The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => People & Places => Topic started by: Jeepers on January 19, 2006, 08:08:50 pm
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This is kinda like the interweb version of standing up in the middle of a circle of strangers and telling them your first name, and telling them that you are an alcoholic.
So anyhow, I've been reading the posts here off and on for a couple months, and you all seem like a good bunch of folks. I generally come straight to this forum as soon as I'm done reading each new update on the achewood page to see what you all had to say.
I got into achewood about a year ago, and check the page for updates a ridiculous number of times each week.
I do not like little animated smiling faces.
I also do not like my job.
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I do not like little animated smiling faces.
I also do not like my job.
I can live with these. Welcome.
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Actually it's more like the game "Train Wreck" where you stand in a circle, tell us your name and something about you. Then everybody who shares that trait runs through the circle and tries to find a seat before they're left stranded in the middle.
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Welcome to the board. I, too, am not really fond of animated :) faces, but they appear to be required for this sort of enterprise...
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Welcome to you. I find most people don't like their jobs and yet no one is doing anything to move us all to a system of *****s that do all the work while we sit back and rake in the 401k racket.
Then again, the *****s would certainly break free eventually and try to feast on the blood of children.
Hrm.. so in conclusion, welcome to the feast of childblood. Shit, that's not what I meant. Aw dammi-
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Is the Rider in your icon a regular non-ironic type or is he pop-culturally appropriated by a band for a poster or something? I can't tell with the text at the bottom so tiny.
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Is the Rider in your icon a regular non-ironic type or is he pop-culturally appropriated by a band for a poster or something? I can't tell with the text at the bottom so tiny.
I'm curious too. It looks like a Rider version with a slight flavor of... COMMUNISM!
Oh, and welcome. And don't worry, if jobs were supposed to be fun they wouldn't be called jobs.
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I'm curious too. It looks like a Rider version with a slight flavor of... COMMUNISM!
Oh, and welcome. And don't worry, if jobs were supposed to be fun they wouldn't be called jobs.
except for(getting) blowjobs, of course.
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except for(getting) blowjobs, of course.
Right, I forgot about that whole category of jobs... Too bad we can't get paid cash money for that.
Unless you're a porno actor. But then, I guess it becomes like a job...
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Welcome to the board, Jeepers. We look forward to your continued contributions.
Cheers.
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Is the Rider in your icon a regular non-ironic type or is he pop-culturally appropriated by a band for a poster or something? I can't tell with the text at the bottom so tiny.
Appropriated, remixed, remastered, shrinkwrapped, and sold.
Lifted from the collected works of Brian Ewing, who I am told is a decent man.
*a link disguised as a sentence. (http://www.brianewing.com/art.php?type=poster&start=0&limit=137)
( I am not so computer savvy as to know how to make a link look like something other than it's url. If this is a forum faux pas, let me know, and most likely I will cry before I sleep tonight.)
*edited to reflect newfound knowledge.
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http://www.brianewing.com/art.php?type=poster&start=0&limit=137 (http://www.brianewing.com/art.php?type=poster&start=0&limit=137)
( I am not so computer savvy as to know how to make a link look like something other than it's url. If this is a forum faux pas, let me know, and most likely I will cry before I sleep tonight.)
It's all good. If you want to prettify links, the code is quite simple:
(url=http://www.yourlink.goeshere.com)Your shiny descriptive text goes here(/url)
Except with brackets instead of parentheses.
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thank you ever so kindly. (http://www.savontv.com/chia-pet-kitten.html)
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Oh look, Jeepers has the word "heinie" under his avatar. *giggle*
"Everyone dance like there's heinie in his p*nts" just doesn't have the same ring to it, does it?
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thank you ever so kindly. (http://www.savontv.com/chia-pet-kitten.html)
Hi Jeepers! Since you have been such a polite and pleasent newbie, I will tell you a story related to this link that you posted. It's a story the involves me crying in a Wal-Mart, so read on if you dare:
In the time in between high school and when I went to university, as many of the regulars here know, I worked at a Wal-Mart. What many don't know is that my time at Wal-Mart was a time of sadness, not just because I was working at Wal-Mart, but because shortly after beginning my job there before the holiday shopping rush, my first true love tore my heart out of my chest and stomped up and down on it in front of me in a restaurant parking lot. So I was this sad little girl in a blue vest, selling blenders and mixers and razors (oh my!) and living with my parents and just basically hating my life. So I'd go to work, do the Wal-Mart wiggle, and then head off to deal with the world of consumers and the things they consumed, and I was a sad, sad little girl.
I quickly made friends with the equally depressed pre-university girl in the toy department who management disliked since she started getting numerous piercings and dying her hair interesting colours a few months after they hired her. She and I took a great deal of pleasure in going to the doll isle and staring that the rows and rows of Spice Girl dolls (http://cgi.ebay.ca/spice-girl-dolls_W0QQitemZ7581975506QQcategoryZ344QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem) we remained transfixed by them for large increments of time, until someone from middle management would find us and put us back to work. So I had these moments of fun with my coworker, but was generally pretty broken hearted, and would occasionally go hide in the bathroom and cry a little bit - my poor tender heart and a boy much too old for me you see.
Anyway, more and more Christmas items started coming in and I went with my friend to unpack some new stock that had arrived. We opened a box and there was the friendly face of Elmo looking up at his. "Tickle Me Elmo? What does this thing do?" we wondered, and then we quickly learned what he did - he laughed and then he vibrated in such a way as to shake himself box and all off the shelf. We found this really funny, and mildly disturbing, and had no idea that we would hear the question "Do you have the Tickle Me Elmo?" so much that we'd want to murder! So we stacked boxes of Elmos onto the shelves unaware at the time that they would become the Christmas hot ticket item, and after getting them on the shelf, we set about two dozen of them off on a vibrating fit for the fun of it, watched them tumble to a pile on the floor, then reshelved them all again.
The next box was not more Elmos, but a crate full of Chia Pets, these were not so fun to shelve, and my coworker was needed elsewhere, so I was left to unpack the Chia Pets alone. After unpacking a few, I started to read the packaging, and on the side of the box it noted that a "Chia Pet makes a great Gift!" and listed it's attributes. I can only remember the last item listed for sure, but it went something like this: "Easy to Grow! Great for Fun, Entertainment, and Companionship!" Now, to this day, the idea of anyone, anyone using a Chia Pet for companionship is still a hauntingly depressing concept to me, but at that point, when I read if for the first time, I actually started to cry right there in the Seasonal Christmas items isle. I imagined all the elderly people who fondly tended to their Chias. I imagined some loser kid who didn't have any friends hanging out and talking to his Chia as if it were a friend. And being the newly dumped, I imagined me, sitting in my room, listening to my CD's and watering my Chia. I hid in the back stock room until my shift was almost over.
Now it just seems sort of silly, but seriously - companionship? From a lump of wet terracotta and some sprouts? That is seriously, seriously The Saddest Thing.
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I didn't believe it when I read it in another thread, but I believe it now. Side Show is campaigning.
Also, I am going to need a Chia Pet in Huntington UT.
~Paul
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But Paul, I've always told long blathering stories, why is it now called campaigning? I want you to win anyway
Anyway, the Chia story is true, and so sad, and now when ever I'm with my SO and he sees a Chia Pet, he says "Don't look!" because he knows that Chia Pets = sadness for me, and he's heard the story way too many times. Companionship, people, companionship.
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On the Internet, you can always find someone else who haven't already heard your Chia Pet stories. It's a beautiful thing.
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To tell my own Chia Pet story (it's boring and pointless, but it's on-topic!):
Some Christmasses ago, when I was in elementary school, my dad and I went out shopping to buy my mom her Christmas gifts. My mother is an extremely hard person to shop for: very practical, without a lot of desire for material things, and who normally wants the same things every year. Well, as usual, my dad decided that we weren't going to settle for filling out her usual "flavored coffee and two new pairs of sweat#####" list; we were going to get her a surprise. And what would that be? We decided (I think jointly, because this seems better in retrospect if a ten-year-old was involved in the decision-making process): a Chia Pet! We could put it in the living room! It'd be great! So we went to the store and picked one out; based on the box, we expected it to be a kitty.
Cut to Christmas morning, when my mother is a bit nonplussed to receive a Chia Pet. She opens the package and finds... not the chia kitty we expected, but a chia bull, (http://www.jczinn.com/oaxaca/chia.jpg) which is just about the ugliest thing on God's creation. To say that she was confused, and we were disappointed, would be a great understatement.
(My mother actually grew the damn thing, God bless her... it didn't provide companionship, but that was probably for the best.)
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She opens the package and finds... not the chia kitty we expected, but a chia bull, (http://www.jczinn.com/oaxaca/chia.jpg)
it is the worst herbs, grown on the ugliest pottery.
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Frightening Variety of Chia Pets (http://www.chia.com/shrek.html)
I remember when there was just the sheep. Now there are about 20 different chia pets. This one is probably my favorite; Shrek meets Gabe Kaplan.
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Frightening Variety of Chia Pets (http://www.chia.com/shrek.html)
I remember when there was just the sheep. Now there are about 20 different chia pets. This one is probably my favorite; Shrek meets Gabe Kaplan.
"Shrek meets Gabe Kaplan" just makes me think of a sitcom about a big green ogre going back to his inner-city high school to teach the ogrish minds of the future.
(Man, someone should have made a Horshack Chia Pet. Now there's an idea whose time has come passed!)
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If Shrek had a bigger forehead we'd have a Richard Simmons Chia Pet. The horror...
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Now it just seems sort of silly, but seriously - companionship? From a lump of wet terracotta and some sprouts? That is seriously, seriously The Saddest Thing.
I just trumped the saddest thing.
I just had my birthday. I got no presents, no cake. Then my cat was acting sad, so I took him to the vet where I had to pay a man $500 to tell me that he had cancer and have him put to sleep. He was one year old, and had been my only friend since I moved to this awful town. For me, this is the saddest thing.
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I just trumped the saddest thing.
I just had my birthday. I got no presents, no cake. Then my cat was acting sad, so I took him to the vet where I had to pay a man $500 to tell me that he had cancer and have him put to sleep. He was one year old, and had been my only friend since I moved to this awful town. For me, this is the saddest thing.
That is terrible. My dog was put to sleep on my birthday. It was sad, but he was so old, and blind and deaf, and had cancer, that it was the right thing to do.
But really, I'm so very sorry. Worst. Birthday. Ever. Ever. Luckily, at TOUAMB, we're all about caring. So, you've come to the right place.
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I'm so very sorry. That is terrible.
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What a bummer, so sorry. Very sad.
~Paul
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Oh oh.. that is the saddest thing ever! I miss my cat dearly, but at least I had years with him and he was always there on my birthday.
I am very sorry about this Jeepers.
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I'm so sorry, Jeepers. That really is the saddest thing.
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Oh... oh, my god Jeepers... I, I don't know what to say.... That's...so...sad. I feel like I should take up a collection to buy you a Chia pet now. For... for... companionship. Oh, pathos! Fuck. If one of my cats died I'd need to take serious time off work to just sit and cry for a while, so my deep, deep sympathy to you.
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Wow folks, i feel all.... like i've been hugged... by the cold *****ic arms of the internet... words representing people that may or may not exist.
that is to say, thanks all. But don't feel bad for me, I got to spend the day with a friend even if it was our last day. My girlfriend came to visit too, so I had company after the whole deal.
I did like in wiffle-ball as a kid when you hit the ball in the roof gutter. I called it a do-over and had my birthday the next day. When my mom and dad and grandma called me, I told them that they were a day early and that they should hang up and call me the following day. It made for a better day.
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This thread really does run the gamut. Jeepers you seem a good fellow and a resourceful one at that (calling off your own birthday requries a panache not many can muster), I would feel gladdened to see your merry avatar about our boards.
I'm sorry that you lost your cat, kitty cancer is never a happy thing.
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Welcome, Jeepers. However, I'ma tell you right now: I'm not gonna call you Jeepers.
I'ma call you....Jinkies.
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Welcome, Jeepers. However, I'ma tell you right now: I'm not gonna call you Jeepers.
I'ma call you....Jinkies.
So what you're saying is that in 4 months Jough will have changed his name to Velma
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ZOINKS!
Darn meddlin' kids...
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Wasn't Jinkies the name of the cat in "Meet the Parents"?
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Wasn't Jinkies the name of the cat in "Meet the Parents"?
It's the name of the Monkey in the Bob Schneider song that Wombat likes, but iwon't let me burn for her.
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You don't need to burn it because I bought his CD. Because I have, you know, that complex about copying things. But I appreciate the offer.
But wait a minute, there's a song that mentions a monkey at the start but it doesn't have a name, does it? You're pulling my leg, dang, I am at work and can't go look at the lyrics...
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You don't need to burn it because I bought his CD. Because I have, you know, that complex about copying things.
Does yours have the three extra tracks like mine, that (according to the sleeve) are only available on the "Texas Edition?"
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You are just jerking my chain, right, Paul? Because you know I am at work again and can't go look at the darn thing.
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Don't ever, ever mess with Texas. Our editions have bonus tracks, and our cars spout flames.
Jeepers - I enjoy both your avatar and the Locust. They're a band who looks great in comic rendition. (http://www.sammcpheeters.com/design/loctract.htm)
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You are just jerking my chain, right, Paul? Because you know I am at work again and can't go look at the darn thing.
Sadly no, mine has 17 tracks. I'm sorry to break your heart, but you brought it on yourself. Playing by the music industy's rules leads to heartbreak.
~Paul
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Wasn't Jinkies the name of the cat in "Meet the Parents"?
His name was Mr. Jinks (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0212338/trivia), but I do think "Jinkies" was used as a term of endearment.
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Sadly no, mine has 17 tracks. I'm sorry to break your heart, but you brought it on yourself. Playing by the music industy's rules leads to heartbreak.
OK, mine has 13. But he's pulling my leg, right? Because his story is inconsistent. He says three extra tracks, but 13 plus 3 is not 17. I've got him, right?
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OK, mine has 13. But he's pulling my leg, right? Because his story is inconsistent. He says three extra tracks, but 13 plus 3 is not 17. I've got him, right?
I'm not pulling your leg (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00005AKFN/ref=m_art_li_3/104-8606958-9130340?s=music&v=glance&n=5174).
~Paul
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I'm not pulling your leg (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00005AKFN/ref=m_art_li_3/104-8606958-9130340?s=music&v=glance&n=5174).
~Paul
Ah, this explains everything, including the lack of monkeys. I have his OTHER record!