The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => History => Topic started by: revdj on May 04, 2004, 03:39:54 am
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This is to voice my dissatisfaction with achewood's commentaries. What follows is a call to action for those of us who care -- a large enough number to stand uncompromised in a world that's on the brink of achewood-induced disaster. Should we be concerned that achewood wants to palm off our present situation as the compelling ground for worldwide autism? I'll answer that question for you: Yes, we should doubtlessly be concerned, because there are few certainties in life. I have counted only three: death, taxes, and achewood announcing some deplorable thing every few weeks.
Achewood does, occasionally, make a valid point. But when it says that everything is happy and fine and good, that's where the facts end and the ludicrousness begins. Take, for example, squalid libertines. Now look at achewood. If you don't believe there's a similarity, then consider that I can sincerely suggest how it ought to behave. Ultimately, however, the burden of acting with moral rectitude lies with achewood itself.
Sadly, in once sense, achewood is correct. If we let it make mumpish nonentities out to be something they're not, then I will really be forced to leave the country. Achewood's hired goons consider its ideas a breath of fresh air. I, however, find them more like the fetid odor of heathenism. Achewood has always promoted the trendiest causes, the causes that all of the important people promote. People have commented that there may be a gap in my logic there. I don't think there is, and I've gone to great pains to explain why.
In other words, achewood's activities are not an abstract problem. They have very concrete, immediate, and unpleasant consequences. For instance, you might have heard the story that achewood once agreed to help us build a society in which people have a sense of permanence and stability, not chaos and uncertainty. No one has located the document in which achewood said that. No one has identified when or where achewood said that. That's because it never said it. As you might have suspected, achewood says that it has mystical powers of divination and prophecy. I've seen more plausible things scrawled on the bathroom walls in elementary schools. One wonders how achewood can complain about shameless insurrectionists, given that its own intimations also aim to herald the death of intelligent discourse on college campuses.
To the best of my knowledge, achewood's epigrams were never about tolerance and equality. That was just window dressing for the "innocents". Rather, achewood is a psychologically defective organization. It's what the psychiatrists call a constitutional psychopath or a sociopath. We must learn to celebrate our diversity, not because it is the politically correct thing to do, but because if the only way to create greater public understanding of the damage caused by its perversions is for me to have to fight with one hand tied behind my back, then so be it. It would decidedly be worth it, because those of us who are too lazy or disinterested to break the spell of great expectations that now binds improvident vigilantes to achewood have no right to complain when it and its supporters tap into the national resurgence of overt irreligionism. Parasitic and callow, achewood's snow jobs resemble a dilapidated shed. Kick in the door and the whole rotten structure will collapse, proving my claim that someone has been giving achewood's brain a very thorough washing, and now achewood is trying to do the same to us. My intention here is not just to punish those who lie or connive at half-truths, but also to examine the social and cultural conditions that spread overbearing, catty views. I truly don't believe that everything achewood says is thoroughly and completely true. So when it says that that's what I believe, I see how little it understands my position. I could be wrong about any or all of this, but at the moment, the above fits what I know of history, people, and current conditions. If anyone sees anything wrong or has some new facts or theories on this, I'd love to hear about them.
Revdj
(cf: Scott Pakin)
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My dog has no nose.
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Terrible!
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Dissatisfaction noted.
Point missed.
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Terrible!
I Love You, V!
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Rev, I think you're wasting that stuff on us. If you're so smart, why aren't you shooting lasers out of your eyes?
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Terrible!
I Love You, V!
We mod-types, we gotta stick together.
Which is why this is getting moved to the Study. Take good, good care of it.
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Sigh.
I'm not drunk yet, but I'd like to be. Can someone please translate whatever Rev is trying to say into something that I might be better able to understand, like Yiddish or that Bushman clicking language? Because as it stands, I have no idea what they are saying. Is it a joke? A true complaint?
WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE.
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Rev, you're right. I'll bring the shotgun, you bring enough peyote to last us both until Utah.
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It's time to defenestrate this repressive hegemony, etc.
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Alcohol and
http://www.pakin.org/complaint
do not mix.
Sorry about that, gang.
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It looked like an autogenerator. It was all blah blah achewood blah blah blah blah. And I was like Jon Katz is back?
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It's funny that he feels the need to addd a disclaimer and then say "The fact that I have to include the above text is a sad comment on our society", but he doesn't put in a disclaimer that it is sad that it's not funny to begin with.
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Alcohol and
http://www.pakin.org/complaint
do not mix.
Sorry about that, gang.
So no soaking the car's floor mats with ether while popping amyls and shooting at cacti?
We have to get to Vegas to cover that motorcycle show, man!
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Alcohol and
http://www.pakin.org/complaint
do not mix.
Sorry about that, gang.
You wrote that shit on a BENDER?
Good Christ...that reminds me of the last Winter Olympics when they tried to take the Gold medal away from the Freestyle Snowboarder because he smoked pot...I say, give him two...because if he can do that crazy aerial shit stoned, he must be awesome....
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Alcohol and
http://www.pakin.org/complaint
do not mix.
Sorry about that, gang.
Man, hove some dignity.
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Speaking of having some dignity, to rephrase:
You typed the word ACHEWOOD into an automatic complaint letter generator on a BENDER?
I'm an idiot.
Thanks for listening.
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Man, hove some dignity.
I dunno, V. Dude pretty much hove (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=hove) dignity about as far as one can already, me thinks.
And here I thought it was just a particularly hilarious MBing-while-drunk typo. Learn something new every day, I s'pose.
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Speaking of having some dignity, to rephrase:
You typed the word ACHEWOOD into an automatic complaint letter generator on a BENDER?
I'm an idiot.
Thanks for listening.
Hey, I typed it accurately.
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Man, hove some dignity.
I dunno, V. Dude pretty much hove (http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=hove) dignity about as far as one can already, me thinks.
BURN!!!
POINTS AWARDED:
ASHERDAN: +3 SNARK, REWARDED CLEVER ##### FOR THE DAY.
POINTS DEDUCTED:
V-ADORE: -2 MADD L33T ENGLISH SKILLZ
ENGLISH LANGUAGE: -5 SLOW DECLINE INTO PATOIS
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My complaint?
THIS IS LAME