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@achewood My bicycle is parked in the living room. A tub of tartar sauce sits open on the counter. Truly, the evidence of a wife being away too long.

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Topics - pmcd9

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Arts & Entertainment / Wub a Lub a Dub Dub
« on: November 03, 2018, 04:16:39 am »
I figured if we had a Bojack hossman thread we should have a Rick and Morty thread.

I'm Pickle Rick, Bitch!

Arts & Entertainment / Make Me Choose Between Two Bands
« on: June 20, 2018, 05:14:36 am »
Fun new game. Name two bands, similar in fame or musical style and you have to choose between them and give your reasoning.

I'll go first, Wilco or Son Volt?

History / Women's March On Washington
« on: January 22, 2017, 11:43:47 pm »
Which was actually a nationwide worldwide outpouring. This gave me great hope because it shows me the country is ready to stand up and fight back against the fascists. Also, judging by the dismissive reactions I've seen from the right they are seriously misjudging the actual mood of the country and it's gonna cost them. Stay strong and keep fighting!

History / Donald and Melania
« on: January 22, 2017, 02:16:50 am »
My theory about Donald Trump is that he sexually assaults women because he's such a repulsive creep that only hookers will fuck him. I'm not saying that Melania is a hooker, but I am saying she's a woman who married a repulsive creep because he has millions of dollars. Here's the thing about Melania... [comment redacted].

History / President Trump
« on: January 22, 2017, 01:41:01 am »
I'm having a difficult time with the current reality.

Wild Card / Reading the Bible (again)
« on: January 10, 2017, 02:22:04 am »

Awhile back I may have mentioned to my mother that I was thinking about reading the Bible again. Last week her and my sister downloaded a Bible app. They are using the app to read the Bible in a year. They mentioned it to me and I was like, why not. I was actually planning on reading something by H.P. Lovecraft because it's an important influence on the creators of Rick and Morty. But hey, the Bible is crazier than anything so let's do this.

I went into this with an open mind. Last time I went in skeptical and quickly dismissed it for being utterly preposterous. So I began reading, carefully, hoping to glean some bit of wisdom I missed the first time through. It didn't take long before the road got rocky. Before, when I get to the part where Cain and Abel take wives I think where did these bitches come from, which is a natural question to ask. Rather than dismiss it, I examine the question and come up with several possible scenarios. The most obvious scenario, is that Eve, the only woman alive, gave birth to them and they are actually Cain and Abel's sisters. Then I considered the possibility that God made these women in the same way that Eve was made, from the ribs of Cain and Abel*. I also considered that God made a whole other bunch of people, but this must have been after Adam and Eve were kicked out of the garden. I discounted this idea because these would be new original perfect creations from God and wouldn't share the original sin of Adam and Eve. That, I had believed was on them and their offspring for ever. How could that apply to some completely new person outside of their bloodline?

I was so proud of myself. I envisioned calling my mother to discuss these issues. Not as a skeptic pointing out the inconsistencies, but as a student of the word desiring to deepen my knowledge. These thoughts followed me to sleep last night. It was glorious.

I awoke suddenly at 5:30 with these thoughts fully formed in my head. Cain and Abel's wives were their sisters. It was God's revenge for Adam and Eve eating from the tree of knowledge. Adam was smart, a scientist even, naming all of the animals and the plants. And Eve was clever, she opened the book of knowledge of Good and Evil. But then, thanks to asshole God, to propagate the species, their kids had to fuck each other. In one generation the family of man went from genius level to imbecile. And that's why 6,000 years later most of the planet is still taking this fuck*ng book seriously. I-yi-yi, what thoughts I was having.

After I had fully awoken I thought, no, that can't be right. when God screws us all over he likes to brag about it. No way he's going to leave this little devious gem between the lines.

So anyway, bottom line, I'm kinda afraid to call my mother right now for fear of what I might say if she asks me about the reading.

*While writing this out I realized this doesn't actually solve the problem of inbreeding as Adam's rib would be the same DNA as Adam. So the rest of my theory doesn't make any sense.

Sports & Leisure / Football Playoffs Predictions
« on: January 02, 2017, 11:40:19 pm »
Let's see who is the best pro football prognosticator. Who wants to play?  I'll go first

Wild Card Round is probably the easiest round to predict, but there are sometimes surprises.

Pittsburgh Vs. Miami
I predict Pittsburgh will win.

Oakland Vs. Houston
Had Derrick Carr not been hurt this would be a no brainer, but he's out and so is his backup. Houston has the top defense in the league. They will shut down Oakland.

Seattle Vs. Detroit
Seattle will win easily at home

Green Bay Vs. New York
This is a tough one, but the way Green Bay has played the last 6 weeks I'm not sure anyone can beat them.

Achewood / 2016-06-17 Wiss-Wiss
« on: June 17, 2016, 07:00:55 am »
Sondra is not fuck*ng around.

Is that pronounced wee-wee you think?

Achewood / Trump and Oreos
« on: May 05, 2016, 03:47:56 am »
I don't know if this makes Trump look more or less like Ray.

Arts & Entertainment / Boston and Dennis DeYoung (of Styx)
« on: March 29, 2016, 10:33:45 pm »
Boston is one guy, Tom Schultz, from the original band playing with a bunch of sidemen. Dennis DeYoung on his own is as legitimately Styx as Tom Schultz is Boston. So why does one get to carry on with the name and the other doesn't? Good lawyers I guess.

Achewood / 2016-03-18 The Good Old Days
« on: March 18, 2016, 09:22:54 am »

Has Cornelius always been this pessimistic?

Arts & Entertainment / Northern Light
« on: March 01, 2016, 04:51:52 am »
I've got to get something off my chest and this is the only place I can do it.

My sister wrote a book, got signed by a publisher and now it's been published. Here it is on Amazon. To put it plainly, it's awful. I mean, I'm trying to take into account that it's a romance novel, which I would never choose to read even if Cornelius Bear wrote it. And I'm also trying to take into account that it's Christian. Even overlooking these huge obstacles, it's just objectively bad. The story is poorly conveyed, the characters and situations make no sense. I mean, one of the central conflicts in the book centers around a sister who is losing  her mind to insanity. They keep talking about her, but not really giving any clear examples of how she's going mad other than she's hanging out with an old man and his war damaged son and it's somehow inappropriate. The dialog is stilted and I can't really tell one character from another except by their poorly researched accents.

Of course I have to keep this all to myself because the entire family is over the moon and they all think it's fantastic. I'm sure I'm the only one who has secret reservations. I would love to tell her honestly how I feel, but that would not be worth the damage it would cause. But I need to talk about this with someone so I turn to you my brain trust. I know this is a lot to ask, but if you click on the link and then the Look Inside link, I think the whole damn book is there. Will someone read it, or at least read enough to tell me that it's really as bad as I think it is and I'm not just being an asshole? Or maybe I am being an asshole. You can tell me that too.

Here's my sister reading a short excerpt from the book.

Wild Card / Hella Yellin' About TRUMP
« on: March 01, 2016, 04:06:18 am »
First I have a legitimate question. If someone is otherwise intelligent and you learn they support Donald Trump, are they actually intelligent at all?

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