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[oball]

This is the closest I have:

So there's these two swagmen wandering around the Outback.  They haven't seen another person for quite some time, and their supplies are starting to get quite low, when one evening they come to the outskirts of a small town.  Well, calling it a town isn't really accurate - it's more a loose collection of a few sheds and run-down houses, with a sign saying "Welcome to Mercy.  Population - 7."  The two swaggies walk down the main (and only) street, and see that one of the larger buildings has a sign proclaiming "Mercy Hotel".

They enter the hotel, which is mostly old and dusty.  There's an old dusty man asleep on an old dusty chair in the corner.  The swaggies walk up to the bar (which unsurprisingly is both dusty and old) and sit down.  After a few minutes, a large woman in an apron walks out behind the bar.

"Yis?"

"G'day love.  We were just passing through, and thought we might buy a couple of beers to wash the dust of the road from our throats."

"We don't have any beer."

"Oh. Well, what have you got?"

The woman points to a small blackboard perched at the end of the bar.  On it is written "Drinks menu:  Koala tea".

The two swaggies glance at each other, and then one says "Well then, two mugs of koala tea, if you don't mind."  The woman nods, and bustles off into the kitchen.  When she returns a few minutes later, the swaggies can't believe their eyes.  She's carrying a gently steaming billy, with a pair of fluffy ears poking pathetically out of the top, and two claws grasping the edge of the can.  Now, the swaggies have seen some pretty bad things in their time on the road, but never anything as grim as this.  They both spring to their feet, and beg her to take away the tea and strain it.  At this, the woman draws herself up haughtily, and declares "I'm afraid that I can't do that...

...the koala tea of Mercy is not strained!"

[littlefallsmets]

Swagman?

[Doc]

Oball gets canned for telling a joke I haven't heard since I was 12.

[Arachno-capitalist]

Swagman?

Yea, they walk around convention centers bagging logo t-shirts and pens that light up when you click them.

[AugustWest]

They're saying "Boo-urns".

[V-Adore]

You know, I remember when a pun of that caliber would get you on Double-Secret Probation.

Still, thank you for giving me the awkward pre-adolescent chuckles.

[jaydub]

Well hell.  Now I've got to go read Merchant of Venice again.

[Beatrice]

one of my favorite adult-but-not-in-a-sexy-way games is to go to the health food store and blend my own teas from various herbs.  i still get a kick out of putting rose hips and hibiscus in with my "real" tea.  (ooh my goawd there's flowers in it!) but yeah.  and it's always a good excuse to flirt/discuss shit/medicinal such-and-such with the hippie ladies.  or hippie dudes if you are into that. but it's cheaper and stronger (fresher) than anything in a bag in a box on the back of whatever shelf you're perusing.  but hey it's almost (two months?) garden time!  you could be planting all types of tea-stuffs!

[Arachno-capitalist]

you could be planting all types of tea-stuffs!

Like Coca bushes! Talk about some stimulating tea, that stuff is On Point.

[theinevitable]

oh man, Asheville.

Bea, have you been to the little Cup-Cake place in downtown asheville? It is right by... a big obelisk? it's in a little corner shop, with just 2 tables. Delicious. I got hot cider there and it was heavenly. Also, we sat at a the table with a cute girl who worked at some restaurant nearby, so I was pretty happy.

[Ben-San]

Come on, people... 15 posts without a teabag joke? We're better than this.

Or we were until 1:53 AM, at least.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Come on, people... 15 posts without a teabag joke? We're better than this.

If only Neal Pollack was a member here.

[Turbo Ninja]

When I went to India I was really psyched about having some delicious tea with everything.  I figured the British stayed in India for hell of a long time due to delicious tea so it's got to be all over the place, like lobsters in Maine or lamb in New Zealand.

I was disappointed to learn that generally in India the default tea in hotels and restaurants is...bags of Tetley.

A few days into my trip I read a newspaper column lamenting the state of tea in India. The imperial Brits basically ruined it for the natives by exporting all the good stuff and leaving the bitter rejects, which led to the creation of things like chai or masala tea out of the need to cover up the Hunts-quality leaves they were given.  Now good tea is more readily available but Indians don't drink it because they associate it with the ugliness of English rule (this is the same reason Americans hate soccer).

[Golfhaus]

I thought we hated soccer because we can't appreciate the defensive brilliance of a nil-nil tie.

[MagFlare]

I thought we hated soccer because we can't appreciate the defensive brilliance of a nil-nil tie.

Ah - that'd explain why the announcers always sound so excited after each goal.

Something I just noticed - note Connie's phrasing: "The tea Americans are served at Chinese restaurants isn't fit for an enema bulb."

Not "The tea at Chinese restaurants in America..." but "The tea Americans are served at Chinese restaurants..."

He's saying that all Chinese restaurants have the good stuff, but don't bust it out for the average round-eyed, coffee-addled savage. They hang onto it so it'll be appreciated by someone who isn't entirely ignorant of the world of tea - for themselves.

I've always thought the default Oolong at your average local Chinese restaurant was pretty good. How do I convince them to fetch the real tea?