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@achewood You are on the Night Train. Five Hours have passed. Axl Rose is in the gym car. It's not what you expected.

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Author Topic: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009  (Read 3150 times)

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Harlock Hero

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Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009
« on: April 23, 2009, 11:42:37 am »

http://achewood.com/index.php?date=04232009

Oregon sure isn't treating Onstad very well, is it?

This brand of paranoia is so spot-on; all assuming that people will discern dark secrets about you that they could only possibly discern if they knew all the details that you know (and they MUST, right? because what makes you so special that you'd have exclusive knowledge about anything at all; why, if you were THAT kind of person, you wouldn't be so base as to get into this situation in the FIRST place).

This was a good one to read today because I'm caught in a similar paranoid thought-loop regarding FINALS WEEK. Wish me luck.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2009, 12:35:37 pm by wombat »
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theinevitable

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?!
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2009, 11:59:59 am »

This is fitting, as I was just discussing how they will enforce the smoking ban they are implementing at my school.
We imagine systems along these lines.
Or else, you know, not enforcing it at all, the way they don't enforce the smoking policies they already have.


Also, this line of reasoning about why you shouldn't smoke is pretty thoroughly in my head, thanks to my lovely parents.
Ditto for why you should never own a gun.
Although there is also the level going on of like, I am the one standing at bedside, and my parents' simultaneous last words are "we are so disappointed in you for those several cigarettes you smoked in college. We always knew, Daniel."
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herofix

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?!
« Reply #2 on: April 23, 2009, 12:29:44 pm »

Disclaimer:  I smoke a lot of cigarettes all the time.

*Insert paranoid reactionary rant here*

I'm just not the kind of guy who goes back on the swears I made with the boys back in high school.  Regardless of how my semen might taste.  Get someone who smokes themselves to give you a blowjob.  They can't taste anything anyway.  Problem solved.
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Ruta Bagas

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?!
« Reply #3 on: April 23, 2009, 12:38:16 pm »

In my secondary school they had a smoke-detection system in the toilets called "Cig-Arręte". I was very pleased.

AugustWest

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?!
« Reply #4 on: April 23, 2009, 01:06:16 pm »

In my secondary school they had a smoke-detection system in the toilets called "Cig-Arręte". I was very pleased.

I gave you a can to pass on to your school.  Perhaps you could convince the administrators to pass it along to the person that came up with that clever name.
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lprkn

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009
« Reply #5 on: April 23, 2009, 01:19:01 pm »

This guy is the antithesis of today's comic:

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robot_god

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009
« Reply #6 on: April 23, 2009, 01:46:04 pm »

YES I love it when the cats talk about cigarettes.  Glad this trait hasn't been abandoned.

I've quit cigarettes for like about three weeks now.
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littlefallsmets

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009
« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2009, 04:45:43 pm »

Would cigarettes need to be reshaped for the mouths of slightly-humanized cats?

Am I over thinking this?
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Toaster

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009
« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2009, 05:40:01 pm »

Would cigarettes need to be reshaped for the mouths of slightly-humanized cats?

Am I over thinking this?

Maybe to account for their sharp little teeth, and maybe because their dental arch is a different shape. I dunno, though; I'm not a cigarette engineer.

Also, if semen testing was the default method of smoker identification, Phillip Morris would have more money than Ozymandias, Batman, Luthor and Oprah combined. "Whoops, looks like you caught me again!"

A question: you know how sometimes actors who don't smoke have to do so for a role, and they smoke, like, special "herbal" cigarettes or some shit? What exactly are those?

A statement: If cigarettes didn't kill you, then they would be nothing more than tiny alarm clocks that remind you that a certain amount of time has passed. And I think that would be awesome. So someone whould invent cigarettes that don't kill you, and then we can market them to lazy and/or forgetful people.
« Last Edit: April 23, 2009, 05:45:38 pm by Toaster »
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lprkn

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009
« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2009, 07:53:38 pm »

A question: you know how sometimes actors who don't smoke have to do so for a role, and they smoke, like, special "herbal" cigarettes or some shit? What exactly are those?

Undedicated actor cigarettes, for Pussies.
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CortJstr

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2009, 08:37:34 pm »

A question: you know how sometimes actors who don't smoke have to do so for a role, and they smoke, like, special "herbal" cigarettes or some shit? What exactly are those?

From what I've read they are just as bad for you as any other smokable product but they produce no pleasant effects to which you could become addicted.
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Dangermoose

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009
« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2009, 08:38:23 pm »

Would cigarettes need to be reshaped for the mouths of slightly-humanized cats?

Am I over thinking this?

You know how when a cat is smelling something really awesome, it kind of holds its mouth open in a funny way to really get it?  Would they do that with the smoke?
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Bobby Isosceles

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009
« Reply #12 on: April 23, 2009, 09:10:56 pm »

You know how when a cat is smelling something really awesome, it kind of holds its mouth open in a funny way to really get it?  Would they do that with the smoke?

Yes, but then the smoke would cause sinus problems, and Flehmen would become Phlegmin'.
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Dangermoose

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009
« Reply #13 on: April 23, 2009, 09:30:55 pm »

Wow, here and on the Lean Pocket thread my comments today have drawn awesome puns.  Cans for all awesome puns.

Not to mention for Education.
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Bimmicus

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Re: Do you want to smoke... FOREVER?! April 23 2009
« Reply #14 on: April 24, 2009, 03:33:58 am »

This was so good.

It's enough to make me hope that 'Stad's still got it and the strip won't just continue to be a pale shadow of its former self.

It's a hope that's bound to be crushed, I figure, but still this was so good.
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