of orange and spice high cocoa content chocolate the other day, which was rather good. But, I just feel bad when I have a chocolate binge.
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I don't eat Easter chocolate to fill the pit of emptiness I have on the inside. I eat Easter chocolate because it's really very, very tasty, and because chocolate is a gift from Whatever Deity You Prefer.
i had always found Easter Chocolate to be sub par as compared to every day average chocolate as found in a Hershey's Bar et. al.
maybe my tiny child-brane could not deal with the spatial anomalies inre: a hollowed out curved piece of chocolate in the shape of a bunny,
but it DID always SEEM to taste different to me.
plus, it was always so freakin' hard.
and slink, i too feel dirty and demeaned whenever i succumb to the junkie's urge to binge and purge.
non-chocolate Easter Candy: i like jelly beans, though. not the licorice ones, they're not right.
the most beautiful woman in the world connived me into trying those Malted Eggs. that must be the most horrid tast SENSATION to ever be inside me. it's not just that the taste buds of my tounge went "*wretch*", but every fiber of my body went "*wretch*", as in "you fookin' wretch, how dare you let this in, your diaphragm will now spasm painfully".
i always preferred Halloween to Easter. but then i like candy corn.
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Someone gave me a package of something called Bunny Corn. It looks like candy corn, but in pastel colors. Highly unnatural. It doesn't taste the same to me (even if I close my eyes), but that might just be because it's the wrong brand.
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Someone gave me a package of something called Bunny Corn. It looks like candy corn, but in pastel colors. Highly unnatural.
There is something wrong with this idea in a way I can't entirely give a verbal equivalent. Suffice to say it gives me the screaming fantods.
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i had always found Easter Chocolate to be sub par as compared to every day average chocolate as found in a Hershey's Bar et. al.
maybe my tiny child-brane could not deal with the spatial anomalies inre: a hollowed out curved piece of chocolate in the shape of a bunny,
but it DID always SEEM to taste different to me.
plus, it was always so freakin' hard.
the most beautiful woman in the world connived me into trying those Malted Eggs. that must be the most horrid tast SENSATION to ever be inside me. it's not just that the taste buds of my tounge went "*wretch*", but every fiber of my body went "*wretch*", as in "you fookin' wretch, how dare you let this in, your diaphragm will now spasm painfully".
That hollow crap is not chocolate. I don't know what it is, but chocolate it ain't. It's not even carob.
I like malted milk balls but I had that exact same reaction the first time I ate cilantro. I've managed to supress it a bit now but it still happens whenever that vile stuff hides in my food.
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Someone gave me a package of something called Bunny Corn. It looks like candy corn, but in pastel colors. Highly unnatural. It doesn't taste the same to me (even if I close my eyes), but that might just be because it's the wrong brand.
i'm intrigued by this, but i think part of the pleasure of Candy Corn is to eat it in order of the coloring, from tip to top.
if the Bunny Candy Corn is color-layered, then it would be more enticing.
not tasting the same- i have always succumbed to "tasting with my eyes" as my dad was wont to say. i always tried to explain to him that it was more than simple visual stimuli, but the texture and shape of food as well. he kept trying to make me eat Bubble and Squeak though.
so to those who say "you just psychosomatically don't like it" i say "no, i just psychosomatically don't like you, the food's just nasty."
i think i'm rambling again. i'm quitting smoking, again.
this is not going so well.
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Well, I mean seriously, and look at the name: Bubble and Squeak. I'd say the appearence, however dastardly, is the least of its problems.
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Bunny Corn?
What the HELL, people.
And if I read Asherdan correctly, I'm with him. I LOVES ME some malt chocolate eggs. And whoppers are awesome but, I learned in college, not with copious amounts of Bacardi 151.
I thought I was dying that night.