The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: PinkStainlessTail on August 07, 2003, 01:04:25 pm
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My mom always said "If you don't have anything nice to say, be pointedly silent".
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UPDATE: The sex thing that got added had a couple good things, like the Will Smith one.
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I actually liked the song.
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My mom always said "If you don't have anything nice to say, be pointedly silent".
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One time when I was in fifth grade, Mrs. Royster said something, and I told her she was wrong, and she didn't believe me. It later turned out that I was right. Being the wonderful magnanimous child I was, I said, "I won't say 'I told you so'."
Mrs. Royster then said, "You just did."
I learned a valuable lesson that day. I had forgotten it, until your message. Thank you.
At least it's a whipping zoo and not a NoFX-style heavy petting zoo.
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i have issued an email to all dumbrella cartoonists expressing my condolences at the loss of achewood, due to his poor selection of a whiny-voiced generic-ass theme song.
it is a sad day on the inter-net.
one of my 5 favorite strips no longer exists.
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Hmmmm. Yeeeeeeessss.
Ok so the Will Smith line made me laugh. Apart from that... Goddamnit! Hurry up and find your footing... or quit...
And wtf!? Wednesday's strip better be good!
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Now I think it's lame on purpose (the song was pretty funny, though).
I'll posit that Onstad knows what funny is. And that the other Chris in the second part of this week's installment doesn't actually exist. And that Onstad knows how to write comedy in prose form (vis-a-vis Ray's Place) and make it funny. And that for two weeks in a row the Variety hour has been hella lame.
Given the above, the only conclusion is that Onstad is trying to make it lame on purpose.
If this is some bold new experiment to see how long he can serve up decidely lame prose, what's the point? Ha ha, I got you to read lame stuff?
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
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Next week I hope Onstad doesn't restort to using "your mom is so fat" 10year old in the playground jokes. Sheesh, I've heard better ones from the local top 40 dj's on the crappy pop radio station here.
Well the Benny Hill reference did bring a smile to my face, but hell, it'd have been funnier if he'd have had Ray and Roast Beef talking about them in a strip.
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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
is that how it goes? I thought it went:
We have an old saying in Texas: Fool me once, shame... shame on you. Fool me twice... fool me ... well, you're not gonna fool me again.
Oh no, wait. That's how the president says it.
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damn, don't write in and tell him how you feel about the song or you're gonna have to fuck off.
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I think "The other Chris" really is another chris. The Whipping Zoo wasn't really Onstad's style. I haven't listened to the .mp3 yet (no speakers at work) but I thought the visual euphamisms bit was pretty OK. Not great, just OK. And it was definitely Onstad's voice. Even when he's speaking through Ray or Beef or Lyle, Onstad had a distinctive style about him.
This other guy's a little on the Brunching (http://www.brunching.com)side of the humor spectrum. (Dave Nielson Brunching, not Lore Brunching.)
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I'll posit that Onstad knows what funny is. And that the other Chris in the second part of this week's installment doesn't actually exist.
Evidence (http://chappie.stanford.edu/staff/staff.html) of Onstad and the other Chris coexisting.
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Maybe he wrote the song. Maybe that's Onstad singing, and you hurt his feelings, rstevens?
Anyway, may I re-iterate how lame the Variety Hour was this week?
I've thought of IMing him and asking if he knew it was lame, or if we needed to do some kind of intervention or something, but I figure I'll leave the li'l guy alone until he's posted Wednesday's strip.
I'd hate to disturb him from his busy schedule of eating cheese curls and drinking.
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Evidence (http://chappie.stanford.edu/staff/staff.html) of Onstad and the other Chris coexisting.
Oh, so the other Chris is one of Onstad's old lame friends from Stanford?
I wonder if the "fit fifteen" are any of the others from "back in the day."
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This other guy's a little on the Brunching (http://www.brunching.com)side of the humor spectrum. (Dave Nielson Brunching, not Lore Brunching.)
I totally agree. It also reminded me a bit of DVD Special Features Nobody Wants (http://www.brunching.com/baddvd.html)
And I swear he's been changing this thing today. I really don't remember the sex part being there this morning, or the Ron Jeremy line being there the first time I looked. I'm going crazy!
[Edit: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, prepare to die! — Klingon Proverb]
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How can you not like the song? It is completely appropriate for the theme song to the internet-advice column of a cartoon cat. It's silly.
And this is my version of the "fool me once..." aphorism, that I created at a poker game:
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times.... Fuck you! Stop fooling me!"
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.....that........... wasn't funny. Although now I am all anxious about whether it is being meta-lame or a postmodern commentary on bad humour or whether it just sucks. This needs to be settled somehow.
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Liked Ray's theme song and theWill Smith line. The rest = meh.
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I was giving this 'variety hour' thing a chance, but if it gets worse than this, I am sending flowers.
I really hope this isn't the beginning of the death flop, or death rattle or senile dementia or a 'regrouping of 'chaps' from my ole college days'...
never mind me. I am just in withdrawl from the Achewood strippery I LOVE SO MUCH.
::weeps without pause::
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Pfeh. You people will apparently never be satisfied. I liked the song. I will probably use the phrase "You should have been clothes!" in conversation without even realizing it.
CAN YOU LET THE MAN DO HIS THING FOR A LITTLE WHILE
OR IS IT TIME TO BE DWEEBS
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Hey, I complained when Charles Shultz started doing his strips in color. TOO DISTRACTING, THIS WORLD IN COLOR. Hurts my eyes, it does.
Dweeb, I am. Know I.
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Kelly, you could not be a dweeb.
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And I swear he's been changing this thing today. I really don't remember the sex part being there this morning, or the Ron Jeremy line being there the first time I looked. I'm going crazy!
You're right. He's changing it. The title now includes the phrase "To be culled from stock footage."
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Dweeb, I am. Know I.
You've been studying Japanese word order haven't you?
I have to say I was mildly disappointed. i did enjoy some of the lyrics of the song now I've listened to it.
I'm still gonna give him a month/month and a half tops to see how it turns out and if I start enjoying it &c.
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I haven't downloaded the MP3 yet, but I know that the Milwaukee Youth Center Choir is at least a band that exists somewhere other than Onstad's head. They intermittently do stuff on Songfight (http://www.songfight.com), and I'm of the opinion that they're pretty good.
Anyway... that said, I think this Variety Hour was an improvement over the first one, but not by all that much. The Whipping Zoo had its moments but didn't fit well with the tone of Achewood; it was sort of too nasty and trite. I agree with JL and Cort that it would have made a better Brunching article. The Sexual Metaphors... almost got there, but somehow they didn't quite make it and ended with a whimper.
Overall, not entirely lame, but still really not particularly good. I'll still give Onstad more time to get his footing.
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I liked the first Variety Hour ... but was not too thrilled with this one. I don't intend to download the song and I didn't read anything but the last item (well, I skimmed the other thing).
And Jon, say what you will, but there is no reason for Onstad to do this stuff if it doesn't please his readers. It may be an indie art statment to do eclectic pieces on the Internet that nobody reads, but that seems to be an awful lot of work for nothing. The sad thing about this is that we all know that Chris can do a lot better than this. He isn't Indie Comic Chris, with no talent to back it up.
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And Jon, say what you will, but there is no reason for Onstad to do this stuff if it doesn't please his readers.
It pleased me. I simply take issue with the apparent fact that we can't let this man have what might be construed as an "off" day even once. And that's a big "might be" -- I, for one, liked it. And I still balk at broadcasting sweeping general statements about the Variety Hour in general after only its second installment.
Comic Book Guy: Last night's "Itchy & Scratchy" was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.
Bart: Hey, I know it wasn't great, but what right do you have to complain?
CBG: As a loyal viewer, I feel they owe me.
Bart: What? They're giving you thousands of hours of entertainment for free. What could they possibly owe you? If anything, you owe them.
CBG: [pauses] Worst episode ever.
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Yes, but j, you have to realize that you're speaking (writing) to seventy five Comic Book Guys. And me.
Remember your audience.
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The Grand High List of the Purposes of the Internet:
[list=1]- Porn
- Bitching about everything (literally) anonymously without any right too
- Mapquest
- Downloading entertainment for free
- Other entertainment, news, research, misc[/list:o]
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The Grand High List of the Purposes of the Internet:
[list=1]- Porn
- Bitching about everything (literally) anonymously without any right too
- Mapquest
- Downloading entertainment for free
- Other entertainment, news, research, misc[/list:o]
You forgot the purpose to waist countless hours of valuable business resources/time as we do this from work!
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Yes, but j, you have to realize that you're speaking (writing) to seventy five Comic Book Guys. And me.
Remember your audience.
I am constantly striving for the improvement of the internet at large. ^_^
"Discourse Stu likes discourse theory!"
- also stolen from the internet
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BLAH BLAH FREE BLAH BLAH BLAH NO RIGHT TO BITCH BLAH BLAH BLAH FREE BLAH BLAH.
I believe I would pay to have the memory of that mess removed from my head. Awful, simply awful, and the song was awful too.
~Paul
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The song's grown on me, actually. No, it's not *good*, but it's mega-cheesy and really bad, and somehow that makes it a little pathetic.
Which right now seems like a funny *idea* even if in practice the song was not funny.
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The song made me laugh (well, grin, at least) so it served its purpose for one reader (listener?) at least. I always thought I was a snob, but now I'm not so sure.
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You know, sometimes I have a lot of stuff going on in my life, so I don't check my favorite comics for like 2 weeks. Then, if I read some of them and they don't appeal to me, it is no big deal. I certainly don't blame anyone for bitching about it, although I, personally, am trying to move away from the "bitching about things" lifestyle and to the "doing something about those things that I can control" lifestyle. Honestly, though, I wouldn't say that every Achewood in the past has been gold, and this is probably just a patch that some folks aren't liking. I like the fact he is trying some different stuff. Maybe he doesn't care as much about having fans as he does about being able to do whatever he wants.
For instance, I like the Rolling Stones, but I can't advise buying "Steel Wheels" or "Bridges to Babylon." Doesn't mean that they suck, doesn't mean that they shouldn't have been released, just means I don't like them. But I'm not going to complain about it (other than right here, for the purpose of flailing about trying to make a point).
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Everything I wanted to say has already been said. I just wanted to make sure nobody thought I was dead.
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Thank God, I was beginning to wonder about that.
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Hmmm....
Ithink Onstad may need a holiday ,like a couple of months, to let his mind fallow.
Ok, it's kind of like you have sponge soaked with beer and at first when you wring it out in to your glass/mouth it's good and liquidy but as the sponge gets drier, and the harder you try to twist out beery goodness, the fount is mere droplets of spongy tasting dregs. Onstad may need some time to go resoak his sponge in the puddle of inspiration, and possibly beer.
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JESUS GOD ALERT THE PRESSES
MONKEYB IS A FREAKING POET
No, seriously, did you read the Esquire article by Dan Rather or what? Ha!
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no,just cold medication and a migraine.
what's with the "et" ? I didn't type that in (i think,but at this point i could be wrong),it was a space like this, .
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ok ,no "et" is "and",why am i being translated in to french?
how the hell did this thing know i was canadian?
spookiness.
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damnit!
what in the sweet sweet heckola?
gonna try that again...
a*n*d
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pssst... it's "El Guapo" poking around y having fun.
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I'm just going on a bender and censoring/replacing common words every hour or so.
GUESS WHICH ONE IT IS NOW!
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NICE.
VERY VERY NICE.
Gods, it must be fun to moderate your own messageboard.
One more post and I'm BLISTER! Yay.
[edit: just noticed the phrase-substitution as well. Dildohead would be proud.]
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It is not so much fun, but I try to entertain myself.
What word will I change next???
BUM BUM BUUUUUUUUM
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It's El Guapo's Cavalcade of Linguistic Mystery!
What will it be next? "and?" "or?" "but?" That Dumbrella favorite, "*****?"
Oh, the anticipation!
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Heh. Miss Pissy.
Oh, I'm BLISTER now.
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congrats.
Enjoy the heady heights of Blister infamy while you can.
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The Dumbrellates are ripping today’s Achewood. Onstad is falling out of favor there. I thought there was some deeper bond between all the Dumbrella artists other than sharing a message board. Maybe there’s not.
This week’s variety hour:
The song: to me it was weak.
Whipping zoo: nice, reminded me of the Belated Christmas strip (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=12272001) with its juxtaposition of sentimentality and violence. But cartoonists should show not tell.
Visual euphemisms: otherwise known as sight gags, which I can’t stomach, whether done by “Austin Powers” or any other lame-ass shit.
Should Onstad be doing these variety pieces instead of a daily comic? I think it’s lazy.
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I have to agree, it's lazy. Along with the closing of the old board, it seems to indicate that Ontad is losing his affinity/affection for his characters and the Achewood world.
Which is why I think he needs a break to refresh. Hell,let someone else take over for a couple of months,do reader art,whatever. Though the celebrated
jldunston mentioned that Onstad is a control freak, so that could be difficult for him.
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Or, just plain ol' take a vacation. Achewood by anybody else wouldn't be Achewood.
Although, I must say that I've found the recent strips (when they appear) excellent. I mean, Nightlife Mingus? Wonderful.
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Or, just plain ol' take a vacation. Achewood by anybody else wouldn't be Achewood.
Yes. As high-quality as the guest week-plus was, most of that was because of the novelty; say, three months of "guest week" would start to get old.
I guess that's something that worries me about the "Fit Fifteen" element of the Variety Hour; it's basically a regular guest feature taking the place of normal Achewood. That, and if it's based on Onstad's old college humor-magazine cronies, there's immense potential for lack of quality control, but that's a whole different can of worms...
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Is it time to ask for a new messageboard yet?
That will solve everything!
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Is it time to ask for a new messageboard yet?
That will solve everything!
Apparently you've confused "a new message board" with "large volumes of alcohol." A common mistake.
Now if you've excuse me, I'm going to run to the bar a attempt to solve everything.
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I had this brilliant dream where every tiny thing a particular artist did or did not do wasn't analyzed to the point where all of the joy was sucked out of it, leaving behind a withered, dried husk of a thing that was really only meant to amuse and entertain people. Then I woke up and wept bitter, salty tears.
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Gee Gear, J. When did you get so jaded?
(Ferociously J-ded, I would even say!)
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To me, a thing like Achewood is somebody coming up to me and saying "Here. Here is a thing I have made. I hope it gives you some entertainment, maybe injects a little spontaneous joy into your life." He's not really asking for anything else.* I, for one, am content to accept what I have been given gratefully, because it does exactly that, i.e. entertains me/injects a little spontaneous joy into my life. I like to talk about it, maybe even speculate a little about, for example, which of the Achewood cast we might want to go on a road trip with, or where. But any further sort of "Well I think this is what he's doing" or "He needs to do this" or, most prominently, "This thing sucks," is either a waste of time, counterproductive, or just plain bitchy. I reserve the right to point this out from time to time, just because we need some kind of dissenting voice. ^_^
* Whether we buy his merchandise, for instance, is entirely dependent on our enjoyment of the thing that is being offered.
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But if a child came up to you and said "Hello, I made this for you. I hope you find it fun," and hands you a jar of their own feces, must you find it fun because they made it?
There are a lot of things that are "free" such as commercials, tv shows, music on the radio, etc. But just because someone made it doesn't mean I have to like it. It also doesn't mean I can't voice my displeasure about it.
If all anyone on the old Achewood board ever talked about was who they would like to go on a road-trip with, and never discussed the fact that they did/did not like to see Ray in every single strip; and then one day everyone stopped going to visit Achewood and stopped visiting the boards, and stopped buying hoodies because of the Ray-centric strips, wouldn't Mr. Onstad like to know about it? Wouldn't you feel obligated to let him know what keeps you away from the site and possibly buying merchandise? Or must everything be rainbows and pony rides as his livelihood goes under?
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But if a child came up to you and said "Hello, I made this for you. I hope you find it fun," and hands you a jar of their own feces, must you find it fun because they made it?
Obviously not. I never said the mere act of creating something automatically validates it. I find Achewood fun because it's good, not solely because of its status as a created work.
Wouldn't you feel obligated to let him know what keeps you away from the site and possibly buying merchandise? Or must everything be rainbows and pony rides as his livelihood goes under?
This argument is also ridiculous. Onstad doesn't even read this board.
Look; you can like what you like and hate what you hate. I simply fail to see the usefulness in constantly bitching about scheduling or pointing out things that you think sucked. Congratulations: You're an asshole.
[edit: That came this close to being a Wraithstyle post.]
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So, by your logic if I post my opinion of onstad's work in a free, artistic form that you cannot dislike it or complain about it as it's free and I did not ask for your input?? hmm.. now to make this artistic roses aren't blueviolets are violet.
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So if my "bitching" makes me an asshole, then you're bitching about my bitching makes you a super-asshole or are you an asshole supreme?
I never said it was this board specifically. I was merely mentioning that the no arena for feedback prevents him from knowing how everyone feels.
This, in turn, doesn't allow him to know why everyone is dis-satisfied with the work he is currently putting out.
If you find everything about Achewood good, then that is your perogative.
I personally do not even go to Achewood.com on Tuesday or Thursday. I find out about those pieces thanks to this site.
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It's been said that I am in the business of crushing dissent. Well, I'm not. Dissent is good, healthy, and vital to maintaining an active, interesting, and thought-provoking message board. Unfortunately, in this instance, some people are getting upset, and I don't like that. I don't like that at all.
The long and short of it is, some people are going to post what they like and dislike about Achewood and Onstad on this board. And that's OK. And other people are going to overanalyze the strips for their literary symbolism. And that's OK too. And a whole other subset of people are going to hate everything about the first two subsets, and that's fine. But when subsets of people stop getting along, that's when I start locking threads.
Whether you think we should take what we can get from Onstad and appreciate it for what it is, or that since we provide him with his livelihood (by purchasing his stuff), we can hold him responsible for lackluster performance, please do us all a favor and respect the opinions of the people who disagree with you. We are not here to argue the merits of commercial art vs. art for art's sake. Nor are we here to define what "art" is. Take your philosophy 101 classes elsewhere -- like to the "Thoughts" forum on this very board. These forums are here to discuss Achewood, the comic strip, period. As a general rule, expect to see topics closed when two people begin arguing something that simply cannot ever be brought to a mutually acceptable resolution.
I don't want to close this topic. I'm not going to close this topic at this time. But I will if the bickering continues. Please prove to me that this is something that can be discussed coolly and civilly.
Then shake hands and say, "Good game."
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I like the fact that we all like different things about Achewood!! And life/the world even. I'm glad I'm not an ass! I think therefore I am!( to quote Rene' Descartes) and with a little logic thrown in.. I think I am not an ass, therefore I am not an ass. I like how that works. Oh yeah, and I like the idea of the variety hour, even if it's still not proving funny to me. I write on my own behalf and only express my own oppions, which are infinately important. (to me anyhow, and I know how big infinity is!!)
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I don't care what other's opinions are, but if someone labels me an asshole for having an opinion different than theirs I will retaliate in kind. I can stoop with the best of them when the need arises.
I've been reading Achewood for a long time, almost since the beginning. I read the forums at Dumbrella but never posted because I never felt comfortable doing so - quite frankly for the very reason that can be seen 6 posts up.
If this is how things will be here, then so long and thanks for nothing. I don't have to come here, I just enjoyed the company even if I only ever stood against the back wall listening to what others had to say.
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Stingray Fred, please don't take one opinion as the concensus of the group (and from the replies so far, you can see that we tend to beat down those who try to mess things up for everyone else).
If the ferocious one doesn't like reading threads he knows the way to the door. Or he can try to make a case for his views and maybe even turn people around to his way of thinking.
Or not. But what's the point of who's the bigger asshole? I'll make it easy. You're all assholes.
There.
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Carefully read these two sentences again:
I simply fail to see the usefulness in constantly bitching about scheduling or pointing out things that you think sucked. Congratulations: You're an asshole.
In retrospect, I can see how it would be misinterpreted, but my intent was not to address any specific person; rather, the generic "you" refers to that class of person whose only apparent purpose on boards like these is to (a) bitch about scheduling ("Where's my strip? There's no strip for today! OMG WTF blrhrrk;glrasdf") and (b) point out things that they think sucked.
Anyone can have an opinion. This is OK. Whether one chooses to express this opinion, and also how that opinion is expressed, is what places them in Asshole Country or not.
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Okay, FJ, fair enough.
But really, if there was ever a place to bitch about Onstad's lack of prompt schedule adhesion, it's this board.
It's not like someone else is making up the schedule. And without a new strip to talk about the achewood fora get lame quickly.
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Two quick points and I swear I'll stop talkin'.
But really, if there was ever a place to bitch about Onstad's lack of prompt schedule adhesion, it's this board.
Just because you can does not necessarily mean you should.*
And without a new strip to talk about the achewood fora get lame quickly.
I do appreciate the inclusion of fora to talk about non-achewood stuff, though ... I'm thinking that should be where peoples' energy should be directed on those non-strip days.
* Or as Chris Rock put it, "Just 'cause you can do it don't mean it's a good fuckin' idea!"
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blah blah blah blah blah.... Whether one chooses to express this opinion, and also how that opinion is expressed, is what places them in Asshole Country or not.
Yeah, well we all know who the King of Asshole Country is!! :ducks to avoid the cow being flung over the wall of the Asshole Castle:
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SHIT FLINGING IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE.
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AMEN.