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@achewood Wife upset because I kept her up all night playing World of Snorecraft.

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Messages - pmcd9

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Sports & Leisure / My evening with Chris Onstad
« on: August 18, 2003, 06:04:36 am »
If I had Chris Onstad as a guest in my house, the fare would be basic, because that's all I really know, but sometimes basic is best.  Rather than try to impress him with my extensive knowledge of cookery I would serve a simple meal which focuses on  freshness.

First I'd serve him a salad of romaine lettuce and homegrown beefsteak tomatos (if in season) and my special blue cheese dressing.  The main course would be thick cut charcoal grilled sirloin cooked medium rare and served with extra crispy homestyle (jacket on) french fries and grilled zuchini.  I'd ask my mother to bake some of her oh so tasty buscuits, and for the beverage I would serve iced tea.  For desert I would serve Houston's best carrot cake from Barnaby's and ice cold milk, followed by coffee.

After dinner Chris and I would retire to the listening room where we would sample some eclectic music while the widescreen showed some visually splendid movie on mute.  We may enhance the listening and relaxing experience with some fine herbal stimulant and whatever alcoholic beverage he's brought along.  We would discuss whatever was at hand as we are both talented conversationalist.  At some point, the new girlfriend I plan on having by then and Mrs. Onstad, who have been socializing in the kitchen, will rejoin us and perform a striptease together replete with playful touching of the breast and buttocks and culminating in a long slow kiss on the mouth.

The evening will draw to a close shortly thereafter with all parties feeling relaxed and satisfied.

20 years later we'll still be exchanging Christmas Cards.


Achewood / Places you have worn Achewood merchandise
« on: August 17, 2003, 06:59:51 pm »
Is that your daughter?

Of all possible "Who might that Lady be?" scenario's, that is the sickest one of all.

The only way that photo makes sense to me is if the dude in the photo paid the girl to have her snap shot.

I think you have underestimated my charisma.  You've also underestimated the charisma of the shirt.

And of course someone else must be there *taking* the photo.

There was noone else there.  Modern photographic equipment makes it possible to do this sort of thing without assistance.

A guy with <that> mustache next to a girl in that state of dress really conjures up Ron Jeremy for me.

Ron Jeremy has a handlebar?  Just another reason to love the man.


Achewood / 8/15
« on: August 17, 2003, 06:11:34 am »
I confess. I edited Jough's post. It got me banned for 24 hours, too.

Is noone safe from the tyranny of this man?


Achewood / Places you have worn Achewood merchandise
« on: August 17, 2003, 06:05:26 am »
Is that your daughter?

It's your Sister.

Oh aren't we both so clever.


People & Places / Vote Ferocious J off the Island!
« on: August 15, 2003, 04:47:53 pm »
If everyone is free to say what they want (fine by me), then they are free to be pointless, whining children

These post complaining about the nature of this board are by far the most pointless, whiny, and childish.

By far!!!


Achewood / Aug. 11 - Beef the Metrosexual
« on: August 15, 2003, 06:41:26 am »
Well, in two weeks time. Mrs. West and I will have been married 15 years. Needless to say, my previous post was entirely based on historical data.

Congratulations Mr. West, that's quite an accomplishment.  What is 15 years BTW, isn't that Balsa Wood or Oragami?

Sorry, i'm jealous and bitter because I just Lost my Girlfriend of 6 years.


Achewood / Classic (8/13)
« on: August 15, 2003, 06:33:43 am »
<gives you a stern look>

Oh, so sorry.  I'm so embarrased.  Hey, that was almost three weeks ago, I have alzheimers you know.


Arts & Entertainment / Bleat 8/14/03
« on: August 15, 2003, 06:22:09 am »
Whether you agree with Lileks or not, you gotta admit he's a great writer.  I love it he gets self deprecating.

"Did I forget anything this week? Personal tales of no great import, laden with sodden nostalgia: check. Shallow takes on pop culture: check, and check. Grim axe-grinding polemic I should have paid people to wade through? Oh, indeed, check. Matchbook?

No! Until now. Check. See you Monday. "


People & Places / Is it Ironic?
« on: August 15, 2003, 06:03:07 am »
First, Ferocious J may be a little vociferous in his posting, but that isn't any cause to kick him out really.  I'm sure i'll have my turn at being the board dick. (what?, I already am?)  Anyway, I just wanted to point out that I think It's pretty funny that he's clamouring for people to keep their opinions to themselves while he, himself is the runaway leader in being outspoken.

The only thing I can take issue with is this idea that only a peer is qualified to criticize.  That is so weak.  I don't write a cartoon, but I know what funny is and I know what entertainments.  To suggest that RStevens is the only person on this board qualified to offer critique and criticism is a really ignorant thought.


Achewood / Makin' Spicy Ribs this Weekend
« on: August 15, 2003, 05:42:28 am »
After that dreadful Whipping Zoo (Shudder) story, I would have been happy if this weeks VH didn't make me want to gouge out my eyes.  So I was more than a little relieved and quite plesantly surprised to see those two great recipes.  If I weren't a recovering alchoholic (16 years sober, halejujah) I would so make that wonderful concoction.  The ribs on the other hand, damn that sounds like a tasty recipe.  I'll be cooking that shit up this weekend, guaranteed.  I'll let you know next week how it turns out.

As for whether we should keep it strictly about Achewood or allow some personal discussion here, well my confession above clearly indicates which side of this debate I fall on.

And as for whether it's proper to offer negative criticism of Achewood, well the answer to that is obvious.  We're not a bunch of mindless sychophants here (well a few are) and if something stinks we are more than obliged to speak our mind about it.

Go on, eat some ribs this weekend.


Achewood / Five Favorite Strips - The Results are IN!
« on: August 15, 2003, 05:00:58 am »
I'm about ready to add up the votes and declare a favorite strip for this message board.  I would have done it already, but i've been busy.  I'll probably do it this Sunday afternoon so if there are any last minute votes get them in by then.


Achewood / Here Comes a Special Boy
« on: August 15, 2003, 04:55:33 am »
Mama loves her Special Boy


Achewood / Classic (8/13)
« on: August 13, 2003, 10:57:27 pm »
Show, what show?  Are they preparing Beef for a show?

Ray looks pretty buff, has he been working out?


Achewood / Comic, August 6
« on: August 12, 2003, 07:44:56 am »
Wow, it's a lovefest.

BTW, where the hell if our Den Mother?


Arts & Entertainment / Zappa?
« on: August 12, 2003, 07:41:00 am »
I didn't mean to kill this discussion.

What's the Ugliest part of your body?


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