The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => People & Places => Topic started by: lprkn on February 24, 2006, 10:17:27 pm
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Okay, so since the first official mention of the GOF(Jan. 25), 55 people have joined TOUAMB. This means that approximately 12% of the members on this board have joined in about a month's time.
Might make a graph later.
Education
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Don't get too excited. There's still a strong cadre of people who've were here within 24 hours of the board going live. N00bs come and go.
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Oh, I realize that. Many of the new jois have yet to post anyway. But, still... 12%.
I realize that I am part of that 12%
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NO ONE SURVIVED n00b attack on fuck mountain!
Man LepreKHAAAN... you are just on fire today. FIRE
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Oh, yeah, all you n00bs out there, here is your chance to distinguish yourself. Us old foggies of the board are having some serious trouble telling you all apart, so why not use this thread to tell us something about yourself that makes you outstanding? What might make you outstanding? Having an extra appendage or one of an unusual size, being from anywhere but the U.S., stalking a dog on the internet, being scarred for life by a squirrel attach, etc.
Also, all you lurkers out there, who are you? Come out, come out whereever you are. Join now and win serious hazing, and possibly tiny cans of soda. (Dr. Tuffy, I'm looking at you!)
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I'm a guy that likes to read a comic strip on the internet and finally decided to talk about it with people I don't know from time to time. I could tell entertaining stories about myself but I'm okay with just being that guy for now.
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Well apparently I have what some would call a Burger dick and mild retardation.
Check the "GOF Newbie Gender" (http://touamb.com/index.php/topic,2568.0.html) thread for exciting details!
Edit: added link, saved some lives
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You could link to that thread, Mr Future Dead Person.
Jeez, what does it take to get some decent noobs around here these days?
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You could link to that thread, Mr Future Dead Person.
Jeez, what does it take to get some decent noobs around here these days?
Well, I did link it at first. But I wasn't sure if I should link to the first page, the second page or some random post that would probably confuse everyone. I guess it was a hasty decision and maybe a poor one. But I didn't confuse anyone. hooray?
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Jeez, what does it take to get some decent noobs around here these days?
Free whiskey and nudity?
Wait.. come back! You haven't heard my ideas!
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You could link to that thread, Mr Future Dead Person.
Jeez, what does it take to get some decent noobs around here these days?
According to you, some kind of pseudo-satanic pledge system.
At least that's what I got out of it.
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According to you, some kind of pseudo-satanic pledge system.
At least that's what I got out of it.
Yes! Yes! That's it exactly!
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Free whiskey and nudity?
Wait.. come back! You haven't heard my ideas!
This could work depending on who exactly is naked. Although we could compensate with more whiskey.
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This could work depending on who exactly is naked. Although we could compensate with more whiskey.
I'm going to need a ratio on the Whiskey:Attractive Nudity ratio here Cort. I may, and I'm only guessing here, but I may even need a chart.
And examples, for the whole class.
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Distinguishing feature:
Judging from the calendar, I am the youngest person here by at least two years. Help. Other young'uns please let me know about you, so we can discuss things like girls and how mean the older board members are.
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Judy! Have you never noticed the following note at the bottom of the Achewood main page?
Get Out of Here
Achewood is not for readers under 18 years of age.
You turn that computer off and go to your room.
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This makes me sound like a supercilious overly mature dick, but that goes a really long way to explaining your name Judy.
In a world where we all conform to expected stereotypes at least.
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Distinguishing feature:
Judging from the calendar, I am the youngest person here by at least three years. Help. Other young'uns please let me know about you, so we can discuss things like girls and how mean the older board members are.
If you can't be as cool as Andalucia, you have to leave.
Now.
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To clarify, FutureDeadPerson, I was merely stating that, if you actually had two Y chromosomes, you would probably be mildly retarded. I am sure that, as a normally bisomic individual, you have a towering intellect as well as a giant Double Whopper in your boxers.
Judy, I continue to be mesmerized by your avatar. That's what you mean to me, so there. (Also, why is Judy a dickslap? And is that one word, or two, or a hyphenate? "Dick-slap" looks terminally old-timey.)
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I am older than you! haha!
by two whole years.
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Judy, I am twice your age yet we can both appreciate Achewood. So age ain't no thing. It's immaturity that matters.
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Oh, yeah, all you n00bs out there, here is your chance to distinguish yourself. Us old foggies of the board are having some serious trouble telling you all apart, so why not use this thread to tell us something about yourself that makes you outstanding? What might make you outstanding? Having an extra appendage or one of an unusual size, being from anywhere but the U.S., stalking a dog on the internet, being scarred for life by a squirrel attach, etc.
That would be me. Did I mention that already? I think I did.
Also, I'm old. And Finnish. Just think of me as the old Finnish duder who got bitten on the toe by a squirrel when he was a kid.
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This makes me sound like a supercilious overly mature dick, but that goes a really long way to explaining your name Judy.
In a world where we all conform to expected stereotypes at least.
My name is a song title of a band called Belle and Sebastian! It is not an immature attempt at humour or really hurting someone's feelings by calling them a kind of mean sexual act.
Judy, I continue to be mesmerized by your avatar. That's what you mean to me, so there. (Also, why is Judy a dickslap? And is that one word, or two, or a hyphenate? "Dick-slap" looks terminally old-timey.)
David Byrne of Talking Heads is my avatar. He is a special dancer.
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David Byrne of Talking Heads is my avatar. He is a special dancer.
Man, I really should have guessed from the "Girlfriend is Better" line. Ah, well.
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David Byrne of Talking Heads is my avatar. He is a special dancer.
Whoa, so that's not one the the Jackson 5?
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I thought that was a woman dancing there. Wow then. I can't say that I enjoy the dancing as much as the music.
I am distinguishable because I have Nightshade as an avatar, and I listen to more ska than you do. That's right. Don't even try.
I also make games (http://doug.finalownage.com/stuff/bumfight/screens/80.png), take photographs (http://doug.finalownage.com/img/pictures/weird/weird13.jpg), and draw comics (http://doug.finalownage.com/img/comic2.gif).
Actually, ignore the last one there. There is no good reason for its existence.
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Whoa, so that's not one the the Jackson 5?
I thought it was, like, a Supreme or a Marvalette or a Vandella or something.
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Oh, yeah, all you n00bs out there, here is your chance to distinguish yourself. Us old foggies of the board are having some serious trouble telling you all apart, so why not use this thread to tell us something about yourself that makes you outstanding? What might make you outstanding?
Do I get extra cool n00b points because I joined before the GOF? Does that make me old school? Actually, when I think about it, I don't think it's possible to get cool points at all, ever, if you have purposely sought out a discussion board dedicated to talking about alive stuffed animals and cats that love to get their bone on.
So what makes me special? The same thing that war is good for, which I have been told is... Absolutely nothing.
When I'm not in here gettin' my dork on, I am out somewhere doing one of the following: reading obsessively, skydiving, doing laundry (well I might add), touching myself inappropriately, scuba diving, rearranging and relabeling the monstrosity that is my iTunes folder, worrying about the fact that I have gray hair at my age, inventing new ways to anger my girlfriend, cooking delicious gourmet meals and then only eating a little bit of it because I snacked the whole time I was cooking, driving right at the speed limit and always using my turn signal, studying my college classes (I didn't start college till age 26), getting tattooed, and every now and then taking my girlfriend out to dinner.
I hope this suffices.
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I don't think it's possible to get cool points at all, ever, if you have purposely sought out a discussion board dedicated to talking about alive stuffed animals and cats that love to get their bone on.
Aw fuck. Why do I never get the memo?
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Does that make me old school?
No.
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What's with the cans of dr pepper? I am a fan of the drink, and I see that they are some kind of rewards/appreciation system of sorts. But I haven't seen any way to add/remove them from people. Does that ability come with a higher post count or something?
And after my first two posts, I got two. Then I posted again and lost both. It seems like some people are a bit arbitrary or something such as that.
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People are very arbitrary. You'll be able to give/take cans when you have 25 posts under your belt, but then use your powers wisely. Until then, try to keep track of this one.
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Ah, that makes sense then. Wooo!
/drinks can
whoops
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I wonder if there's some kind of built in penalty for posting too many times too quickly as a newbie. Because I've seen a lot of people sign up and go to -6 cans basically immediately.
But as far as I can tell there are no realy penalities for lack of cans. Like on some boards where your karma must be >x to start a new topic or >y to open a poll or something.
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I wonder if there's some kind of built in penalty for posting too many times too quickly as a newbie. Because I've seen a lot of people sign up and go to -6 cans basically immediately.
But as far as I can tell there are no realy penalities for lack of cans. Like on some boards where your karma must be >x to start a new topic or >y to open a poll or something.
Ooh, that's a good idea. Charge the noobs a fee to make posts.
~Paul
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Does anybody think that is a good idea? I mean, it actually does make sense for some boards, where the average user is an inarticulate fanatic with a broken caps lock key. However, I think that the Achewood boards are generally moron-free, so our karma points are just there more for fun than anything else.
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However, I think that the Achewood boards are generally moron-free...
Well, almost.
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Ooh, that's a good idea. Charge the noobs a fee to make posts.
But then you'd never get any new people...
...oh, I get it now.
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But then you'd never get any new people...
...oh, I get it now.
The boards that I've seen use this system let anybody make posts (otherwise how would you raise your karma) but you need 10+ karma to start a new topic
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The boards that I've seen use this system let anybody make posts (otherwise how would you raise your karma) but you need 10+ karma to start a new topic
That seems pretty fair, and it would certainly stop the common newbie tactic of starting topics in order to create a name for themselves; even if it's a stupid, inane or all ready exhausted thread. Not pointing fingers at anyone, other than myself.
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On the other hand, we functioned really well when there was no such thing as a tiny can of Dr Pepper, and since we got them they have served as nothing more than a proxy for people's otherwise seemingly incredible need for external validation from strangers.
I don't really care but I would vote to get rid of them altoghether if that were proposed.
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Don't take away my external validation from strangers.
~Paul
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Where else would I get external validation? Inter-personal interactions? SOCIETY?!
Oh man, you make a strong point.
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Whenever I need an external validation, I get a handjob from a cheap hooker.
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Whenever I need an external validation, I get a handjob from a cheap hooker.
Hey Ooo.
~Paul
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whenever I need external validation, I get miles to pay me to give him a handjob.
that was an act of love! you'll never know anything so beautiful!
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What, theinevitable, Mr. Gary welshing on ya?
Anyway, if I didn't want to receive external validation from strangers or suspend my disbelief about fake cartoon cats, I wouldn't be on the Internet. What's AD doing here if he's so reality-based, anyway?
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I am totally against stopping newbs starting topics. Think about it, we'd never get a Sugah rain or Kai or anything like that. Where's the love?
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Anyway, if I didn't want to receive external validation from strangers or suspend my disbelief about fake cartoon cats, I wouldn't be on the Internet. What's AD doing here if he's so reality-based, anyway?
So what, for the second time in a few months, you figure my opinion means I don't deserve to be here? At least I try to keep my criticisms in the abstract or the general.
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I don't deserve to be here?
That's not it at all. It's that it breaks our hearts to hear that you don't need us.
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That's not it at all. It's that it breaks our hearts to hear that you don't need us.
Inasmuch as some of you are real (and can be mailed to, etc.) I like you - but as for a need, few things really qualify in my life. I need food and shelter, an income, the love and support of my wife, the adoration of my children. Those last I need because I've become dependent on them for my emotional well-being,
This conversation is about the cans. If anyone here would actually suffer some form of psychological trauma due to anything involving the imaginary cans of soda, I suggest powering down your computer and going out with your friends. Get a hug or something more. It's for your own good.
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ommg btu teh c4ns!!1 htey r mah l1vlih0od!!!!!!!!!!~~~! gimm3 mah can5!!!
::cough:: sorry about that.
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That's not it at all. It's that it breaks our hearts to hear that you don't need us.
Don't pay him any mind Wombie, he's just feeling self important because he's got a new baby on the way. Congrats btw. Good job on that go forth and multiply thing.
~Paul
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One of my ex-girlfriends was obsessed with Dr. Pepper. I never drank the stuff. I prefer root beer.
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One of my ex-girlfriends was obsessed with Dr. Pepper. I never drank the stuff. I prefer root beer.
Philistine...
~Paul
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Philistine...
I guess so.
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Don't pay him any mind Wombie, he's just feeling self important because he's got a new baby on the way. Congrats btw. Good job on that go forth and multiply thing.
Yeah, that's what we need - more people.
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More nice, sweet, good, happy people.
the world needs balance. I figure it'll take three to counteract Jough.
Accomplished
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So what, for the second time in a few months, you figure my opinion means I don't deserve to be here? At least I try to keep my criticisms in the abstract or the general.
Alternately, I could be overstating the case a bit. Y'know, because... I do that sometimes.
That said, I don't understand why you protest so much about board stuff on the basis that it's a message board about cartoon cats and thus it doesn't matter that much. I mean, either it matters (in which case arguing about it is legitimate) or it doesn't (in which case live and let live). Also, to be honest, I sort of resent the implication that I'm a pathetic wretch with nothing in my life but the Internet, but whatever. No use caring about it.
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Well, V, if the shoe fits...
Also, AlohaDawg, it takes at least 19 men (and a boy) to balance me out.
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Well, V, if the shoe fits...
Also, AlohaDawg, it takes at least 19 men (and a boy) to balance me out.
Did you just pull a fat joke on yourself?
~Paul
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ZING!
Let's see, I'm a fat guy congratulating another fat guy for making a fat joke at the expense of a third fat guy. Hmm...
<weeps>
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ZING!
Let's see, I'm a fat guy congratulating another fat guy for making a fat joke at the expense of a third fat guy. Hmm...
<weeps>
Please, it's "dudes of gravity"
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Well, V, if the shoe fits...
If the shoe fits, blog incoherently about it for fifteen paragraphs, at least three of them in SOLID CAPS LOCK?
(Maybe I do need to get the hell off the Internet.)
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If the shoe fits, blog incoherently about it for fifteen paragraphs, at least three of them in SOLID CAPS LOCK?
Ayn Rand: She Can Bring Home The Bacon, Fry It Up In A Pan, And Then Write 200 Pages About It (http://www.geocities.com/jarbabyj/aynrants.html)
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Alternately, I could be overstating the case a bit. Y'know, because... I do that sometimes.
That said, I don't understand why you protest so much about board stuff on the basis that it's a message board about cartoon cats and thus it doesn't matter that much. I mean, either it matters (in which case arguing about it is legitimate) or it doesn't (in which case live and let live). Also, to be honest, I sort of resent the implication that I'm a pathetic wretch with nothing in my life but the Internet, but whatever. No use caring about it.
The difference is that I don't use your name every time I complain about something and yet, for whatever reason, you use mine as though I attack you personally. So either you're guilty or paranoid, take your pick.
I have nothing personal against you and take pains not to single anyone out, but you single me out every time.
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Well, AD, in all fairness, just because you don't mention someone by NAME doesn't mean you don't mention her by REFERENCE.
Man, what is it with people who live in Hawaii anyway?
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That f*cking island!
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Well, AD, in all fairness, just because you don't mention someone by NAME doesn't mean you don't mention her by REFERENCE.
Man, what is it with people who live in Hawaii anyway?
I don't think 'mentioning' and 'referring' are the same thing. Referring is indirect by design. My point was just that; it's more fair to criticize a situation or a behavior than a person. That's what I'm saying - I don't use names or very specific identifiers on purpose. If people want to step up and basically admit to what I'm talking about, hey, fine, but i try not to call 'em out.
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Fair enough. I suppose everyone could benefit by not criticising people but rather mocking their ideas. It's not exactly in the spirit of the internet, but dammit, people, we're better than the internet.
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Fair enough. I suppose everyone could benefit by not criticising people but rather mocking their ideas. It's not exactly in the spirit of the internet, but dammit, people, we're better than the internet.
It's more of a life skill than an internet skill. Conflicts that center on ideas or behaviors or decisions that can be objectified are a lot easier to deal with than conflicts involving emotions and personalities. So avoiding emotion and personalities helps (but sure doesn't always) make discussion possible.
The trouble with the internet is that the usual social constraints are gone and the usual either self- or externally placed limits are minimized. This is a good thing for shy people but a bad thing for very outgoing people. It should be balancing but it doesn't seem to be.
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If the shoe fits, blog incoherently about it for fifteen paragraphs, at least three of them in SOLID CAPS LOCK?
(Maybe I do need to get the hell off the Internet.)
THA SUGAH RAIN HAS COME
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i am a person that enjoys a momentary diversion on the road to the grave. I can roll a better joint than anybody on this board. I am from Oklahoma (boo). I like to say boo when something is bad. I may be going to jail soon.
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i am a person that enjoys a momentary diversion on the road to the grave. I can roll a better joint than anybody on this board. I am from Oklahoma (boo). I like to say boo when something is bad. I may be going to jail soon.
This is the best life summary EVER. Hands down. The rest of you can stop trying.
I now have an exact mental picture of you which I am sure to 99% exactitude is correct. Your eyes are brown, right?
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That is pretty high quality.
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Things are going remarkably poorly.
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Well, I thought this was a thread about noobs, but aparently it has evolved into some horrible petri dish of despair. DESPAIR!
You people!
YOU PEOPLE!
Gah!
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i am a person that enjoys a momentary diversion on the road to the grave. I can roll a better joint than anybody on this board. I am from Oklahoma (boo). I like to say boo when something is bad. I may be going to jail soon.
Hi goldenchurchill,
So, would you be going to vacation-like-tax evasion jail, or scary-stab-you-with-a-shiv-type jail?
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i am a person that enjoys a momentary diversion on the road to the grave. I can roll a better joint than anybody on this board. I am from Oklahoma (boo). I like to say boo when something is bad. I may be going to jail soon.
Hi goldenchurchill,
So, would you be going to vacation-like-tax evasion jail, or scary-stab-you-with-a-shiv-type jail?
Well, I guess there's no maybe about it.
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Well I suppose I should introduce myself then. I'm Flip. Hi!
I found about Achewood maybe two years ago and I've lurked around the boards before, decided to join because of the current arc, stop me if you've heard this one.
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stop me if you've heard this one.
Stop.
But you have HST mixed with Duck Hunt. So you can stay. Welcome!
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AWESOME.
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AWESOME.
You had best be, indeed, packing steel.
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You had best be, indeed, packing steel.
Only on Sundays.
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Only on Sundays.
I kinda hope "Packing Steel" isn't a euphamism for something other than having a piece, but then.. I'm kinda hoping it is... just for the humor value.
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I kinda hope "Packing Steel" isn't a euphamism for something other than having a piece, but then.. I'm kinda hoping it is... just for the humor value.
You won't know unless you give me a reason to "pull it out". ;D
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Draw!
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Good thing it's not Sunday.
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Hi Flip,
You know, if only HST had learned from your avatar to shoot himself with a duck hunt gun - then we wouldn't have lost such a great talent. Sigh.
Do you know how many times I've shot myself in the head with my duck hunt gun? Like 100 or more. That's how I gained my super power of being able to string words together with such fluidity. Try it kids - it's true*
(*side_show is a known liar, and indeed anything she implies is "true" is likely the exact opposite. Please do not shoot yourself in the head with your duck hunt gun. Side_show, TOUAMB, and all it's subsidiary rights are not responsible for readers who do shoot themselves in the head with their duck hung guns, or for any related future decreases or increases in awesomeness.)
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hung guns,
I think that's what Queue's afraid of.
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I think that's what Queue's afraid of.
Ha. Humorous typo. Anyway, thanks for the warm welcome all, I look forward to a long prosperous future of insightful discussion and funny talking animals.
EDIT: Alright first tiny can. Things are looking up
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I think that's what Queue's afraid of.
Well Emilio Estevez isn't that great an actor, but at least it wasn't as bad as Hung Guns II: Cowboy Sauce.
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See, for me Hung Guns is all about Asian Cowboys.
(on an only vaguely related manner, anyone ever seen that horrible David Bowie movie with the love scene with the gun? WTF, people? WTF?)
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See, for me Hung Guns is all about Asian Cowboys.
(on an only vaguely related manner, anyone ever seen that horrible David Bowie movie with the love scene with the gun? WTF, people? WTF?)
And Videodrome (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0086541/) is even better.