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[Bobby Isosceles]

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Devil sneered and said:

“Fuck you!!! AHAHAHAHAH!!! ” and BROM! Devil returned to hell. Bella put her hand on her belly and felt an idiot, but she must save the baby for now. The time returned to it's normal pace, and a band of thousands ninjas appeared in the room:

“Bella, Bella, Bella...give me the unborn and go away, so we can savour his baby boneeeees!” said the leader ninja.

“Never, you have to eat me first!” said Bella, as she charges in the ninja direction. She them jumps on his shoulders and do a backflip on the air, grabbing a chandelier.

“Now ninjas, fell the wrath of a preggo!!!!” and Bella jumps from the chandelier and kicks the ninja in the face.

“AHHHHH!!” he is thrown away. The other ninjas wield their weapons and charge in Bella's direction. They start to slash the swords, but she deflects them with kicks. But there are too many, so she do a spinning kick, throwing all of them on the ground. The only way to escape is deep inside the evil baby clothes shop, because the front door is locked, so she goes in and goes down the stairs. The maniac ninjas start to follow her throwing shurinkens, but she dodges and pick some of them in the air.

“Oh, a strange mirror!” Bella says, “I think it's a portal, I shall enter and free myself from these scums!” and Bella enters the portal mirror. But the ninjas are still chasing her, and they enter in the mirror too. The mirror transports Bella to a harbour, were pirates drink and sleep with whores.

A pirate sees Bella and shout:

“Look! A pregnant! Let's fuck her while the baby is inside!” and a mob of thousands of pirates, swinging swords starts to chase Bella.

“Oh my God! The pirates are chasing me! I must escape or I'll be raped!” and Bella throw shurikes at the pirates, hitting some of them in the head. The pirates hit by shurikens them explodes in a thousand ribs splashing blood all over the sea and the docks. But the other pirates are vicious and continues the chase.

However, the ninjas appears from the magical mirror and see the pirates:

“Look!” shout the ninja leader, “Pirates! Let's disembowel these bastards and serve them to our pet bulls!” and the ninjas charge in the pirates direction. The pirates them pull their guns from their belts and start to shoot ninjas, killing many.

“Dirty sailors!” shout the pirate leader, “Kill the ninjas and serve them as octopuss dinner!” and the slaying and beheading continues between the dirty and scoudrels. Bella is throwing shurinkens all over the directions and them, she steal a pirate sword and cut the pirates and ninjas in half.

Later:

. But with all that noise, a bunch of hindu zombies residing inside the ship awakes. They invoke the power of Shiva and start to throw flame balls at the ninjas and pirates and Bella. Ninjas get toasted and pirates get burned, but Bella deflects the flame bolts with her ninja katana and pirate rusty tetanic sword. She them slash and cuts and dismember a lot of zombies, killing ninjas and pirates too. But the fire thrown by zombies inside Kraken's belly irritates him, and he starts to fell bad.

As the fight ensues, the Kraken can't stand anymore irritation in his stomach, because he have ulcers, and he sneezes the ship full of people and undead out of his body with a giant splash of cattarh. The ship them flies over the skies because it has giant angel wings, because it was a present from God to Leonardo da Vinci. However, the indian hindu zombies stole the ship and it never reached it's destiny. But with so much jinx the zombies and ship got swallowed by Kraken. Now they are free, but God is not happy. He sees from the heavens the flying ship with zombies and pirates and ninjas and Bella, so He decides to recover his big treasure, sending thousands and thousands of angels.

The angels them start to go down, diving with their wings and attacking with swords and arrows and bows all the people fighting in the vessel. Ninjas shoot shurinkens in angels. Pirates shoots them with guns. Zombies eat their brains and Bella cut their wings off with her two swords. She them pick one pair of wings of an angel and puts on her back, so she starts to fly and fight with the angels in the air. The angels are furious and shout:

“You earthly garbage!!!!! Die by our fuck*ng holy swords!!!” and they cut a lot of people, but get killed very fast because they don't have armor.

And still later:

“Bella, you made a pact, you owe me your soul!” coughing blood and trembling with pain.

“Yes Satan!” cries out loud Bella, “fell my soul in your ASS!!!!!” and Bella picks a passing lighting bolt and shoves it in Satan's ass, exploding him in a trillion of pieces all over the universe. His blood reaches the time space continuum, and everything starts to goes back to the normality. The earth recomposes itself, the heavens turn existent again, the ninjas and pirates and zombies and aliens and angels and demons and nazis starts to comemorate drinking vodka in big vats. They shout Bella's name:

“Bella!!!! Bella!!! The savior of galaxy, Bella!!!!” and they start to dance and get drunk and fighting again. Bella them goes back to Earth and God says:

“Thanks Bella, you saved the existence and rearranged the natural laws of universe!!”

“It's nothing God, every time you need!” and Bella goes back to the baby clothes shop.

I seriously can not stop laughing at this guy

[Drygioni]

I can't decide if it's intelligent humour or not but I don't care really, it gives me belly laughs far more genuine than the shite that emanates from BBC3 every evening

[jaydub]

Pretty sublime.  He nails the confusion of tenses pretty solidly.  Its a lot like reading my niece's Twilight/Harry Potter slashfic, only more coherent and with fewer misspellings.

[miles]

Its a lot like reading my niece's Twilight/Harry Potter slashfic, only more coherent and with fewer misspellings.

A joke, right? That's a joke, that you have a niece who writes slashfic, and you actually read it, right?

[Thomas Pain]

is there any way to not be presented with topics I haven't started or posted in?  Occasionally I'd like to consider other topics for my attention, but most of the time I'm just incredibly self-centered.  I mean, who wrote this friggin BBS software?  Ghandi?

-edit

I'm wondering about penlss.  like, do guys ever talk about their peneses with each other?  Only guy I know who would do that was this guy I knew who had this real unique kinda sense of humor.  he would sexualize everything.  he was very comfortable with taboo sexual topics.  he was also a little flaming.  him and I were roommates for a while.  (platonic) 

um..  do girls ever talk about their labias and pu$$ys no what's the word I'm looking for I think it's cunt no that's the slag I wanted the medical thing. oh well whatever.  do girls ever talk about those

why don't we have like photos of our pensis on facebook?  That should be an option.  maybe not everyone would go for it.  at first.  but you've seen how people have really changed their attitudes about privacy.

maybe there should be a christmas greeting card company that is mail order it sends you a home plaster kit for your penls you make a plaster mold of your penls and send it in and maybe for something reasonable like say 59.95 they mail you back a dozen rubber penlss but wait that's not all not only do you get these rubberized lifelike peinises, you get them with your family christmas photo immaculately printed on each one!  celebrate life this chrismas, celebrate conception!  extra penlss only like, $2 each or something.  Or cunts.  you can have cunts or pensies.

of course, then there would be your rich uncle eddie who would out do everyone and he'd get the extravagant battery operated self-erecting christmas penlss for like $59.95 *each* and he'd mail those out to everyone.  Those are the ones where you have to do two plaster molds.

I mean, hey, it would be a social bonding sort of thing for friends and family alike.  why should penlss and cunts be all taboo and sexualized.  nuddists can tell you that. 

nuddists.  what is up with nuddists.  crazy nuddists.

[Thomas Pain]

also, why does bobbyisosceles.com *****s.txt User-agent: * Disallow: / ???
that's kinda reclusive of you bobbbeeee
and also that one guy from arkensaws or whatever it is um... the guy with the eggs in his avatar... umm..  dude you hasn't accepted my friend request on facebook yet.  what gives?

[pmcd9]

It's all dog shit. 

[Toaster]

um..  do girls ever talk about their labias and pu$$ys no what's the word I'm looking for I think it's cunt no that's the slag I wanted the medical thing. oh well whatever.  do girls ever talk about those

I believe the word you are looking for is vulva.

[littlefallsmets]

aqua vulva

[AugustWest]

also, why does bobbyisosceles.com *****s.txt User-agent: * Disallow: /
that's kinda reclusive of you bobbbeeee
and also that one guy from arkensaws or whatever it is um... the guy with the eggs in his avatar... umm..  dude you hasn't accepted my friend request on facebook yet.  what gives?

I didn't know it was you.

[jay-ell]

Dude, I think TP is drunk-posting.

Also, your prayers have been answered, TP.

[Mr Trout]

And since TOUAMB is an Equal Opportunity Employer: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=38412150

[AugustWest]

Dude, I think TP is drunk-posting.

Golly!

[Mr Trout]

Dude, I think TP is drunk-posting.

Also, your prayers have been answered, TP.

I just remembered some blog post I read where a dude cloned his little guy and then had his GF peg him with it. I've been trying to bring this up in casual conversation but it has never seemed appropriate until now.

[greenkoolayd]

I just remembered some blog post I read where a dude cloned his little guy and then had his GF peg him with it. I've been trying to bring this up in casual conversation but it has never seemed appropriate until now.

i like having a place that makes things like this possible.