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Trains are saying "hello".  All this time, we just snub them.

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Author Topic: Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies  (Read 16844 times)

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I Am Not Creative

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #15 on: August 02, 2003, 01:10:55 am »
I agreed with everything he said in the letter, but don't know how I feel about the "Variety Hour" itself. I get the feeling Onstad may be developing Achewood to be more of an online humor magazine than just a comic. Hence the theme days. He was involved in such things in the past; it could be something he really wanted to pursue.

In keeping with today's comic, I am getting a tad sick of Ray. The joke is wearing a bit thin, so the Variety Hour may prove to be a nice distraction.
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AugustWest

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #16 on: August 02, 2003, 01:55:50 am »
Now I'm convinced that Onstad was just being sincere.

I just got back from looking for a birthday card for my Dad.  He's a guy.  I'm a guy.  We're both guys.  Both of us are reasonably literate and have a modicum of taste and style (ahem).  I could not find a birthday card that wouldn't humiliate the both of us.

It's enough to make me lose what little faith in humanity I had left.  Everything is sappy, treacly, hokey, trite and just plain old BAD.  And do they offer just plain old blank cards with some lovely art on the outside so you can write your own heartfelt birthday message.  No. No. and NO!

And while I'm on the subject...

What. The. Fuck. is up with the price of greeting cards.  $2.49 for a half-sheet of bond paper with a bad painting and worse poetry.  That's just wrong.
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pmcd9

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #17 on: August 02, 2003, 05:16:09 am »
Quote
as far as how good it was, well, go back and read the first ever Achewood strip. Go on, I'll wait. Was it hilarious? Or was it a beginning, and introduction to grander things? Or was it just confusing and weird?


Confusing and weird, perhaps, but also the most surreally funny strip of the entire run.

~Paul
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jough

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #18 on: August 02, 2003, 05:21:21 am »
This may be pretty harsh of me to say, but Onstad's first Variety Hour post reminded me of the unfunny stuff at McSweeny's.
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AlohaDawg

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #19 on: August 02, 2003, 05:25:14 am »
I have <hated> shopping for greeting cards my whole life. I generally do buy blank ones and write whatever is appropriate. Maybe the general population is either too rushed or too insincere to do this - the card companies are sure to be marketing to some kind of fat, soft middle of the bell curve, right?

I think maybe Onstad took a potentially really funny topic, made a few points that could have been better fleshed out, and went to print before the piece was afforded a well-deserved edit and re-write. It had funny bits but it wasn't terribly funny. I liked it from the standpoint of observational humor... I guess.  

That said, those of you giving it a month to reserve judgment: good for you. I'm with you. I think the sentence ("punch line") "Phillippe is standing on it" says it all for the moment.
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jay-ell

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #20 on: August 02, 2003, 05:30:51 am »
I like those "Intuitions" cards.  They are usually funny without being mean, and the blank ones are especially nice for those "thanks for the discount on crack cocaine" or "I had an especially nice time feeling you up anonymously in a back alley" occasions.  

Last year I gave my husband one with a picture of a plastic dinosaur biting a little boy's nose.  It was adorable.
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V-Adore

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #21 on: August 02, 2003, 05:37:58 am »
Quote from: "jough"
This may be pretty harsh of me to say, but Onstad's first Variety Hour post reminded me of the unfunny stuff at McSweeny's.

I dunno, I actually had the same thought. Here we have this very dry, sort of faux-literary piece... and, though it is a bit of a harsh comparison to make, I thought of Beef and Molly talking about the literary establishment playing in a near-dead medium it can no longer understand or resurrect.

Let's hope it shakes off the McSweeney's vibe over time.
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Vinz Clortho

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2003, 12:23:52 pm »
Quote from: "jldunston"
Last year I gave my husband one with a picture of a plastic dinosaur biting a little boy's nose.  It was adorable.


I have used that card about six times now, for everything from birthdays to Father's Day to wedding congratulations. I've yet to use it for a funeral, but I'm patient.
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Choop

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #23 on: August 02, 2003, 02:27:20 pm »
Quote from: "V-Adore"
Quote from: "jough"
This may be pretty harsh of me to say, but Onstad's first Variety Hour post reminded me of the unfunny stuff at McSweeny's.

I dunno, I actually had the same thought. Here we have this very dry, sort of faux-literary piece... and, though it is a bit of a harsh comparison to make, I thought of Beef and Molly talking about the literary establishment playing in a near-dead medium it can no longer understand or resurrect.

Let's hope it shakes off the McSweeney's vibe over time.


I thought the EXACT SAME THING. I spent over two (2) hours last night reading the archives, chronologically, to find that strip to link to it from here (ah, good times) but since I started at the beginning I just gave up around late June 2002.
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CortJstr

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #24 on: August 02, 2003, 07:49:15 pm »
I've always been partial to the square cards you find at Hallmark. Ones that say things like "1) It's your birthday. 2) The cows are not yet home. You know what to do."

Although my personal favorite card looked like this—

Front: IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY! I GOT YOU A CARD!

Inside: THIS IS THE INSIDE!

Back: HERE'S THE BACK!!!

(Hmm, is this on topic enough? Maybe I should ask to have myself locked)
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jay-ell

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #25 on: August 02, 2003, 07:51:31 pm »
Close enough.  Carry on.
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Nabubrush

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #26 on: August 02, 2003, 09:02:55 pm »
I didn't think the greeting card deal was hilarious, but I'm thankful it's not always the same old thing from Achewood. I mean, I like diesel sweeties, but there's never anything particularly surprising in it. At least Achewood is mutable. For those of you who read other webcomics, is there any artist out there you can foresee putting out a cookbook? Or doing something like the Nate Small series?
The thing that really amuses me is RStevens complaining about Onstad's output. It seems to me that Onstad has a few more irons in the fire, so to speak. (When I started posting to Duumbrella, I was taken with the concept that the producer of something that I really loved would actually take time to read my opinions about his (or her) output. I don't get that from, say, John Woo or Andrew Vachss or Stevie Wonder.) I would be reluctant to complain about Onstad's output even if it were one strip a month, given that it's free. Of course, I'm really happy right now anyway because of other things that are going on, so that might be spilling over.
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slink

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #27 on: August 02, 2003, 09:55:09 pm »
The only other cartoonist I can think of who does different stuff, though even then not to the extent Onstad does, would be my other favourite - Drew Weing. Things like the vintage Pup spoofed to be by an artist from the 1920's was just beautiful.
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jough

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #28 on: August 02, 2003, 10:30:58 pm »
Quote from: "Choopernickel"
I thought the EXACT SAME THING. I spent over two (2) hours last night reading the archives, chronologically, to find that strip to link to it from here (ah, good times) but since I started at the beginning I just gave up around late June 2002.


Dude, that strip was from like, a month ago.

Why not start at the present and go backwards, or just read the little titles in the Archives.  I think that one was called "Molly McSweeneys" or something.
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Choop

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Open Letter to Greeting Card Companies
« Reply #29 on: August 03, 2003, 01:10:07 am »
what can I say? I was bored anyway. I tend to do things that make very little sense.
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