Holy. SHIT.
I'm sitting in an apartment. In Montreal, Quebec, CANADA. Sittting next to me- Andalucia. I'm not sure how many people remember us- from the primordial soup of TOUAMB (or, in my case, the trilobite of TOUAMB) but we just wanted to say hi. We blamed our continued friendship on you all, and now have a really hard time at parties when people ask how we met. We're both doing well, and live a block away from eachother, and wanted to say hello!

Hi!
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v51/Bozack/Photo212.jpg

Gather around, chilluns, and let me tell you a story. A story...about pu$$ys.
Seems ol' Bozack "Polecat" Swensonsonson got hisself some ideas and went off to high-falutin' art school up in New Yahk Siddy. He didn' care for it all too much, but he met some mighty nice folk. One of them was a lady who we gonna call Sarah.
Now, Sarah had herself a problem- a septate hymen. See, when Sarah was developin' in her momma's womb, the layer of tissue covering her pu$$yl openin' didn't thin out like they usually do- it left a thin band o' tissue stretchin across her pinkest of secrets. If Sarah were ever gonna lie with a man in carnal congress, she was gonna need to get herself one a them "hymenectomies," when a gynecologist would surgically remove her hymen. It's a routine surgery, ain't too much trouble a'tall.
But Sarah's momma was onea them Roman Catholics, and she was pleased as punch that her daughter had a built-in device to protect her maidenhead. She told Sarah that she'd get her hymenectomy when she got a husband to pay for it. Sarah, bein' a modern college lady in the big city, wasn't happy about this at all. To make matters worse, since the hymenectomy would cost under $2,000, Sarah's insurance provider wouldn't cover it.
There's a reason they call ol' Bozack "Polecat"- he's crafty like one, and don't smell too nice either. He started thinkin' and thinkin', and before long, he happened upon an idea. The Internet.
The Internet helped that one idiot girl get rid of her credit card debit, and helped thousands of people get laid. Why didn't they see what it could do for Sarah?
Thus, the seed of pu$$yid was born. Bozack & Sarah are still workin' on the particulars, but he's ready and willin' to donate time and money to see Sarah get that hymenectomy.
And that's the news from New York City. Where the men are ugly, the women are mean and the children eat human flesh.

WARNING- IF YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR ME, AND WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IT, PLEASE STOP READING NOW. THIS WILL ONLY HURT YOU.


New question-
As you might be aware, humans evolved from apes. We lost our tails, our kickass grabby toes, and most of us lost our thick, luxuriant pelts.
Most of us.
Some of us are a bit less evolved than others. Some of us have managed to grow unsightly back-hair. And not just the bottom of the back-hair; I'm talking the wings. I believe, that with surgical strikes, I can isolate and prevent these still-light patches from become a Carl-level event.
So, I put it to you, TOUAMB- how does one go about getting their back waxed?

Just to start things off; I believe that our first blog of December is Lil' Neff talking about...erggghhhh.
I went to Suicide Girls to see if they actually did have a new dudes section (hey, it's winter-time and my gas bill is going up); as far as I can see, they don't, but I couldn't look at the website for more than a minute at a time without being felled by the twin hammers of Pretention and Over-Crowded Homepage. It was like having my eyes bludgeoned out by the Strokes. Not by the hand of one of the Strokes, but actually as if someone picked up the Strokes and jammed them into my eye sockets.

Keep your mouth shut and don't catch flies.

Seriously, though- I often have problems or questions that I'd like answered, and my google-fu just isn't up to the task. And I don't want to open a whole thread for them, so I was thinking, maybe we can post any specific questions in here, regarding anything small- cooking, badmiton, lovin', anything. Does that sound good?

Okay, I just got an old manual typewriter- an Olivetti Lettera 22. I've been poking around on it for a while, trying to figure it out, and I think I've got everything covered except....how dark should the type come out? Why isn't my type coming out consistantly? Is my ribbon not moving enough?

That's my question. And now you post yours!

EDUCATION.

....Meh. I mean, I get it. Ray does funny stuff when tanked. But I know "BLOO BLOO BLOO!", and you, sir, are no "BLOO BLOO BLOO!"

Like a total nerd, I went to see Batman Begins at the midnight showing, and was extremely impressed. In my mind, probably the best, and definitely the most serious, entry into the Batman series.
But when I wake up, later on today, I'm going to go straight to the comic book store. What do regular people think? Has anyone else seen it yet?

I'm high as hell, so it may temper it a bit when I say that this is the funniest fuck*ng thing in the history of the god-damned world.

FREE THE ANDALUCIA FIVE!