Despite a degree of paleness that makes summer an endless loop of slathering on goop to ward off the burning death orb's cancer rays, the invasion of tourists, and the bugs, I am pro-summer. Lack of sunlight bums me out something fierce.

Summer in New York, however? Fuck. that. noise.
The only difference between neighborhoods is the price of the alcohol that gets turned into vomit and urine; and the dog food into piles of poo on the sidewalk. I'll take DC's stinky gingko trees over NY sidewalks any day. 

...make something nice, because my very first Flash animation is evil:
(Warning: links are very annoying. Adorable with the sound off, a weapon with the sound on.)
http://www.theschnitzelbank.net/vuvuzela
The second one is worse (vuvuzelas are awful, you say? I will show you *awful*) because the idea came from Mr. Schnitzelbank:
http://www.theschnitzelbank.net/makeitstop

The chance of shenanigans driven by newly pokey bits in your insides, though it may be small, should prompt a visit to the doctor. Better safe than sorry, as others have said. 

We have decided to get our bone on to every mixtape that was and/or will be sent to us.

Lprkn's came first (so to speak), it was a bit of a challenge due to the genre not exactly lending itself to getting mad-rutty.

I don't know what your problem was, but I got mine. Success!

Have you thought about Teach for America or the Peace Corps?
http://www.peacecorps.gov/index.cfm?shell=resources.grads
Some NGOs need people with financial backgrounds.
If you do go in:
Air Force, Air Force, Air Force.
The doctors are better, the housing is better, the jobs are often better - ask a veteran and the list gets longer.
http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/airforcejoin/a/afbmt1.htm
Don't trust recruiters. It's worth repeating what others have said: Get everything in writing. In case something goes horribly wrong medically, become familiar with the UCMJ concerning discharges and have the numbers of your elected representatives handy.
On the bright side the Post 9/11 GI Bill does not suck.

...Australian...The Wiggles...

This made me think of Dylan Moran's take on Australia and the Wiggles:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EZY17y1MVl4

haitian ambassador hands pat roberts his ass here

This is now my second-favorite response after the Ambassador's:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2010/01/the_devil_writes_pat_robertson.html?sc=fb&cc=fp

Mongooses. Stare at it for a while.