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Author Topic: Juno: Quirky suckage  (Read 7632 times)

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littlefallsmets

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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #15 on: January 29, 2008, 04:05:34 pm »

Wait, Dane Cook was a choice?

No, no, Dane Cook is not a choice. Dane Cook is not "funny" in any way, he just kind of yells and gesticulates like an ape but succeeds because he pays ridiculous lipservice to "his fans" and lets people live their dreams of undeserved success through him. Dude is the Ponzi scheme of comedy.

There is no Dane Cook, only Zuul.

Two movies I like very much are "Major League" and "Eraserhead". Either film would've been ruined by trying to be in any way like the other. Gills don't work well on a bird, either. Clarity of vision.

Make a crowd pleaser and do it right or make an artistic statement and do it right.

Don't make a formula crowd-pleaser life-affirmer and then stud it with little cloves of manufactured screwball intellectualism like one of those annoying Christmas potpourri oranges. It doesn't work like that.

You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck. Come from a place of pure vision and do it right or come from a place of commerce and do it right. "Buffalo 66" exists as the shining example of what happens when a male-model douche tries to self-consciously make a "quirky Sundace picture".

You make the worst movie in the history of cinema, you know.

Blah.
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theinevitable

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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #16 on: January 29, 2008, 05:36:57 pm »

no, dude, for real. Dane Cook is basically loved by everyone, for some reason. I would say that he is doing something right in terms of making money. And quite frankly, it seems like Juno has made a pretty good amount of money by getting tons of people to go see it who wouldn't go see "Big Daddy" or whatever the fuck.

I just don't see how failing to conform to your ideas of Purity of Vision means that someone isn't bringing their vision to their work. Some people think that a good movie should be mildly quirky, and if they can use that to make money, awesome for them. I like the Beatles, and I like the Velvet Underground, and I like Sonic Youth, and I like "The Lip Gloss Song." Pop, fucked up noise music, pop music with fucked up noise. People who need things to be all one way or all the other tick me off, especially when there's good shit in between.
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melack

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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #17 on: January 29, 2008, 06:41:08 pm »

I didn't like the first ten or fifteen minutes of Juno -- where the dialogue is the snappiest and most contrived --  but I loved the rest of it, once the characters started to take form. It's not a perfect movie, and I don't think it's really Oscar-Material (but if fuck*ng Crash is, what the hell isn't?);  It's just a funny, enjoyable film with believable characters who sometimes say unbelievable things. I'm willing to forgive that. This is, after all, fiction.

And I don't think the music was "forced" at all. I remember listening to the Moldy Peaches (the band that makes up the bulk of the soundtrack) in the backseat of my friend's car in high school seven years ago. This is actual music that a few actual high school kids might actually listen to. Yeah, I am (and was) a bit of an indie snob, but there is genuine, human music found in this movie.

I'm sorry that a couple of you feel like this movie is trying dangerously hard to be something. I just found it to be an quality film that didn't end up killing me. And that's it.

But at least we can all agree that Dane Cook fuck*ng sucks.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2008, 06:44:47 pm by melack »
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Golfhaus

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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #18 on: January 30, 2008, 12:22:09 am »

no, dude, for real. Dane Cook is basically loved by everyone, for some reason.

He's loved by people like me for making us laugh so hard milk comes out our nose. The first time I heard his bit about the people who don't talk loud enough at the drive-thru window, I almost passed out because I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe. I didn't watch that movie he did with Jessica Simpson, because I didn't want to see that much of her unless she was naked and quiet. But Mrs. Haus showed me "Waiting..." recently, and I fell in love with him all over again.

That being said, the "cool" thing is to dig on Dane Cook. The "cooler" thing is to hate him.
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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #19 on: January 30, 2008, 12:30:51 am »

He was not so great in Dan In Real Life.
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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #20 on: January 30, 2008, 12:42:16 am »

golfhaus-- I shit you not, right as I read that post, my roommates turned on the TV and popped in a DVD of him.
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jaydub

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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #21 on: January 30, 2008, 12:54:19 am »

My niece is watching a bleeped-out tv special of his at the moment.
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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #22 on: January 30, 2008, 02:29:28 am »

Just as I read that he turned up at my door and started making witty commentary about my everyday life.
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theinevitable

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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #23 on: January 30, 2008, 02:32:12 am »

actually, I just read on CNN that the reason it went from almost 70 degrees at 3 PM to being 18 degrees now is that Dane Cook thought it would be fuck*ng hilarious.

he is in an arena yelling about how fuck*ng hilarious it is, right now.

also, he made the top button of my coat pop off while I was trying to button it to keep out the hardest wind I think I've felt in my life.
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KeithHernandez

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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #24 on: January 30, 2008, 02:44:15 am »

Shit man, that is the same wind I had this afternoon.  It will be gone soon.

Also, you want wind, move to Oklahoma.
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theinevitable

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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #25 on: January 30, 2008, 02:49:32 am »

I...

I do not want wind at all. I want wind in the summer, when it is cool and pleasing. Not now.
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KeithHernandez

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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #26 on: January 30, 2008, 03:00:27 am »

Yeah, I know.  I was challenging your manhood.  You can't handle wind how are you going to handle a lady?
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theinevitable

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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #27 on: January 30, 2008, 03:26:16 am »

probably by realizing that a lady is not anything like wind, in that she is sometimes soft and pleasing. Also, you can talk to a lady or buy her dinner.

The wind just makes your face and hands real cold.

sometimes a lady makes you sad, but, wind just keeps hating on you no matter how many times you try to give it flowers.

ok, so, I guess ladies and wind have that one thing in common. I'll give you that one.
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linnea

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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #28 on: January 30, 2008, 04:22:52 am »

But at least we can all agree that Dane Cook fuck*ng sucks.

That guy is the world's biggest douche. He has no routine or jokes. I rented a DVD of his once and sorely regretted it. Sorry to all the dudes who like Dane. I am a huge fan of standup comedy, so give me Bill Hicks or Margaret Cho any day of the week.
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Re: Juno: Quirky suckage
« Reply #29 on: January 30, 2008, 02:27:17 pm »

Yeah, I know.  I was challenging your manhood.  You can't handle wind how are you going to handle a lady?

This is great wisdom.

Wind has not made me cry.  Ladies have made me cry.
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