The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board
Trivial Pursuits => Science & Nature => Topic started by: Jeepers on March 15, 2006, 07:29:10 pm
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This is why we invented science (http://www.newscientist.com/channel/mech-tech/mg18524823.800.html)
Maybe next, we can develop an anti-taliban bomb that makes everyone think that their food has turned into pork.
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man...
it would make most kids I know so much happier with their lives if they invented a bomb that made all terrorists gay.
having to dislike more than one group can be taxing.
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That's the gayest thing I ever heard.
What if they used the gay bomb and the bad breath bomb simultaneously?
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C'mon, folks. Clearly the news here isn't the gay bomb, it's the Enraged Wasp and Angry Rat Bomb. Now that's classy! My responses are twofold:
1) I guess a return to rat-based biological warfare is really all we did need to get back to the good ol'-fashioned Crusade model.
2) Wouldn't it be much simpler to just fill the bombs with live wasps/rats and trust that they'll be enraged when they land?
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2) Wouldn't it be much simpler to just fill the bombs with live wasps/rats and trust that they'll be enraged when they land?
Speaks the voice of rat experience!
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Speaks the voice of rat experience!
Seriously, you do not need a special chemical to get a rat angry. All you have to do is carry it around a little while! This is sufficient both to get the rat frothingly angry and also to give it cancer.
(My Psychology tutorial partner and I are about to start an experiment that will involve playing Bob Marley music for baby rats. It's a far cry from my last rat-lab experiment, thankfully...)
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I just envisioned a catapult launching a payload of angry gay rats.
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I say we give the rats bad breath and then make the soliders irresistable to them.
The weird part of this for me is that the rat/wasp thing involves there basically being tonnes of rats or wasps wherever the soldiers are, rats are pretty common I guess but how do you get enough wasps together to cause serious inconvenience to an army?
And no, the rats should be loaded into shells like the headcrabs in half life 2. The wasps can be shot from machine guns.
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And no, the rats should be loaded into shells like the headcrabs in half life 2. The wasps can be shot from machine guns.
What about dogs with bees in their mouths. And when they bark they shoot bees as you.
I can't even begin the wrap my head around the black market value of the Sexually Irresistable chemical bomb. Proms, night clubs, porn movie shoots, Girls Gone Wild. If they were to ever perfect it the entire global economy would completely dissolve with 3 days.
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What about dogs with bees in their mouths. And when they bark they shoot bees as you.
Nooooo! The bees will bite the dog's soft pink mouths! They will get an allergic reaction and swell up and die!
I am sorry, I am a dog hypochondriac.
As for where they'd get tons of wasps, the government is already breeding zillions of bees in secret bee farms. I saw it on X-Files, it must be true. But Doc's idea of the rats with bad breath is the best.
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What about dogs with bees in their mouths. And when they bark they shoot bees as you.
What are you gonna do, sic your dogs on me? Or your bees?
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Release the *****ic richard simmons!
Possibly a tad obscure
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Release the #####ic richard simmons!
Possibly a tad obscure
His ass is gonna blow!
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'Jstred!
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If you want to make the average 15-16 year old laugh (and who doesn't?) this story is basically the single best thing to do this with. It encompasses homosexuality, terrorists and the American military, making it a smorgasboard of chuckles for the criminally immature. I experienced this today.
No wonder the idea didn't get through. If military history taught us anything, the bond (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sacred_Band_of_Thebes) between soldiers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexuality_in_the_militaries_of_ancient_Greece) is a beautiful thing. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_the_Great#Alexander.27s_marriages_and_sexuality/)
EDIT: Links fixed. Oops.
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Release the #####ic richard simmons!
Possibly a tad obscure
"Come on, big boy! Shake that butter off those buns!"
Yeah, yeah, Cort beat me to it. But I got the reference, and by golly, that's what matters.
Also: 200 posts! And what better topic to honour the occasion than *****ic Richard Simmons?
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Dang hobot you are such a better Hobo than I am. All getting 200 posts and having 95 cans. All before me and you signed up after me. Congratulations!
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Dang hobot you are such a better Hobo than I am. All getting 200 posts and having 95 cans. All before me and you signed up after me. Congratulations!
See, this is what I was afraid of. Now there will be this clique of can-exchangers and a black-market, and people all trading sexual favors to get the highest can-to-post ratio. All excluding people from the club. All calling people double-digiters, and not even acknowledging comments from people below 20 cans. It's the end of the message board, I tells ya.
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Nabubrush, I would like to take a moment to tell you that whenever you post anything on this board so long as you have that Wayne Gretzky avatar, I will imagine Wayne Gretzky yelling your words.
Not directed at anyone in particular but when do I get my sexual favors?
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See, this is what I was afraid of. Now there will be this clique of can-exchangers and a black-market, and people all trading sexual favors to get the highest can-to-post ratio. All excluding people from the club. All calling people double-digiters, and not even acknowledging comments from people below 20 cans. It's the end of the message board, I tells ya.
It's madness, I tell you, madness! I blame those damn dirty apes.
(Meanwhile, in what appears to be my eternal affliction these days, I wonder helplessly who I have pissed off and why. Honestly, 33 cans? It's like the Lusitania of can counts, all spilling out karma into the cold and unforgiving Atlantic.)
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Do "pity cans" fall into this madness that has come over TOUAMB? V-Adore, If I were you I wouldn't worry about it. Post Count is another great reminder of who's on top of the food chain, and by the looks of things you going to be just fine. Think of post count as a long term status symbol. You're like one of the chiefs in a tribe. Many accomplishments have gotten you were you are and people respect this. Tiny cans is more like short term respect. So the new kid just brought down a big bison and everyone in the tribe loves her, for now! I'm not sure where else I can go with this tribe scenario but you get the idea.
What was the original topic?
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and people all trading sexual favors .
Who told you?
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Dang it people, I feel like I'm back playing the Random Game where tokens were handed out for amusing posts. But we could trade those in for valuable prizes unlike tiny cans which are just pretty to look at.
Needless to say, I did not claim many prizes.
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Dang it people, I feel like I'm back playing the Random Game where tokens were handed out for amusing posts. But we could trade those in for valuable prizes unlike tiny cans which are just pretty to look at.
Needless to say, I did not claim many prizes.
Sigh.. as long as we're having this discussion YET AGAIN, welcome cort, to the 100+ can club. Here's your membership card.
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Think of post count as a long term status symbol. You're like one of the chiefs in a tribe. Many accomplishments have gotten you were you are and people respect this. Tiny cans is more like short term respect. So the new kid just brought down a big bison and everyone in the tribe loves her, for now! I'm not sure where else I can go with this tribe scenario but you get the idea.
Yeah, but look at what the new kid is doing to the bison now. That sick fuck!
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Yeah, but look at what the new kid is doing to the bison now. That sick fuck!
Those bison asked for it! Look at the way they are dressed. They totally wanted it.
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Those bison asked for it! Look at the way they are dressed. They totally wanted it.
You know, Queue, I'm getting really tired of your obsessive bison-blaming. This always happens: "look at their hides!" "It was giving me a look!" "If megafauna didn't want to be hunted to extinction, they wouldn't live in habitats colonized by early hunter-gatherers!" This is species harrassment, and I think it degrades all of us, Queue. All of us.
I'm calling the Tribal Council, and we're gonna see what the Great Sky God has to say about this. If the dragon eats the moon aain, your ass is going down.
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your ass is going down.
You can throw me out of the tribe. You can take away my ceremonial pipe smoking rights. You can even take away my wife swapping membership card, but the one thing you can NOT do is bring my mule into this.
*rimshot*
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I'm going to write a script to find out who keeps taking away my cans, and then PUNISH them.
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I'm going to write a script to find out who keeps taking away my cans, and then PUNISH them.
It's God punishing you for touching yourself. Which, since you're God's Own Dick, means you're touching him as well. Without permission. You can see how this could make one uncomfortable.
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Dang hobot you are such a better Hobo than I am. All getting 200 posts and having 95 cans. All before me and you signed up after me. Congratulations!
It is okay, Hobo Frenzy; you are a good hobo, too! Maybe it is because I am a singing hobo, instead of a stabbing hobo like yourself. But that's perfectly acceptable!
Nothin' beats the hobo life!
Stabbin' folks with my hobo knife!
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It is okay, Hobo Frenzy; you are a good hobo, too! Maybe it is because I am a singing hobo, instead of a stabbing hobo like yourself. But that's perfectly acceptable!
Nothin' beats the hobo life!
Stabbin' folks with my hobo knife!
I was just having a little fun with you "no-bos"
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I'm going to write a script to find out who keeps taking away my cans, and then PUNISH them.
This only further illustrates what I call "the tiny can problem".
Ger rid of them before they ruin our happy little community.
Speaking of happy little community, Choooooop! Arrrrrrrrk! Where are you guys?
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Who told you?
Wait - I thought you and I had something special!
I'm going to write a script to find out who keeps taking away my cans, and then PUNISH them.
I actually had assumed that you, as the big cheese, tracked everyone's exchanges of cans. Huh.
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Wait - I thought you and I had something special!
Well duh, that's why you didn't know about having to give cans!
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I actually had assumed that you, as the big cheese, tracked everyone's exchanges of cans. Huh.
The admin panel doesn't keep a record of can flow, just numbers that have been giveth-ed and numbers that have been taketh-ed away.
Sad personal confession: I checked this myself, hoping to figure out who I'd pissed off, so that I could either send them a fruit basket or throw a beer bottle in a perfect spiral through their heads, whichever seemed most appropriate.
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Oh, who wouldn't check that, if they could? It wouldn't be human.
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The admin panel doesn't keep a record of can flow, just numbers that have been giveth-ed and numbers that have been taketh-ed away.
Sad personal confession: I checked this myself, hoping to figure out who I'd pissed off, so that I could either send them a fruit basket or throw a beer bottle in a perfect spiral through their heads, whichever seemed most appropriate.
This only further illustrates what I call "the tiny can problem".
Ger rid of them before they ruin our happy little community.
Speaking of happy little community, Choooooop! Arrrrrrrrk! Where are you guys