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@achewood I shouldn't have to tell people not to hit me on the head nearly so often as I do.

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Messages - LCB

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1
Achewood / Re: February 21, 2008 - "I get VERY nice on this stuff."
« on: February 22, 2008, 12:43:29 am »
It sounds more like how someone would write a person trying to talk with a busted nose...I guess this is all part of the "cliches filtered through Phillipe's naivete" bit. I approve of course.


2
Achewood / Re: February 21, 2008 - "I get VERY nice on this stuff."
« on: February 21, 2008, 09:24:36 am »
Not appearing in this strip:

Nicky Baseball Bats
Tommy Sets Fires
Teddy Drives Cars

3
Achewood / Re: Feb. 18, 2008 - Understanding Maniacs, by H. Norton Shales
« on: February 18, 2008, 12:15:02 pm »
Well, isn't Onstad just being all Mr. Sassy with this strip?

4
I just love how Beef is just rambling anxiously about dessert restaraunts and you see how very anxious he is. Great depiction on Onstad's part.

5
Arts & Entertainment / Hard Case Crime: Modern crime pulp novels
« on: February 15, 2008, 06:44:12 am »
This publishing venture has been going on for awhile now, and having recieved a couple of the novels in the mail from Amazon today inspired this post.

http://www.hardcasecrime.com/

The covers are evocative of the lurid art on crime fiction paperback originals (PBOs) from the 50's and 60's and this is very intentional, yes. They've printed new books by current authors and reprinted books by some of the greats of crime fiction, some of which had been out of print for decades. Like Ed McBain, Lawrence Block, Earl Stanley Gardner, Donald Westlake (and a book by Westlake's psuedonym Richard Stark) Donald Hamilton, David Dodge, Cornell Woolrich, etc. There's been more recent works too like HCC co-founder Charles Aradai's well regarded Little Girl Lost and a couple of favorites of mine like the collaborative novels of Ken Breun and Jason Starr, BUST and sequel SLIDE, gotta love the backcover blurbs on some of these --

Quote
5 IMPORTANT LESSONS YOU CAN LEARN BY READING BUST:

1. When you hire someone to kill your wife, don’t hire a psychopath.

2. Drano is not the best tool for getting rid of a dead body.

3. Those locks on hotel room doors? Not very secure.

4. A curly blond wig isn’t much of a disguise.

5. Secrets can kill.


The books I recieved recently were real doozies, two by Max Allan Collins, another by the first female author to be published by HCC and an original 1952 novel by the late Richard S. Prather, creator of the wildly popular hard-boiled but tongue in cheek PI Shell Scott.

First, the Collins books TWO FOR THE MONEY and DEADLY BELOVED.

Two for the Money collects the first couple of novels about Collins' professional thief character Nolan. Indeed, his first two professionally published novels ever. Much of the Nolan series (which were packaged as men's adventure novels so popular during the 70's and early 80's) is hard to find at a reasonable price, especially the middle ones and the first two, so this was a service from HCC.

Nolan originally started out as a sort of pastiche of crook characters like Westlake/Stark's Parker but has a more humanized aspect to him. He's a pro, but he's not entirely stone cold. Plus he can handle himself in the ways of violence but prefers not to.

We start off with Bait Money, where Nolan, 48 and wanting to retire from the heist business, maybe run a nightclub like he used to years ago get the chance to make a truce with the Chicago "Family", to pull off a final heist to make good with them. He's teamed up with the heist planner's nephew Jon, for that young blood/old blood flavor and they go to work. Then it's time for Blood Money, which deals with the aftermath of that last heist. Plus, there's the relationship between Nolan and Jon, which becomes a mentor/protege deal. No mushy stuff, but they do form a bond of sorts. Another interesting wrinkle is that Jon is a comics buff and sometimes rock musician. It's a shame the middle part of the series is mostly out of print.

DEADLY BELOVED is the return of Collins' hardboiled comic-book PI Ms. Tree in novel form, having appeared in a couple of short stories in the 90s. http://www.thrillingdetective.com/tree.html Greater detail on the comic's history here.

This is a sort of Casino Royale-style reboot, updated to the present day since the original comic came out in the 80s. The inspiration was basically "what if Mike Hammer and his tough assisstant Velda got married, then Velda was widowed and took over the business?"
The very professional and very hardboiled Ms. Michael Tree, now head of Michael Tree Investigations is hired by a defense attorney to prove his client innocent. Or rather, not guilty by reason of insanity. A woman with a history of mental problems has gunned down her big-shot account husband and an HIV-positive prostitute in a no-tell motel room. Yet it all seems a little too pat, and details come up that suggest the whole thing was a set-up. The theory of one of Ms. Tree's pals on the Chicago PD is that a sinister "Event Planner" has been arranging hits on Mob targets via patsies and pawns so that there are no strong ties to organized crime. And of course, her husband's murder on their honeymoon night a year previous may have been one of these...PS great cover art on this one by Ms. Tree artist Terry Beatty.

Rising crime-fiction author Christa Faust's MONEY SHOT is a pretty grim and gritty tale set in LA with a rough, tough but likeable anti-heroine. Former porn actress Angel Dare is pushing 40 and the head of an adult modeling agency. She however finds the offer of a quick $2,500 from one of her old directors to do a porno shoot with a hot new stud in the field enticing and a bit of an ego boost. Things did not go well, as the first line shows:

Quote
"I'm sure you're wondering what a nice girl like me was doing left for dead in the trunk of a piece of shit Honda Civic out in the industrial wasteland of downtown Los Angeles. Or maybe we've met before and you're wondering why it hadn't happened sooner."


Richard Prather wrote many breezy, best-selling novels with a humorous touch about PI Shell Scott (see here for more info: http://www.thrillingdetective.com/scott.html) but had written other novels as well. He wrote 1952's THE PEDDLER, under a psuedonym. Reprinted by HCC, with appropriately lurid cover art by Robert McGinnis who had done many of the Scott book covers during the 50's and 60's, it's a dark little story about the rise of one Tony Romano, peddler of flesh. An ambitious, ruthless pimp who steps on anyone to climb to the top of a San Francisco prostitution ring, he's a fount of snappy patter, Prather style:

Quote
"Don't give me this crap about I don't deserve nothin' because I only been working a year or so...You might as well try to tell me the guy that's been in the Army longest oughta be Chief of Staff, or the guy's been in politics longest oughta be President, or the guy's been goin' to church longest oughta be Pope. Jesus Christ, I seen guys could make doughnuts all their life and never learn where the holes go."

6
Achewood / Re: Feb. 12, 2008 - A Mother Just Knows
« on: February 14, 2008, 12:31:12 am »
A fear of Grace Jones is only natural and understandable. Especially that she will whisk your son away.

7
The persons behind Cringevideo have all sorts of clips from what appear to be mostly public access cable shows...awkward kid's shows, terrible musical preformances, bizarre religous programing, etc.

Such as this clip from 'The Charly Show' where the host stumbles through some seriously unfunny jokes before introducing "the technoooo"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iO4EHYyw64s

From Dallas public access, "Roye'l" preforms a little musical number

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exH6KTNYS-Q

From some really, really low-rent kids' show, a puppet sings about the letter M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPrxvBUJBlk

Dr. Laserbreath's Science Experiment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJMOQ7MxG8g

The Charly Show, again

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jzQIC0LksFc

A clip from Media Monster, a series that apparently tried to get kids fired up about books

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CREoZbIPZug

From Dallas public access, a man rants about all of the celebrities who had ripped off all of his ideas.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TJp-uJUneY


And much, much more. Much, much, much more.

8
Achewood / Re: Feb 8 2008 - A Man, A woman, and a carrot with lice.
« on: February 08, 2008, 03:51:53 pm »
First "Mr. Bear writing a romance novel" strip in awhile and it's not good, it's great!

Though the romance novel world's been a lot more specialized for awhile. I don't know about May-Decemeber relationship/organic food themed books, but all sorts of themes are out there. Though the men/women of action themed books seem popular.

9
Arts & Entertainment / Re: MST3K...Redux?
« on: January 20, 2008, 01:43:10 am »
From what I've seen it's interesting. Though from what I hear, what you get is a DVD in an envelope and there's been a few complaints on that score, but I've also heard what you get is a pressed DVD and not a DVD-R.

As for all the other efforts, Rifftrax seems to be doing well. The Film Crew, the venture featuring Nelson, Murphy and Corbett has had four DVD releases from Shout! Factory but again, according to Mr. Corbett those were shot in 2005 and there were complications before Shout! Factory released them, so any further TFC releases don't seem likely. Even the sets were dissassembled a while back. Which is a shame because that was hilarious work they were doing.

CT, however, appears to offer more oppurtunities for the riffers interacting with the screen.

10
Lasagna Cat

The latest sensastion sweeping the internet, yeah but I was hypnotized by these, which obviously had some effort put into them. This was apparently a project months in the making by the folks involved with the Fatal Farm series of "alternative" TV show intros and the tutorial spoofs at Mark Erickson's Infinite Solutions.

I have to give kudos to these people for managing to dress up a guy so he looks a lot like Jon Arbuckle, and their use of green screen.

Among the vids available:

Garfield believes a whistle he found is broken, but it is actually a dog whistle.

Jon forces Garfield to do a humiliating dance. "Dance for me, Garfield."

Garfield hits Jon. "You're mean!"

Garfield watches Jon make toast. "Yee haw!"

Jon realizes he's using Garfield's cat brush to brush his own hair.
"Oh no! I'm using the CAT BRUSH!"

Garfield makes light of Jon's social awkwardness. "The entire female population."

11
Achewood / Re: December 19, 2007. Thank god for small favors.
« on: December 19, 2007, 05:47:25 pm »
I do happen to know someone who willingly had the Star Wars logo tattooed on their back.
Very willingly. But then he does collect replica swords and owns a Boba Fett bust, or helmet, or whatever in a display case.
 

12
On the positive side, a lot of gimmicky joints like that tend to fold after the novelty wears off. Others, unfortunately show the tenacity of a cockroach.

13
"Well, Granny never put any distinctions on any of God's creatures. She always used to say...meat's meat and a man's gotta eat!" 

14
Achewood / Re: Some moussaka would really hit the spot. - 17 January 2007
« on: January 18, 2007, 02:29:53 am »
I for one am glad to learn what was making the SPLUT SPLUT SPLUT after Pete had fallen to the floor, and that it wasn't that the Stabbing Machine blade had been driven deeper into his brain.


15
Achewood / Re: dude! -- January 12, 2007
« on: January 12, 2007, 08:03:40 am »
A little dissappointed we didn't get a moment or a "reaction shot" if you will, where Teodor and Ray realize Nice Pete overheard them, but otherwise I'm satisfied with this strip.

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