Here in my cubicle I am contorting my own skinny arms into the postitions described. It must seem a strange semaphore.

A one-month cutoff is a little harsh. I have binges that last that long. How about two or three months?

My copy of Cruel Shoes (1977) by Steve Martin just arrived. Sample story (obviously reprinted here illegally):

Shuckin’ the Jive
The crazy bastards were going down to the pool hall to play a little pinball when their car exploded blowing everyone to smithereens. Some of Tubby’s flesh flew off by the side of the road, and in time nourished a sunflower growing there. Soon the sunflower was eaten by a hoss and the hoss was eaten by some hobos out for a wild time. Then one of the hobos met an eastward wandering Canadian guru. But before anything significant happened the hobo died, attacked by a heart-dog in a scientist’s laboratory. The death was listed as a heart attack. Then slavery was abolished.

Conclusion:
Grandpa died and was resurrected after three days, but no one called him the Son of God; they just said, “Hey, that’s Gramps!”

I wondered where those twenty-or-so members went. I looked at the membership total, and I knew we had recently cracked 100. Then when I saw our total at about 85, I wondered what had happened. I thought I had confused this board with some other that has 100 members.

If you’d lost track of the recent Cash, I’d recommend Unchained or American IV to acquaint you. He was a giant. “Who is the best musician to come from Arkansas?” is a common question down here, and someone always thinks they’ve won the contest when they say “Al Green.” Then someone else trumps them with “Johnny Cash.”

I liked Ritter too. He was a good actor. Three’s Company charmed me during my childhood, and it was educational for a young boy destined for bachelorhood.

I first read this thread and was assaulted by so many memories of past stupidity that I was debilitated. I’ve pulled the ‘forgot to use the parking brake’ a couple of times myself, once with car damage and once, miraculously, without. But one thing sticks out as completely retarded (

When I was sixteen, I opened a bottle of hydrochloric acid by biting the stopper and pulling it out with my teeth. The acid got on my two bottom front teeth and ate out their interiors. So I had a couple of half-hollow lower front teeth that lasted a little while (over a year actually) but eventually broke into pieces.

Was the old Achewood forum embarassing Onstad when celebrities visited his site? Is that why he squelched it?

Prithee ‘nay.’

Those same celebrities might have found the Achewood forum anyway and are here posting!