The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Achewood => Achewood => Topic started by: V-Adore on May 02, 2004, 06:26:36 am
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Apparently this got missed, which is a shame, because it's pretty good. (About the humor, anyway; the advice is fairly spotty, in the "Onstad really not trying" way, but hey.)
Best part, in my mind, is either the bit at the end about the nature videos or the vignette about Sober Lyle. Dang.
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"Papa Andy's Baja Party Urine." Classic.
This is one of the best Ray's ever.
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Sober Lyle really did it for me, especially "he laid down in a creek for about four hours." I picture Lyle passed out, face down, inches away from drowning. And no one seems to care. Then he's got to have a serious conversation Ray.
Hell, I'd get drunk after that too.
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I liked the Lyle biz, but also the part right at the start about the IT consultants basically dogging Ray. Ray is taking a tremendous amount of shit lately, off of just everyone. Soon we'll get a strip where it is just Philippe saying "No, fuck you, Ray."
I like the idea of Ray with the top of his head open and a hand pouring margaritas in.
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This is the finest explanation of Miami Vice ever.
Man, remember how cool that guy was in that show? White canvas shoes with a rattan sole, loose white trousers, pale peach blazer, shooting his Lamborghini Countach through a movie screen-size plate glass window as Phil Collins ducked under a white leather sofa. Early INXS tunes (Listen Like Thieves era) would be playing on the stereo system, until Jan Hammer’s intense music broke in over it all and the dudes had a shooting and kicking fight (which Don always won). Damn. God dammit.
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So what is the best lube for anal, anyway?*
*I only made this comment to make jl vaguely uncomfortable.
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You know what's vaguely uncomfortable?
NO lube.
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So what is the best lube for anal, anyway?*
*I only made this comment to make jl vaguely uncomfortable.
[ballbreaking]
Cort, try a few. Which ever one doesn't give your asshole a rash is a good choice.
[/ballbreaking]
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Why is the entire Internet about lube and bad choices for it lately?!
Don't ask. Just don't.
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Why is the entire Internet about lube and bad choices for it lately?!
Don't ask. Just don't.
you just asked
and then said "don't ask".
?
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?
Damn hindsight!
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You know what's vaguely uncomfortable?
NO lube.
I would guess (and it's an uninformed guess, dammit!) that would be more than vaguely uncomfortable. "Horribly painful" is a phrase that springs to mind.
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You know what's vaguely uncomfortable?
NO lube.
I would guess (and it's an uninformed guess, dammit!) that would be more than vaguely uncomfortable. "Horribly painful" is a phrase that springs to mind.
It depends. If it's just your own finger then . . .
Nevermind.
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So what is the best lube for anal, anyway?*
*I only made this comment to make jl vaguely uncomfortable.
Well, I wouldn't know from *personal* experience, but the girls at Babeland (http://www.babeland.com) recommend Slippery Stuff or Maximus -- both of which are water-based. Basically, you want something water-based (and thus condom-safe) and thick.
No discomfort here, Cort ;)
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Stick with the old reliables - Astroglide is always a good all-purpose choice.
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I thought WD-40 worked for everything.
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So what is the best lube for anal, anyway?*
*I only made this comment to make jl vaguely uncomfortable.
Well, I wouldn't know from *personal* experience, but the girls at Babeland (http://www.babeland.com) recommend Slippery Stuff or Maximus -- both of which are water-based. Basically, you want something water-based (and thus condom-safe) and thick.
No discomfort here, Cort ;)
I was going for the "mental picture of somebody you know" shuddering-vibe
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*shudder*
Okay, you got me there.
Victory may be yours for now, my evil friend...but I will win the day!
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I thought WD-40 worked for everything.
I'm pretty sure it's good stuff for loosening up a rusty trombone.
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If you are the one 'playing' the rusty trombone (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Rusty+trombone&f=1), you may already have ruined your spit valve. Depending on how many tunes, how many trombones, etc.
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There's some worrying around the homestead about having a ruined spit valve. I think it's getting used too much.
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Maybe your slide is the wrong size.
She could use her fingers more if you got a valve trombone for her to use when the slide trombone isn't available, too.
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Maybe your slide is the wrong size.
You flatter me. Also, the trombone in question is sort of a player trombone, in a manner of speaking.
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The Rusty Trombone has now reached into entire OTHER SECTIONS OF THE MESSAGEBOARD. I thought it was just going to be a one-note joke, but apparently everyone on this messageboard LOVES rusty trombones!
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Dude, before you go thinking you started this....we've been down this, the Sanchez, Steamer, Blumpie and a lot of other dark, dank alleys before you got here.
We've been the dirtiest dudes in town for some time now. Welcome to our Fetid Mental Swamp.
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Dude, before you go thinking you started this....we've been down this, the Sanchez, Steamer, Blumpie and a lot of other dark, dank alleys before you got here.
We've been the dirtiest dudes in town for some time now. Welcome to our Fetid Mental Swamp.
If we're so dirty then why haven't any of our posts been blacked with with thick bars (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01142002)?
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Dude, before you go thinking you started this....we've been down this, the Sanchez, Steamer, Blumpie and a lot of other dark, dank alleys before you got here.
We've been the dirtiest dudes in town for some time now. Welcome to our Fetid Mental Swamp.
If we're so dirty then why haven't any of our posts been blacked with with thick bars (http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=01142002)?
Well, I think the message board equivalent is this. (http://achewood.plagiarist.com/viewtopic.php?t=947&start=25)