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[linnea]

A friend of mine works as a teacher, she had a child in her classroom last year that was autistic but his parents were adamant that he not be told of his diagnosis. Kid was 12 or 13! I couldn't believe it.

[jay-ell]

Gah. 

This wouldn't be a problem if everyone in the world were as awesome as the people here.  But a lot of people are just uneducated.  Tell someone your kid is autistic, and even if they don't say it out loud (although a surprising number of people do), the first thing they think is "Rain Man."  Thanks a whole fuck*ng hell of a lot, Dustin Hoffman. 

Although this is less true, I've found, of other parents.  With the incidence of autism rising in the US, it seems like everyone we meet on the playground has a nephew, a neighbor, or a co-worker with an autistic child.  Some are high-functioning, like my son, and some never learn to speak.  But as more and more high-functioning kids are diagnosed with autism and less and less autistic children are dismissed as "hyperactive," "ADD*," and "just plain weird," people are starting to figure out that these kids aren't all alike.  And more parents are talking about it -- on the playground, in the classroom, and in the media.  I think more parents are willing to share their kids' diagnoses now than even five years ago when my nephew was diagnosed.  I've had moms come up to me on the playground and strike up a conversation by saying, "That's my son over there, playing with yours.  He's three and we found out he's autistic yesterday." 

I do agree that when he's older, he's going to get picked on for being different, whether he knows why he's different or not.  And he's going to have a harder time dealing with that than his peers.  I saw my nephew go through it in Kindergarten last year.  But I was picked on pretty mercilessly throughout grade school, and I didn't have a reason.  There was nothing I could point to and say, "this is why I do this."  I was a smart kid, but as far as I was concerned, I was nothing special.  My mom always tried to reassure me by telling me how pretty I was.  (Mom never read Betty Friedan, I guess.)  I want to make sure that Pearce knows how special he is. 

[size=8 pt]*I'm not saying all kids with ADD are actually on the autism spectrum.  But I know of a handful of people who are around my age who were diagnosed with ADD as kids and found out they had Asperger's or another ASD when they were young teens.  Misdiagnosis happens.  [/size]