What happened to you doing your hiatus, Ark? That is pretty cynical. Not to mention really, really possible.
Before and after pictures required.
i've been told that generally i have a tendency to sometimes be somewhat, to a degree, be cynical.
my hiatus involved deep soul searching, chewing of my head by cats, re-enrollment into community college, head colds, holiday seasons, and long walks on the beach under a killing moon, and continual planning and re-adjustment of wedding plans.
Before:

After:

Geez, Ark, what the hell got into you lately? As far as I can see, Bozack's female friend (as differentiated from ladyfriend) never offered nookie, and Bozack doesn't expect it. Both of them seem to be honest about this, and if Bozack expects anything in return besides verbal thanks, it's not coming through here. Take a freakin' chill pill and let him do something nice for a friend, even if it involves a pink secret he may not have access to.
if i told you i had already taken my daily/weekly/monthly quota of Dr Recommended, Child Approved, Big Ol' Gob O' Dobbs' Chill Pills Guaranteed to cure All Ills, it would prove to all beyond any shadow of a doubt that i am irreconcilably beyond any and all help.
so i won't.
instead i'll poorly construct a vision of Bozack as representative of my lost and ill-spent youth,
and how i harbour a jealousy towards his freedom,
an elder's fondness of the pluck of youth,
and 3 parts Worstechershire to 2 parts Seasoned Salt.
Bozack was a fine young man: hirsute, forthright, honest, plucky, and loved by many a small woodland creature.
to the Big City he came, with open eyes and open nose,
to quickly learn not to stare and to close his nose.
Many a travel and travail had he in a windy city (not THE windy city),
and many a tail did he tell about.
The world is full of many people,
and many of those people would not hesitate to allow you to wax their car twice on
false pretenses (assumed or expressed or hidden or on a sleeve or in a cap).
These people consider living to be a competition, and their only desire is not to lose.
In their game, everyone is in the field of play, and any who do not play are to be used
all the more for their lack of appreciation for the rules.
At the end, however, i would recommend tilting at other windmills,
rather than chasing the will o' the wisp that is opening the pu$$y of friends
and family through modern medicine and its practice therein. To my appreciation,
there are larger things afoot than a mere Hymenotomy.
now, quickly, to The Hymenopter.
--
also, spell check kicks ass! no i have no excuse not to capitalize "i've". excellent!
i, however, could not spell irreconcailllabbbily write, thoe.
it gave up on worstecherershireshire-derby though.