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Author Topic: t-shirt bullcrap  (Read 4586 times)

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keef

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t-shirt bullcrap
« on: December 01, 2003, 10:15:51 pm »
So I ordered the Rabbit Ambulance t-shirt the day that it went on sale.  The day!  So like a month and a half ago.  It didn't show up and it didn't show up, and so last week I wrote an irritated email to the order taker or whoever.  They assured me that it was shipping out ASAP.  Then I look at the new store and they have all this "quick ship" bullshit.

It's like, why did you advertise the shirts if you knew you wouldn't have them for a month and a half?  I feel kind of bilked.
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andalucia

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2003, 10:42:58 pm »
Bilk.  That's a nifty word.
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Limmo

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2003, 11:03:13 pm »
Go to the Lounge and read the thread "How long did it take you to get your Achewood gear?" to see other people whining about this very topic - none more bitterly than me!
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jough

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #3 on: December 01, 2003, 11:49:59 pm »
Keef,

Onstad is poor, and needs to order X amount of shirts before he can afford to have them printed.

Therefore he takes orders on shirts he has not yet produced, and when he gets enough of one design he orders them, and then eventually gets around to shipping them.  Maybe.
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doomglobe

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2003, 12:03:30 am »
Keef,

Onstad is an alcoholic, and needs to become inebriated before he can package up your shirt.

Therefore he takes orders until he has enough money for a bottle of ketel one, chugs it, and eventually gets around to shipping them. Maybe.
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AugustWest

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2003, 12:41:20 am »
I'm a sucker for a running gag.  Therefore...

Keef:

Onstad is a raving lunatic, and needs to engage in random infurating behavior because the voices in his head tell him to.

Therefore, he takes an order, then waits until his doorknob mentions that the illuminati no longer are monitoring his wholesale t-shirt purchases.  Then he sacrifices a catgiraffe at midnight, dances naked in the backyard around it, and if the entrails show favorable omens, then and ONLY THEN, will Onstad mail you your shirt.

Maybe.
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slink

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2003, 12:44:33 am »
Anything with an Illuminati reference in it...

:grin:
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wombat

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2003, 01:00:26 am »
Keef,

Onstad is an evil cult leader who needs all of us to be at the mercy of his every whim as the first step in his plan for world domination.  

Therefore, he waits to ship your shirt until he can tell, from the chip he has implanted in your brain, that you are finally so frustrated and angry that you are about to swear never to order anything again and maybe even stop reading the strip. Then he ships your order and you are so thrilled and amazed that you forgive him everything. You are compelled to write messageboard posts about the wonderfulness of the merchandise, send everyone you know the URL of his site, and generally remain under his evil thrall.
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AugustWest

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2003, 01:07:43 am »
Maybe.
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V-Adore

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2003, 03:24:50 am »
Keef:

Onstad is a human being, and he needs to be loved, just like everyone else does. There's a club that he'd like to go, where he might meet someone who really loves him -- but he goes and he stands on his own, and he leaves on his own, and he goes home and he cries and he wants to die. This may impede speedy T-shirt shipment.
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jough

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« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2003, 03:47:52 am »
Maybe.
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Mite

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2003, 04:06:00 am »
That lyric is the single reason I've never been able to be a Smiths fan.

Anyway, I ordered a cookbook and a t-shirt in August, and it took about 3 months before I got everything. They weren't gifts, so I wasn't in any hurry, and it was like I'd gotten free stuff in the mail when they finally came!
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starlight

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2003, 10:30:46 am »
Yeah, actually, I just emailed him concerning my order since I'm growing impatient; it seems to be taking way longer than expected.  that $50 could've went to erm, a haircut or something (I sacrificed my hair and have yet to have enough for it!) if I knew it would arrive near "Christmas" (well, if it does indeed 'maybe' as we say, ships) when I could've had someone else buy me it :\

Anyway, I said I'd switch my order to 'quick ship' items if I'd get them faster ..har.  I am pure evil.  :D

[edited cause for some reason it wouldn't allow a word and that made me sad to keep it like that making it look like I was crazy ..not that I'm not]
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andalucia

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t-shirt bullcrap
« Reply #13 on: December 02, 2003, 11:48:53 am »
Starlight:  I offer this as a rebuttal to V-Adore.
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side_show

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« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2003, 12:31:48 pm »
Keef,

Onstad is a sex pervert and his fetish is masterbating onto T-shirts, unfortunatly he also then has a great deal of guilt about this, which leads to the shirt having to be washed, but then the T-shirt is extra warm from the dryer, and you can imagine what happens next.  It's a viscious cycle.  But look at the benifits: when you actually do get your shirt it'll have a nice worn in feeling, and perhaps some of Onstad's DNA.  

As for your predicament, I ordered my bunny ambulance shirt the day it came out too, so I know where you're coming from.
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