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[Nabubrush]

wow, there's no way i'll ever afford that, who here's bought some? if so, which?

No one.

We're poor.

Fuck you.

[Skillator]

I found some full names:

Cassandra "Roast Beef" Kazenzakis

"Showbiz" Kazenzakis

Ray Smuckles

Cornelius Bear

And isn't Pat's last name Reynolds?

Charley (lil' Nephew) Smuckles
Téodor Orezscu
Molly Sanders
Peter (Nice Pete) H. Cropes
Lyle is without a last name as far as I can tell
Same for Philippe though it may be in the cookbook. I do remember him reminiscing of his past there.

Why does Ray wear a thong?
Because he's a fuck*ng comic strip character

Where is lyle?
Trapped in an all girl religious school.

Where's Mr Bear?
He got shot and is now writing closed captions for the Spice channel.

What's the Spice channel?
Google it.

How old is Philippe?
5.

Why does it revolve mostly around Ray and Roastbeef?
because they're the characters Onstad finds he can relate most to I assume.

Why does Téodor raise Philippe?
because he's five. Have you seen the shit 5 year-olds can get into?

So Roastbeef and Molly are Zombies?
yeah I guess you could call them that. Except they don't eat brains as far as I can tell and aren't decaying. But yes they are the living dead.

What's Pat's problem?
He is the character that stirs the pot for everyone else. They are good because he is evil. We can only all wish he was dead.

So the bear writes captions for porn and the Tiger stars in them?
not the same ones but yes.

So why do the stuffed animals hang out with the cats?
again, because it's a fuck*ng comic strip.

[St_Zartan]

How old is Philippe?
7 I think... shit I lose.

No.

He is Five.

Dogpile in five... four...

[AugustWest]

How old is Philippe?
7 I think... shit I lose.

No.

He is Five.

Dogpile in five... four...

Dogpile on the Rabbit!  Dogpile on the Rabbit!

I love that one.

[Skillator]

He was five at the beginning of the comic strip, perhaps he's gotten older as the years have passed?

But I will admit I was wrong. He talks and types blogs much better than most five year-olds

[Nabubrush]

I thought that the whole 7 thing was a joke. It's frickin' canonical! How could you miss that?

[V-Adore]

The Achewater shirt/etc. design seems to state that Lyle's last name is "Gabriel," and I think this is reasonably canonical.

[Nabubrush]

The Achewater shirt/etc. design seems to state that Lyle's last name is "Gabriel," and I think this is reasonably canonical.

That scratched an itch in my head - and the closet proved it. Nice call.

[MattFish]

So the bear writes captions for porn and the Tiger stars in them?
not the same ones but yes.

I was under the impression that Lyle simply produced the porn films and hired people to perform in them.

[CortJstr]

So the bear writes captions for porn and the Tiger stars in them?
not the same ones but yes.

I was under the impression that Lyle simply produced the porn films and hired people to perform in them.

He's been in at least one.

[southworth813]

I would like to know what Chris' dachshund's name is.

[St_Zartan]

I would like to know what Chris' dachshund's name is.

According to Wombat, who has stalked at least one dog on the Internet, it's "Tanglewoods Bodicea".

I do not know why, of the literally thousands of posts I've read on this forum, priceless, irreplaceable brainspace was allotted to that one.

EDIT: also there are now banner ads for dude ranches, what the hell, i suspect this will be a "frequently asked question" over the days to come

[andalucia]

EDIT: also there are now banner ads for dude ranches, what the hell, i suspect this will be a "frequently asked question" over the days to come

Jeepers.  And me with my Firefox Adblock on.

[AugustWest]

I would like to know what Chris' dachshund's name is.

My dachshund's name is "Gus", for what that's worth.  He is a good boy.

[wombat]

I would like to know what Chris' dachshund's name is.

According to Wombat, who has stalked at least one dog on the Internet, it's "Tanglewoods Bodicea".

I do not know why, of the literally thousands of posts I've read on this forum, priceless, irreplaceable brainspace was allotted to that one.

Well, I am glad that it was, because I felt obligated to try to answer the question and yet stupidly could not figure out where I might still have the information, and didn't remember it was already posted here.

That's not what they call her at home, of course.  I thought I knew what that was too, but I can't find any evidence of it, so I might be making it up.      Anyway maybe it's not something to post for all to see, because evil in-person dog-stalkers might go around Northern California calling the name out to innocent dachshunds in people's yards as part of some nefarious dachs-napping plan.  And we can't have that.