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People & Places / Re: Ahhh! To be 16 again!
« on: February 16, 2008, 09:34:08 pm »
To be 16 again while remembering my experiences and life lessons from the this time trough. I will have to admit that I would jump at the chance. I would start by dumping the rebel attitude I had, being more respectful to everyone, and getting involved in my family and my community. I would put more emphasis on school and my martial arts training and I would attend university right out of high school, not community college 5 years after dropping out of high school.
During the first time through I spent too much time trying to prove how tough I really wasn't. In the end I just ended up proving to the world, and myself, that I was nothing more than a punk. Regrets? I have many. Bad decisions? I have made more than my share. And I have spent the last 15 years, since I finally grew up, trying to make up for it. To avoid hurting who I hurt (physically and emotionally) and to help those who should have helped in the first place, instead of ignoring them, would justify the changes that would happen as a result of going back. For things would change. Lets be honest with ourselves. Who we are, what we are and where we are is a direct result of where we were when we were there and the decisions we while we were there. If I were not at a specific party, at a specific time on a specific day I would not have met the guy would become a friend of mine. That guy would not have introduced me to the women would the not become my long term girlfriend with whom I would not live with for 4 years. That girlfriend would have a friend who I would not have eventually dated and married some time after that girlfriend and I broke up. If I had changed my focus and made better choices I would not have been at that party. As a result I would not have eventually met my wife. However, I passed by the chance to be a scholar, a coach, a mentor, a positive role model, a good brother and a good son just because the meat heads I hung around with at that point in my life thought it was un-cool. Well those meat heads are currently in prison, or have been in prison, or (in 2 cases) are dead. So apparently trying to be tough was a waste of time and effort. Fortunately I avoided the outcome of the meat heads and I finally have a loving family, a good career, a health hobby (martial arts) and a few good friends I can count on. But to have achieved this without the heart ache and chaos that I caused along the way would have been nice. That what I would like to achieve if I could be 16 again.
During the first time through I spent too much time trying to prove how tough I really wasn't. In the end I just ended up proving to the world, and myself, that I was nothing more than a punk. Regrets? I have many. Bad decisions? I have made more than my share. And I have spent the last 15 years, since I finally grew up, trying to make up for it. To avoid hurting who I hurt (physically and emotionally) and to help those who should have helped in the first place, instead of ignoring them, would justify the changes that would happen as a result of going back. For things would change. Lets be honest with ourselves. Who we are, what we are and where we are is a direct result of where we were when we were there and the decisions we while we were there. If I were not at a specific party, at a specific time on a specific day I would not have met the guy would become a friend of mine. That guy would not have introduced me to the women would the not become my long term girlfriend with whom I would not live with for 4 years. That girlfriend would have a friend who I would not have eventually dated and married some time after that girlfriend and I broke up. If I had changed my focus and made better choices I would not have been at that party. As a result I would not have eventually met my wife. However, I passed by the chance to be a scholar, a coach, a mentor, a positive role model, a good brother and a good son just because the meat heads I hung around with at that point in my life thought it was un-cool. Well those meat heads are currently in prison, or have been in prison, or (in 2 cases) are dead. So apparently trying to be tough was a waste of time and effort. Fortunately I avoided the outcome of the meat heads and I finally have a loving family, a good career, a health hobby (martial arts) and a few good friends I can count on. But to have achieved this without the heart ache and chaos that I caused along the way would have been nice. That what I would like to achieve if I could be 16 again.