Surely a fair few bonus Champagne Comedy points must be awarded for the material contained within the official-lookin' Drabble website, which I am counting as part of today's Achewood because I never would have seen it otherwise, and because I'm nice. Benevolent, you might say. In any case, the comic's nothing remarkable, but it's the About Drabble page where it all really starts to shine. "The zany mishaps of his offbeat characters" is a phrase we just don't hear enough of; I'd take it over "a smart, sexy comedy" any day.

Also of note is the Cursors page, which, after inviting you to download and install Comet Cursor software (and, I'd imagine, join the internet's aristocracy by doing so), offers this stern warning:

When you select a Drabble cursor, you're agreeing that you're being granted a non-exclusive, non-transferable license to use the Drabble character only in connection with the operation of the cursor in your own personal computer, and that you won't copy or make any other uses of the character without our prior written consent.

So violently knocking your penis to the side with enough force to send the Ralph Drabble Comet Cursor through the edge of your monitor and into our world, and then, oh, I don't know, taking it outside and parading it through the streets would be frowned upon.

CLEARLY THERE ISN'T ENOUGH ART IN OUR SCHOOLS

I had a look at the Rules and Regulations, and none of them seemed to have an opinion one way or the other on posting a link to an on-topic mp3 hosted on my own webspace; the Core Rules of Netiquette were similarly ambiguous, but I got the impression that it was acceptable, provided that I did not "scroll" the screen, or "spam" and "flame" my fellow "cybernauts" like a common "scoundrel". With that in mind: Bill Bailey's "Unisex Chip Shop".

If it turns out I am flagrantly disobeying a rule that I misread, or even one that just falls under the heading of plain old common sense, I'd be more than happy to get rid of the whole unnecessary outburst above, link included, and leave only this contribution to the real topic:

And I try
Oh my God, do I try
I try all the time
In this institution

And I pray
Oh my God, do I pray
I pray every single day*
For a revolution

And I say hey, yeah, yeah, hey
Hey, yeah, yeah
I said hey
What's going on?

* Well, it sure sounded like "I pray for things all day" to me. For the last decade or so. Psh.