Fair story: We made a little caravan to load livestock into the fair. I loaded up the sheep and goats in a truck bed pen and Bubba (yes, really!) pulled a 24' stock trailer for the steers and pigs. We got the goats and sheep loaded easy, you just walk them up and shove them in. The steer you halter up and walk in easy like. Pigs...fuck pigs.

We put a ramp up to walk them into the trailer and then we use hog boards to direct and box them in. Well, we got the last one up the ramp and when it went to turn the corner into the trailer it didn't like the truck load af angry swine and tried to back out. After chivvying six of the bastard beasts into the trailer I wasn't about to let this one start the process over so I shot my left arm out and straight armed that porker and grabbed it by the left ham and shoved it the rest of the way in.

The pig gladly went along with this plan because, in grabbing him by the ham and shoving, my left thumb went all the way to the base in his asshole. He even made a surprised little "GRUNT" as he hopped in.

About eight of the parents and kids there saw this and everyone generally lost their shit for about 30 seconds.

I went in and washed my hands, but people wiggled their damn thumbs at me and made 'oink oink' sounds all fair week.

I guess it was funny. Also, it didn't feel bad from my side of the deal.

Sorry for all the job stuff lately. But jesus christ these people.