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Author Topic: Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines  (Read 8712 times)

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jough

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #15 on: February 05, 2004, 04:54:56 pm »
Hey baby, are those "space #####" you're wearing?  Because your ass is OUT OF THIS WORLD!
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Carlos del Vaca

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #16 on: February 05, 2004, 05:29:22 pm »
So back in the day, my buddy and I go to a dance club.  We're up on the second level at the bar, and he goes off to the bathroom.  I'm just chiling waiting for him, and I pick up a flyer on the bar that says they're having a Ministry album release party (remember, this is like 1992 when Ministry was actually doing interesting things).

An attractive young woman comes up and stands next to me at the bar, waiting for the bartender.  I say to myself, "Think of something to say to her!"  But I got nuthin'.  Then I notice she's kind of reading the flyer over my shoulder, so I hold it up and say "Ministry.  Excellent."

As the words are coming out of my mouth, I am thinking to myself "Jesus CHRIST why am I such a DORK."  She was like "Yeah, whatever."  When my friend came back from the bathroom, I told him what had happened, and therefore "Ministry, excellent" became a catchphrase with our crew for a while.
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slink

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #17 on: February 05, 2004, 06:55:53 pm »
Quote from: "carlosdelvaca"
so I hold it up and say "Ministry.  Excellent."


DUDE! What a way to fuck*ng bomb man! Ouch!
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FOOD CHAIN! GET USED TO IT!

AlohaDawg

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #18 on: February 05, 2004, 06:59:56 pm »
Quote from: "Bozack"
Quote from: "CortJstr"
a minor or local celebrity that you know lives an hour away.

Local celebrities really don't do it for me. Because, back home, that means I saw them every night, telling me about children dying in fires and/or the weather.


When you're bonin' them they tend to find other verbal expressions...usually.
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Bozack

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #19 on: February 05, 2004, 07:57:00 pm »
Quote from: "AlohaDawg"
When you're bonin' them they tend to find other verbal expressions...usually.

Ha, I bet when the weathergirl gets her bone on, her face is frozen in that creepy smile the WHOLE TIME. I'll be Mr. Weathergirl has invested heavily in paper bags.
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V-Adore

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #20 on: February 05, 2004, 09:46:09 pm »
The side topic about weatherman sex fantasies has reminded me of another general piece of advice for this category:

Sometimes you have a female friend in whom you've expressed interest but does not return that interest. That's okay, but for God's sake refrain from giving her unsolicited personal information... and whatever you do, don't talk about your fetishes.

This goes especially if:
* The fetish is particularly disturbing, embarrassing, or socially unsupported
* She is dating someone else
* You are dating someone else
* ... and your friend knows your girlfriend
* ... and you're asking for fetish-related relationship advice
* ... and you've given your girlfriend a fetish-related pet name
* ALL OF THE GODDAMN ABOVE

God, what are some guys on?!
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Bozack

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #21 on: February 05, 2004, 10:31:20 pm »
Quote from: "V-Adore"
God, what are some guys on?!

Well, now we know there's a personal story involved, and I, for one, am interested. Here's a deal, spill the beans and you'll get those CDs.
SO WHAT FETISH WAS IT? HUH?
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AlohaDawg

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #22 on: February 05, 2004, 11:30:18 pm »
Do we need to talk about boundaries, kids?
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V-Adore

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #23 on: February 06, 2004, 12:36:35 am »
Quote from: "Bozack"
Quote from: "V-Adore"
God, what are some guys on?!

Well, now we know there's a personal story involved, and I, for one, am interested. Here's a deal, spill the beans and you'll get those CDs.
SO WHAT FETISH WAS IT? HUH?

All I'm going to say about it is that this all actually happened, with a horrible "friend" who had no sense of personal space, tact, or even "look, I have a boyfriend who isn't a raging asstard, so could you just go away?"

The fetish was bad. I have sworn never again to utter the pet name he gave to the friend of mine he was dating at the time.
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Limmo

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« Reply #24 on: February 06, 2004, 12:40:05 am »
Quote from: "V-Adore"
The fetish was bad. I have sworn never again to utter the pet name he gave to the friend of mine he was dating at the time.


SURE, JUST KEEP PROVOKING US
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V-Adore

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #25 on: February 06, 2004, 12:42:24 am »
Quote from: "Limmo"
Quote from: "V-Adore"
The fetish was bad. I have sworn never again to utter the pet name he gave to the friend of mine he was dating at the time.


SURE, JUST KEEP PROVOKING US

Okay, a hint: we were talking about it a few days ago.

(Yes, he told me all the sordid details of his sexual fantasies about underground street dancing...)
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Bozack

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #26 on: February 06, 2004, 01:31:02 am »
Quote from: "V-Adore"
The fetish was bad.

Was it bad? Or was it internet bad?
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Choop

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« Reply #27 on: February 06, 2004, 02:02:13 am »
<mod-speak>
Watch it folks. Yes, we all know each other quite well here, or at least think we're great internet buddies, but that certainly doesn't mean anybody should feel they need to give up any personal info they don't initially want to.
</mod-speak>


Damnit, I'm curious now too.
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jay-ell

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« Reply #28 on: February 06, 2004, 02:07:42 am »
Here's an idea: Take it to PM.  

Cut me in, too.  

How novel!
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AlohaDawg

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Evil-Prince-of-Mars Pickup Lines
« Reply #29 on: February 06, 2004, 02:27:45 am »
You people are no fun. To coin an AugustWest-ism, this has become a

BUKKAKE FIASCO!
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