The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood Sssshhh...I'm discovering Sleater-Kinney. This is a special time in a boy's life.

Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner  (Read 3503 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

dejavroom

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • -=Ray=-
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 165
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1362
  • confused and angry
    • View Profile
09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« on: September 10, 2008, 11:59:47 am »
Fuck cooking. Seriously, fuck it.

At first I didn't notice that this was a re-run. Is it still game to post it?

Fuck cooking.


[fixed link - Cort]
« Last Edit: September 12, 2008, 08:45:46 pm by CortJstr »
Logged
The absurdity is veiled by the poetic charm with which the poet invests it.

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2008, 01:13:07 pm »
Not a re-run actually.  It appeared before in the New Yorker or something.  Now it's being presented to us.

In other news: Little Nephew still Dead?
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2008, 01:19:06 pm »
I have never actually seen a condom machine in a bathroom. WWF Attitude Era temporary tattoo machines, yes, but no condoms.
Logged

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2008, 01:46:10 pm »
Quote from: CortJstr on September 10, 2008, 01:19:06 pm
I have never actually seen a condom machine in a bathroom. WWF Attitude Era temporary tattoo machines, yes, but no condoms.

Obviously you need to frequent more truck stops and/or pool halls.
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2008, 02:19:47 pm »
Yeah, dude.  I've seen them in Ladies rooms. 
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

lprkn

  • VIP
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 244
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1907
  • Hella yellin' about the sex
    • View Profile
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2008, 05:24:12 pm »
Quote from: CortJstr on September 10, 2008, 01:19:06 pm
I have never actually seen a condom machine in a bathroom. WWF Attitude Era temporary tattoo machines, yes, but no condoms.

Where was this bathroom that sells such things? Seems like you'd have to be drunk or 12 to buy one. Where do 12 year olds drink these days?
Logged

smick

  • -=Ray=-
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1351
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1437
  • MasturBot 342: ONLINE
    • View Profile
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2008, 07:05:29 pm »
I was recently in a bathroom with just such a machine.

It was covered in enough sharpie and stickers that the contents of each slot had become completely obfuscated.

"Perhaps I'll get some massage oil.  Maybe a condom.  Can I be reasonably assured that this will be safe to use after such rough trade?"
Logged

Dangermoose

  • Chucklebot
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 51
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 191
    • View Profile
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2008, 08:07:03 pm »
Quote from: smick on September 10, 2008, 07:05:29 pm
I was recently in a bathroom with just such a machine.

It was covered in enough sharpie and stickers that the contents of each slot had become completely obfuscated.

"Perhaps I'll get some massage oil.  Maybe a condom.  Can I be reasonably assured that this will be safe to use after such rough trade?"

I have seen several of these machines that offers something along the lines of a "surprise me" button.
Logged

Ruta Bagas

  • Dr. Andretti
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 108
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 426
  • Is that a shiny ring?
    • View Profile
    • The World Is Lovely
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #8 on: September 11, 2008, 01:08:07 am »
The worst ones are the ones that only sell glow-in-the-dark ticklers that are not suitable for contraceptive use.

Or in an oblique way, the ones student unions put up to dispense freebies, because they speak of a world in which you have to lock your condoms in a metal box to protect them from loonies who think that sticking a pin through them is a morally laudable act.
Logged

Golfhaus

  • VIP
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 116
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1625
  • He does not approve. Not at all.
    • View Profile
    • http://www.prolefeed.com
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #9 on: September 11, 2008, 03:50:43 am »
Liked it better the first time I read it.
Logged

Ruta Bagas

  • Dr. Andretti
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 108
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 426
  • Is that a shiny ring?
    • View Profile
    • The World Is Lovely
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #10 on: September 11, 2008, 09:45:31 am »
Quote from: Golfhaus on September 11, 2008, 03:50:43 am
Liked it better the first time I read it.

Well I'm sorry my posts don't hold up to rereading for you. I'm sorry you can't compile them into a finely-bound but slim tone and keep them under your pillow to turn through each night before you go to sleep. I'm sorry you can't repeat them as soothing mantras. Jesus fuck*ng Christ.
Logged

KeithHernandez

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1014
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3209
  • I am, again, Keith Hernandez
    • View Profile
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #11 on: September 11, 2008, 11:07:50 am »
Jesus tittyfuck*ng Christ
Logged
You say one day soon we will all stand as brothers, 'til then I guess we'll just stand around.

Ruta Bagas

  • Dr. Andretti
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 108
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 426
  • Is that a shiny ring?
    • View Profile
    • The World Is Lovely
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #12 on: September 11, 2008, 11:15:24 am »
Quote from: KeithHernandez on September 11, 2008, 11:07:50 am
Jesus tittyfuck*ng Christ

This could happen. He is omnipotent.
Logged

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #13 on: September 11, 2008, 12:28:33 pm »
Quote from: KeithHernandez on September 11, 2008, 11:07:50 am
Jesus tittyfuck*ng Christ

With a glow-in-the-dark, ribbed-for-her-pleasure intimate novelty bought at the Flyin' J.
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

Ruta Bagas

  • Dr. Andretti
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 108
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 426
  • Is that a shiny ring?
    • View Profile
    • The World Is Lovely
Re: 09-10-08 - Julienne it on the Benriner
« Reply #14 on: September 11, 2008, 02:36:45 pm »
Surely "ribbed for His pleasure"?
Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
« previous next »